The Mortal Fringe

by Jordi Ribolleda

  I really don't want to go on with the conversation, it’s making my dizzy again and I can't stand looking at the two individuals in front of me. I take the jacket from my desk and I leave. Neither of them move a finger to stop me, which I appreciate. I walk down the corridor and take the stairs this time, as long as I'm walking, I won't be thinking about today. I go to the top floor, there's a terrace that usually is full of people, but today is just for me. It's already night. Not only have I lost the whole day, but the small part I remember of it makes for the worst day of my entire life, or at least one of them.

  I stand near the railing and I can see people walking in the street, they have no idea of the world they live in. In moments like this I must admit that ignorance is not that bad. There's a group of students gathered right in front of the residence, and that makes me feel alone again, as alone as I've ever been.

  How did this happen? How can all this be possible? Yesterday, I had a stupid theory about my teacher being some sort of freak that could live forever and now, not only that is true, but my closest friend and the one person I could fall for are members of her tribe, as they call it.

  "I'm sorry, you know?" Elizabeth has sneaked into the terrace, I have not heard her, which is not surprising after all. "You are a nice guy, I'm sorry this happened to you."

  I turn around and start to walk towards the entrance to the building, I can hear her behind me, but I will not turn to her. I know far too much to pretend that everything is alright.

  "I'm sorry too" and I close the door as hard as I can.

  CHAPTER 11

  The ringing of the phone wakes me up. There's no one in the room but me, thanks for not being here Jay. I take the phone, it's my mother. I don't want talk to anyone right now but it has been a couple of days since I last talked to her and I don't want her to worry.

  "Alex darling! You will not believe what just happened! Wait, I didn't wake you up honey, did I?"

  "You did mom, but it's ok. Go ahead, what happened?"

  "I just won tickets for the Super Bowl! There was this radio thing going on and they asked the most stupid question, no one got it right so I called and I won!"

  "But mom, you don't like football", I say it as If I was joking, I am really glad to hear her so excited. She sounds like in the old days.

  "Well, but I will keep them! I have never won a thing in my entire life!"

  "You do that, yes. But keep them safe, if you hit bankruptcy before February those might come in real handy."

  "I will never get your jokes darling. Is everything alright over there?" That's when I consider answering -yes, I only realized that I am the meal of some soon to be God. - But it doesn't look like a good idea.

  "Oh yes, everything's great. Listen, I got to go, love you, take care and say hi to grandpa. Bye."

  I hung up, but keep the phone glued to my hand, it makes me feel closer to her, to safety.

  "So, everything's great, is it?"

  Jay is standing on the door. He puts a cup of coffee on his table and another one on mine. The joy of not seeing him the moment I woke up has just vanished. Yesterday I would have told him about the tickets. He loves football, or at least he told me so, but that's none of my business anymore.

  "Fuck off Jay."

  I take the book again and continue reading where I left off. I am not particularly interested in the subject anymore, now that I know that all the nonsense written in here is true, but it's a way to avoid Jay's eyes on me.

  I go back the part of the Immortals.

  It is believed that those who bear the Immortal mark will become Gods in their millennia. The ultimate transformation requires the willing surrendering of a human soul, not out of fear, or force, but real love. The soul of the mortal and the soul of the Immortal shall bond together in that night and so, who was immortal, will become a God.

  The one thing that I take out from this is that as long as I don't fall for Elizabeth, I will be fine. The problem is self-evident. Never, I will never make the right choice in my life.

  "Why are you still reading that?"

  "Because I want to" I don't even look at him, why would I?

  "I know, but you can ask me whatever you want, you don't need to read it" That's true, last night they said that I could ask whatever I wanted.

  I put the book down and sit back, Jay is still standing in front of the door.

  "Are you an Immortal too?"

  "No, I'm not. Not exactly"

  "A God, already?"

  "Neither", he smiles "I'm a Keeper. Which I can see you haven't read about. "

  No, I haven't. I don't pay much attention to the tone in which he said that, it was more like a joke and I am so not buying it, not now. I have two options, I can both shut up and go on reading or I keep asking him. Since he has been helping me out to be more open to people, I go for the second option, was all that about this? So I wouldn't be shy to ask him anything now? Probably.

  "So you can die" It sounds as if it was something I deeply desire. That's the only thing I can think of. I want to apologize immediately, but I can't, I already said it and I can't deny that for one second, I meant it.

  "I will if I have to. You see, the Keeper's only purpose is to make sure that Catalyst and the Immortal bond on the millennia. Usually, Keepers don't have to stick around for much long, but Constance wanted me to keep an eye on you from day one."

  Is he trying to make me feel special? Because it is not working. It seems that mine is a very singular case, and I'd like to know why. But I don't have to ask, Jay has seen the question in my eyes and before I can make up the words he is already answering it.

  "Elizabeth is a very special Immortal, plus she is the only female one that Constance has ever had the honor of leading. Immortal women are said to be extremely powerful in the last stages of their life, so it is imperative that you are safe. She can't afford to lose your soul." I can't believe they speak up their minds that easily, it's my life we are talking about and I feel like if he could trade it for a Star Wars poster. "Sorry, I should not have said that."

  I'm done with it for now, I have to put all my thoughts together and this is not the place for that. You know you are in trouble when you feel trapped in your own room, and that's exactly how I feel. I have the feeling that I will feel trapped anywhere I go from now on.

  I stand up and put on a clean t-shirt, and a minute later I'm walking down the streets of Barcelona, this time on my own. Or so I think, because I have a shadow watching my step. Jay is walking right behind me, I know it. I can sense him. I really don't care. I should have taken my headphones, that way I could stop the thinking. I don't know which direction I'm going, I just walk, I know the city well enough to make my way back from almost anywhere so I don't care where I end up.

  It's almost night when I get somewhere I know, it's one of my favorite places in the city, Gaudi's masterpiece, The Park Güell. The doors are still open. I can't see Jay behind me so I sneak in and I lose myself in the architecture of the park. Every time I come here I can't stop looking up to the ceiling of the great colonnade. I can see some people taking pictures of themselves, I wish I could be so naive and do that too, if only they knew in what sort of world they live in. I go up to the great balcony, I have never seen it so empty in the time that I've been here. The sight of Barcelona is overwhelming, the huge city surrounded by the sea is the only thing between me and madness right now. This is the only quite moment I've had since yesterday, I can't even hear my thoughts.

  It's already night when I walk out the park, I am more relaxed and I think I can see things more clearly, at least as clear as one can see all that's happening around me. Again, I see people with shopping bags, having something to eat on the streets. Groups of friends, couples, lovely married grannies holding their purses as if they contain the secret to eternal life, and here I am alone, with nothing more to do than thinking about what I should do until the day of my sudden and premature death.

  This is not a dream anymore, ev
ery day that goes by I am closer to that moment, the bad thing is that I am fully aware of it, and I even know who the hangman will be.

  CHAPTER 12

  When I wake up the next morning I realize that I can remember parts of my dream. It had something to do with a field; it was rainy and everything but Elizabeth's eyes was as blurry as it could be. I don't have much to deal with but there must be a reason for me to start retaining some parts of the dream. I look to my left, Jay is sleeping, or at least he pretends to. I can't be sure, but I think he has been looking over me during the whole night. Just the feeling of spending five more minutes in here kills me. I put some clothes on and walk out the door and go straight to the check-in desk, and as if the woman working there was waiting for me, she stands up, takes of her glasses and with her childish voice asks me what I want.

  "I'd like to exchange rooms, if possible?" it seems like the wisest idea given the circumstances. But of course, she looks at me and with that look I can read what she would like to spit on my face It's halfway through the semester, you stupid boy, of course you can't».

  "Sorry, no more rooms" she says with a shy use of English. The fine attempt to master the language makes me smile. Well done, lady, I think.

  As frustrated as I am, I refuse to go back to my room so I just sit outside on the grass for some time. There are little groups of students gathered nearby, they are having some caffeine injections for the day. I can't believe I am even considering doing it, let alone actually doing it, but when I find myself standing up and walking towards them I realize that something has really changed during this past months, and not only the sudden existence of Gods and monsters. I have changed.

  "You mind if I sit with you?" what I intended to say sounded much better in my mind, but I'm guessing they didn't care much.

  "Oh, hi, you are the American one, right?" as if I was the only one in the city.

  "I am, yes" I fake a friendly smile, I am still not good at this. "How is it going?" wrong question, or at least it seems to be. They look at me like if I killed someone.

  "Sorry, do you know that guy over there?"

  "That guy? What?" I turn slowly because I'm terrified of what I might see. I follow the direction of the pointing fingers, which lead to Jay, wearing nothing but his underwear in the middle of the street. Shit. "No, I don't." I remain seated in the same spot and I pretend I have not seen him. A minute goes by, and another, and another, and the faces of the people surrounding me are still as surprised as before. All of them are looking at Jay. I will kill him, I will, I promise myself that. I stand up and go straight to him, I take him by the arm and lead him in.

  "What the hell are you doing?" I ask almost shouting.

  "What the hell were you doing? You are supposed to stick up with me, and obviously avoid contact with mortals."

  "Avoid contact with...?" I drag him to our room. "Avoid contact with mortals? Are you kidding? And besides, what's all that shit about sticking up with you? I thought I made myself clear, I am not interested, thank you."

  I have never felt as furious as now, I could crash something just with looking at it. Jay is fixing his eyes on me. Whatever move I make, he follows it, he obviously is not going to just leave the subject.

  "What the hell are you doing half naked in the street anyway?"

  "What? I wake up, you are not here… I went out looking for you" the funny thing is that he is actually convinced that this is normal behavior. If I think about it, it's actually funny.

  "Look, you are not my mother, and you will obviously not change my mind on the subject, so please, drop it."

  He says nothing, and I thank him for that. I lie on my bed again and cover my forehead with my hands. Again, that feeling of —this can't be happening to me— is coming back, but it is so cliché that I try to avoid it in a matter of seconds. Hell, this thing is going to kill me.

  "Feeling better?” he asks as if he was a psychologist and actually expected my emotional explosion.

  "Of course not, how on earth am I supposed to feel better?"

  "I don't know, just by doing so?"

  "It's not like if I had a feeling switch button" which would actually come in real handy.

  I put my arms on the bed, I breathe slowly and I try to appreciate the fact that he keeps trying to help. But the ultimate reason for that is that he wants me alive on the day that Elizabeth needs to take my soul, and that is not something I am ready to accept.

  Jay comes near my bed and sits down. He looks at me and with a —very real—friendly voice tries to comfort me.

  "Look, why don't we go out, like friends. And we can talk about all this."

  "I thought you said "like friends", talking about this is business for you", I answer without looking at him.

  "Well, I can't hide the truth. The offer is on. You decide." he stands up, gets into the bathroom and within seconds I can hear the water running.

  I spend the next seconds in the same position, then I pick up some old notebook I carried with me from home in which I used to write ideas for future novels, and I write the first thoughts that pop up, which turn out to be the first lines I've written here in months.

  After a promising start in the "Alex Stills American Dream", I must confess I have the greatest story that could have ever crossed my mind. The problem is that I will not live long enough to tell it, and that sucks. It turns out that all that crazy stuff that we tell to children about fantasy is not crazy stuff at all, and I have learned that in the best way possible. Experience, it all comes down to experience. Moral of the story: Don't go anywhere, some want-to-be-Gods might choose your soul to fulfill whatever their life's goal is.

  This is the most ridiculous journal entry that I have ever written, and yes, I want to acknowledge it, so it never happens again.

  This is Alex, still alive.

  I still don't know why I have accepted Jay's proposal, but the thing is that I am sitting in a bar with him and the loud music helps me not to concentrate on what I'm thinking.

  He has been friendly enough during all afternoon, as always, which is quite bothering. I hate it when people pretend that something has not happened. The cocktail in front of me remains intact, I don't feel like drinking, let alone being drunk in a couple of minutes. Jay, of course, doesn't seem to care much about a clearly possible drinking problem, since he is already on his third round and it doesn't look like his last.

  He stands up and goes to the table right next to us, there are a couple of girls, one of them I'm pretty sure lives in our residence. Jay talks to them both and in a matter of minutes the three of them are on the dance floor. I am just sitting here, and I cannot help but wonder, how the hell does he do it? I don't think I could be like that if I had to deal with everything that he has to put up with. The thought leaves as quickly as it appeared, obviously, I am just a simple mortal, as he would probably say.

  While he is out dancing I have time to think about this all over again, I am not convinced about what is more difficult to get used to, dying, or the reason for it. Neither of them are easy to focus on right now. I let my mind go with the music, and before the next song starts, the thoughts are back, obviously it is not going to be that easy. Ten minutes later, Jay is back on the table, he drinks a little bit more and puts the glass to a side. He sits back and looks at me.

  "I love this place" he is drunk.

  "So you wanted to talk?" I bring up the subject, not because I feel like hearing the same explanation over and over, but I want to put an end to this whole thing as soon as possible and now it could be my chance.

  "Oh yeah sure, shoot."

  "You are the one that wanted to talk, not me, remember?" the awkwardness of the moment makes me drink half of my cocktail in a sip. Is he being funny?

  "Yeah, right" he nearly stands up, his chest is on the table and he looks at me, straight into the eye. "The thing is...the thing is that you are a cool guy" that's all he says.

  If I wasn't in a public place, nor trying to control mysel
f, I would most likely crash my glass on his head right now. I say nothing, stare back at him and wait for another epiphany. Suddenly, all the joy on his face disappears, it's like all those drinks have not affected him at all, on a normal basis I would feel scared of the sudden change in his attitude, but now, now I just go along with it.

  "What I meant was, you will do the right thing."

  That is not what he should have said to start the conversation.

  "Do you ever consider, when you say all that stuff that you are talking about my life ending in a matter of months? And that you even want me to willingly accept it?"

  My reaction is more than a surprise to him, he sits back again and tries to build up something to say but he clearly can't. I guess that I should have kept my mouth shut but not about this, not this time. He finally looks at me, I can see fury in his eyes.

  "Look, this world, all this? It stinks, ok? I know it, but the same way I am here dealing with you and your stupid behavior, you have to deal with what's been given to you", he is being serious now "The moment your fate, if you want, crossed with Elizabeth's, you were bond to her, and if you don't do what it is expected from you, she will pay the consequences, and you will only be somebody else's meal."

  I try to process every bit of information he has just given me. Somebody else's meal, pay the consequences... I can't avoid feeling furious and guilty at the same time, but why guilty? I don't know, but I do. This whole thing is driving me crazy, and the one that can help me with it is sitting in front of me. One thing is for sure, I have a real friend, even though he insists on me surrendering my life, there's a friend in him. I am sure. My glass is on my hands again and I empty it in a matter of seconds. I am worried, more than worried, frustrated.

  "What do you mean by her paying the consequences?" I finally say, looking out the window and trying not to look at him as he tells me everything I don't want to hear.