His and Hers and Hers

by Nona Raines

  “Wait a minute. She’s my friend too. What’s the problem?”

  A rush of emotion welled up in her for the way Jordan defended her. Her throat tightened painfully.

  “Well, all right. I understand you want to be kind, but she’s such a strange thing. How can she not know where her parents are? What happened? Did they disown her?”

  “Mom, that’s none of our business. Why do you need an explanation, anyway?”

  “Well, I’m sorry. But she must have done something. Why would anybody walk away from their family?”

  Without thinking, Cassie stepped into the hallway. Her entire body felt stiff and wooden. “That’s a very good question.”

  Jordan and his mother turned, both their faces mirroring surprise. But no more surprised than she was to hear herself speak. “I’ve wondered about that myself for years. Why would someone walk away from their family? Their child? I don’t know. Maybe because they love crack more than their own kid? Because they’re weak and selfish? Because they’re sick and can’t help themselves? What do you think?”

  She didn’t wait for an answer. Mrs. Brougham’s mouth moved soundlessly, like that of a goldfish.

  “But when you’re a kid, you don’t think about those things. You think maybe it was something you did. Maybe you were bad, and that’s why Mommy and Daddy went away. That’s why strange people come and take you away to live with your grandma. Then you get older, and your grandma dies, and people come again and put you in another home. And another. And you still wonder if it’s your fault.”

  Cassie flashed a glance at Jordan. His green eyes were soft with sympathy and love. Her throat constricted so painfully she had to look away.

  “Walking away’s not even the worst thing people do. They come back. When they’re trying to get sober and are full of promises. How you’ll all be together…someday. Be a family. But they get messed up again and drop off the face of the earth. So you hate them. And you love them. You wish they’d come back, and you hope you never see them again. And you learn you can’t trust anybody.”

  “I—I didn’t—” Mrs. Brougham’s face turned bright red as she choked on her words. Cassie almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

  “So I guess you could say my parents disowned me. What terrible thing do you think I did when I was a four-year-old to make them do that?”

  “Cass.” Jordan’s voice was soft. “Cassie. Don’t.”

  She started to shake. “Excuse me.” Her words sounded garbled, as though she spoke through a mouthful of slush. She couldn’t look at Jordan, couldn’t bear to see his pity.

  She was still trembling as she rushed down the hallway, almost colliding with Kyla, who emerged from the bathroom. “Hey.” Ky’s smile faded when she saw Cassie’s face. “What’s the matter?”

  “I have to go,” Cassie said.

  “What happened?” Kyla followed her into the bedroom and closed the door.

  “I just made a scene at a family party. That’s all. I don’t belong here.”

  “Of course you do.” Kyla’s expression grew thunderous. “Did somebody say something? Who was it? Diane?”

  Heat flooded Cassie’s face at the perceptiveness of the guess. But she wouldn’t give Kyla any more reason to dislike Jordan’s mother. “It’s nothing. I just went off and made a fool of myself.” The room was hot, and Cassie felt as if she were suffocating. She frantically rummaged through the garments piled on top of the bed. “Where’s my coat?”

  “You went off? Cass, I’ve never seen you go off on anybody. Diane must have said something really shitty. If you won’t tell me, I’ll just have to go and ask her.” Kyla’s chin jutted forth in defiance.

  Cassie caught her arm. “Don’t you dare.” She wasn’t going to be responsible for any dissension between Jordan and his family. Kyla was just angry enough to blurt out something truly damaging. Close-knit they might be, but Cassie doubted the Broughams would take kindly to learning of their son’s alternative lifestyle. “I’ve already stirred up enough trouble. Don’t make it worse.”

  Kyla’s smirk was grim. “Wish I coulda seen Diane’s face when you lost your shit.”

  “Not funny, Ky.” Cassie at last found her coat and pulled it from the bed. “I’m leaving. Please make some excuse for me. And from now on, you and Jordan should come to these events strictly as a twosome. I’ll stay home.”

  Kyla began to search for her own coat. “I’m leaving with you.”

  “Kyla, please—”

  “No, I’m not going to stay here after the way they’ve treated you—”

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “Listen up.” Kyla closed the gap between them and put her hand up to Cassie’s cheek. “When somebody hurts you, it is a big deal.” Their lips were only inches away. Cassie’s nostrils tingled as they were flooded with Ky’s scent. Cinnamon.

  Kyla pressed her mouth to Cassie’s. What started as a kiss of comfort soon blazed into one of desire. Kyla threw her arms around Cassie as their tongues softly stroked and played.

  The bedroom door opened, and Jordan stepped in. “Cassie, we’re—” He stopped short as Cassie and Kyla broke apart.

  Mrs. Brougham was right behind her son. She stared at them openmouthed, her eyes round with shock. “Oh my…” She whirled away and stumbled back out the door.

  Cassie and Kyla were immobile, as though someone had shouted Freeze. They exchanged looks of horror.

  Panic zapped through Cassie like a live wire, sending her heart rate rocketing. Her legs told her to run, but her conscience wouldn’t let her move. She couldn’t let Kyla face the wrath of the entire Brougham clan by herself. And what about Jordan?

  She looked at him, pleading silently for forgiveness, as his expression turned from surprise to anger.

  “What the hell were you thinking, making out in here where anyone can walk in?” he demanded. “Couldn’t you even wait till we got home?”

  “For fuck’s sake, it was nothing like that,” Kyla said.

  “Yeah, well, what was it, then?”

  There was no time to answer as both of Jordan’s parents appeared in the doorway. Cassie’s stomach bottomed out.

  Mrs. Brougham held her chest as though she feared a heart attack. Her husband’s face was so stony it looked like it might crack at any moment.

  He spoke. “You need to leave our home.”

  Cassie and Kyla flashed each other a look. Did he mean one or both of them?

  Jordan’s father thundered like Moses on the mount. “We welcomed you into our home.” His gaze burned into Cassie. “You sat at our table, played with our grandchildren, and now you disrespect us with this…this behavior.”

  “Wait a minute,” Kyla began. Cassie’s tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth.

  “I don’t care if you’re a lesbian,” Mr. Brougham went on as though Ky weren’t there. “What you do in your bedroom is your business. But when my son befriends you, and you repay his kindness by trying to seduce his…”

  “His what?” Kyla demanded. “His lover? His paramour? His scarlet woman? Come on, Joe, spit it out!”

  “Kyla, stop.” Cassie directed her next words to Jordan’s parents. “I’m very sorry, Mr. Brougham. Mrs. Brougham. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. I’ll leave right now.”

  “Wait a minute. No.” Kyla whirled on the Broughams. “She wasn’t seducing me. I kissed her, get it?”

  Mrs. Brougham gasped in shock.

  Ky rolled her eyes. “Oh please, spare us the dramatics. I’ve kissed Cassie plenty of times. And done a lot more with her too.”

  “You cheated on our son?” Jordan’s father asked. “With another woman?”

  A little smirk danced on Kyla’s lips. “It’s not cheating if everyone’s in on it.”

  The Broughams stared at her, thunderstruck, unable to process what she’d told them.

  The showdown in the bedroom caught some attention from others in the family. A cluster of siblings and their spouses formed in the hallway. �
�What’s going on?” someone asked.

  Mrs. Brougham winced and turned away. Mr. Brougham’s mouth thinned. “Your mother—”

  Kyla finished the sentence. “Your mother walked in on me and Cassie kissing.”

  “And what do you have to say?” Jordan’s father snapped at him. “This woman and your girlfriend are having an affair—”

  “Yes, Jordan, what do you have to say?” Kyla asked. Her eyes blazed with anger, but her lips were trembling.

  “What kind of perverted relationship—”

  Jordan and Kyla spoke simultaneously. “Dad—”

  “It’s not perverted—”

  “I can’t…I can’t do this.” Mrs. Brougham broke away and tried to escape through the huddle into the hallway. “I can’t listen to this anymore.”

  “Mom…” someone murmured. Some of the siblings trailed her out of the room to comfort her. The rest remained rooted in the doorway, staring at Cassie and Kyla in openmouthed shock or tight-lipped anger.

  “Jordan.” Kyla’s voice shook. “Tell them the truth.”

  He gritted his teeth. “Ky, this isn’t the time.”

  “Why won’t you for once in your life stand up to them?”

  “What’s she talking about?” Mr. Brougham demanded.

  Cassie shook her head, sick to her stomach. She must have been crazy, kissing Kyla here, with Jordan’s family on the other side of the door. And now not only was he in the shit with his family, he and Ky were at each other’s throats.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured, unable to face any of them. She clutched her coat and tried to edge through the bedroom door.

  Kyla spoke. “Cassie, wait. I’m coming with you.”

  “Good.” Mr. Brougham’s voice sliced the air like a knife. “Both of you should go.”

  Kyla ignored the man and locked gazes with Jordan. “What about you?”

  He stood there, frozen.

  “No,” said his father. “He’s staying with his family. The people who love him. Maybe he’ll come to his senses now and realize the truth about you.”

  “Oh, really?” Kyla barked a laugh. “And what is the truth? Enlighten me, please.”

  “I know you’re nothing but a—”

  “Dad!” Jordan shouted. “Leave her alone.”

  “You’re better off without her. Your mother and I knew she was trouble from the start—”

  “Shut up, Dad. Just shut up.” His hands tightened into fists, and his lips thinned to a firm line. He drew a deep breath and spoke to Kyla. “Let me just talk to them.”

  Kyla’s lip curled in derision, and her eyebrow lifted. “Sure thing, babe. Talk yourself blue.” Defiantly, she grabbed Cassie’s hand. “We’re going home.”

  The women said nothing as they backed out of the driveway. Kyla sat stiffly in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead.

  “I’m sorry,” Cassie murmured, glancing at Kyla’s stony face.

  “Stop saying that!” Kyla shouted.

  Cassie flinched, her fingers gripping the steering wheel until they cramped. Ky’s pinched features softened with remorse.

  “Just don’t say you’re sorry. It’s like you think we’re a mistake. I’m not sorry.” Ky slumped against the seat, completely done in.

  Cassie’s glance crept her way. “Don’t be angry at him.”

  Kyla huffed a laugh. “At who?”

  “Jordan.”

  “Jordan.” Kyla crossed her arms in front of her chest as though she were freezing. “He’s supposed to love me, but when the time comes to prove it, he knuckles under to his family. As always.”

  “He does love you.”

  “He’s got some fucking way of showing it.” As though she’d shut down, Ky said no more. When they were almost to her place, she came to attention. “I don’t want to go home.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t take me home. Take me to your place.”

  Cassie hesitated. “Ky—”

  “Please. I’m just too angry right now. I can’t deal with him tonight.”

  Cassie didn’t know what to do. It didn’t seem right to desert Jordan on Christmas, of all days. But maybe he and Kyla needed a little time apart, so they could both cool down. “All right.”

  She only hoped she was doing the right thing.

  * * * *

  Later that evening, while Kyla took a shower and Cassie got ready for bed, her cell phone rang. It was Jordan.

  “Hey, Cass. Ky’s not answering her phone, so I thought I’d try you.”

  Cassie sat on the edge of her bed, overwhelmed with guilt and relief. “Jordan, I’m so sorry about today.”

  “Yeah, well.” He sounded exhausted. “It’s quite the mess, isn’t it?”

  She dreaded asking the next question, but knew she had to. “How are your parents?”

  He gave a short laugh. “Pissed off. Confused. Threw about a million questions at me.”

  She gripped the phone tighter. “What did you say?”

  “I told them I was an adult and didn’t have to explain myself to anyone.”

  “I’m so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. It wasn’t planned, I swear—”

  Another sardonic laugh. “You just couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

  A hot rush of remorse hit her—not for kissing Kyla, but for leaving Jordan to deal with the aftermath.

  “I could have handled it better,” he said. “But it all came at me at once, you know?” He sighed. “I don’t suppose you could convince Ky to talk to me.”

  “Right now she’s in the shower. She’s staying here tonight. Why don’t you try her tomorrow?”

  “She’s still pissed at me, huh? That’s my baby.” His tone was light, but Cassie knew he was hurt. “Look, I’m sorry you overheard all that crap my mother had to say. She was sorry too, and embarrassed. She meant to apologize when she…”

  “When she saw me and Kyla.”

  “Yeah. I knew you were in foster care, Kyla told me, but I had no idea—”

  “It was a long time ago,” she told him. “It’s really not important.”

  “Yes, it is. You’re important.”

  Her chest tightened as she remembered that Kyla had said much the same thing earlier today. She cleared her throat. “It’s you I’m worried about, Jordan. You and Kyla.”

  “Don’t worry, honey,” he told her. “We’ll work it out. If she ever speaks to me again.”

  “She will. Just give her a little more time.”

  “Guess I’ve got no choice.”

  “She loves you, Jordan.”

  “And how about you, Cass? Do you love me too?”

  A suffocating sense of panic filled her. “I hear Kyla coming, Jordan. I have to go.” Cassie ended the call quickly and took a deep breath to calm herself while Kyla remained in the shower.

  Chapter Eleven

  They were seated in Cassie’s living room when Kyla’s phone buzzed. Ky glanced at it on the lamp table, then turned her attention back to the magazine on her lap.

  “You’re not going to pick up?” Cassie asked.

  Ky flipped the page. “Nope.”

  Cassie clicked the television off with the remote and stared at Ky, who blinked back.

  “What? Watch your movie.”

  “I’ve seen it already. This is getting stupid, Ky. It’s been two days. You’ve got to talk to him sometime,” Cassie said.

  “I will.” Kyla gazed down at the magazine. Though she tried to seem cool and collected, her jiggling leg and impatient shifting told a different story. “When he’s ready to tell me what I need to hear.”

  “And what’s that?” Kyla’s self-righteousness was getting hard to handle. “That he’s disowned his family?”

  “I want to know that he’s told them the truth. That he’s stood up to them. That he’s behaved like a man instead of a puppy that’s afraid of being kicked.”

  “That’s not fair, Kyla. Everything’s not black and white, you know. You’re hiding from h
im here—”

  Kyla tossed the magazine angrily onto the cushion beside her. “All right, I know I’m a pain in the ass, infringing on your privacy and all that. Fine. I’ll just get my things and leave.”

  Hope surged through Cassie. “And go back home?”

  “No. Not until Jordan gets his shit together. I’ll go to a motel or something.”

  Cassie’s temper snapped like a dry twig. “Oh, cut the drama-queen crap, Kyla. You know I don’t mind you staying here, but what’s the point of this game you’re playing?”

  Kyla’s eyes blazed. “I’m not playing. I’m sick of him always being fair and balanced when his family turns up their noses at me. I’ve put up with it for years. But you shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t have to anymore. Well, the hell with it. This time I want him to pick a side. Our side.” She spoke through clenched teeth. “I’m tired of fighting battles on my own.”

  Cassie realized that Kyla was talking about more than this recent argument with Jordan. “You’re not on your own, Ky.”

  “I’ve always been on my own. Jordan doesn’t get it. Him and his big, happy family. Anything that goes wrong in the Brougham family gets settled with a few hugs and kisses. That’s not how it was at the Densters’. My father beat the crap out my mother for years. When the old man dropped dead, she married another guy who did the same thing. My sister and I had to look out for ourselves—Mom was too busy dodging somebody’s fists to pay us any mind. I fought like hell to get out of that lousy house, to get an education. A good job. To be able to take care of myself. I was never going to be like her.”

  “And you’ve done that. You’re nothing like her. You’re strong.”

  Kyla slumped back into the cushions. “I’m tired. Tired of always being strong. I need someone else to be strong for a while.”

  Kyla was a fighter. She’d battled the selfishness of her parents and the indifference of an uncaring world. She’d pulled herself out of the muck with only guts and determination on her side. But even the toughest fighter could find herself on the ropes.

  “I’d think you of anyone would understand.” Kyla spoke quietly. “You had it rough, coming up. You know how it is. You ought to be on my side.”