Sweet but Sexy Boxed Set
Page 48
“Colleen,” Kelly whispered and slumped against the sink, feeling anguish so deep that it threatened to overcome her remaining control.
****
Kelly walked zombie-like down the staircase to the entrance foyer. Outside the candlelit garden was a-buzz with music and activity. Inside however, the rooms were shadowy and quiet in the growing dusk.
She paused and drew a deep breath trying to mollify the jumbled emotions coursing through her heart and mind. With no place left to hide, Kelly faced a dilemma. Did she tell the truth? Was it too late? Would C.B.—Colleen—and Rob ever forgive her?
Her instinct said no. She must continue to keep her secret. It was her default position. She knew nothing else. Kelly rubbed her damp palms down the slick skirt of her royal blue dress.
What am I going to do?
A movement in the living room drew her attention. She glanced into the dark room and recognized Rob sitting silently in the shadows facing the huge flower arrangement where the wedding had taken place. He was slumped forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. When she sat down beside him, he didn’t move.
An inscrutable silence followed. Kelly inhaled sharply as it lengthened. Had he learned the truth? What was wrong? Sensing his tension, she touched his shoulder.
Rob aroused long enough to glance her way. His face was ashen, his blue eyes glassy.
“God, Kelly,” he said in a voice that could break a heart.
For a split second, Kelly wanted to run, but this was Rob. Something troubled him.
“What’s wrong?” She dreaded the answer, but she couldn’t leave him.
He sat back in the chair and stared at the ceiling. Finally he said, “Jessica is pregnant.”
“What?” Kelly placed her hand on his knee. “You told me she didn’t want children.”
Rob rubbed a hand down his face. “After she miscarried, she told me she didn’t want to be a mother. She made me feel guilty, as if it was my fault she lost the baby. She called me a failure. It’s the one thing I wanted that I could never have.”
“But she’s pregnant now?”
“Yes, second trimester. It didn’t take her new husband long to do what I couldn’t do in ten years. And of course, she called tonight to gloat. The bitch.”
Rob’s anger was laced with sorrow and regret. Kelly understood. He had been betrayed by a woman he loved.
Just as I betrayed him so many years ago.
No! She’d been the victim! Wronged by Rob’s mother and then her father—a casualty of circumstances. She had been the one who had lived with the mistake.
And the one who had reaped the reward, for Colleen Baron had been the prize of a lifetime, a gift Rob had never been given.
Kelly removed her hand from Rob’s knee and stirred uneasily in the chair. “Life’s not fair,” she said in a voice she hardly recognized.
“You can say that again.” He brushed a gaze full of bitterness across her face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He sat up straight, manning up. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.”
“But you shouldn’t have to. Jessica shouldn’t treat you like this. You don’t deserve it, Rob.” Her annoyance increased. “You would have been a wonderful father.”
“Like you are a wonderful mother.” For an instant his glance sharpened.
Kelly dropped her gaze afraid to meet his eyes. “I don’t know about that.”
“I know. C.B. is proof of the good job you did.”
“Colleen,” Kelly muttered. “She wants to be called ‘Colleen.’”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” He reached out and caught her hand in his. “You’ve found the strength inside to go it alone under difficult circumstances. You not only survived, but thrived. You’re a remarkable woman, Kelly Baron.”
Dangerously close to tears, Kelly shook her head and pulled her hand away.
“Come home with me tonight, Kel. I love you. I need you.”
She looked up, disoriented. There was vulnerability in his eyes she had never seen before. No, she had to cut him off. Life wasn’t fair. She had already done enough damage where Rob was concerned. She wasn’t worthy of his misplaced trust and love.
“I can’t.” Her voice rose sounding steely. “I’m leaving for North Carolina bright and early in the morning.”
****
The party broke up thirty minutes later. Mr. and Mrs. Howard Scott left for their honeymoon to a chorus of well-wishes and a shower of rose petals. Colleen and Daniel left to return home. There was strain in their departure, a strain that broke Kelly’s heart.
After the other relatives said their good-byes, Rob and Kelly were alone except for the catering staff doing the clean-up.
“Go home, Kelly,” Rob ordered in a tired voice devoid of emotion. “I’ll straighten up and lock the doors after the caterer is done.”
Kelly glanced around the bright living room. The earlier shadows were gone. “Okay, if you think I’m not needed.”
“No,” he said with a pointed stare. “You’re not needed. Not much chance I’ll screw this up.”
She dropped her eyes before his steady gaze and battled with overwhelming remorse. “I’ll see you then.”
“Sure.” Rob turned his back.
Nothing remained for her to do but walk to her car and drive away.
****
Her mother’s house was dark and uninviting. The ghost-like boxes in the living room stacked for Rob’s yard sale filled the room with a disembodied presence and contributed to the eerie silence. Kelly mounted the stairs to her bedroom. She changed out of her fancy dress, putting on shorts and a T-shirt.
Should she start for North Carolina tonight? Kelly truly didn’t know what to do. Her life had no purpose. Or hope.
Without hope, what do I have?
Her shoulders sagged under the weight of her anguish. Legs collapsing under her, Kelly sank to her bed, wrapped her arms around herself and cried. Sobs wracked her body. She lowered her head to her pillow, pulled her legs up, curling in a fetal position, and poured out her sorrow until there were no tears left.
Rob was hurting. It was her fault. Her nurturing instinct compelled her to make it better, as if she could kiss his bruises and make the pain go away.
How? She had no power. No control, and she didn’t trust the outcome.
A far-away voice rang in her ears. “Believe in yourself, Kelly,” her great-aunt had said, urging her to take risks.
But believing had always been hard. Kelly had always felt vulnerable. Inadequate.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Rob had told her. “You’re a remarkable woman.”
Rob had recognized her lack of self-confidence. Aunt Bess too. Her mother knew she was unhappy and tried to help. Even Rachel had pinpointed her fear of taking action. “Life just doesn’t happen,” Rachel had said. “You must create what you want out of it.”
What do I want?
Kelly sat up and wiped away her tears. She was sick from the struggle within and longed for peace and closure…and love.
I want Rob.
“I bet if you chase him a little, you can catch him,” Colleen had suggested.
Staring at the empty walls, Kelly knew the only way she could ever catch Rob was to tell him the truth. It was a risk. He might hate her. Yet anything was better than the empty, soulless life she was leading.
She sucked in a huge breath. Telling Rob meant telling Colleen. Could she face her daughter’s anger? Kelly shut her eyes.
She had faced Colleen’s anger tonight. As Rob said, she had survived.
I’ve always survived.
Kelly opened her eyes and climbed to her feet. She needed to ease Rob’s hurt and help him understand he wasn’t a failure. He had a child, a beautiful daughter who needed him as much as he needed her.
Maybe somewhere in this mess, Kelly could create a new future from the ashes of the past.
Chapter Fifteen
Fear cramped her stomach, and her limbs felt weak. Her sandals crunching on the gravel path, she could hardly walk toward Rob’s log cabin. The distant noise of insects buzzing in the dead, country silence was the only other sound she heard.
Kelly stepped up one short step to the front porch and pushed the doorbell without hesitation. If she thought about it, she might turn away. Sucking in a huge breath, Kelly waited, rocking back on her heels and trying to control her trepidation.
The door opened. Light from the great room flooded the porch, blinding Kelly for a moment. Rob stood quietly at the threshold, surprise glinting in his eyes until he hid it behind hooded eyelashes.
“You invited me,” Kelly said, her voice cracking.
Rob stared until her skin prickled. When he didn’t speak, she asked, “May I come in?”
He stepped back from the door. Kelly marched past him with a confidence she didn’t feel. She turned in the middle of the great room and watched Rob slowly shut the front door.
He turned and made eye contact. She fought to keep her chin high and shoulders squared.
How do I tell him? What do I say?
“I thought you were leaving.” His statement was an indictment.
Kelly cleared her throat. “I am. But I have something to tell you first.”
He nodded toward the sofa. “Have a seat.”
Kelly sat down hard, feeling as uncomfortable as a grade school kid in the principal’s office. She clutched her hands in her lap. This time Rob took the easy chair, pushing back and propping his feet on the ottoman, as if he had no care in the world.
This didn’t bode well. “I don’t know where to begin,” she said begging for his understanding.
“Start at the beginning.”
He gave no quarter, not in his posture or his direct gaze.
Heart surging into her throat, Kelly hesitated, looking away. She wrung her hands.
Get on with it. You came to confess. Do it!
Eyes remaining downcast in fear, she said softly, “I learned something on this trip home.” Kelly glanced up at Rob’s stony face. “My mother confessed something to me before she married your father.”
He said nothing. She dropped her gaze again to her hands.
“She told me that she and my father had to get married, because she was pregnant with me.” Kelly raced on, “And that’s why he treated me the way he did while I was growing up. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to me.”
Rob dropped his feet to the floor and sat up. She had his attention. “That’s why he made you wear those ugly clothes and stupid hair style?”
Kelly nodded. “Yes.”
“But you got pregnant anyway.”
Kelly nodded again. Feeling her heart contract with the weight of her admission, she moved uneasily on the sofa. “Ironic isn’t it?”
“It is a cruel irony.” Rob stood up and crossed over to the sofa. He sat down next to her and took her hand, squeezing it gently.
She straightened her back and looked away. “He was angry with me and disappointed. I can see that now.”
“You didn’t deserve his anger. I can’t believe he wanted you to get an abortion. I would never have asked that of you.”
Kelly’s lower lip quivered. “Oh, God, Rob. I’ve so misjudged you.”
He caressed her cheek. “No crying now. It’s over.”
“I haven’t told you everything.” Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I’m listening.”
“I’ve never said this out loud to anyone. I don’t know how to tell you.”
Rob pulled her toward him, wrapping her in his arms. She snuggled close, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. His action gave her strength to go on.
“I did so many things wrong back then, Rob,” Kelly admitted with a sob. “I deceived everyone, and once I started on that path, I didn’t—couldn’t—deviate. I thought only about C.B., ‘er, Colleen. I had to keep her safe. I had to protect her.”
“You did a wonderful job,” Rob murmured and kissed her forehead.
“But I should have done it differently. I couldn’t. Not then. Not at eighteen. Not after your mother warned me away from you.”
“My mother?”
Kelly tried to draw away, but he wouldn’t let her go, continuing to hold her in his arms. She started to cry—long, heaving sobs that took her breath away. “Oh, God, Rob, I’ve hurt you and C.B. so much. It wasn’t fair, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
Rob didn’t speak, but there was a noticeable shift in his posture—a pause as if he knew what was coming.
“Before you went away to college, your mother had told me to stay away from you. My father wanted C.B. dead.” Words tumbled from Kelly’s lips. “The only person who understood was Aunt Bess. So I just packed my bags one day and got on a bus to Louisville. Aunt Bess took me in.”
She made one more try to pull away. Rob’s arms were like steel bands holding her. “Oh, Rob, it could have been different. I see that now. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I know now you would have done the right thing.”
She felt Rob’s breathing hitch. He put his hands on her shoulders and gently shoved her back so he could look in her eyes.
“What are you saying to me, Kelly?” he asked quietly.
Kelly placed a hand to his T-shirt, feeling the wet spot she’d made with her tears. “I’m trying to tell you that Colleen is your child.”
“But you said there were others.” Rob’s hushed voice held disbelief.
She shook her head. “There never was anyone else. Only you. I lied. I was afraid you’d hate me for never telling you.”
He didn’t say anything.
She pushed back, curling her trembling fingers into the fabric of the T-shirt as she raised her gaze to his face. “Maybe you do hate me. I’ll understand if you do.” Kelly swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Rob” She drew in a deep shuddering breath. “Maybe I better go now.”
“I’m a father?”
She nodded and wiped away her tears. “Yes.”
“Colleen?”
“Yes.”
“I thought she looked like my grandmother.” His smile radiated down on Kelly. “I knew I was the only one in high school.”
“Yes.” She smiled up at him.
“My God, Kelly, I’m really a father?”
Nodding again, Kelly touched his cheek. “I’m sorry you’ve lost so many years. I’m sorry you never knew our daughter before tonight.”
He caught her hand and kissed it. “I can’t believe this! But I do believe it, because I believe in you, back in high school and today. Kelly Baron, you are one remarkable, loving woman.”
Shame rushed through her. She didn’t deserve his words. “I did the best I could.”
“I should have been there for you.” Rob squeezed her hand.
“You didn’t know.”
He shook his head. “I should have suspected, but when you never came to me, it was easier to assume I had nothing to do with your baby.”
Rob dropped her hand and ran his fingers through his hair, tousling his blond locks like a small, anxious boy. “My mother was a strong woman. You know that. She had big plans for me, and it was easier to go with the flow. I’m sorry she hassled you, Kel. If I’d known, I might have mustered some courage, but I sorely lacked it at the time.” He took a breath. “I might have stood up to my mother and things would be different today.”
Rob kissed her, his fingers cupping her face, his lips demanding and quick, full of emotion and longing. “I’m so sorry, Kelly, for screwing up your life.”
“You didn’t screw up my life,” she replied. “I had Colleen.”
“You’re too generous.” Rob gazed lovingly into her eyes. “I’m at fault in this too.” Kissing her once more, he murmured, “Marry me.”
“Marry you?�
�� she muttered back, hardly understanding or daring to hope.
“I have to marry the mother of my child.”
“But she’s all grown up.”
“All the better.” He kissed her long and hard. “We don’t have to deal with diapers.”
Kelly choked and pulled away. “Are you crazy?”
“No, serious.”
“Seriously?” She shuddered, hope fluttering in her heart.
“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
Joy overcoming her, Kelly threw her arms around Rob’s neck. He surrounded her with his embrace, and for the first time in her life, Kelly felt safe and secure. She liked that feeling. She was finally home.
“I suppose I’ll have to call Rachel and tell her I’m not coming to North Carolina,” Kelly said already thinking ahead.
“You’d better.” His fingers found the front-clasp of her bra under her T-shirt.
The heat and vitality of the man pulsed against her sensitive breasts. She gasped a breath. “Then I suppose we’d better go to Louisville and talk to Colleen.”
“We will,” he said, pressing his lips against hers again in a needy affirmation. “Tomorrow.”
Kelly gasped again. “Tomorrow.”
“I love you, Kelly Barron.”
“I love you too, Rob Scott.”
Epilogue
One year later
Louisville
“We’re an alert-looking bunch,” Kelly drawled, smile on her lips and happiness in her heart. She looked down at Grace, Howie, and Daniel’s parents who sat in a line of maternity waiting room chairs. Every tired eye was focused on the door to the labor and delivery rooms.
Rob sat at the end of the line, his long legs stretched out in front of him. She handed him a frosty can of Coke from the vending machine and sat down beside him in a hard hospital chair.
After nine long months, three with morning sickness, Colleen was finally in labor. The whole family had been waiting since noon, spending time in the labor room with the expectant couple until being asked to leave forty minutes ago. First babies were notorious for taking their sweet time, but this one, apparently was on his or her way.
Part of tonight’s excitement was the suspense of learning the gender of the new baby. Colleen and Daniel had insisted on being old-fashioned and had refused to find out during the routine ultrasound. They had wanted to be surprised, but it was killing Kelly.