Bite Me Spider

by Nora Penn

  An idea occurred to James just then. It was one of the craziest ideas he had ever had, but something told him that it just might work.

  “Carol, climb up on my back,” he instructed his daughter, while kneeling down so she could climb.

  He helped her by hoisting her higher up on his back and then used the One Direction backpack’s loose straps to secure her. The move that he was about to try was tricky, to say the least, and before he attempted it he needed to make sure that Carol couldn’t fall off.

  Holding the knife in one hand, but being sure not to jostle it, he carefully climbed up on the beast’s back. This was a very delicate procedure. The way a Black Hermit Spider is formed, there is a space on either side of its belly, between the two front legs on a side, and the two back legs on a side. The space is narrow, but there’s just enough room for a person to crawl upon the spider’s back. James did just that and sat down, with Carol sitting on the spider’s belly behind him the way a passenger rides on a motorcycle behind the driver. James took the precaution of wrapping his legs around the sides of the creature’s body to hold them in place if the spider should suddenly buck and try to toss them off.

  Once they were mounted securely on the giant spider’s back, James pushed the knife in the spider’s head forward an inch. As expected, the movement of the knife caused the spider to lurch. Its legs on both sides began to pump up and down and carried the spider and its two unexpected passengers forward.

  “Yeee hawwww!” James cried out, doing his best cowboy impression.

  “Yay Daddy!” Carol exclaimed from behind him. “We’re riding a giant spider!”

  Chapter 26

  As soon as Hannah screamed, Ben opened his tiny mouth, releasing her nipple, and screamed as well. These shrieks of terror echoed throughout the confines of the lighthouse which served as their fortress and final retreat.

  The sight that met Hannah’s frantic eyes as she peered through the porthole window was truly harrowing. Hundreds of giant spiders were approaching the lighthouse. They not only came scuttling up the driveway. They also came pouring over the fence and over the shrubs. They came in a flood of twitching black bodies and furiously pumping black legs. The sound of their hairy legs rubbing together made a weird sort of music that would give the bravest man in the world nightmares for the rest of his life. Hannah watched through the window until the beasts came pouring into the veranda, plowing through the pile of ashes that had once been Bill and the chaise lounge, and crowded the porthole window. One of the spiders put its head to the window and peered at Hannah with a cluster of unsentimental eyes. Actually, unsentimental is putting it nicely. The emotion in the spider’s eyes – and Hannah would certainly call it that, since the spiders seemed entirely capable of rational thought and emotion – was one of pure unmitigated hatred of mankind.

  Hannah had stopped screaming but Ben continued to wail at the top of his infant lungs. While she kept the child pressed against her chest, Hannah grabbed ahold of the porthole lid that could be screwed shut and began to close it.

  Before she could get the porthole lid completely closed, however, the spider outside put one of its legs through the window, sending a spray of splintered glass outward. Hannah managed to shield her child but a large piece of glass with a razor sharp broken edge grazed her exposed arm as it shot past.

  Ben started wailing in a higher register. It was a sound which tore at his mother’s heart. Hannah stepped back from the door, being careful of the scattered glass on the floor, and looked under her cupped hand to see if the baby was okay. Ben wasn’t hurt but even he could sense that things were going horribly wrong and was screaming in abject fear.

  Meanwhile, the spider’s crooked limb managed to snake its way through the broken window and into the lighthouse’s interior and was now scratching at the door’s handle which was just below the porthole. Hannah pushed her shoulder against the porthole lid to slam it shut on the spider’s leg. Even though she used enormous force, the lid wouldn’t shut. The spider’s leg was just too tough. They had grown harder as they had grown in size, apparently.

  Hannah knew that she had to act fast.

  As much as she hated to, she set little Ben down on the kitchen counter and then ran to get the bug spray and the lighter from where they had been left near the sink. She ran back to the door, lifted the spray can and ignited the lighter, spraying a large plume of flames at the spider’s leg.

  There was a shrill shrieking as the spider caught fire. The scream of the beast reminded Hannah of the cry of an eagle or a hawk although it wasn’t nearly as elegant. The scream died away and was replaced by the boiling pretzels sound of the spiders working their drooling mandibles. The spider continued to reach and scratch on the inside of the door, even though its leg had been badly singed.

  Hannah used her improvised flame thrower to send out another plume of fire. This time the spider’s leg caught fire and started crackling with flames. Even so, the giant spider continued to flailing its flaming limb, scratching at the place where it thought the door’s latch might be.

  As Hannah watched in horror, the end of the spider’s leg hooked under the door handle and pulled it upward, causing the mechanism inside to release the door. The portal was instantly thrown open, revealing the giant spider in all of its evil glory. Pure hatred gleamed in its multiple eyes and white hot drool dripped like treacle from its chewing mouth.

  Hannah wasted no time. She lifted the bug spray can and ignited the lighter, sending a large plume of fiery heat directly into the spider’s face.

  There was a scream of rage and pain such as Hannah had never heard before, and which she hoped she would never hear again. The giant spider flailed as flames engulfed its hoary head. Hannah used the opportunity to kick the door shut. Then she slammed the porthole lid and screwed it closed.

  “Whew!” she breathed a sigh of relief, looking across the room at her infant son, who had stopped crying and was now sucking his little thumb.

  Chapter 27

  Riding on the back of the giant spider took some getting used to. For one thing, there was the steering. If James pushed forward on the knife in the spider’s head, the creature crawled faster. That was easy to master. But twisting the knife to the right to make it go left, and vice versa, was counter-intuitive and took some practice to get used to. James chalked it up to how the spider’s brain was wired. At any rate, after struggling for a few minutes to get the spider to go the way he wanted James finally managed to break the beast in. On the plus side, the ride on the spider’s back was surprisingly smooth. Much smoother even than a horse. A horse tends to bounce up and down a bit as it clops its hooves. The giant spider, by contrast, kept its body perfectly steady as its eight legs lift up and down in a light pitter patter. The only downside was the eerie sound of the spider’s legs as their tiny hairs rubbed together. There was also that disgusting chewing sound.

  Riding the spider also managed to solve the problem of how to get back out of the gully. The ends of the spider’s legs must have some sort of sticky substance, James concluded, or a Velcro type texture. Whatever the case, it allowed the spider to crawl straight up the steep side of the gulch, and even to hang upside down as they crawled over the overhang. The crucial thing was for James to keep his legs wrapped tightly around the spider’s belly, and for Carol to keep her arms wrapped around her father. James worried at first that his daughter would let go, but she held on tight, and the two of them managed to ride the spider out of the gulch where they had nearly lost their lives.

  Once they were back on the highway, James operated the spider much in the way of a car or a truck. He even kept it in the right lane out of habit. Although the spider didn’t crawl as fast as a car could drive, it still covered ground at a fast clip. With the knife pushed forward all the way, which took the spider to top speed, James estimated it was scuttling along at 30 miles per hour, which of course was much faster than they could have advanced if they were on foot. This drove home a point that James
was loath to acknowledge, which is that without the spider to ride on, they certainly would be dead by now. Because even if they had managed to crawl out of the gully, the other spiders would have quickly caught up with them and devoured them. Reflecting on this, James realized just how much their survival hinged on the fickle whims of fate. He only hoped their luck would hold out.

  On the heels of these thoughts there came another somber realization, which was that once they ran into another pack of spiders, they would surely be screwed. He took this as a truism, since the spider they were riding on couldn’t be all that healthy with a knife sticking out of its head. Certainly the other spiders would be able to outrun them. On the note, James also had to wonder how long the spider would live. But for now it seemed to be doing fine. Although James noticed that whenever he took his hand off the knife and let it run on “auto pilot” the spider tended to drift to the left, as if it secretly yearned to collapse in a ditch and leave them stranded. What’s more he noticed that the knife, which throbbed slightly whenever he took his hand away, was now throbbing with less verve, perhaps indicating that the spider was running out of juice. James just hoped that the spider would carry them to the next abandoned vehicle. If they found a vehicle with the keys still in the ignition they could ditch their eight-legged steed and get back to a more traditional way of travelling. In the meantime, their motto would be “have spider will travel.”

  The landscape around them was fairly nondescript, with a scattering of leafless trees and a few low hills with houses here and there. James could tell that they were far from any metropolis, which is how he remembered this particular stretch of 95 being before crossing the state line into Connecticut. But eventually they saw a sign for an exit up ahead, advertising a Shell gas station, a McDonalds, and a 7-11. The gas station and fast food joint were obsolete, of course, but the 7-11 would be a good place for them to stock up on supplies. Even as he drove the giant spider up the off-ramp, it occurred to him to turn on some sort of signal to indicate he was changing lanes. As the thought crossed his mind he shook it from his head and smiled. Old habits die hard.

  As the spider carried them into a town, the name of which James didn’t even bother to learn, he kept his eye out for either spiders or other humans who might be scavenging about. From his experience thus far, James wasn’t sure which was worse, or which posed the greater danger. But as he thought this he reminded himself that there were still good people in the world. There was his family, of course, but there were also strangers who were willing to extend themselves to people in need. He was thinking specifically of Bill and Sonja. They were good, decent people. And they both struck him as the sort of people who would be good friends. This was important. Since rebuilding human communities would require that people stick together and rely on one another. Having these thoughts he found himself looking forward to the day when he and Bill could have a beer together and talk about life.

  Up ahead he could see the sign for the 7-11. As they approached he reflected on how he used to despise the trappings of the commercial world, all the signs and advertisements. But now he saw these same crass trappings as life savers. He never would have guessed that one day a 7-11 that hadn’t been completely looted would be as important to him as an oasis to desert wanderers.

  As they approached the 7-11, James saw that the store was dark, which was no surprise. He also noted that the pane windows were all intact, which was a good sign, suggesting that the store hadn’t yet been looted. On the downside, it might also mean that the place was locked up tight. In that case he would have to break in. He kept in mind that whatever action was required to get inside the store, he would have to do it while he remained mounted on the spider, lest the creature run off – leaving them without transportation – or even worse, turn on them and kill its masters.

  Using the knife, he guided the spider up to the front of the convenience store and then pulled back sharply on the blade to bring the creature to a complete stop. Looking at their reflection in the opaque panes of glass in the store front, James was struck by how majestic they looked atop their strange steed. The image reminded him of the Lone Ranger astride his stallion Silver, with Carol as his heroic sidekick.

  Alas, now was not the time for idle reflection. They needed to restock and get back on the road ASAP. At some point he would try to connect with Bigsby via the URH radio and then see if they could get ahold of one of the blue spiders with a black cross on its back, the spider that supposedly could cure his daughter.

  He looked over his shoulder at Carol. “Okay, sweetheart. I need you to be a big girl now and do Daddy a favor.”

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  James leaned forward and patted the back of the spider’s head to keep it calm.

  “I need you to carefully slide off the spider and go up to the door of the 7-11 and see if it’s open.”

  “If I do, can I have some candy?”

  James sighed. “Yes, dear.”

  He didn’t like asking Carol to do these things, but the fact is that he couldn’t dismount the spider without a possible catastrophe occurring, and so he had to entrust his daughter with the task.

  Carol, on the other hand, was happy to oblige. She let go of her father and nimbly dismounted the spider’s back, being careful not to brush against its hairy legs as she slid off. Her feet hit the parking lot pave with two little pats and then she ran up to the store’s front door. She pulled on the door and it opened.

  “It’s open Daddy!”

  “Okay, great. I need you to go inside and get some things for us. Put them in your backpack and then zip it up and come back out. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Daddy.”

  “We need water, first and foremost. Try to get at least ten bottles. I know it’s heavy, but it’s important. Then pick up some beef jerky and peanuts.”

  Normally he wouldn’t allow his daughter to subsist on beef jerky and peanuts, but the fact is that they were dense with calories and light to carry and would keep them going for a while longer.

  “And what about my candy?!?!” Carol whined.

  “And get yourself one candy bar. But just one!”

  “Okay, Daddy. I’ll be right back.” His daughter pulled the door open and stepped inside. James whispered a silent prayer that she would be safe. He continued to pat the spider’s head. Not because he had any affection for the creature – to the contrary, he deeply despised all spiders – but because he needed to keep it calm so that the beast wouldn’t scuttle off while Carol was inside the store.

  As Carol moved through the darkness inside the 7-11, James watched carefully, to make sure that no one was lying in wait inside the convenience store. He watched her little head bob up and down and she travelled through the aisles, looking for the items they needed.

  James was so caught up in watching his daughter that he didn’t notice the scraggly looking man walk up from the opposite side of the parking lot and lift his rifle.

  There was a sound like a thunder clap and a spray of blood splashed on James’ face.

  Chapter 28

  Outside the lighthouse’s front door, the giant spiders continued to rage. The fact that Hannah had managed to burn one of them to a total crisp served to enrage them to an even greater frenzy than before. As Hannah leaned panting against the front door, she could feel the vibrations of hundreds of spider legs scratching on the outside of the building. She thanked her lucky stars the place was comprised of large cement bricks. To her estimation the walls of the lighthouse were at least a foot thick. In fact, the lighthouse was probably the most durable structure for miles. If there was any place that could keep them safe, this was it.

  The thought crossed her mind that James and Carol were out there somewhere, in the spider infested wasteland, and she prayed that they were safe. The giant spiders seemed to travel in herds. When they were smaller, they grouped together and poured over the landscape like a black slime. And now that they were larger, they seemed to do the same. Although inst
ead of a black slime, they were like a herd of elephants trampling the landscape. She only hoped that the spiders would figure out that they couldn’t get inside the lighthouse and move on. If they decided to “wait her out” they would still be here when James and Carol – or Sonja for that matter – came back. She wished there was some way to make them scatter and never return.

  Hannah was so lost in her concerns that she didn’t notice the large gash in her arm from the broken glass from the porthole window. But she looked down and saw it now. Blood was running down her arm in dark rivulets. The gash wasn’t very deep but she was bleeding profusely. She would need to bandage the cut up, she thought, and went to search for supplies in the kitchen.

  While Ben mewed cooingly on the kitchen counter, Hannah scrounged around and found some duct tape and paper towels. There were several floors above them in the lighthouse, she reflected, and perhaps other places where medical supplies could be stored, but she decided to stay on the ground floor. She didn’t want to have to carry Ben up the rickety ladder that led to the upper floors.

  As she wrapped several layers of paper towels around her cut arm she had a harrowing thought, which was that the spiders outside might decide to climb up the sides of the lighthouse and put their legs inside the porthole windows that lined the upper stories. She hadn’t been upstairs to see how many windows there were exactly, but she distinctly remembered seeing several when they had first approached the lighthouse with Bill and Sonja. She only hoped that they were all closed with lids. Again, she didn’t want to have to carry Ben up the ladder to investigate the windows. She calmed her fears by reminding herself that she would have heard the sound of broken glass by now if the spiders had managed to get inside one of the windows.