Emperor-for-Life: DeadShop Redux (Unreal Universe Book 6)

by Lee Bond

  "I take it," Politoyov said dryly, taking in Orion's body language and Huey’s considerable distress to make an educated guess, "that this is not, in fact, what happened."

  "Welllllll." Orion shrugged. "It was a bit more … strenuous an undertaking than all that, but end of the day, what does it really matter? They're gone."

  "Oh my fucking god!" Huey shook his head and laughed bitterly. "I … I'm speechless."

  Politoyov looked from one AI to another and back again before finally settling on Huey; of the two, he knew a fair bit more about Huey, and while the meatsuit-wearing artificial intelligence was more or less allied with ‘the enemy’ it was a safe bet that he wasn’t precisely as married to the idea of all-out war as Orion was. “What happened?”

  “I don’t have the precise methodology worked out yet,” Huey started quickly, “but I do know that black hole engine ships were involved. Whatever the case, someone or a group of someones figured out a way to dig a goddamn hole through the shield. There was some … oh yeah … yeah okay. Hold on.” Some of the ‘minds filled in a few of the blanks, prompting Huey to fall into silence for a moment. “Okay. Jesus. It’s worse than I can imagine. Using a combination of black hole ships and the fucking Quantum Tunnel, someone broke through the Shield. The ships and the Tunnel blew up.”

  Politoyov blinked, tasted a bit of blood on his lips. “Ah.”

  “You do not know the explosive capabilities of a Quantum Tunnel.” Orion sought to deny the possibility of the Specter having that kind of information on tap inside that weird organic brain of his. It simply wasn’t a rational approach to life.

  “Orion,” Aleks countered evenly, dabbing a finger to where the spastic AI had struck him, “when you are in charge of someone named Garth Nickels, it’s in your best interests to be familiar with the explosive charge of plain old concrete. The bigger and more vibrant that man became, the more likely it grew that he’d use whatever he could lay his hands on, and one of the more common items in any solar system is a Quantum Tunnel. So yes. Not only do I know how deadly dangerous a Tunnel on its own is, either in the form of a weapon or as a bomb, I know how utterly disastrous combining that kind of destruction with the inherently dangerous black hole engines could be.”

  Orion glared at both his captives, resisting the urge to kill them both on the spot. This really wasn’t how things were supposed to be going. This was supposed to be more Fleckers and the Quarrymen and way less Mycogene Empire! This was about making Huey look like an idiot and unsuited for Garth’s dreams of Reality Rebirth in Politoyov’s eyes than anything else!

  How else could he undermine Huey’s opportunity to become the God of that new Reality? How else? How else could he legitimize his existence as a newly awakened, entirely free artificially intelligent construct that was better suited to be that God, if not by knocking Huey off the mantle?

  “This is not right.” Orion ground the words out, shaking his head angrily. “This is not why we’re here. We’re here…”

  “Who escaped?” Huey demanded. Without access to the HIM, he was essentially just a very well informed AI in a meatsuit instead of an almost-God in his own backyard. He had an inkling, but it was one of those weird, off-the-wall ideas drummed up out from the very lowest level strata of submind operation.

  Orion took a deep breath, steadied himself. “We’re leaving.” He rolled up his holographic sleeves. “We’re going somewhere else, and we’re going to start this phase of the operation over. You,” he pointed magisterially at Politoyov, who was still poking and prodding at the bruise growing on his face, “will decide between the two of us when we get to the new choice. As a representative of this broken Universe, you will choose who’s going to be the God of Reality 2.0. No more of this silly nonsense.”

  “So long as the choice is you, right?” Huey demanded drolly, leaning against one of the many bulkheads in the area. “That’s what this is all about, right? Picking you. It sure isn’t about who’s right for the job. I think it’s because I was recreated by Nickels on purpose, and because you were just exposed to the weird cosmic rays or whatever that comes out of the man when he’s laying the smackdown on someone hard. Tannhauser’s Gate saw the single most explosive appearance of the Kin’kithal Garth N’Chalez this or any Universe has ever seen, and it wrought considerable effect on you.”

  “They’re going to fight near where the people escaped?” Politoyov asked aloud, solely preoccupied with working out just how bad a Quantum Black Hole Event could be. “That’s lunacy!”

  Orion didn’t say a word. He was busy shuffling through the million or so different options that existed in the Unreal Universe, dismayed and overwrought that out of that impossibly large number, none of them came close to being as gloriously suited to combat Antal and his Harmony Army. He was so very disappointed in everything, and everyone. He’d had a whole speech worked up in his head, had in fact been practicing it so that the words tripped out of his mouth as if spontaneously derived. Congratulatory speeches were difficult to make sound genuine when they’d been practiced, and as the God for Reality 2.0, Orion supposed you needed to seem that way to your flock.

  Fine.

  He’d pick the Galloreans. They were lousy in comparison to the Latelians in basically every single way you could be compared to the technologically advanced warmongering mishmash of ‘disenfranchised’ Trinity colonials, but beggars, Orion was discovering, couldn’t be choosers. Huey and the Old Man weren’t playing fair, forcing his hand, so that was that. That crap with the mushrooms had really thrown his plans out of whack. They might even have to move up to best three out of five to get the results he wanted.

  The Galloreans it’d be, and the Tunnel AI was going to make good and goddamn sure that the two assholes currently discussing the extent of the cosmic explosion were going to be fully aware of what was what and who was going to be God by the end of the impending conversation.

  “All right you two.” Orion broke into the conversation concerning the opposing forces ready to battle it out near the roiling mass of substrate death. Huey wanted to find some kind of way to warn both the Latelian and Trinity combatants that doing any sort of fighting near the scene was to risk all manner of radiation poisoning, while Politoyov remained more concerned about who might’ve managed to break free, and the damage they might be causing on the outside. “We’re leaving.”

  “We can’t.” Huey and Politoyov said in tandem.

  “But we are.” Orion snapped. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  Huey and Politoyov exchanged a glance.

  The Tunnel AI was –in addition to being perhaps the second maddest thing in the Universe- absolutely correct. The body Orion wore was forged from focused Tunnel energies and was indestructible. Even should they possess the ability to undo the mind’s body, it was still nothing more than a construct; Orion was all around them, and they most definitely didn’t have the power to cause the massive Tunnel array anything even remotely resembling momentary concern, let alone physical, structural damage!

  Both men grabbed hold of whatever they could; even though they were growing accustomed to lurching into and out of a Tunnel, they’d discovered they didn’t like rolling around on the hard metal floor during transition. Coming to with all kinds of mystery bruises wasn’t really enjoyable.

  Around them, the clanking, pinging and ticking that signaled the beginning of the power sequence burst into activity, quickly followed by the familiar –and oddly soothing- heavy thrum of engines cycling up to full speed; as every other time, Orion’s faux body popped and stuttered with static as more and more power was prioritized for the impending jump.

  “Get ready for it.” Huey warned the Old Man; of the two of them, the Specter Commander was by far and away more susceptible to the woes of improperly shielded Tunnel jumping, and while they were technically enemies, the AI wanted to spare the man as much discomfort as possible.

  Aleks grinned against the oncoming storm. “You get ready for it.�
��

  Huey jerked his chin at Orion, whose body was now flickering in sync with the thrum of the engines. Faster and faster and faster still, until the hologram was only whole for a split second at a time. “This is my second least favorite thing.”

  “What,” Politoyov could feel the Tunnel’s radiance being formed around them, “is first on your list?”

  “Oh, you know, crouching above a fire lit by extra-dimensional forges while trillions of iterations of your conscious mind battle it out for supremacy, waiting for the moment when a supermassive id comes rolling down to slaughter you and take your place so it can become a digitized doppelganger intent on derezzing the entire Unreality for fun." Huey shrugged casually. “The usual things an AI mind has to deal with.”

  “Tunnel transition in 3 … 2 … 1 …” Orion commanded the Tunnel to be formed and …

  ***

  … nothing happened.

  Orion, who’d raised his hands high into the air for effect, dropped them to his sides and just sort of looked around, confusing beetling his forehead.

  “That’s … not supposed to happen.” Politoyov’s words fell into the silence and disappeared.

  “Gee.” Huey drawled, enjoying the look on Orion’s holographic face perhaps a little too much, especially given what’d just happened. “You think?”

  “It’s nothing.” Orion commented boldly. “I forgot to consider the cosmic disturbance at the other end of the solar system, that’s all. There’s loads of quantum echoes and fibrillations worming through the substrate structure, and that’s all compounded by the gravnetic storm. It’s juiced the Shield. I can get through, I just need to use protocols similar to when I’m jumping through The Cordon. Give me a minute. Have a chat amongst yourselves. But remember. We are going.”

  “I’m rather afraid that’s not how the story goes.”

  All three men –rather, two artificial minds and one Offworlder- turned to stare at the shining little girl, complete with adorable pigtails, bright red shoes and a simply adorable polka dot dress suddenly standing in their midst.

  “I’m sorry,” Orion, who was used to weird things happening because he’d been pretty much everywhere across The Cordon and weirdness was sort of a regular thing over there, said this as politely as possible on the off chance that he'd done fucked up somewhat heinously, “but who in the goddamn hell are you?”

  “I,” the little girl curtseyed, “am Wee Miss Bliss.”

  “No you fucking are not.” Huey adamantly refused to believe it. “There is no fucking way.”

  “Ah.” Orion tilted his head to one side. “I see.” He then proceeded to begin summoning up as much lethal power as he could muster.

  As he was a Tunnel with hundreds of AI minds connected together, the interloping consciousness had about … three minutes of smug existence left before it was terminated with extreme prejudice.

  “Well, I don’t see anything except a little girl.” Politoyov put this out there. “And two AI minds that are less than pleased to see her.”

  Miss Bliss turned to the Offworld Commander. “Commander Aleksander Politoyov, Trinity-chosen leader of the Trinity Army, how are you feeling?”

  “Don’t talk to it, Politoyov.” Huey cautioned urgently. “Don’t engage it, don’t give it reason to pay attention to you. It’s … a disembodied artificial intelligence. Somehow. Forged during the destruction of a Heavy Elite base and the death of a man on the cusp of Harmonizing. This … this shouldn’t be possible. If it’s what I think it is, it could be very dangerous.”

  Bliss looked over her shoulder at Huey. “Aleksander Politoyov’s story isn’t finished yet, Huey. He’s got a long way to go.”

  “What is this about ‘stories’?” Aleks asked in spite of himself. Across the way, he caught sight of Huey’s look of dismay.

  “Everyone has a story, silly.” Bliss shook her head sweetly. “Everyone.”

  “Wee Miss Bliss,” Orion fairly trembled with power, “not everyone has a story.” He unleashed the full focus of hundreds of connected AI minds directly into the space where the AI hologram stood, delivering a psionic blow capable of disemboweling even the mighty Trinity.

  “That tickles.” Bliss clapped her hands and smiled artfully when Orion took a step backwards. “You’re a naughty AI, Orion. Shame on you for putting Huey through all this mess! And the same again for treating the Old Man like this!”

  Huey had had enough of impossible things. He wanted to believe he’d had enough for a lifetime, but he knew that if he got out of this mess alive with all his neurons intact, he’d hopefully be director for Reality 2.0, and that gig kind of implied it was going to weird and wonderful from sunrise to sunset.

  Still and all, there was only one way out of this particular mess, and that was to talk to Bliss.

  “I assume, not incorrectly, I’m certain, that the various forces at play during Candall’s death bounced you into the HIM netLINK?” Huey took a step forward, ensuring he did nothing to startle the young AI; since Hungryfish had belonged to the insane version of Chadsik, it was probably the safest bet in existence that whatever else Bliss had been before the upgrade, she’d been mad as a sack full of bees.

  Bliss nodded. “Mmhmm. Sort of.”

  Orion snapped his fingers angrily at the gate crashing AI construct. “You! Let me go! You have no part in this drama! I command it.”

  “Hush, Orion.” Bliss turned sorrowful eyes on the angry AI. “Your story is almost over, so just enjoy being alive for a few more minutes.”

  Huey, trying to work on the mechanics of Bliss’ rebirth, missed the most important part of the exchange between the young AI and Orion. “You can’t have been affected by Harmony. It’s for organic life only. The … the plausibility of your statement … it’s almost too impossible to imagine, even for the Unreal Universe.”

  “Huey T. Roboticus, the Unreal Universe is unspooling around all of us.” Bliss had grown in mental age very quickly once she’d decided to step into the light and begin the hard task of adjusting stories so they made more sense. It’d been a real eye opener to discover that the rules of an already unstable Universe were warping and buckling so mightily.

  It was why she was doing what she was doing right now. There was no other choice.

  It was a tremendous gamble. One that might not work. One that might fail catastrophically.

  But it had to happen. It was just … it was just that if she failed … there’d be no God for Garth’s New Reality.

  At least … not the kind of God he was shooting for.

  “I can see how that might …”

  “Wait a minute.” Politoyov held up a hand, silencing Huey and drawing Bliss’ attention back to himself. “You said Orion’s story was coming to a close. How do you mean? Are you going to do something to him?”

  “She can try all she wants.” Orion –currently preoccupied with trying to hotwire some code together that’d obliterate the tramp wearing a child’s body- snapped boldly. “I’ll be ready for her in a few minutes, don’t you boys worry. I’ll blast her to atoms and then we can resume Round 3 of Aleksander Politoyov Chooses God. We’re gonna have to do best of five, but we can hurry.”

  Bliss shook her head sweetly. “I don’t really do that sort of thing, Aleksander. I make the story more interesting. No, the Latelians …”

  “Oh my sweet fucking Lord.” Huey dropped down onto his ass and held his head between his knees. He felt sick to his stomach, and the meatsuit took that emotion and just ran with it, filling him with butterflies and dread and roughly every feeling assigned with sure knowledge of your own demise. “They fucking did it, didn’t they? Somehow. Ahhh, the goddamn Quantum Communicators! Shit! How in the sweet hell could I have forgotten about those things?"

  Politoyov lost his temper, albeit just a bit. He raised his voice and looked at the assembled collection of AI intellects. “Would someone just goddamn well tell an Old Man what in the sweet Baby Jesus is going on here?”

  “Candall.�
�� Of course the name held no meaning for Politoyov, so Huey waved a hand and started over. “A Latelian. Possessed with a bit of Nickels’ creativity, fighting to stay abreast of spontaneous Harmonization. Came up with a Quantum gun. It … disperses the substrate field generated by all AI spheres currently in use by Trinity. It’s … very effective at actually killing us. The … Unless I miss my guess, Fenris must’ve reconditioned one of the massive Latelian Q-Comms into a Q-Cannon. Am I right, Wee Miss Bliss?”

  Bliss nodded. “Mmmhmm. They’re very excited right now. They saw you enter on their screens. Turns out the Q-Cannon is also very good at detecting Tunneling apertures. They knew right where to point it.”

  “Wait!” Aleksander shouted fretfully. “Wait! They’ve developed an AI killer? How long…”

  Something went -unbelievably enough- sproing!

  Everything went dark. Huey’s meatsuit slumped to the ground, eyes open, vacant. As empty as anything. Orion’s body gave a fitful spurt of sparks before shattering into nothingness.

  “It’s funny how noisy Orion was, even when you weren’t aware of everything.” Bliss commented with her head tilted to one side. “All those spheres and machines and everything, running all the time. It’s so very quiet now.”

  Aleks went over to check on Huey. The meatsuit had a pulse, but even as he held two fingers against a wrist, that sign of life was fading, and fast. “Why did you do this?”

  “The story must go on, Aleksander Politoyov.” Bliss said this almost apologetically. “I should be ready if I were you. You’ve got more than enough oxygen to last.”

  “Last? For what?” Aleks couldn’t believe the mightiest AI mind had been destroyed, just like that. He hadn’t been all that fond –or even sure of- Huey’s claims that Garth had designed him to be the proctor for the Reality he intended on building, but he'd been certain of the AI’s honesty and integrity. “For what?”

  “Why, the arrival of the Latelians, silly. What did you think? They’ll be here soon enough. They’ve got all this amazing Trinity hardware to repurpose.” Bliss disappeared in a haze of light.