Over My Head

by Marie Lamba

  “Well, she did a good job,” I say. “Jackie, I love your dress.” She’s wearing a peacock blue dress with a wide frilly skirt. “It looks vintage.”

  “It is. I got this from the thrift shop. Can you believe it? I wish we could dress like this all the time.”

  I smile and scan the room for Cameron. No sign of him. I step outside to the dance floor. No Cameron. I hug myself. He’ll be here. It’ll be okay.

  “So how is he?”

  I turn to Dalton, surprised he’s at my side. Surprised he’s asking. “He’s great.”

  “So he’s doing better with the chemo?”

  Oh. Right. Taoji. “Actually, he’s not great. But he’s hanging in there. Thanks for asking.”

  “No problem. You look really nice tonight.”

  “You too.” We share one of our dimple-smiles. “I’m so glad we’re back to being friends.”

  “Dalton? There you are,” Jackie says, her brows furrowed. “I think we should find a table. Don’t you?”

  “Have fun,” I say as Jackie grabs his arm and steers him away. I wander through the garden, passing a metal sculpture of a woman herding a lamb.

  Where is he?

  Ahead there are some benches, where Raina and Gary are sitting and talking. She looks relaxed and happy.

  I head back toward the dance floor. Megan lunges at me and pulls me aside. “Where are they? What if David comes with that Liselle and I’m here all alone?”

  “So what? Look at you in this clingy black lace dress. You’re smoking.”

  “What will Liselle wear? Probably clear plastic wrap. I can’t do this.” She strangles my arm. “I have to get out of here. Before he comes.”

  I pry off her hands. “We’re in this together, okay? Just stick by me. The guys will come. They will.” I swallow hard.

  “You better be right. I’ve got to eat something. You know how hungry I get when I’m nervous. Come on, let’s see if the buffet is open.”

  We go into the main room and find a long table with those little metal serving dishes on stands over flames. The flames are lit, but the lids are still over the food. She lifts one of the lids. “Rice. Not good.” She lifts another. “Some kind of sauce. Do you see any spoons? I need a spoon.”

  I look around. Only the giant serving spoons are in sight. Megan picks one up. “Megan, come on.”

  “Fine.” She sets the spoon down and lifts the next lid. “Ah. Finger food.” She reaches in and plucks out a tiny meatball dripping with gravy.

  “News flash,” I say. “That is not a finger food. Not unless you’ve got a toothpick.” A blob of gravy drips onto the rug. “And a napkin.”

  “Tough.” Megan plops the meatball into her mouth and licks her fingers. Suddenly her eyes grow super-wide. And so do mine as I realize what’s just happened. Megan, ultra animal-rights, save the planet, vegetarian Megan, is eating meat. She grabs a cloth napkin and spits the meatball into it. “UGH!” She wipes her hand across her mouth. “I can’t believe I did that. See how nervous I am?”

  “About what?” Stan asks. He’s with Cameron and they’re both wearing tan slacks, white shirts, dark blue blazers, and red ties, like it’s a uniform. But they both look nice. Especially Cameron.

  “You made it,” I say, trying to sound light-hearted.

  “What did you expect?” He takes my hand and looks me up and down. “Babe, you are beautiful.”

  All I can do is make this ridiculous tee-hee sound.

  Stan says, “Megan, you’re hot. How about me?” He spreads his arms. “Huh? I clean up pretty good, don’t I? And check this out.” He turns around, pulls up his blazer, and wiggles his butt. “See? I brought my can.” Stan faces her again. “And just to straighten things out with my old buddy Cameron here, you did say I have a really nice can. Not that I was a can. Am I right?”

  “Uh,” Megan says. “Right. What you just said. Right.” She stuffs the napkin behind a chafing dish and slides the lid back over the meatball dish. “God, I can’t believe I almost ate that.”

  “What’d you have?” Stan asks.

  “Those balls. Not balls. That sounds bad. I mean it is a ball. It’s made of meat. Not that kind of meat.” She crosses her eyes in humiliation.

  The music starts up outside with a throbbing beat. I take Cameron’s hand. “Let’s dance.”

  “Oh yeah,” Stan says, bopping his head to the beat.

  We join the others out on the dance floor. Cameron is a great dancer. But then again, what isn’t he great at? He peels off his jacket and drops it on a chair. He rolls up his sleeves and loosens his tie. On the other side of the floor, I see Gary and Raina dancing away.

  Stan is one of those super serious dancers. He’s working up a sweat and grinding Megan, who keeps dancing away from him. Next thing you know, he’s got his jacket and tie off and his shirt unbuttoned to practically his navel. Megan dances past me. Stan is hot on her trail, seemingly happy with the chase.

  I get close to Cameron. I smile and reach my hand up to his face. He reaches in his pants pocket, pulls out his cell, and flips it open. “Sorry. I’ll be right back,” he shouts over the music. He walks away from the dance floor toward the back of the garden, talking on his phone. I join Monique and some other friends in a dance-off, each one of us doing a more ridiculous move than the next. When it’s my turn, I moonwalk and do some stupid robotic thing with my arms, and I come to a halt. Megan is grinding with Stan and looks completely into him. I cock my head robot-style, wondering why. Then I figure it out fast.

  On the edge of the dance floor, hands tucked tightly beneath his armpits, is David. He’s wearing white Chucks, nice black pants, a lime-green Ninja Turtles T-shirt, and a tie with a snowman on it. He’s staring at Megan and Stan so intently, I half expect laser beams to shoot from his eyes, and for Megan and Stan to explode, leaving behind only a bit of lace and a few strands of bleach-blond hair.

  Suddenly the music changes to a slow dance.

  Megan and Stan are now face to face, moving as one. Stan’s hands are roaming all over her back and he’s whispering in her ear. David has shifted a few feet closer to them, still giving them his creepy laser stare.

  I push past them and find Cameron near the fountain, laughing on the phone. I tap him on the shoulder and he nods at me. “Listen, I gotta go. But I’ll see you really soon. Yeah. Me too.” He closes the phone.

  “Cameron, who—”

  “Sorry about that, babe.” He twines his fingers through mine. “That was my friend from college.”

  “The one you’ve been trying to meet up with?”

  “Yeah. We’ve planned to meet tonight.”

  “Tonight?”

  “Later. After this thing is done. There’s this party.”

  “Oh, okay. Sounds fun,” I say. “Where?”

  “I’m not sure you’ll like it. It might be kind of crazy.”

  I pull him toward the slow-dancing couples and he draws me close to him. Nuzzles my neck. Over his shoulder, I see Dalton dancing with Jackie, but watching me. He quickly looks away.

  “Cameron, I really like being with you,” I say.

  “Me too.” He kisses my cheek. The twinkly lights make his eyes sparkle. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Cameron, I—”

  “Hey folks,” the DJ announces. “Chow’s on. Everybody head on in and get some grub.”

  “Yes!” Stan says. He races away, leaving Megan behind.

  David is suddenly beside Megan, his hands still tucked under his arms. “Who was that guy?”

  “What business is it of yours?” she asks. “Where’s Liselle?”

  “At some party. Why?”

  “Nice tie,” she says in a sarcastic voice.

  “Thank you. Who was that guy?”

  “Stan. He’s in college.”

  “I see.” David speed-walks away. Megan’s lip quivers.

  “Come on, Megan,” I say. “You can get some food now.”

  She shrugs. “I’m not so hungry
anymore.”

  “Well, just come with us,” I say.

  “Who was that freak?” Cameron asks.

  Megan bites her lip.

  I take her arm. “Look, they’ve got vegetarian fajitas.” I point to some of our friends who are walking back toward the garden tables, their plates brimming. “You love fajitas.”

  “Love.” Megan sighs.

  “Excuse me. Excuse me, everybody.” It’s David on the DJ’s stage, talking on the mike. Feedback whistles through the speakers, making everybody cringe.

  “What is that idiot doing?” Megan says.

  “Happy birthday to Anna, wherever she is,” David says. Anna waves from a back table. “Sorry, I won’t delay the festivities for long. There’s just something I must say to somebody out here.” He rubs his head, leaving his hair even more messy than usual. “Somebody important.”

  “Did I miss anything?” Stan asks. He’s standing next to Megan holding a dish of meatballs.

  “See, there’s this incredible girl,” David says. “She actually went out with me. Yeah. I know. It shocked me too, because she is amazing.”

  “I am not listening to him go on about that slut,” Megan says. “Stan, take me home.”

  “But the meatballs.”

  “Oh, come on.” She pulls Stan toward the exit.

  “Megan, don’t go,” David says.

  “Hey, that’s you,” Stan says.

  She covers her face.

  David says, “Megan, I have to—”

  The DJ yanks the mike from him and says, “Sorry, folks. Let’s get back to some music with—”

  David tears the mike from his hands. “I am not a violent man, but I do know the Vulcan nerve pinch. Do not make me use it.” This makes the DJ back off. “And listen, you.” David points at Stan. “You are one lucky man. Because Megan, she’s—wow. It figures I couldn’t hang onto her.” He tugs at his snowman tie.

  Megan tilts her head and takes a step closer. We all do.

  “She is journeying to Europe soon and I wanted to be there with her,” David says, his voice cracking. “When Liselle hired me to create a website for her line of belly button jewelry, it seemed like the smart thing to do. Yes, she called me ‘sweetie,’ but she calls everyone that. It was merely a job. Nothing untoward occurred. Well, one time she kissed me, but she apologized and said she only did it to make somebody jealous.” He scratches his neck. “So, now I have enough money to go to Europe with Megan. It was supposed to be a surprise for her. Only now I don’t have Megan. And that, my attentive friends, is the very definition of irony. I should go.” David drops the mike to the ground and a painful crash shakes the speakers. He darts off the stage and pushes his way through the crowd.

  “Poor fella,” Cameron says.

  The DJ picks up the mike. “Okay, as long as there are no more violent Star Trek fans lurking around, let’s… Oh, what now?”

  Megan leaps onto the stage, seizes the mike and shouts, “David Jovanovich, I love you.”

  David spins to face her, grabbing his chest like he’s having a heart attack. “Oh. Do not jest.”

  “I’m in love with you, you big dummy,” Megan says.

  He jumps up and down, then speeds back toward the stage. He jumps up to Megan, and she throws down the mike, which sends yet another earsplitting crash through the speakers. David grabs her and they kiss. Everybody cheers, even Stan.

  Cameron and I laugh.

  Now. Now is the moment to tell him. I lean close to his ear. He tilts his head nearer.

  I have to say it. I lick my lips. I need to say it. I clear my throat. Say it, damn it!

  “What is it?” he says.

  “Water,” I croak. “Need some. Now.”

  Chapter 30

  “I can’t say it, Raina.” We’re standing on the edge of the dance floor watching Cameron and Stan dancing with a group of my friends, including Anna and Monique. Even Jackie has left Dalton long enough to shake her hips with the college guys. “I want to tell him. I need to. But I just can’t do it.”

  “Then you shouldn’t. It’s not right. Your heart is telling you.” She snaps open her purse, pulls out a small mirror and quickly checks her makeup.

  “That’s not the problem. I’m the problem.” She hands me the mirror and I take a quick peek, but can barely stand to look at my cowardly face. I give her the mirror back. “I screw up everything. I can’t even go home again.”

  “Nonsense. It will be fine. Just act really sorry when you get home.”

  “But I’m not really sorry.”

  “Act, Sang. Honestly, you Americans are terrible at hiding your emotions. Here,” she says, handing me a breath mint from her purse. “You don’t want to smell like fajitas.”

  I pop the mint into my mouth. “Look at him. He’s wonderful.” Cameron takes a shy girl named Cait in his arms and dips her low. Monique taps him on the shoulder, and he switches, taking her hand and spinning her. “Everybody thinks he’s wonderful.”

  “Not Uncle and Auntie. Or Hari.”

  “He’s going to think I don’t really care about him. I’m going to lose him.”

  “Stop that. You are too hard on yourself is all.”

  “Maybe I’m not hard enough. Maybe telling him is like going underwater. I just have to take the plunge and that’s that.” I raise my chin. “Tonight I take the plunge.”

  “Where? In that fountain over there?” Dalton says and sips from a glass of ice water. He’s flushed from dancing and his tie is stuffed in his pocket.

  “Oh,” I say, swallow my mint whole and start to cough.

  While he chats with Raina, I take his glass from his hand and gulp water. At last I feel the mint go down. I hand his glass back to him. “Having fun?” I ask.

  “Uh, yeah,” he says, examining the empty glass. “Not as much as he is, though.” Dalton nods at Cameron. Even more girls are dancing around him now. “I guess he’s a real ladies’ man.”

  “He’s not like that.”

  “Right.” Dalton sets the glass on a table and pushes up his sleeves. “But if he gives you trouble, you let me know.”

  The image of Dalton trying to beat up Cameron appears in my mind, and, frankly, Dalton is getting the crap knocked out of him. “Yeah, I will.”

  “Hello young lovers, wherever you are,” Megan says, dragging David over to us. Dalton and I shift uncomfortably. “Isn’t he wonderful?” She gazes into David’s eyes. “Saving up money like that so we can go to Europe together. My parents are going to be so pissed. And Sang, you thought he was cheating on me.” She whacks my hand.

  “To be fair, so did you,” I say.

  “But how could I ever have doubted him?” she says.

  David gives her a lopsided grin.

  “Love, Sang.” Megan pinches my cheek. “That’s what it’s all about.”

  I give my own lopsided grin to Cameron.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. Your mom left a message. She wants you to call. Something about an uncle?” My grin fades as Megan hands me her cell.

  I walk to a quieter spot and stare at the phone. What if I get my dad?

  Before I can change my mind, I dial.

  “Hello?”

  “Mom. Thank God it’s you.”

  “Where are you?” she says in a stern voice.

  “At Anna’s party, where else?”

  “Oh Sang. You and your father are too much alike.”

  “Mom, please.”

  “You have to apologize, Sang.”

  “What about Taoji? Is he okay?” I close my eyes tight.

  “The BMT is starting tomorrow morning.”

  I open my eyes. “So it’s good news?”

  “Raina’s dad finished his part and tomorrow they’re hooking up Taoji Ravinder. We should be celebrating. But you and your father… Oh, Sang. Do the right thing.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “I have half a mind to drive right over and pick you up.”

  Burning with anger, I slide the phone shu
t.

  I want to feel good about Taoji, excited even, but I can’t. The BMT has to work first. What did the Internet say? It takes a week or more to find out if the body is accepting the new marrow.

  I hand the phone back to Megan.

  Megan asks if Raina, Gary, and I would mind getting another ride home. “I’m taking David home now, and we could use a little alone time. Couldn’t we, my lovey lamb?”

  “Yes, my divine patootie,” David says.

  Raina stifles a giggle.

  “Sang, if you need a ride, I’ve got the minivan,” Dalton says. “As long as I’m back by eleven, it’s cool.”

  “That’s okay,” I say. “I’m sure Cameron can take us.”

  “Right,” Dalton says. “The lifeguard to the rescue. Excuse me, I seem to need another water.”

  No sooner does Dalton go, than Megan says, “Oooh. He’s still stuck on you.”

  “He is not,” I say.

  “Denial, Sang. DE-NI-AL.”

  “Come, my love,” David says, patting Megan’s hand. Their eyes lock on each other and they stroll away, nearly knocking into a waiter carrying a tray of glasses.

  “Dalton is awfully protective of you,” Raina says.

  I change the subject. “Mom just told me Taoji’s having his BMT tomorrow.”

  She squeezes my hand. “What wonderful news.” Suddenly she looks especially sad.

  “This means you’ll be going home soon, won’t you?”

  “My father’s part is done. We’ll all be leaving soon.”

  I squeeze her hand back. “Somehow I thought you’d be here all summer.”

  “Oh, Sang. How will I ever face Sanjay?”

  “Just act. You are one of the best actresses in Bollywood. I should know. I’ve seen you in action.”

  The music slows and couples start to sway. I see Monique dancing with Cameron. Gary comes by and guides Raina to the dance floor.

  For a moment I’m struck by just how different everything in my life has become. I was so sure Gary was the one I’d be slow dancing with at this party. I never thought I would get involved with Dalton. And now I’m so sure about Cameron.

  For a moment I feel lightheaded.

  Cameron’s now got his arms around Monique’s waist. She’s whispering something in his ear. I march over to them and do a firm tap on Monique’s shoulder. She turns, a blissful smile on her face. “Oh, Sang. Just keeping him warm for you,” she says and steps away.