And I want you back.
Yours forever,
Matthew”
My head was spinning, and there were tears in my eyes. I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming, and cried out when it actually hurt. I couldn’t believe that Matthew had gotten in touch after all of this time. After the breakup, things just felt so final. I figured the next time I’d hear from him, he’d be inviting me to his wedding as a gesture of goodwill.
As I stared at the screen, my heart jumped into my throat. It felt so good to have someone pay attention to me like this, to grovel at my feet and beg forgiveness. Sure, Matthew was kind of an asshole. But I’d loved him for years. Wouldn’t it be a waste to throw that all away now?
Stratton wasn’t even in my mind as I typed out a quick reply:
“Matthew,
This is a lot to say in one email; are you sure it wasn’t just the Scotch talking?
I’d like to catch up. I’m sorry for banality, but I feel as though anything I say won’t live up right now.
Call me tomorrow and we’ll talk. My number’s still the same.
Leda”
Satisfied, I flopped down on the bed next to Megan. Her snoring had slowed into a regular, dull breathing. My thoughts were swimming around in my brain much too fast for me to sleep, but I knew I could lie there and relax. While the party raged outside, I closed my eyes and thought about the last time I’d seen Matthew…
“Leda? Are you okay?”
“No,” I said through sobs. “Why couldn’t you just tell me? Why couldn’t you just tell me that you wanted this to be over, us to be over?”
Matthew looked at me, his brown eyes pleading. “I’m sorry, Leda,” he repeated, burying his face in his hands. “I was a coward, and a fool.”
I nodded. “You forgot cheating scum,” I spat as I felt my body overcome with sobs. “Why? Why, Matthew? Are you in love with her? Do you want to leave me, so you can be with Amelia?”
Matthew hung his head. “I can’t lie to you anymore,” he said finally. “And I can’t marry you, I’m sorry.”
“Like I would wanna marry someone who cheats on me!” I yelled, covering my face with my hands. “Fuck you, Matthew!”
He looked up at me sadly as I turned on my heel and walked away. The whole walk home, I was praying he would come up behind me and hold me, or grab my shoulder, or yell my name. Anything. But he never appeared, and I made it home alone.
That night I didn’t sleep; all I could think about was Matthew, and how I wished I were dead. The humiliation was too much to bear; soon everyone would know me as Leda, the girl who couldn’t even bully her boyfriend into marrying her. That wasn’t ever how I’d wanted to be known, and my cheeks burned with shame when I thought of how petty and manipulative I’d acted during our relationship together. No wonder he cheated on me with Amelia. No wonder he didn’t want to marry me. Who would want to marry someone like me, all bristle and snark?
It was almost satisfying now to realize that someone had, in fact, wanted to marry me. Someone who most people would call a lot more gorgeous than Matthew, and smarter, too. I’d come out on top, but I still felt miserable. I longed for a partner who understood me and shared the same qualities I did. No matter how I felt about Stratton, it wasn’t as though we were exactly friends. We may have believed the same things, but we had next to nothing else in common.
“Hey,” Megan’s voice was sleepy and blurred. “What’s going on, where am I?”
“You’re in my bed,” I said quietly. “We had a party and you had a little too much to drink. Do you want some water?”
Megan moaned and put her face in her hands. “Tyler dumped me,” she wailed. “I’m sorry if I messed up, Leda.”
I reached forward and ruffled her messy hair. “You’re fine,” I lied. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone drinks too much sometimes.”
Megan rolled onto her back and shielded her eyes from the moonlight penetrating the room. “Can you get me some water, please?” She asked. When I didn’t move, she whined again. “I love you, Leda,” she called out. “Thanks for always taking care of me.”
When I returned with her glass, I almost expected to find Megan asleep once more. Instead, she was sitting up on the bed and looking surprisingly lucid for someone who had done over five shots of tequila.
“Hey,” she said, smiling shyly at me. “I’m really sorry. I think I was a real bitch to you last night.”
I shrugged. “You were upset,” I said. “I get it. But yeah, you kinda were. What happened with Tyler?”
Megan rolled her eyes. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “I think it’s over for real this time. I just feel so done with him right now.”
I nodded, thinking of men in general. “I get that,” I said slowly. “Trust me, it’s not hard to imagine.
“I mean, why do we spend our lives waiting for them?” Megan looked at me critically. Despite how awake she seemed, there was still a hint of slur in her voice. “It should be the other way around. We grow up first, and then we spend years waiting for some asshole to give us a diamond.”
I glanced down at my left hand, ringless. It would have felt weird to wear a ring in my sham marriage to Stratton, but my hand felt kind of naked without one. Maybe I’d compromise and buy something for the right hand, just so I didn’t ever forget. Like that could happen, I thought, rolling my eyes. He’s on my mind almost all day long.
“It’s dumb,” I said lamely. Megan eyed me.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine, just distracted.”
“Did something happen?” She gulped half of the water in the glass and swallowed loudly, wiping her chin.
I was almost tempted not to tell her, but the idea of keeping another huge secret from my supposed best friend didn’t sit well with me.
“Matthew emailed me,” I said lamely. “I don’t even know what he wants.”
She eyed me. “He and Amelia broke up,” she replied. “I saw on Facebook.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wrinkled my nose at her. “Didn’t you think I’d want to know?”
Megan looked at me. “Not really,” she admitted. A blush crept up her neck. “Not after you freaked out when I told you they were getting married. I didn’t want to bring it up.”
I scowled. “You’re probably right,” I said softly. “But he apologized for everything, and told me he wanted to try again.”
Megan bit her lip. “Is that a good idea?”
I frowned. “Why can’t you take my side on this? Don’t you want to see me happy?”
“Of course I do,” she gushed. “But you weren’t happy with him, not at all.”
“How do you think I felt when you talked about marrying Tyler?” I snapped. “You’re miserable half the time with him, too.”
Megan recoiled as though I’d slapped her. “Whatever,” she mumbled. “I’m going back to sleep.” I watched as she drained the rest of the water in her glass and set it down on the nightstand. She eyed me before flopping back down.
“I’m sorry,” I said weakly. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just going through some crap right now.”
“Bullshit, Leda,” she snapped. “You heard from your ex and it turns your world upside down, but I’m not allowed to go to pieces because a three-year relationship is over? That’s not fair. I’m sick of you being so judgmental.”
Her words stung, and I couldn’t find the right thing to say in response. She stared at me for a few minutes before rolling over and facing the wall. I got up and paced a few times, then opened the door and walked down the hallway.
“Stratton?” I called, rapping on his door. “Are you in there?”
Chapter Seven
Leda
I was just starting to feel like an idiot when the door swung open. Stratton stood there clad only in soccer shorts. I was eye-level with one of the biggest tattoos on his bronze chest, a big cross. As usual the sight of him made me feel weak in the knees.
“Can I help
you?” He gave me an amused smirk. I rolled my eyes.
“Can I come in for a while? If you’re studying, I’ll read or something.”
He shook his head. “I was trying to sleep, but yeah, come in.”
Ignoring my feeble protests, Stratton gently took hold of my wrist and pulled me into his bedroom. Before I knew what was happening, he wrapped both of his arms around me. His skin felt hot and flushed from lying in bed and it was soothing to be enveloped in his spicy, smoky scent.
“Why don’t you lie down with me,” he whispered. “We’ll try to relax, okay?”
I nodded stiffly and allowed myself to be guided over to the bed. Stratton climbed in closest to the wall and held out the comforter for me to join him. After a moment of hesitation, I pulled off my sweater and jeans. Clad only in my bra and panties, I crawled into bed and let him wrap his arms around me. Stratton’s bed was warm and soft and everything smelled like him; it was like an instant way to relax. I closed my eyes and felt goose bumps on my skin as he stroked my bare back.
“Can I kiss you?” Stratton whispered. I nodded wordlessly and all of a sudden, his warm mouth was on mine. He tasted of mint and I could catch the faint hint of beer on the back of his breath. But kissing him already felt familiar, and I relaxed my mouth as his tongue slipped between my lips. The way Stratton was gently nibbling and sucking on my lower lip was driving me crazy and I moaned softly into his mouth. Stratton slipped his hands further down my back and gently squeezed my bottom. My nerve endings tingled and my whole body started to warm up. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer, luxuriating in the feel of our skin pressed together. He was smooth and soft and almost hairless except for a blonde down that stood out on his tanned skin.
“This feels good,” I whispered, breaking the kiss. My breath was coming in damp, shallow bursts and I could feel the condensation against Stratton’s skin. Gently, he dragged his nails down my spine. I moaned loudly and pressed myself against him.
“There are a lot of people in the house, Leda,” Stratton whispered teasingly. “You better be quiet if you don’t want them to hear.”
Somehow, the idea of us making love quietly while the rest of the house partied was an incredible turn-on. A warm spring of pleasure was coiling in my lower belly and I pressed myself even closer. Our hips were snugly fitted together, and I could feel Stratton’s hard erection poking me through his shorts. A delicious pulse of pleasure radiated through my body when I thought of how it would feel for him to penetrate me for the first time. I shivered in Stratton’s arms and he reached up and tangled his hands through my hair, rubbing my scalp. It felt incredible and I rolled my head around in his hands, moaning gently. It had been so long since anyone had touched me so lovingly, and slowly I felt all of the negativity and anger inside me begin to fade.
When Stratton pulled his hands away, I almost started whining for him to pet me again. But when I realized that he was trailing them down my chest, I tensed up and held my breath. Stratton looked up at me with a grin as he slid them down over my breasts, caressing my stiff nipples through the cotton fabric of my bra. Spasms of pleasure shot through me and I threw my head back, writhing on the bed. With deft fingers, Stratton reached around and unhooked my bra with a single pinch. It fell away from my skin and eagerly, I pulled the straps off my arms and tossed it on the floor. Stratton stared at my naked chest for a minute, making me blush.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, dipping his head and kissing my breasts. I whimpered when I felt his teeth bite me gently. Stratton’s other hand traced down my bare belly and slipped between my legs. I gasped when I felt his fingers over my delicate and swollen flesh. He let out a low chuckle and teasingly stroked his thumb across the crotch of my panties. When he made contact with my most sensitive area, I gasped loudly. My heart was pounding with desire and as he began to suck on my nipples, I was aware of myself grinding against his fingers.
Stratton looked at me expectantly and I nodded. He slipped his fingers inside my panties and gently tugged them down my legs. I kicked them off as Stratton began to stroke the insides of my bare thigh with his fingertips. It was the lightest of light touches and it was driving me absolutely insane. Desperately, I wriggled back and forth on the bed, trying to make contact with his hand. Stratton chuckled again and came close to kiss me. When I slipped my hand down his chest and paused over the front of his shorts, Stratton gasped. He grabbed my hand with one of his and eagerly pressed it to his erection. When I felt how thick he was, I blushed. Stratton used my hand to stroke himself up and down through the material, groaning and grunting as I pleasured him. His free hand came dangerously close to my labia and I shivered, spreading my legs and moaning.
Stratton got to his knees and pulled down his shorts, tossing them on the floor. His massive erection bobbed free and I blushed again, thinking of him sliding inside of me. I could feel how wet I was, but I wasn’t ready for him to stop touching me. I smiled at him and bit my lower lip nervously. Stratton grinned and slipped his hand between my legs, pushing into me and making me gasp. The coil of pleasure in my belly tightened as he stroked over my most sensitive nub of flesh. Leaning down to kiss me again, he crawled between my legs.
“Do you have a condom?” I whispered.
Stratton nodded. He leaned over me and reached into the nightstand, coming back with a foil-wrapped packet. I watched as he ripped it open with his teeth and sheathed his erection in a thin layer of latex. A stab of nervousness hit me in the belly as he was positioning himself between my legs; I hadn’t had sex in so long. What if it was terrible?
“Leda,” Stratton said in a quiet voice. I nodded and he crawled closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. “Tell me if you are not enjoying yourself, okay?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly, blushing. “It’s just been a long time.”
“I understand,” Stratton said. He leaned down and gave me a brief kiss. Pulling me closer, I could feel the head of his manhood poking at me. It felt incredible and I spread my legs wide and moaned as he slipped inside. He was so massive that I felt him fill every inch of me, and when he’d slid all the way inside, he groaned and rested his hands on my hips. His pubic bone was pressed against my clit and as he began to rock back and forth, waves of pleasure flooded my body. Gently, we moved together in a sensual rhythm. Stratton’s hands were all over my body, stroking and caressing me as we made quiet love on his bed. I closed my eyes and gave myself over completely to the sensations pushing through me. It felt so amazing; it was though Stratton and I were perfect together from the beginning. There was none of the usual awkwardness that comes with sleeping someone new, instead it felt as though we’d been making love all of our lives.
I wrapped my arms around Stratton’s shoulders and pulled him so close that our foreheads were touching. He was thrusting in and out of me even faster now and the stimulation was almost too much to bear. Shocks of pleasure spasmed through my body and I ground my hips against his, desperate for even more contact. Stratton groaned and closed his eyes. He dug his fingers deep into my flesh and squeezed. It was almost painful, but the sensation mixed with the pleasure from his thrusts was incredible. I felt my breath coming in short bursts as my body started to swell. Before I knew it, I was screwing my eyes shut and moaning loudly, clutching Stratton close to me and grinding against him with wild abandon. My body felt as though it was filled with electricity and I let the spasms tear through me, moaning loudly with each one. Stratton grabbed my hips and rode me hard as his erection pulsed inside of me. He let out a groan and shivered, collapsing on top of me.
I was exhausted, and after we untangled ourselves from each other, I curled up against Stratton’s chest. He wrapped an arm around me and we closed our eyes. As I was drifting off to sleep, I heard him whisper: “Now you’re really my wife.”
“I love you,” I said sleepily.
“What?” Stratton’s voice was more alert than it had been a second ago.
I bolted up in
bed and opened my eyes wide. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “That slipped out, I didn’t-“
Stratton held his hand up to silence me. “It’s fine, Leda,” he said. He sounded uncomfortable and I slipped out of his bed and started pulling my clothes on.
“I’m gonna go,” I said quietly, shame burning my cheeks. This time, Stratton didn’t try to stop me.
Chapter Eight
Leda
I barely slept that night. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid as to blurt out my feelings for Stratton like that. It was probably one of the dumbest things I’d ever done. At least I know now, I thought numbly. I felt like an idiot for ever having the idea that Stratton actually had feelings for me. Obviously, I was just another pawn to him in his scheme to get ahead.
BAD BOY ROMANCE: DIESEL: Contemporary Bad Boy Biker MC Romance (Box Set) (New Adult Sports Romance Short Stories Boxset) Page 136