Bear to Love: Kodiak Den #3 (Alaskan Den Men Book 8)

by Amy Lamont

  A hand, not one of the ones Gage had closed around me, smoothed over my shoulder, pushing my hair back from my face. I pulled away from Gage with a gasp, gulping for air.

  Nash’s hand on my shoulder moved to my chin, turning me to face him. His eyes were blazing at me with a deep need I couldn’t deny. Tightening my thighs over Gage’s lap to keep my balance, as well as keep the connection to Gage, I leaned in and kissed Nash.

  Nash’s kiss was different. Where Gage started out hard and needy, Nash’s was a slower build. He nibbled on my bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth to give it a gentle tug that made me moan into his mouth as my eyes drifted closed.

  He used the tip of his tongue to tease and coax me to open to him. With the knowledge that Gage’s hands braced me on his lap so I was in no danger of falling, I allowed my body to melt into Nash’s as the kiss deepened.

  He stroked his tongue inside and I moved a hand to cup his hard jaw, keeping my other hand braced on Gage’s chest.

  When Gage shifted restlessly beneath me, I slowly eased myself back from Nash’s kiss, feeling just as breathless as I had after Gage’s. I opened my eyes slowly to find two sets of eyes pinned to me, watchful and waiting.

  I skipped my gaze between the two as I tried to absorb what just happened. Sure, earlier I’d sort of accepted the fact I was meant to be the mate of both Nash and Gage. But back then it was purely theory. I hadn’t dwelled too long on the whys or hows.

  But now…now I’d more than dwelled. I’d tasted and touched and reveled. Not nearly as much as I wanted to, but it was a beginning.

  As my scattered and jumbled thoughts began to reassemble from all the corners they fled to as I’d fed on the mouths of two men currently staring at me, a slow grin formed on my lips.

  All my secrets were out. Nash and Gage learned about my singing. And while they might not be thrilled I’d been hanging out in bars in the city without any protection—and knowing them the way I did, I knew they wouldn’t consider Ben and Jack and Dean real protection no matter how well meaning my bandmates were—their reactions told me they liked my song.

  “Are you okay, sweetheart?” Nash’s eyes were filled with concern.

  I shook my head, not losing the smile for a second. “I’m way beyond okay.” I couldn’t help it, I leaned in and pressed a hard and fast kiss on his lips. Then I turned back to Gage and gave him the same. “You like my music.”

  Gage’s heavy-lidded gaze moved from his inspection of my mouth to meet my eyes.

  “I loved it,” he said simply.

  My smile grew. I twisted my head to include Nash in my happiness. I reached out and grabbed his hand. “And the three of us…”

  Uncertainty flitted across Nash’s face and he darted a quick glance at Gage.

  Nervous flutters filled my belly. Maybe they hadn’t felt the same way I had. “It felt…the three of us just now, I mean…it, well, it didn’t feel wrong to me.” My voice rose with the last few words, making them more question than statement.

  I skittered my gaze back and forth between the two of them, terrified the feelings I’d just experienced were just me.

  Gage gave me a gentle shake. “No, baby, it didn’t feel wrong.”

  I turned to Nash. He reached out and pushed my heavy hair back from my face, sending it spilling over my shoulder. “It didn’t feel wrong. Just the opposite.”

  Relief poured through me and I collapsed onto Gage’s chest. His arms got tighter as he cuddled me close, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I peeked out at Nash and extended an arm to loop across his waist, pulling him into the huddle.

  “Do you guys know of any other shifters who have more than one mate?”

  Nash shook his head and I could feel Gage’s voice rumble through him as he answered me. “No, baby.”

  I thought about it. Maybe we were unique.

  I snuggled further into Gage, my arm tightening around Nash, as the stress of the last few days and my long evening started to catch up with me. My last thought before I allowed the comfort, safety and warmth of being held in Nash and Gage’s arms to seep into me and lull me into sleep—I could live with being unique.

  Gage

  Macy got heavier in my arms as she drifted off, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as she found sleep. And nothing had ever felt as good as having her weight pressed against me, her scent filling my head and my lungs. I slid my nose along her temple, inhaling, taking her even deeper inside me. She burrowed even closer to me without waking.

  “Fuck me.” Nash’s clipped words popped the little bubble I’d been in for the last few minutes as I enjoyed every moment of having my mate in my arms.

  I slid my eyes to him. He sat sideways, one arm draped over Macy's waist, completing our odd little circle. He stared at her face, half hidden by her heavy fall of hair, as if his life depended on it.

  Judging by the words he just uttered, I don’t think I’d be far off in saying he did feel like his life depended on it. I knew I did. After holding her in my arms for just this little while, the thought she could be taken away from me shot a white-hot spike of pain through my gut.

  As she’d spoken before she drifted off, talking about how natural it felt to be here with both of us, I’d let myself hope. But as I held her, fear crept back in. How the hell would we make this work? I raked my gaze over her face, and knew we had to find a way. After having this, whatever this was, for barely minutes, I couldn’t imagine living without it ever again.

  I shot another look at Nash. The way his eyes drank her in, I’d have to say he felt the same way. God, why could nothing in our lives ever be easy?

  As if feeling my gaze, Nash tore his eyes from Macy’s face to look at me. I could see the same twist of emotions in his expression as I felt coiling through me.

  “What are you we going to do?” I asked.

  Nash’s jaw hardened. “I have no fucking idea.”

  He pulled his arm from Macy to run a hand over his face in frustration. But almost instantly he returned his hand to her back as if he couldn’t stand not having the physical connection with her.

  I couldn’t help my wry grin. I didn’t know how to react to my feelings about Macy. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to wallowing in the feeling of finally finding my mate and getting to hold her in my arms. I couldn’t in my wildest dreams have imagined that my mate was one of my best friend’s sisters. Or that another shifter from my den would claim her, too. Add the odd connection between Nash and I, and the whole thing had disaster written all over it.

  But at least I wasn’t in this cluster fuck alone. I shook my head. “I don’t think we’re going to get any of this figured out tonight. Why don’t we get her into bed? We can talk tomorrow.”

  As soon as I mentioned getting her into bed, Nash’s eyes dropped to her face once more. His nostrils flared and a muscle worked in his jaw as he fought for control. “She sleeps in our bed, with us.”

  I nodded. I hadn’t planned on anything different. Though I can’t say I looked forward to explaining to Macy why Nash and I had been sharing a bed.

  Definitely a disaster. I stood, sliding one arm under Macy’s ass, my other going around her back.

  As trustingly as a child, Macy hitched her legs around my waist, her arms tightening around my neck as I moved toward the bedroom with her.

  But that was the only thing that was child-like about her. The rest of her was all woman. Her full breasts pushed against my chest and her soft curves filled my arms in a way that made my mouth go dry and, although it seemed impossible, my dick get harder.

  When I got her to our bedroom, I laid her on the bed, and without saying a word Nash and I went to work. We pulled off her sneakers and socks, peeled down her jeans, and settled her back against the pillows. In minutes we had her positioned in the middle of our big bed wearing just her T-shirt and panties, the navy blue comforter tucked around her.

  “Fuck me,” Nash repeated.

  My eyes darted to him for just a secon
d before they returned to the vision in our bed. Nothing had ever looked as beautiful, as right, as Macy lying against the white pillows, her dark hair streaming across them. The only thing that would make it better would be us crawling in next to her.

  Nash must have had the same thought, as we both started stripping out of our clothes. In seconds we stood on either side of the bed, both of us down to our boxer briefs.

  I hesitated a second as I lifted the covers. My lips tightened as I noticed Nash pausing, too. It didn’t feel quite right sliding in beside Macy when she was sound asleep and had no say in the matter.

  His eyes met mine over the form of our sleeping mate.

  “You and I can’t sleep apart.” I gave him the reminder I knew he didn’t need. We’d tried it when we first moved home, sleeping in separate rooms. We quickly realized that didn’t work, as one or both of us would be plagued with nightmares, visions so vivid they followed us into our waking moments. We’d found the only way to keep the nightmares at bay was to share a bed.

  “And I’m sure as fuck not going to leave her out on the couch or in another room while the two of us sleep in here.” Nash’s words left him with a growl. And as if that cleared it all up, his hesitation left him. He lifted the covers and slid right in beside Macy.

  She gave out a small sound that made me ache to hold her. Without another thought, I mimicked Nash’s actions and in seconds found myself under the covers with my mate.

  Nash pulled her into his arms so her head pillowed on his shoulder and her front pressed firmly into his side. I moved in closer so that I spooned her from behind, my arm circling her waist to pull her in tightly against me.

  Heaven. For a long time I’d stopped believing there was such a place. I could believe in hell, though. I’d walked through it more than once the last few years.

  But having Macy in my arms and the comfort of my brother on her other side, I could feel myself believing again. The doubts about how the three of us could make this work fled as her body melted into mine.

  My bear settled down, content to have her safely tucked into us, and I decided I’d leave worrying about how to handle all of this for the morning. Nothing had ever felt this right.

  Thoughts about heaven and redemption and love and light tumbled with me into a deep sleep.

  Chapter 9

  Macy

  I woke up slowly, delicious heat seeping into my front and back. My eyes opened to the sight of a hard chest directly in front of me. I blinked, trying to clear the cobwebs of sleep. Awareness trickled in. I was definitely not home alone in my own bed.

  I tipped my chin up. A different kind of warmth filled me at the sight of Nash’s face. Asleep, I couldn’t say he looked completely relaxed. His eyebrows were drawn together slightly as if he was concentrating on something even in his sleep. But there was a little vulnerability in the softening of his jaw that wasn’t there in his waking moments.

  I wiggled to free a hand from where it rested trapped between our bodies. A set of arms tightened around my waist. A peek over my shoulder showed me a still asleep Gage. His rugged face for once free of its hard edges and sharp lines.

  The two men had me cradled between them, their arms holding me close. I snuggled more deeply into them, pushing my hips back toward Gage while skimming my hands up over Nash’s chest.

  If this was a dream, I hoped I stayed locked inside it for the rest of my life. For years I felt like I couldn’t show the people around me every part of me. My brothers’ protectiveness meant telling them everything about me could mean the end to some things that were important to me, the things that made me…well, me.

  Lying in the cradle of Nash and Gage’s bodies, I felt more protected than I’d ever been. But it didn’t come with the sense that part of me was being smothered. Quite the opposite.

  Last night I felt like they’d seen me. All of me. And accepted all the parts of me. And now, with that acceptance, along with the deep down instinctive knowledge that these two men belonged to me, I felt like I’d come home.

  Nothing had ever felt as good as being right there, right that moment. There was nowhere else on earth I’d rather be.

  Gage stirred behind me, burying his face in my hair. I snuggled back into him and he froze for an instant. Then his hands moved from where they were linked around my waist to my hips. He pulled me back into him, my backside fitting firmly into the cradle of his hips.

  “Mmm, morning, baby.” His voice was pure gravel, sending shivers through me.

  I turned to look at him over my shoulder.

  “Morning,” I whispered and sent him a soft smile. “Sorry I fell asleep on you guys last night.”

  Then I giggled as I recalled exactly where I was when I dozed off last night. I’d literally fell asleep on him.

  He rubbed his whisker-rough chin against my neck. “Anytime, Macy.”

  I giggled again and Nash shifted. I twisted back to find his amber eyes on me, intense and searching.

  “You okay, sweetheart?” His raspy morning voice matched Gage's beard-stubbled chin.

  I smiled up at him. “Very okay.”

  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my temple and then leaned his forehead against mine. “Good.”

  “Very good,” I whispered.

  A slow smile spread across his face, making my heart speed up.

  Gage, obviously not interested in being ignored, stroked a hand over my hair, shifting it off my shoulder. He pressed a kiss on the skin he’d bared. I let my eyes drift closed for a second, reveling in the feel of the two men holding me between them.

  And suddenly my bear woke up. She didn’t do it languorously, stretching and easing into my consciousness. No, she did it with a growl, going from hibernation to high alert in an instant. Only it wasn’t her prey instincts or her protective instincts kicking in. It was something entirely different.

  Without thought, without making a decision, I followed her lead and pressed my bottom more deeply into Gage’s lap. He groaned and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face in my neck. “You can’t do that, baby.”

  My eyes flew open and my bear roared at his words. I'd spent my life listening to the rules. I might have bent them a little, but more often than not, I went along to keep the peace. My music had always been the one reason I broke them.

  Until now.

  Now I listened to my bear's urging, wiggling my ass against Gage until I felt his hardness pressing back against me. Not wanting to leave Nash out of it, I lifted my chin and nipped his earlobe. I followed with a soothing swipe of my tongue and began to press warm kisses against his jawline.

  Nash froze, one arm beneath me and the other locked in place over my waist, almost overlapping with Gage's.

  “Macy,” he growled.

  My only answer was to lean the top of my body forward, pressing my breasts against his chest. His hand moved from my waist and he dug his fingers into the hair at my temple. He used his hold to tilt my face up to his. “Macy, we should talk about this.”

  But I didn’t want to talk. I was done talking. I felt like I’d waited my whole life for this moment. And I was done waiting. Every instinct in my body was pushing me to claim my mates in the most primal way.

  “After,” I said, pushing back into Gage as I reached up to press my lips against Nash’s.

  And that was all it took. In an instant he was kissing me back. This was no searching, slow building kiss like he’d given me last night. This kiss demanded I open to him. I answered by parting my lips and giving him access to plunge his tongue inside to tease and taste and tempt.

  “I hate to break this up.” Gage’s voice came low and husky from behind me. “But Nash is right Macy, we need to talk about this before it goes any farther.”

  I ripped my lips from Nash’s, panting as I fought to catch my breath. I wriggled and twisted between the two big bodies until I maneuvered around completely. One of my legs twisted with Nash’s legs and the other slid up, hitching over Gage’s hip.
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br />   “I don’t want to talk anymore,” I whispered. “I’ve waited forever for you two.” I pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “I’m not giving you the chance to talk me out of this, Gage. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than I want the two of you. I know it’s unusual. I know we have a lot to talk about. But nothing either of you says is going to keep me from wanting this. And the only thing I might regret is letting go of the opportunity we have right here and right now.”

  Gage’s dark eyes drilled into mine. He held my gaze for long seconds as I held my breath. His eyes shifted to look over my shoulder.

  “You’re sure?” Nash asked.

  Gage’s eyes returned to mine and I held his stare. I clasped my hand tight on Nash’s. “I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am of this.”

  Gage growled and dipped his head and captured my mouth with his. His kiss was deep and wet and I felt it from my lips and all through my body, the heat of it spreading faster than wildfire.

  Nash bent and spread kisses over my shoulder and along my neck, his teeth scraping enticingly against my skin before he used the tip of his tongue to taste.

  Gage pulled his mouth from mine and I almost cried out at the loss. He treated me to another one of his intense, searching stares as Nash’s hand stroked up and down my arm.

  “Gage,” I demanded on an almost-whine, desperate to have his mouth on mine again, his body pressed against me.

  He flashed a quick grin before he brought he kissed me.

  Nash shifted behind me and as his heat moved away, I moaned in protest into Gage’s mouth. But I didn’t have to worry. Nash eased himself up, adjusting the pillows so he could recline against the headboard. He slid me up, pulling my mouth from Gage’s. I almost fought against his hold at the loss, but I wanted to feel Nash against me again as much as I wanted Gage’s mouth.

  Nash eased me into his arms, his legs spreading to make space for me. His hands brushed over my bare thighs, and it suddenly occurred to me I was only wearing my T-shirt and panties. But when Nash’s hands slid up to my stomach, I had no time to think about it, lost in the feel of his large hands against my skin.