“What?” She grunted through the solid wood. There was the sound of scuffling inside, and the door swung open to reveal a smiling Megan. Her face was still streaked with mascara but she looked much happier than she had twenty minutes ago.
“Hello girls,” I said with a grin. “We’re throwing a party for Megan tonight, tell me what kind of drinks I should go buy.”
Chapter Five
Leda
“The fuck we are!” I yelped. “We can’t have a party! It’s a Sunday!”
“Leda, come on,” Megan whined. She tugged at my arm and looked up at me with puppy eyes. “Please!” She dragged out the word, making it about three syllables long. I looked at Stratton, who was grinning wolfishly.
“Yeah, Leda,” he teased. “Come on, please!”
“I’m kicking everyone out if it gets too late,” I said pointedly. “And you have to clean up.”
Stratton held up his hands. “It’ll be so much fun that you’ll be begging to help clean,” he said with a wink. I buried my face in my hands.
“You are the worst,” I mumbled. Stratton strode away whistling and Megan tugged my hands loose.
“Leda, this’ll be great!” She said, looking back to her normal perky self. “What a good idea, that’s exactly what I need right now.”
I frowned at her. “Isn’t what you need some rest and relaxation, and a long talk about whether or not Tyler is going to meet your needs?”
She glared at me. “Stop being so serious, for once in your life!” Megan sounded exasperated and I rolled my eyes. “Just try to relax and have fun, Leda. It won’t kill you.”
“It very well may,” I replied archly. Megan narrowed her eyes at me but didn’t say anything. She crossed my room and opened both closet doors, rifling through everything and tossing pieces of clothing on the ground. I took a deep breath and tried to stop cringing every time I saw something clean crumpled on the floor.
“I’m going to get a drink,” I told her. “You pick something to wear.”
Stratton was waiting for me in the kitchen. He grinned. “What do you think, eh? Genius idea to help her get back on her feet?”
I glared. “Stratton, this is a serious breakup,” I said. “They were going to get engaged. She doesn’t need to be acting wild right now. She needs time to heal, alone.”
Stratton wagged his finger at me. His blue eyes were twinkling, and I had to tear my eyes away from his gorgeous face. There was a hint of stubble around his jaw and I shivered, thinking about how it would feel on my skin if he were to kiss me.
“She needs a party, Leda,” Stratton said in a cheerful tone. “She’s not like you. She actually enjoys being around other people.”
“I like being around people,” I protested. Stratton burst out laughing. He stepped closer to me and my heart started to thud in my chest.
“Do you?” There was a hint of a coy smile on his lips. I bit my lower lip nervously. Stratton’s blue eyes stared into mine. “Sometimes, I don’t think you like being around me, Leda,” he said softly.
“I do,” I replied, my voice shaking. We hadn’t been this close together since our botched attempt at sex the other night. Stratton was wearing some kind of woodsy cologne and it washed over my senses. I closed my eyes. My heart was racing and I knew my breath was coming in little bursts. Stratton’s fingers touched my arm and stroked my bare skin. I heard him swallow and instinctively tilted my head up, ready for a kiss.
“Leda,” Stratton whispered. “Why can’t you act like this in front of other people?”
I opened my eyes wide. Stratton was so close that I could have stuck out my tongue and licked him. “Why do you have to be such an ass?” I asked him quietly. “It’s like you provoke me on purpose.”
“I like you,” Stratton said with a grin. “And you’re my wife, after all.”
A hot red flush rose over my necks and cheeks. “Shush!” I whispered loudly. “Someone could hear you!”
Stratton grinned and shrugged. “It’s not like anyone would believe me,” he said. I watched with baited breath, still half expecting him to kiss me. Instead, Stratton rocked back on the balls of his feet and eyed me. “Sometimes, I don’t even believe it myself,” he added.
I recoiled as if stung. “Fine,” I snapped. “Throw your goddamn party.”
Four hours later, the house was pulsing with music and people. Stratton, true to his word, had gone out to the liquor store and come home with a keg and a cardboard box full of bottles. Megan set out plastic cups and mixers and reluctantly, I threw together some bagel chips and hummus. The last thing I wanted was people drinking too much and throwing up in the house.
“Leda, this is great,” one of our other roommates, Ethan, told me. He was dangling over the edge of the couch with a drink precariously clutched in one hand. I watched as a few drops of something sticky fell onto the floor from his cup.
“Thanks,” I muttered. “Thank Stratton, really.”
Ethan grinned. “He has the best ideas. Those Germans are like, born knowing how to party.”
I rolled my eyes. “Indeed,” I said finally. Megan was sitting in the center of the room with some guys around her. I walked over and perched on the couch. She grinned at me and I could smell the alcohol wafting off her breath.
“Heya,” she greeted me, opening her eyes wide. “Feeling better?”
“I’m fine,” I said shortly. “How are you? You seem to be doing much better.”
“Tyler sucks,” she said loudly. Some of the guys grouped around us started laughing. “He doesn’t care about me,” she continued, her voice still too loud for indoors. “He doesn’t wanna marry me!”
“That’s because no guy ever wants to get married,” one of Megan’s friends cracked. I blushed again, thinking of Stratton.
“I’m gonna go look for Stratton,” Megan said suddenly. She stood up and splashed her drink down the front of her dress. A wet stain formed over her breasts. One of the guys leered at her and quickly, I grabbed her elbow and guided her down the hall.
“Megan, I know you’re upset,” I began nervously, chewing on my lower lip. She gave me a petulant look. “But this isn’t really the time to do this. Maybe you should go lie down.”
“Maybe you should stop being such a buzzkill,” Megan replied. She laughed and I felt my throat close up. I knew that she probably didn’t mean it, but it still stung. Between the way she was acting and my conversation with Stratton earlier, it felt like Make Leda Cry Day.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I just don’t want you to regret anything in the morning.”
“At least I have choices to regret,” Megan said archly. She pushed past me and staggered down the hallway, calling Stratton’s name. I was surprised to see him come out of his room with rimless glasses perched on his nose. There was a paper in his hand, and I realized he must have been studying.
“Stratton,” Megan called again in her most flirtatious voice. “Come and sit with me in the living room.”
I watched as he tried not to grin at her drunken mannerisms. “I’m studying, Megan,” he said politely. “Are you enjoying your party?”
Megan pouted. “I wanna hang out with you,” she said. I shook my head and took her by the elbow again.
“Stratton’s got a lot of work to do.” I tried to make my voice as non-patronizing as possible, but Megan still glared at me. “Do you want to go sit down?”
She slumped against the wall, thumping her head with a loud crack. Stratton jumped forward and caught her in his arms, gently laying her down on the floor. A few seconds later, there was the unmistakable sound of snoring. From down the hallway, the party was still going in full swing.
“Shit,” Stratton muttered. “Did she hurt herself?”
I quickly combed through her hair. “I’m not seeing any blood,” I told him. “But I think she’ll have a bruise. Can you help me carry her into my room?”
Stratton nodded and picked Megan up as if she weighed nothing at all. He deftly w
alked into my room and deposited her gently on the bed, arranging the pillows underneath of her.
“We have to keep her on her side,” he instructed. “So if she get sick, she won’t choke.”
I made a face at the idea of someone besides me puking in my bed. “Okay,” I replied, nodding.
Stratton smiled at me wryly. “She really cut back, huh?”
“She wanted desperately to go flirt with you,” I said dryly. “She practically sprinted down the hall towards your room.”
Stratton gave me a heart-stoppingly gorgeous smile. “The ladies love me,” he said with a grin. “Except for you, Leda.”
The idea of him using the word love so close to my name made my heart skip a beat. I looked away, not wanting him to see me flush.
“Leda,” Stratton said softly. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”
I shook my head. “No, I know that sometimes I can be a total bitch,” I said quietly. “Sometimes it’s easier to do that than to be nice.”
Stratton gave me a concerned look and I felt some of the ice around my heart melt away. He sat down on the end of the bed and I sat down on the floor, looking up at him. For the second time that day, we were close enough to kiss.
“Why don’t you try harder?” He suggested in a gentle voice. “You can’t hide yourself away forever, Leda. You’re going to regret being so closed-off.”
I sighed. “It’s hard to explain,” I told him honestly. Every time I looked at Stratton’s face, the obvious concern made me feel guilty for having thought that he was such an asshole. I looked down at the floor and picked a piece of fuzz off of the carpet. “I wasn’t always like this. I had a boyfriend in college that I spent almost all of my time with. We were so close; he was my best friend.”
Stratton nodded. “I had a love like that,” he said. “What happened with yours?”
Unexpectedly, the idea of Stratton having “a love” sent a bolt of jealousy flashing through me. It was hot and ugly, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing it away.
“We were too close,” I said finally. “I don’t really know how else to say it. It became so that like, the only thing in my life that mattered was him and my classes. I didn’t have any other friends. I couldn’t bear to spend more than an hour away from him or it would make me too depressed.”
Stratton raised an eyebrow. “No offense, Leda,” he said slowly. “But that’s really hard to imagine.”
“I know,” I replied. “Trust me, why do you think it was such a bad situation?” Without waiting for him to answer, I continued: “We spent all of our time together and I felt totally dependent on him. It made me really uncomfortable when I no longer felt like I had an identity. And then, he started pulling away and it made me feel horrible. The more space he wanted, the harder I dug my nails in. And then I found some girl’s underwear in the backseat of his car.”
Stratton gaped at me. “What a shit,” he scoffed. “I’m glad you’re not with this guy anymore.”
I blushed. “It was a bad breakup,” I said slowly. “It took a long time for me to get over him.”
“What was his name?”
“Matthew. Matthew Reynolds.”
Stratton laughed. “The name even makes him sound like a boring prick! But how funny, my ex also has an ‘M’ name. Her name is Miriam.”
I narrowed my eyes. “That sounds like an old lady,” I said, biting my lower lip.
Stratton burst out laughing. He took his phone from his pocket and scrolled through before handing it over for me to view. The girl in the image was stunningly beautiful—a petite blonde girl with bright green eyes and a perfect little Marilyn birthmark right above her lip. She was laughing at something and her lithe body was turned towards the camera. My heart lodged in my chest.
“She’s beautiful,” I admitted. “What happened?”
Stratton sighed. He put his phone back in his pocket and scratched at his chin with one hand. “She wanted to get married,” he said finally. “And I wanted to go to school in America.”
Chapter Six
Leda
I couldn’t stop thinking about Miriam, Stratton’s ex. I knew it was crazy to be jealous of someone who wasn’t even around anymore, but after he told me about her, I felt so inadequate. Of course Stratton would only date someone who was equal to him, in both beauty and intelligence. After he’d shown me her picture, he’d told me that she’d gone to college for computer science and now worked as a programmer with the United Nations in Geneva. And of course she spoke French and had studied abroad in Paris her junior year. And of course they’d had a romantic vacation together in Cap d’Antibes.
Megan’s snoring on the bed brought me out of my daze. I watched as a strand of drool transferred itself from her lip to the comforter. I knew she would feel like absolute shit in the morning and I felt bad, but dealing with drunk friends was never a favorite past time of mine. Being completely intoxicated in public was always something that frightened me; I never found the idea fun, like many of my peers.
Outside my room, the party raged on. I was thirsty but I didn’t want to risk going in the kitchen and leaving Megan by herself. And if I was being truly honest, I didn’t really want to talk to anyone else, either. My phone pinged with a new email. Great, I thought. Probably something for class tomorrow that I forgot.
But the email wasn’t from any of my professors. It was from an address I didn’t recognize, and the subject line was: “Leda – read this, please.”
A knot of apprehension formed in my stomach as I opened the email and read:
“Dear Leda,
I wish I could say I’d planned to do this, but after some liquid courage in the way of Scotch, here I am.”
Oh, god, I thought. It’s Matthew. I kept reading:
“I want to apologize for all of the hurt and all of the pain I caused you when we split up. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind for the past year and a half, and I’ve wanted to reach out so many times. I’m living in California now, and I miss Virginia very much. I also miss you very much.
Leda, when we parted ways, it wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t a good idea for us to break up, although I understand now that you must have had your reasons.”
I narrowed my eyes. Reasons? Of course I had reasons, you twit, I thought. You cheated on me!
“Leda, I’m sorry this is coming so late. There’s a lot I have to tell you that I didn’t share at the time. Back when we were together, we spent all of our time together. I don’t have to tell you that; I know you know, as it was one of the many things you cited when we broke up. I felt so close to you that I was beginning to feel smothered, and I wanted a way out. Not from you, because I’ve always loved you, but from the relationship. It was confining me in a way that I wasn’t used to.
At the beginning of our senior year, my grandmother got sick with cancer. I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t have stood your pity; it would have just wrecked me. I couldn’t have anyone feeling bad for me because I was already feeling so guilty myself. I believed it was my fault. If I hadn’t moved away to college and abandoned her, she wouldn’t have gotten sick. I know how ridiculous that sounds now, but at the time, it was absolutely devastating to me. I felt that I had wronged her, and everyone else in my life, by being with you. I felt like all of the love I was giving to you should have been shared more equally with my family members. I know that you’ll hate me for saying this, but we were so absorbed with each other that there was room for little else. I was equally guilty, and I realize that now.
My grandmother died, and I still didn’t tell you. I was embarrassed that you’d be angry with me for not telling you sooner, and the window for sharing grew smaller and smaller as more time went by. I hated myself for that, and I started to resent you for always being there for me, no matter how badly I treated you, Leda. I hate myself for that now. I hate myself for a lot of things that I’ve done, but none of them were as bad as hurting you and freezing you out the way I did.
&nb
sp; When I hooked up with Amelia, I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt scared; you were pressuring me into marriage, and I felt that no matter what I said, nothing deterred you. I know you felt it was the next logical step for us because we were in love and we spent all of our time together. But Leda, I was so frightened of even more commitment when I felt like our commitment was what ruined us in the first place.
If I had to go back in time, I would have said yes. I would have bought you a ring. I would have proposed. I regret that I didn’t, and now I worry that I’ve lost you forever.
Amelia and I have split up, and we are no longer planning to be wed. Leda, I would love to see you. Please, please tell me if there’s any hope. If I had to start over again, it would just be us, the right way. We wouldn’t let anything come between us, and we wouldn’t get too involved that we’d forget our lives. You would enjoy a wonderful career, as would I, and we’d share our triumphs. We’d share our failures, we’d share our lives. Leda, I love you.
BAD BOY ROMANCE: DIESEL: Contemporary Bad Boy Biker MC Romance (Box Set) (New Adult Sports Romance Short Stories Boxset) Page 135