For the Best

by LJ Scar

  “Where is your bed?”

  “Right here.” She opened a teak stained cabinet and pulled down a vertical bed. “It’s an old Murphy bed. Cool huh?”

  I paused before responding, “Yeah, cool.” I dumped my duffel and looked at the rolling rack of clothes with shoes stacked beneath. A narrow dresser rested beside it with a lot of girly stuff on top.

  I followed her back out. More people were waiting, some at the dollar coin changer, others at the bar. She filled some orders. I marveled at the fives and tens in her donation jar.

  With a lull in the customers, she joined me on a couch. I put my arm around her.

  “What’s your bottom line?” I asked in a hushed voice.

  “10% of all profits on the machines, all my tips, and along with the free rent are the free utilities.”

  “How many hours are you putting in? How much are the ingredients for the food and coffee setting you back?”

  “Those are my hours.” She pointed to the open sign hanging by the door. “I bought all my ingredients at Costco so they were in bulk. Very reasonable. I’ve already pulled in over a grand and the first month isn’t even over. I more than make a profit if that is your concern.”

  “$1000 a month is below poverty level Hanna,” I muttered doubtfully.

  She scowled. “This will look good on my bank application if I apply for a small business loan.”

  “What is your small business plan?” I asked trying not to dampen her eagerness with my tone.

  “I haven’t narrowed it down to just one yet. I’m going to put a whole summer of consideration into it.” She bit her lip.

  “What is this?” I held up a flyer I had found on the couch.

  “On certain nights I entertain. The place really hops. So far I’ve organized Poker Parties, Trivia Games via TV, Movie Nights, Karaoke, and Open Mic Night.”

  “Really?” I was kind of impressed.

  “Yeah, one night I reached maximum occupancy and had to turn people away.”

  Chapter 34

  Hanna

  I was really having fun. I liked my job. I liked where I lived. I loved when Tanner showed up at closing and spent the night. What I didn’t like was lying awake worrying because my ex best girlfriend had visited three times in the past week with a swollen tear stained face, complaining that laundry detergent and baked goods made her nauseous.

  I foggily felt my bed dip with weight. My sleep filled eyes were having trouble focusing. I whispered, “What time is it?”

  I heard a quiet laugh and in the darkness I saw Tanner sitting on the side of the mattress. “It’s only seven o’clock. I need to cut a skylight in here so you have a window.”

  “I could see the stars if you did.”

  “You love the stars don’t you?” he whispered kissing me.

  “I do. I love everything above me,” I mumbled lying prone on the side of the bed.

  Tanner pushed me onto my back. “Is that so?”

  Tanner

  The nursery I had worked at in high school had given me a summer job at a country club in St. Augustine landscaping. I stopped going home to sleep, spent every night with her. One night in bed I made my intentions clear. “I should get you an engagement ring. So everyone knows we’re committed.”

  “It takes more than a piece of jewelry to make a commitment.”

  “Not for me. I’m never gonna take the ring you put on my finger off. I’ll be that old guy whose knuckles got arthritic and he can’t remove the band.”

  She shook her head, but she was happy with my words.

  Hanna

  The first appointment I made with Della to the OB was torture. All these women were sitting around reading parenting magazines, What to expect when you’re expecting, and all this happy to be knocked up light reading. Della was already in her 20th week. I suspected Benny was the father to be, but Della never spoke his name and I refused to ask.

  When her OB came in Della was in a paper gown, buck naked underneath and complaining about being cold. She shook my hand as well as Della’s and began the examination. Upon finishing, she assured Della that the baby was healthy while simultaneously warning her about her weight, worrying me with future concerns of gestational diabetes.

  After the appointment Della handed me the black and white picture of a little alien with a penis. “Can you keep this in a safe place for me?”

  “Yeah, don’t you want to study it at home?”

  “No, I don’t think I should have it in the house in case Michelle starts snooping through my stuff again.”

  “Don’t you want to show Jace?”

  “God no. The longer he doesn’t know the better.”

  We got in the car and she pulled a book of baby names from her purse. I was almost positive she’d stolen it from the waiting room.

  “How long do you think you can keep this hidden?” I lightly poked her stomach.

  “I’ve always been fat. They’ll just think I went on a binge.”

  I didn’t pursue it further.

  “Help me pick a name that we don’t know any guy with so we can raise the baby without prejudged faults.”

  “I’ve known guys who didn’t have faults.”

  “Name one.”

  I struggled and couldn’t produce one name.

  Chapter 35

  Hanna

  It is funny how when you love someone you want to please them. To please Tanner, I was appeasing him. On a quiet night with only two patrons, he set me down at his laptop and had me take a fifteen minute free career aptitude test. Every other page I had to click skip or no thanks for various online college requests to send me application packets.

  There were one hundred questions in three parts for each where I had to click M for most interested and L for least interested in the duties, tasks, responsibilities and vocations listed. Some were odd like would you prefer:

  Analyzing fish intestines for microbial parasites

  Working with underprivileged children

  Creatively writing proposals to budget committees

  I didn’t most or least like any of the choices.

  Scores higher than 70 were recommended for consideration in your future education or career. That meant you had a higher interest in those than the majority of the general public. My highest score was in outdoors, particularly in agriculture with animals and/or plants. I also scored high on writing both creative or technical.

  Tanner lighted on my past objectives. “Sounds like Veterinary School or maybe a major in English.”

  “English, really? So I waste four years and what… write a novel then spend untold time finding an agent, getting published only to find it does not pay my rent.”

  “An English degree has more options than that.”

  “I know but,” I turned and tapped the next page of my results that were printed, “it says right here that scores below 30 are considered low and indicate a lack of interest or dislike for certain activities. Specifically, it says you will be happier if you avoid a profession that requires you to perform tasks that you have little interest. Top of that list shows clerical and administrative.”

  “Those options were neither clerical nor administrative,” he argued.

  “No, then what about the next page?” I flipped. “Workplace fit- how well your approach fits your work environment. I do not belong in an office. I tried it with the beverage company and was unhappy. The workplace fit graph shows that I lean toward (Realistic) doing and (Artistic) creating.” I read verbatim from my test, “Realistic types like physical activity, working with their hands. They enjoy working outdoors and do not mind physical risks on the job. Artistic types are often thought of as original and creative by others.”

  He threw his hands in the air in frustration. “I give up.” He stormed outside and climbed an extension ladder onto my roof, where before the botched aptitude test he’d declared he had a surprise for me.

  I joined him.

  Tanner extended his hand showman st
yle across the laundromat roof. I smiled, focusing on the blanket and bottle of wine.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think it is very romantic.” I walked over to the edge. It wasn’t that far to the ground.

  “I’m sorry I’m an ass sometimes.” He wrapped his arms around me.

  “I know you have my best interests at heart.”

  Chapter 36

  Hanna

  A whole summer passed in what seemed a blink of an eye. Tanner was leaving, embarking on his semester in Europe. Torn, I didn’t know how to convey how much I’d miss him while still encouraging him to pursue the adventure.

  I walked down the gray weathered boardwalk. The stretch of the beach had been blasted by last year’s storms. An X of wood ended where steps once allowed access to sand.

  Tanner was sitting shirtless, his arms spread in a stretch as his hands gripped opposing rails, his legs dangling off the last plank. The muscles tapered to his waist. I knelt down and wrapped my arms around him reveling in his body’s warmth. He moved his hands over my forearms.

  “Are you excited?” I asked trying not to let the loneliness to come inflect my voice.

  “I would be more if you were coming with me.”

  “I wish I could.” I kissed the back of his neck.

  “Do you?”

  “I do,” I whispered placing my forehead on his hard deltoid. I breathed him in, the sea salt, the soap, the warmth. I didn’t want to let him go.

  Chapter 37

  Hanna

  The loss of Tanner leaving for Europe was replaced by the intricacies of Della’s pregnancy.

  She had an interview with a placement agency. Her clothes were strewn across my bed as she attempted to find an outfit able to conceal her pregnancy. She was holding up skirts and blouses against her further bulging belly determining if they looked accountant appropriate.

  “Black is out. It makes me look like a pregnant Goth.”

  I paired a dark red skirt with a pregnancy pouch that gave and a tailored white silk blouse. “Model this for me.”

  She changed without modesty. “Your breasts are so large it almost looks like you’re wearing a push up bra.”

  She laughed. “Thanks. What about the heels?”

  “Can you walk in those?”

  She nodded.

  “I think you look great. I guarantee you’ll come home with the job.”

  “I have to.”

  “Why have to?” Her face crumbled. The pregnancy hormones caused her to cry a lot. “What is wrong?” I hugged her.

  Garbling between sobs she cried, “Michelle told Jace that I was pregnant.”

  “How did she find out?”

  “Benny told her I was trying to pin my mistake on him.”

  “Oh Della.” I rubbed her back as she tried to catch her breath.

  “My own brother told me to not say another word until after the baby was born and I could produce a paternity test.”

  “I’m sorry.” I tried to console her.

  Finally, she stopped sobbing. “Hanna, can I live here with you?”

  I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

  “Will you pretend like it’s true?”

  “What?” I asked once again confused.

  “That I was messing around with someone besides Benny. That we don’t know who the father is.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want it to be him.”

  I nodded.

  With overseas phone calls ridiculously expensive, we decided to use the less expensive means of communicating. I switched on the Skype session. Tanner was the only person on my contact list. We had scheduled the time. I was saving up for a new laptop with a camera feed and microphone but for now I had to be satisfied with instant messaging.

  2:34:28 PM Tanner: Hi, how are you doing over there?

  3:09:39 PM Hanna: Good, are you enjoying the rain? Have you ventured out much?

  3:11:00 PM Tanner: Not much, I’m out of sorts. Soda and candy machines only here.

  3:11:27 PM Hanna: Why out of sorts, jet lag?

  3:12:11 PM Tanner: I grabbed some chips, skittles and coke zero so I am set if the local takeaways can't deliver...

  3:12:59 PM Hanna: I hope they can.

  He didn’t reply for a while. I didn’t know if his internet connection had lapsed or what. Finally, a half hour later he replied.

  4:13:27 PM Tanner: I miss you.

  By then I was not beside my computer anymore and 26 minutes passed before I sent.

  4:13:53 PM Hanna: I miss you too.

  I didn’t get another message back.

  4:14:10 PM Hanna: Let’s try again same time tomorrow.

  Sharing a bed with a large, moody pregnant woman was a challenge. She’d landed a permanent job that was to begin in August upon her finishing her remaining classes and graduating. Until then, all she had to do was study and grow a baby. I came into the bedroom at noon to find her sleeping still not having risen for the day.

  “You need to get up and move about. Lying around depressed is not good for the baby.”

  “I’m not lying around. I’m preparing for a different life.”

  “Different is good,” I said.

  “Different is scary.”

  “Are you scared to become a mother?”

  “No, I’m scared of losing my youth and freedom.”

  I sighed thinking she should be more scared of her future medical bills.

  The Skype webcam was plugged into my new computer. The software switched on. I was so excited. No more instant messaging conversations that seemed to have lag time between responses. I initiated the call from the main window, clicking the green video button. He appeared full screen with the live feed picture of me shrunk into a square on the lower left side.

  I smiled happy to see his face and he appeared smiling as well.

  “Oh, I like this. It is almost as good as being together.”

  “Not quite.”

  “So how is it so far?” I asked.

  “So far, so good. How are you doing?” He smiled and the picture froze as the webcam transmitted.

  8:40:28 AM Hanna: What happened?

  8:41:53 AM Tanner: Not sure.

  8:41:57 AM Hanna: Was it just the web cam feed? Since we can still share on conversation.

  8:42:03 AM Tanner: My roommate made a stop in the loo. Maybe it shook the broadband.

  8:42:05 AM Hanna: I hope it isn’t that sensitive. Loo- are you already going Brit?

  8:42:28 AM Tanner: I’m trying to impress you with my newly learned colloquial expressions.

  8:42:41 AM Hanna: I only know their obscenities: bloody, bullocks, wanker.

  8:43:29 AM Tanner: What about bee’s knees, arse, cheers and spot on?

  8:43:44 AM Hanna: I’ve never used those.

  Then the connection ceased. It took almost ten minutes to reconnect.

  8:50:29 AM Hanna: Okay, I think it is working now.

  8:50:57 AM Tanner: Finally, hit your video feed.

  “You look really pretty. All the girls here are pasty white from lack of sun,” he teased.

  “Oh yeah? You been scoping any out?” I joked.

  “No point. I’ve got the best girl in the world waiting across the pond.”

  Della was working for me as I talked with Tanner. Through my closed door, he could hear her loudly laughing with a customer.

  “So how is she doing?”

  “Not good but she’s hanging in there.”

  “Lucky for her she has such a great friend.”

  “I try.”

  “Want a tour?”

  “Yeah!” I exclaimed.

  He walked the laptop pointing out as he gave me a visual tour of his dorm room and the hallway outside. He even opened his window and showed me the street view.

  “I miss you so much.” I said sighing.

  “I miss you too.”

  I really believed him.

  Chapter 38

  Hanna

 
Della and I made it work in the cramped space of the Laundromat apartment. Sleep had become so difficult with her sharing the bed that I had taken an air mattress out in the common area just for my own space.

  Tanner wasn’t in contact as much. I tried not to read into his lack of communication but as one day stretched into the next I had a bad feeling spreading like infection inside me.

  On a warm October evening near sunset, I was lying on the beige sand with pinkish streams swirling through staring out at surfers trying to master the weak waves of the Atlantic. Clay was applying wax to his surfboard. Della was studying for the CPA exam with her book propped on top of her ever growing belly.

  “You ever see that old schoolhouse a few streets over from the Laundromat?” Clay asked.

  “The two story with the boarded up windows and vines covering the brick?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

  “A buddy of mine is a structural engineer and he did a sweep, said it was habitable. I went to the county recorder’s office to find out who owns it. Thought I would make them an offer. Turns out it is owned by the city, part of the Economic Revitalization Area - for sale with incentives. But it can’t be mortgaged. The city is willing to deal but for cash only.” He sighed.

  “What were you going to do with it?” Della looked up from her text.

  “I always wanted to open a microbrew but I don’t want the hassle of restaurant…but if you serve alcohol you need food.”

  “You could sell appetizers!” Della exclaimed.

  “I see a new trend. Apps and Taps,” he joked.

  “That actually could work,” I said.

  “I don’t have the cash.” He shrugged dismissing the idea.

  A thought formed. “I have $25,000 saved.”

  “Once Jace sells the house, I’ll have at least $50 grand,” Della offered. “How much do you have?”