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Sweet but Sexy Boxed Set

Page 20

by Maddie James


  Still, calling Nate for help was her first thought when she found her father.

  Seeing him on the bathroom floor and not being able to help him struck a panic. Feeling helpless, she wanted Nate’s strong arms around her again.

  If only…

  Several moments later, the ambulance came to a full stop. Hailey heard the doors to the cab slam. “I think we’re at the hospital. The doctors are going to help you.”

  Her father’s only response was to moan. At least he wasn’t crying out, but Hailey now doubted that he was fully aware of his surroundings.

  The back doors flung open. The paramedic nudged at her shoulder. “Go ahead and jump down so we can get him out.”

  She followed orders, and walked the few short steps to the hospital bay doors. Folding her arms in front of her chest, she waited. So focused on her father’s care, she didn’t realize Nate was there until his hand brushed her shoulder.

  “How did you beat us here?” It was all she could think to say.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “You called and I came.”

  Her first urge was to step closer, lean on him for emotional support, but even though they’d had a nice long talk at his place earlier, it still felt like there was a divide between them. She pushed her hands into her pockets in order to resist the urge to touch him. “I appreciate it.”

  “I’m so sorry. Your dad is a good man.”

  “Why didn’t I listen to Jake? He told me not to leave him alone for too long.”

  “You didn’t know something bad would happen.”

  She took a couple of steps toward the ambulance. “What did you say about my big-city, rose-colored glasses?”

  “You staying home wouldn’t necessarily have prevented the fall.”

  She knew Nate was right—it wasn’t as if she’d been following her father into the bathroom—but it didn’t lessen the shadow of guilt that darkened her already dim spirit. “But he wouldn’t have been all alone and in pain for so long.”

  “You weren’t at my place for more than an hour. He couldn’t have been down that long.”

  She turned back toward Nate and really looked at him. He’d answered her plea for help, even though she’d turned and ran from him. More than once. “I’m not sure why I called you.”

  “I’m glad you did.”

  She wondered if that kiss she had wanted for so long had meant something to him. She was still trying to sort out her frayed emotions but knew that it felt more right than any other decision she’d made since her mother had passed away.

  But it wasn’t only her life that had changed.

  Realizing he was alone, she asked, “Where is Lori?”

  “Anna came home after you left. She could babysit.”

  Jake approached the two of them as the paramedics brought her father out of the back of the ambulance.

  “What happened?”

  She crossed her arms and took a step away from him. Toward Nate. “I told you on the phone. He fell.”

  “You said you left him alone. For how long?”

  “I went to talk to Nate, about the house,” Hailey said.

  Nate continued where she stopped. “She was at my place an hour at the most.”

  Jake scrapped his hand across his chin. “Obviously it was too long.”

  “Just what I need, more guilt. I’m sorry. You were right. Is that what you want to hear?”

  “I don’t want to be right. I just want you to understand how serious this is. I want you to realize Kelly and I haven’t been overreacting.”

  Hailey now knew she was the one who’d been misreading the situation. She’d been in denial over her father because it was hard enough to lose one parent. She didn’t want to think about the other one slipping away. “I see that now. He’s asking for mom.”

  Before Jake could respond, a nurse with a familiar face that Hailey couldn’t put a name to approached them. Thankfully, she started talking to Jake, and let Hailey hide behind her veil of embarrassment and remorse. She turned, taking a few steps away from them.

  Within seconds, strong hands came to rest on her shoulders. She didn’t have to turn to know it was Nate. The way he gripped her might have given it away, or the combined scents of strong soap and the aftershave that had been making her light-headed at his house, but it was something more than that.

  “Your brother is just angry and frustrated with the situation.”

  “I don’t deserve your kindness. Not after everything that’s happened between us.”

  “You apologized. We’re moving forward. Right?” He put a gentle pressure on her shoulders, guiding her to face him.

  She did without fighting.

  “Right now isn’t the time, but you’re not leaving town until we talk about what happened earlier tonight.”

  In a moment of weakness, she’d given in to her desires and expressed the yearnings that still burned inside her. He didn’t seem angry about it—he wasn’t showing any emotion at all—but he was making it clear there were not going to be any more loose ends.

  He’d drawn a line in the sand and insisted upon resolution.

  If only she could figure out what resolution her heart really wanted.

  ****

  Hailey and Jake followed the nurse back into the pre-op area. They’d been told the doctor would give them a brief update before taking their father to surgery. She’d asked Nate to come along, but he opted out, whispering in her ear that there wasn’t a place for him in the family discussion.

  The doctor stood near a nurses’ station, all of the beds in the room were empty.

  “Where’s my dad?” Hailey asked.

  “They’ve already taken him down to surgery.” The doctor barely looked up from their father’s chart as they approached. “It’s going to take about two hours for me to get the hip set. With the anesthesia and the follow-up pain medications, you shouldn’t expect to see him again until morning. My best estimate for recovery time is a few days here in the hospital, and then another ten days to two weeks in a rehab facility. After that he’s going to require around-the-clock care for quite some time.”

  Jake spoke before Hailey could. “He won’t be going home. He was set to go to Pioneer next week. Can he transition from rehab to there?”

  The doctor nodded. “Looking at his medical records, I think that’s a very wise choice.”

  Hailey closed her eyes and took one step away. “I feel so guilty. Is there anything I can personally do to help him recover?” Hailey said.

  Jake spoke through clenched teeth. “Please. Don’t reopen this. These decisions have been made.”

  “I know he can’t come home, but does that mean I can’t help with his recovery at all?”

  The doctor turned his focus to Hailey, despite Jake’s vocal dissention. “Often, traumatic injuries—like he’s suffered tonight—lead to an even more rapid decline in general health. But, you can still play an active role in his recovery if you want. Most of the therapists here at the hospital don’t mind family members being part of the process by helping with the exercises and being encouraging.”

  Hailey nodded her response. She could do what he suggested, and knew that taking an active role would be a good way to deal with her mounting guilt about being absent.

  After the doctor left the two of them alone in the empty pre-op room. Hailey felt as if Jake was staring clear through her, looking into her conflicted heart. She started to turn and retreat to the waiting room, but his voice called her back.

  “There’s something going on with you.” It wasn’t a question. His voice was softer, resembling that of the big brother she remembered of their youth, when he was her protector.

  “I just hate this.”

  “We all do. But I get a feeling it’s more than that. You’ve been moody. Withdrawn.”

  “I’ve been really homesick for a while now. I feel like Dad needs me. Maybe I should move home and help you and Kelly take care of him.”

  “You said that last night
. But what about your job?”

  Hailey rubbed her temples as she moved toward a chair next to one of the beds. She dropped to the seat and struggled with the voice in her gut saying it was time to come clean with her family. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t find the strength or the words to say that she’d failed.

  Quickly, she ran the numbers in her head. There was enough money in her savings account to cover six weeks’ worth of bills. She could go back to the city and continue her job search second-guessing if that’s where she belonged, or she could stay in town, help with her father’s care, and explore those feelings about Nate that refused to diminish. If she stayed, she could search for a job via the phone and internet.

  “I don’t have a job.”

  By the look on Jake’s face, she’d just said the last thing he ever expected.

  “I got fired just before Thanksgiving. I’ve been trying to find something else.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “I didn’t want anyone to think I failed. I figured I would find another job and then I could tell you all about what happened.”

  “Why did they fire you?”

  “Because they wanted me to drop a case that wouldn’t have a huge payoff. They didn’t care that my client deserved to be heard. I wanted to go into law to help people, but oftentimes the final decision on what cases we took and what we let go were determined by the prospective payoff.”

  “If you weren’t happy, why did you lead us to believe you were?”

  “Don’t get me wrong. I was happy for a while. College and law school challenged me. The neighborhood I live in is wonderful, all these little hide-a-way shops the likes of which you’d never find around here. I always missed home though, and over time, I’ve become disillusioned with what I’m doing.”

  Her brother crossed to stand in front of her. “I think it’s normal to feel nostalgic, maybe even a little homesick, around the holidays. We’ve had a rough year with Mom—and now Dad—but you’ve worked too hard to give up on your career over a rough patch.”

  Those words of praise eased the sharp pain that had been cutting through her stomach for months now. “You don’t think I should move home?”

  “I don’t think you’re in a good place to make such a big decision. I think you need to put some time and distance between this pain and your choices.”

  “I don’t want to give up on my career. I like what I do. But, I can job hunt from here while I help with Dad’s care.”

  “How does Nate Jenkins fit into all of this?”

  The complete honesty with her brother had lifted a huge weight and she wanted to continue the transparency, but she just wasn’t sure how to answer that question. She shrugged.

  “Did you call him when you found Dad?”

  Hailey nodded.

  “Why?”

  “We were good friends once. I’d just left his house.” Both were accurate statements, but they only scratched the surface of what she was feeling.

  “I don’t think you realize everything he’s been through since your high school days. I know that it was a long time ago, but you hurt him once. Don’t repeat history. He’s a good guy and doesn’t need you stirring up past flames while you sort out your restlessness.”

  “Maybe I’ll decide to stay here.”

  “Do you really think that’s a possibility?”

  She shook her head and walked by her brother toward the door before pausing and turning back. “It’s an option, but no. I don’t know for sure.”

  “All I’m saying is don’t make things more complicated than they have to be.”

  When her brother approached her with open arms, she went to him.

  “We’re here for you. Okay? We’re family. You can tell us what’s going on with you. All of it. Not just the good stuff.”

  “Thanks,” She hugged his neck a little tighter. “And I’ll think about what you’ve said.”

  Knowing their dad would be out of it the rest of the night, Jake decided to leave, but Hailey wanted to stay until her father was out of surgery.

  It wasn’t fair to ask Nate to do the same though and she went in search of him.

  When she walked into the waiting room, Nate stood and approached, meeting her half way. “Is everything all right?”

  She recounted the conversations with the doctor, censoring out the bit about coming clean with Jake about her unemployment. “I want to stay here until the surgery is over, but you should go on home. I know you have to work tomorrow and you have Lori there who needs you.”

  Nate reached out for her hand. When she gave it to him, he tugged slightly, pulling her closer, then bent over and whispered in her ear. “While we wait for your dad to come out of surgery, we can go have that talk.”

  Chapter Nine

  Nate fished his wallet out of his back pocket and handed the woman at the register a five-dollar bill, despite Hailey’s protests that she should be the one to buy the coffee.

  It wasn’t about being a gentleman or any macho baggage like that. Not only had Hailey been through a rough night, but it seemed she’d been drowning in a sea of guilt and regret for a lot longer than the last few days.

  She slid into the chair and rested elbows on the table before cradling her head in her hands. Nate eased back and resisted pulling her close by pushing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. Yes, she’d opened that door at his house, but as far as he knew, she was still headed back to New York at the end of the week.

  Even if he was willing to risk his heart, roll the dice, and revisit the past for a few days, he didn’t have room in his heart for anything casual or fleeting. Maybe he could weather having her briefly, but Lori didn’t need any more temporary people in her life. His only choice was to put his daughter’s needs above his own desires.

  “Your dad’s broken hip isn’t your fault.” True but so trite. Couldn’t he come up with anything better to say than that?

  “I’m so stupid.” Hailey sat back and met his gaze.

  He shook his head and pressed his fingertips into his hipbones, still resisting his urge to touch her.

  “I was scared back then. I left because I was afraid that if I stayed in town one more minute, I’d give up everything I’d worked so damn hard for to be with you.”

  Emotions that seemed to have been knotted up inside her for years, spilled out on her tear-soaked words.

  Nate swallowed hard. Her admission slashed at the walls he’d built to compartmentalize his pain. As much as he wanted answers, he didn’t realize she could open up those wounds in his heart with a few simple words. “I just want to leave the past back there. It was a long time ago.”

  “It doesn’t feel that way when I look at you.” She paused. Her voice dropped. Even though they were mostly alone in the room, it was obvious these words were for his ears only.

  “When I kissed you tonight, it was as intense as it was back then.”

  “We’re not kids anymore. You live seven hundred miles away.” Yeah, he’d done the math. Several times.

  “Are you saying that if I asked for a do-over, you’d turn me down?”

  “We can’t go back in time.”

  “I know now that Dad needs to go to Pioneer. I can’t take care of him on my own, but I don’t want to leave him when he needs his family. I’m going to stay in town and help him through his rehab. That would give us six weeks to explore these feelings between us. See if there is anything to salvage.”

  She had feelings too?

  Nate let his eyes drift closed. Maybe she had a point. Nothing else he’d tried to do since high school had successfully put her out of his mind or heart, not even dating other women or raising his daughter.

  But, so much time had passed. They didn’t even know each other anymore.

  Did they?

  “There hasn’t been anything between us for eight years except for one kiss tonight. Not even a conversation.”

  “I’ve tried to forget you. I just wasn’t ever successf
ul.”

  “I can’t be a shelter in a storm, or someone you use to get over whatever crap you’re going through.” No longer able to resist, he reached across the table and took her hand. “I don’t have the luxury of being carefree. As much as I would love to jump in headfirst without thinking and just see where it takes us, that’s not fair to my daughter. I can’t let her become attached to you. Sooner rather than later you’re going back to New York. Right?”

  “Unless I come up with another reason to stay.”

  Nate didn’t miss the innuendo in her voice but believed it wasn’t anything more than flirting. He needed to stay grounded in reality. “You’re too good at what you do and have worked too hard to just walk away.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  Sometimes he wondered if he held on to that thought because it softened the sting of rejection, but he couldn’t say that. He wasn’t ready to admit how much he’d longed for her. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders. “It’s what your brother and sister always say.”

  “They don’t know what’s going on with me. Not really. After Mom died, I began to see how much I’d separated myself from everything that really mattered—the people I loved, my family. I began to realize how lonely I am.”

  Nate swallowed the lump forming in his throat. She was making a damn good argument for taking a chance and exploring their feelings, but the part of him that had been taught by Hailey and Lori’s mom not to trust still hesitated. “Are you saying that you might move back here permanently?”

  “Private practice is an option I’m toying with.” She pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose. “If I would have done it eighteen months ago, I would have had so much more time to spend with my mom in her final year.”

  “If you want to open your own business, then you should go for it. Don’t let anything stand in the way of your dreams.”

  “That’s what you used to say when we were in school.”

  He dropped his chin and rubbed the back of his neck. “I still believe that.” It sort of surprised him he did. Had he been following the advice?

  “What if another chance with you is part of that dream?”

 

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