LarryBoy and the Emperor of Envy

by Sean Gaffney

  LARRYBOY™

  AND THE EMPEROR OF ENVY

  WRITTEN BY

  SEAN GAFFNEY

  ILLUSTRATED BY

  MICHAEL MOORE

  BASED ON THE HIT VIDEO SERIES: LARRYBOY

  CREATED BY PHIL VISCHER

  SERIES ADAPTED BY TOM BANCROFT

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Cover

  Title Page

  CHAPTER 1: SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE SCHOOL OF BUMBLYBURG

  CHAPTER 2: I AM THAT HERO!

  CHAPTER 3: A TYPICAL NIGHT IN SUPERHERO SCHOOL

  CHAPTER 4: ENTER … THE EMPEROR

  CHAPTER 5: NEXT DAY AT THE BUGLE

  CHAPTER 6: ARCHIE CALLING

  CHAPTER 7: THE PLOT (AND THE SLUSHEE) THICKENS

  CHAPTER 8: THE SLUSHEE CONTEST

  CHAPTER 9: TEN MINUTES LATER, OR “I CAN’T BELIEVE I SLURPED THE WHOLE THING!”

  CHAPTER 10: THE EMPEROR’S ENTRANCE

  CHAPTER 11: GOOD BATTLES EVIL

  CHAPTER 12: NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF SLUSHEE ON THE WALL

  CHAPTER 13: THE EMPEROR’S NEW BUMBLYBURG

  CHAPTER 14: ALFRED REPORTS BACK

  CHAPTER 15: IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED.

  CHAPTER 16: THE BUMBLYBURG PRISON BLUES

  CHAPTER 17: JUNIOR TO THE RESCUE

  CHAPTER 18: TRY, TRY AGAIN

  CHAPTER 19: ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS

  Preview

  About the Author

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Share Your Thoughts

  CHAPTER 1

  SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE SCHOOL OF BUMBLYBURG

  It was a typical day at Bumblyburg’s Veggie Valley Elementary School. Well, okay, maybe it wasn’t such a typical day. In fact, something just plain weird was going on. The teacher, Mr. Asparagus, was acting a bit oddly.

  “Don’t you think Mr. Asparagus is acting a bit oddly?” asked Lenny Carrot about his teacher.

  “He sure is,” said Laura Carrot. “And he looks kind of funny. Like cardboard.”

  “His lips don’t move when he talks,” Percy Pea piped in. “That’s weird.”

  “You know,” said Renee Blueberry, “he looks a bit like a scallion from the side.”

  “What do you think, Junior?” asked Laura.

  Junior Asparagus didn’t know what to think! After all, the teacher was his father. But his dad was acting oddly. And he sure did look funny. Almost as if he was wearing a cardboard mask drawn with crayon.

  “Time for a math lesson,” squeaked the teacher.

  “See!” whispered Percy. “His lips didn’t move!”

  “That doesn’t sound like my dad,” said Junior.

  The teacher put a black bag on top of his desk. “Now, children,” the teacher said, “I want you all to put your milk money into this bag. Then we will play a game.”

  “What game?” asked Junior.

  “Hide-and-Seek,” replied the teacher. “You will close your eyes and count to a million while I run and hide. Won’t that be fun?”

  Junior thought hard. His dad sounded funny, looked as if he was wearing a cardboard mask, talked without moving his lips, and now asked the kids to hand over their milk money for a game of Hide-and-Seek.

  “Hey!” shouted Junior. “You aren’t my dad! You’re the Milk Money Bandit!”

  “But I look like your dad, don’t you think?” asked the teacher.

  “I think you’re wearing a mask,” said Junior.

  “Am not,” said the teacher.

  “Are too!”

  “Am not!”

  That moment, a rather large suction cup flew through the open window and plopped onto Mr. Asparagus’ face. With a loud THWOOP, the plunger was pulled back through the window, ripping off the mask. It was the Milk Money Bandit after all!

  “Erk!” shrieked the Bandit.

  “I knew it!” exclaimed Junior. “But where did that plunger come from?”

  All the students turned and looked out the window. It was Larryboy! One of his suction-cup ears sported the Milk Money Bandit’s mask, and he was trying to shake it loose.

  “I am that hero!” Larryboy proclaimed.

  Then Larryboy leaped through the open window, tripped on the windowsill, and fell into the classroom, landing on his face.

  “I meant to do that,” the hero said, popping upright. “Now, Bandit, where is the real Mr. Asparagus? Talk now, unless you want the other ear!”

  Larryboy leaned threateningly toward the bandit.

  “No, not the ears! I’ll talk!” howled the villain. “I just wish I had more milk money!”

  Larryboy scowled at the bandit.

  “Mr. Asparagus is in the closet!” the bandit said, quickly.

  Junior ran to the closet and opened the door.

  “Dad!”

  “Son!”

  Junior’s dad hopped out of the closet.

  “It sure was dark in there,” Mr. Asparagus said. “Thank you, Junior.”

  Mr. Asparagus came out of the closet and looked at the Milk Money Bandit quite sternly. “You should learn to be content with the money you have!” he scolded. “Thank you, Larryboy, for saving the day!”

  Larryboy smiled. “My pleasure,” he said. “And now to take care of the bandit!”

  CHAPTER 2

  I AM THAT HERO!

  A short while later, Chief Croswell arrived at the classroom.

  “I understand the Milk Money Bandit is ready to be taken to jail,” he said.

  “As soon as he is done at the blackboard,” Larryboy responded.

  The bandit was at the board, writing “I will not steal milk money” one thousand times.

  “A fitting punishment for his crime,” the Chief said.

  “And now, my work here is done!” said Larryboy. He jumped out the window, tripping on the sill again, and fell onto the lawn.

  “I meant to do that,” the hero said as he popped back up.

  Then Larryboy hopped into the Larry-Mobile and sped off toward his secret hideout.

  Soon, the videophone in the Larry-Mobile began chirping.

  “Hello, Archie,” said Larryboy. Archibald—Larryboy’s assistant, manservant, and technical wizard—appeared on the video screen.

  “Well done, Larryboy!” Archibald said. “I monitored the whole thing from the Larry-Cave. You did splendidly.”

  “Thank you,” said Larryboy.

  “However, you may wish to be more careful jumping through windows.”

  “I think my mask throws off my depth perception.”

  “Well, never mind that now. I called to remind you of tonight’s superhero class.”

  “Tonight? But tonight is a classic double-feature night at the movies!”

  “Well,” said Archibald, “what do you think is more important, attending movies or school?”

  “But the movies are Attack of the Rotten Tomato plus Salad Wars: Frankencelery Strikes Back!” exclaimed Larryboy.

  Archibald glared at Larryboy through the screen.

  “I’m on my way to school! Over and out!” Our hero spun his roadster around and zoomed down the street.

  CHAPTER 3

  A TYPICAL NIGHT IN SUPERHERO SCHOOL

  Larryboy raced down the hallway of the Bumblyburg Community College, stopping in front of a door with a big sign that read, “Superhero 101: The Basics of Being Super.”

  “Here it is,” Larryboy mumbled to himself. “I hope I’m not late.”

  Our hero stuck his head inside the doorway. The classroom was filled with superheroes, all sitting and facing the front. Bok Choy, the professor, stood in the front of the class. Larryboy slipped in, hoping not to be noticed. Unfortunately, he also tripped o
ver the Norse superhero’s backpack and toppled over a chair.

  “Let me interrupt class with a riddle,” said Bok Choy. “What do these three things have in common: an overdue library book, a school bus that is behind schedule, and Larryboy? Would the cucumber in the back like to guess?”

  “Uhm,” sputtered Larryboy.

  “They are all late!” pronounced his teacher.

  “That’s a good riddle!” Larryboy said. “What’s black, white, and read all over?”

  Bok Choy took a deep breath and stared at Larryboy.

  “Sorry, I was trying to slip in unnoticed.”

  “Slip in unnoticed?” Bok Choy asked. “A large cucumber dressed in yellow, sporting a big purple cape, and bumping into chairs in the back row? It’s a wonder you were noticed at all. Take your seat, and try not to be late again.”

  Larryboy slipped into a chair. Bok Choy resumed his lecture.

  “As I was saying, envy is a dangerous thing—especially to a superhero! Let’s look at this chart showing the effects of envy on the super body.”

  Larryboy looked at the superhero sitting next to him. He was a decorated apple, dressed in red, white, and blue. The headdress covering his head had two small wings attached. He also had a marvelous round shield that was painted blue with a big white A in the middle.

  “Psst,” whispered Larryboy. “Howdy. I’m Larryboy, from Bumblyburg. Who are you?”

  “American Pie, defender of truth, justice, and vitamin A,” American Pie whispered back. “I’m from Tiggety Town. What’s the answer to your riddle?”

  “Oh, that’s easy! A Larryboy chapter book!”

  “Huh?” American Pie asked curiously.

  “Never mind,” Larryboy said. “Hey! I sure like the wings on your head. Can you fly?”

  “Nope,” said the captain. “But they do make me look cool.”

  “Nifty,” said Larryboy.

  “Moving right along,” Bok Choy urged with authority as he cleared his throat to demand more attention. “I want you all to take out your Superhero Handbooks and turn to section 20, paragraph 14, line 30.”

  “Psst!” Larryboy whispered to American Pie. “Can I look on with you? I left my Superhero Handbook in my glove compartment.”

  “Sure,” said his neighbor.

  “The book says, ‘A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones,’” read Bok Choy. “Envy, also known as jealousy, eats away at you from the inside. It is an evil to avoid!”

  Larryboy couldn’t concentrate. He kept staring at American Pie’s shield.

  “That’s a really nifty shield,” he whispered.

  “Thanks,” American Pie whispered back.

  “Can I hold it for a minute?” asked our hero.

  “Okay,” said the Pie. “Just be very careful.”

  Larryboy took the shield. It was heavier than it looked.

  “Neat-o,” said Larryboy.

  “There is only one cure for envy,” Bok Choy continued with his lecture. “You must learn to be happy with the things you already have. Instead of wishing you had your neighbor’s car, be grateful for your own car. Instead of desiring your neighbor’s cat, think of how happy you are with your own dog.”

  “What if I don’t have a dog?” asked the Scarlet Tomato.

  “I was just using that as an example,” explained Bok Choy.

  “My neighbor has a dog,” said the tomato. “But I don’t.” Bok Choy sighed.

  “What do you have?” asked the teacher.

  “A goldfish.”

  “Can you be content with that?”

  “Sure. It’s a pretty good goldfish.”

  “All right then,” the teacher continued. “Remember, a content heart is a healthy heart. Repeat that, heroes.”

  “A content heart is a healthy heart,” the class members repeated—except for Larryboy. He was busy playing with the shield.

  Larryboy lifted the disk up and down, playing with the weight in his hands.

  “Psst,” he whispered. “I bet you can throw this shield about a mile!”

  “Perhaps,” agreed American Pie. “But not in here!”

  “It would make a great Frisbee,” Larryboy said as he pretended to throw the shield like a Frisbee.

  “Be careful!” hissed American Pie.

  “Don’t worry,” said Larryboy. “I’m always careful … oops.”

  Larryboy wasn’t holding on tightly enough. The shield flew around the room, careening off one wall only to ricochet off another.

  “What’s going on?” demanded Bok Choy.

  “Look out!” shouted Electro-Melon.

  “My shield!” yelled American Pie.

  “Ahhh!” screamed Bok Choy as the shield bounced to the front of the room, heading straight for him.

  He raised the Superhero Handbook to block the flying disk. The shield skimmed over the edge of the book and shot through Bok Choy’s head, giving him a flattop. The whole class stared at their instructor for a moment. Finally, Bok Choy broke the silence.

  “Class, it looks like Larryboy is more interested in a different lesson,” he said. “It seems he would rather practice being a barber!”

  “Oops,” said Larryboy.

  CHAPTER 4

  ENTER … THE EMPEROR

  Meanwhile, in a secret hideaway on the edge of Bumblyburg, an evil plan was being designed. Not just any evil plan, mind you, but that of Larryboy’s nemesis, the Emperor Napoleon of Crime and Other Bad Stuff! The evil cherry tomato was sitting in his throne room when he called in his soldiers.

  “Troops! Come in here!” called the villain.

  The Emperor’s army stumbled into the room. The term army, as it turns out, was a bit misleading. In fact, this particular army was really two muscular sweet potatoes named Frank and Jesse.

  “And we really aren’t that sweet,” said Jesse.

  “Who are you talking to?” asked Frank. “Nobody,” Jesse responded.

  “Listen up, soldiers!” barked the Emperor. “It’s time for me to share with you my plan to conquer all of Bumblyburg!”

  “How sweet! I always wished we could do something like that,” Jesse exclaimed.

  “I’ve managed to get my hands on a very special formula,” the Emperor said. “I call it the Envy Formula!”

  With a flourish, the Emperor waved a flask of blue liquid in front of the sweet potatoes.

  “Gee, I wish I had an envy formula,” Jesse commented.

  “I wish you’d be quiet!” said Frank.

  “Anyone who drinks this formula will be filled with envy. And we all know that envy makes people weak. But with this formula, they become super weak,” the Emperor continued. “And I plan to see to it that everyone in Bumblyburg gets a taste!”

  “That’s nice,” said Jesse. “Sharing like that is a real nice thing.”

  “Let me get this straight,” said Frank. “Drinking the formula makes a person jealous; and when they get jealous, they get super weak?”

  “That’s right,” answered the villain. “And the more envious they are, the weaker they become! They will feel tired and sluggish. They will hardly be able to move. They will only want to lie down and rest!”

  “You know, I’m kind of tired myself,” said Jesse.

  “Didn’t you take a nap this afternoon?” asked Frank.

  “Yes, but only a little one.”

  “Can we get back to the point, please,” demanded the Emperor. “Now then, are there any other questions?”

  “Yes,” Jesse said. “Are you really a tomato?”

  The Emperor let out a growl. “Yes, I am a tomato!”

  “But aren’t you too small to be a tomato?” Jesse asked.

  “I’ve explained this a million times!” the Emperor ranted. “I am a cherry tomato. We are supposed to be small.”

  “So doesn’t that make you more of a fruit than a tomato?” asked Jesse.

  “Actually,” Frank interrupted, “from a strictly scientific standpoint, tomatoes are fru
its and not vegetables.”

  “Really?” asked Jesse. “I don’t think I knew that.”

  “Quiet!” shouted the Emperor. “Are there any more questions about the formula?”

  “I have one,” said Frank. “How does the formula help us take over Bumblyburg?”

  “Simple,” the Emperor replied. “Once everyone has taken the formula, they will become envious. When they become envious, they will become weak. And then they will have no strength left to fight us when we take over Bumblyburg! Bwaa-haa-haa-ha!” The Emperor threw back his head and laughed. Frank and Jesse laughed too, although Jesse later admitted he didn’t really get the joke.

  CHAPTER 5

  NEXT DAY AT THE BUMBLE

  The next day at the Daily Bumble, Bob the editor was fuming mad.

  “I’m fuming mad,”

  said Bob. He was talking to Vicki, the staff photographer. Junior, the cub reporter from Veggie Valley Elementary School, listened in.

  “What’s got your goat this time, Chief?” asked Vicki. She liked to tease Bob by calling him “Chief.” She knew that got his goat. Bob ignored it.

  “Mister Slushee, Bumblyburg’s very own ice cream shop, is having a Slushee-Slurping contest today,” Bob grumbled. “They are giving out free Slushees to the whole town. It will be a major event!”

  “Sounds good to me,” said Vicki. “So what’s your beef?”

  “What’s my beef? I don’t have an available reporter to cover the story, so I have to go myself. I wish I had a reporter available.”

  “That’s not so bad,” said Vicki. “I’m going to be there to take photographs.”

  “But I don’t like Slushees!” said Bob.

  “What’s not to like about Slushees?” asked Vicki.

  “I get brain-freeze headaches,” said Bob.

  “Excuse me,” Junior cleared his throat. “But I could report on the contest.”

  “Who’s that?” demanded Bob.

  “Me, Junior Asparagus, sir!”

  “Oh, you,” said Bob. “Listen kid, it’s great that you’re the cub reporter covering stories from Veggie Valley Elementary School, but you’re just a kid. You can’t cover important stories like the Mister Slushee’s Slushee-Slurping Contest. Understand?”