Bad for You

by J. Daniels

  Go figure.

  It was a lot, but I had a plan. I’d split my time between the two, driving back and forth so I wouldn’t be choosing between my brothers, and I figured depending on the length of Dominic’s scrimmage, I could stay for the end of Eli’s practice and take him to the other field so we could both watch Dom.

  The plan was simple. It was also one that could work.

  However, life seemed to have a wild hare up its ass about me lately, so even though I felt good about this plan, I still had a difficult time shutting my brain off and passing out that night. What if there was some weird electrical malfunction where all iPhones shut down for no reason? If that happened, I’d miss the alarm I’d set to allow ample time for consumption of a big, hearty breakfast. The boys needed their fuel. Breakfast bars and cereal just wouldn’t do before a morning of sports, so I was relying on that alarm.

  Now I figured the chances of this weird electrical malfunction happening were one in a million but again, wild hare. This led to the panicking. And typically when I panicked, I busied myself with a task in hopes I’d get distracted and forget about what I was panicking over.

  I had several options, but I settled on alphabetizing my product supply, choosing that because it allowed me to stay in my room and make little to no noise.

  It worked too. An hour later, I had systematized my inventory and successfully distracted myself enough to fall asleep.

  I wasn’t worried about weird electrical malfunctions anymore. I knew the alarm I’d set would wake me up.

  So, the next morning, when my eyes slowly fluttered open of their own accord—without an alarm—I was confused. I rolled to my side and pulled the charger cord, dragging my phone across the carpet until it was close enough to press the home button.

  My phone lit up and displayed the time: 9:16.

  “Son of a bitch!” I yelled, kicking the blanket off and scrambling off the futon. My alarm was set for eight-thirty. Why the FUCK is it 9:16?

  “Get up! Get up!” I threw the door open and rushed out of the room, banging on the boys’ bedroom door as I continued to yell. “We only have fifteen minutes before we gotta leave! You guys gotta get dressed! Hurry!”

  We wouldn’t have time for a big, hearty breakfast. The boys would be limited to cereal or a granola bar. I couldn’t even offer them something hot and filling, and a morning of sports called for something hot and filling.

  Shit!

  I was preparing to bust into their room when giggling at my back halted me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Dominic and Eli seated at the kitchen table, dressed and ready to go.

  What the…

  “Oh, you guys are up,” I said, surprised. Turning completely, I walked over, and getting closer, saw the full plates in front of them, filled with scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sausage links.

  Huh? “Dom, did you cook?” I asked.

  Mouth stuffed full and syrup dripping from his lips, he mumbled something I couldn’t make out.

  “What?”

  “S-Sean did,” Eli answered this time, drawing my eyes to him but not lingering there, and instead, moving to the kitchen entryway when Sean stepped forward and filled it.

  My eyes bugged. My mouth dropped open.

  Sean Molina was standing in my apartment, wearing his typical chilly-weather uniform of faded jeans and a well-worn thermal, this one midnight blue in color. His hair was tied back at the base of his skull with a few strands hanging in front of his ears, and I would’ve appreciated that look because it was one I liked appreciating, but I couldn’t do that because Sean Molina was standing in my apartment.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked him.

  He was holding one of the Blow Me coffee mugs I’d purchased from Etsy. I’d gotten it because of the hair-styling reference, but it held a double meaning—one I was trying exceptionally hard to ignore right now. I could feel the burn in my cheeks, turning them red.

  Sean said nothing, just leaned his shoulder against the door frame and stared at my lower half.

  My initial reaction? Flattery.

  Was he checking me out right now? Holy shit.

  Then reality struck: I never slept in pants.

  Gasping, I tugged on the hem of my shirt enough to cover my thong and slowly backed away, saying, “Uh, let me just…put something on. Be back.”

  More giggles erupted from the table.

  I thought I caught a smile behind the coffee mug as Sean took a sip, but I couldn’t be sure, since I was retreating fast.

  “Jesus Christ!” I whispered after reaching the second bedroom and slipping inside. I slammed the door shut and dropped my head against it, groaning.

  Sean saw my ass.

  My brothers saw my ass.

  I didn’t really care about my brothers. Yes, it was mildly embarrassing and something I’d probably never live down, but SEAN SAW MY ASS. This was absolutely something I would never live down. I couldn’t take this back. I couldn’t tell him Ha! Just kidding! Not my ass! Because it was my ass, and he saw a lot of it. Everything except the crack.

  Great.

  Most of my clothes were temporarily being stored in the closet I kept supplies in, since my brothers were occupying my bedroom. Hurrying over to the sliding door, I pulled out a pair of jeans and a flannel, quickly got dressed, tugged on a pair of socks, and ran my fingers through my hair before slinking back out into the main living area.

  If I’d had the option, I would’ve stayed hidden away and lived out the rest of my life as a hermit, but I didn’t have that option. Furthermore, why the hell was Sean in my apartment?

  “Hey,” I said, walking up to Sean, who was still perched in the doorway of the kitchen, drinking his coffee.

  He lifted his chin in greeting. “Your coffee sucks.”

  “Uh, thanks.” I made a mental note about Sean disliking coconut-mocha coffee. Not sure why, but I did. “What are you doing here?”

  “Saw on the calendar they had stuff goin’ on this mornin’,” he began, glancing at my brothers. “Figured you’d have trouble doin’ both, so I’m here.”

  “You’re helping me out again?”

  “It ain’t a big deal.”

  I stood a little taller, staring back at him and disbelieving the words he’d just uttered, even though I’d heard them loud and clear.

  He was helping me out again.

  Sean had taken the time to glance over that calendar yesterday when I was merely pointing out a day’s worth of activities, and after doing so, came to the conclusion he’d help without me asking him for it, knowing his help would make my life easier.

  He was right. This wasn’t a big deal. This was a huge deal.

  “You made them breakfast,” I said, pointing out the other part of this amazing act of character. “A hot breakfast. That’s so important. I wanted to do that, but I think there’s something wrong with my phone. My alarm didn’t go off.”

  “It went off,” Sean said.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Your alarm. It went off.” He tipped his chin at the table. “Already had breakfast going, they were up, so I shut it off and let you sleep. I had it handled.”

  “You shut my alarm off because you had it handled?”

  “That’s what I said.”

  “What time did you get here?”

  “’Bout an hour ago.”

  “And who let you in?”

  Sean looked at Eli, then I looked at Eli, who was shoveling bites of pancake into his mouth like this was his last meal on Earth.

  I couldn’t blame him. Those pancakes looked amazing.

  “E, did you let Sean in without letting me know he was here?”

  “Obviously,” Dominic commented.

  I ignored King Attitude and kept my focus on Eli, who finished chewing up his bite, swallowed, and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand.

  “Yes,” he answered.

  I stepped closer and told him, “I know he’s not a stranger or anything, but you really shou
ld’ve woken me up first. Okay? Please, wake me up first next time.”

  Eli slouched in his chair and nodded.

  “What’s the problem?” Sean grated at my back.

  I turned to him. “Nothing. I just think he should’ve let me know you were here.”

  “You got an issue with me helpin’ you out?”

  “No. Not at all.”

  “Then what’s it matter?”

  “Well, for starters, I would’ve put on pants,” I snapped, bringing my arms across my chest and cocking my head.

  Sean’s mouth twitched. Even with his beard, I didn’t miss it.

  “You know you got a mole on your butt, Shay?” Dominic teased.

  “I’m aware, Dom. Thank you.”

  Eli snickered. Dominic was laughing under his breath. Sean didn’t make a sound, but his mouth kept twitching.

  “Anyway,” I continued, wanting to get my ass off the table for discussion, “I didn’t need to sleep in. I could’ve helped you make them breakfast,” I told him.

  “Didn’t need help,” he returned. “I can cook this shit in my sleep.”

  I was sure he could.

  This meal was probably nothing for him, and I understood why he was playing it down, but I couldn’t do that, and not just because he’d done me another favor either.

  I knew what was in my pantry.

  “You made pancakes from scratch,” I stated, knowing he must have, since I didn’t have any pancake mix.

  “And?”

  “You could’ve just made eggs and sausage, since I had both on hand, and the boys would’ve been happy with that. You didn’t have to go through the trouble of making pancakes from scratch, but you did. Just like you didn’t have to let me sleep in. And you can play that down too all you want, but it’s not nothing to me. I like sleeping in, but I would’ve really liked helping you make them breakfast, whether you needed it or not. Then I could’ve been thanking you this whole time instead of waiting until right now.” I dropped my arms and stepped closer, watching his body straighten off the doorjamb as I got in front of him. Then I tipped my head back and said what I needed him to hear. “Thank you, Sean. Today would’ve been a little stressful. Possibly a lot stressful, considering my luck lately, and now, because of you, it won’t be. Thank you.”

  He looked from my mouth to my eyes, then nodded his head once.

  “I have a feeling I’m gonna need to stock up on stationery,” I added.

  His brow pulled tight.

  I raised my finger to halt him from asking questions, spun around, walked over to the couch and bent over it to dig through my purse, then returned to my spot in front of him with the thank-you note I hadn’t been prepared to deliver until my next shift at Whitecaps, but I was more than happy to deliver now.

  I held out the card, and Sean took it.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  “A thank-you note.”

  “For what?” He lifted his eyes off the card and looked at me. “You already thanked me.”

  “I know.”

  I turned around and spotted bites of pancake left over on Dominic’s plate. He was finished eating and messing with his phone, so I stabbed two bites with his fork and stuffed the triangles into my mouth.

  “Oh, my God,” I moaned as the deliciousness of the pancakes slapped my taste buds awake.

  Eli giggled, watching me, and licked syrup off his thumb.

  “So good, right?” I asked him.

  He nodded fast.

  I ate two more bites of pancake plus the rest of Dominic’s sausage, then straightened up and collected the empty plates. “Okay. Are you guys ready to go?” I asked my brothers.

  “Yep,” Eli said, standing from his chair.

  “My stuff’s already in Sean’s truck. He’s taking me,” Dominic informed me as he stood.

  “Oh, okay.” Wow. He even came prepared with a vehicle to transport sports equipment. That was incredibly thoughtful. “I’ll probably catch the end of your game. So, good luck! Score some goals or whatever.”

  Dominic snorted. “I play defense. I don’t score.”

  “Okay, well, good luck defending.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  I was secretly grateful to be on Eli duty today.

  “You ready?” Sean asked at my back.

  Dominic nodded.

  I turned, still carrying the plates, and watched Sean and my brother make their way toward the door.

  “We’ll see you guys later!” I called out.

  Dominic walked through the door, saying nothing.

  Sean looked back when he hit the entryway, gave me a “Later,” and then pulled the door closed behind him.

  My thank-you note was sticking out of his back pocket.

  Eli’s practice lasted forty-five minutes, which was just enough time for us to catch the end of Dominic’s game.

  When we arrived at the field, I anticipated Sean being there, but what I hadn’t expected to see was him standing along the sideline in the area parents were seated, watching my brother play.

  That made me smile, for two reasons.

  One, Sean was showing my brother support when he didn’t have to, and that meant a lot to me. And two, standing among the preppy lacrosse parents, Sean stood out. In a good way.

  There were a lot of polo shirts over there.

  After walking Eli over to the playground area where a bunch of other kids were playing, I headed for the field.

  “Hey,” I said, coming up to stand beside Sean. “How’s it going? Are they winning?”

  Arms pulled across his chest, Sean looked from the field down to me. “I got no idea what the fuck I’m watchin’,” he said.

  I laughed. “Yeah, it’s a little different. Dom loves it, though.”

  “He loves beatin’ the shit outta people.”

  “What?”

  I looked toward the field then, searched out Dominic’s number, and watched him run full speed at another player, drop his helmet to the other kid’s back, and level him.

  I gasped. “Dominic! What are you doing?” I yelled as one of the refs blew a whistle.

  “He ain’t allowed to do that?” Sean asked.

  “Not like that, no,” I said. “I mean, they can check, but that was crazy.”

  “He’s been doin’ that a lot.”

  I looked up at Sean. “He has?”

  Sean nodded, then put his attention back on the field. “Kid’s angry,” he said. “I don’t think he gives a fuck about playin’ right now. He’s out there to hurt.”

  I watched Dominic walk up to another kid and knock his helmet into him. The kid wasn’t even doing anything.

  A heavy breath escaped me. “It’s because of my dad,” I said. “Dominic’s watching that disease just…take him from us. And my dad, he’s this mountain. I know you look at me and think my parents are probably little, but Dad’s a big guy.” I looked up at Sean. “He’s so strong. Now, he has trouble tying his shoes and opening a pickle jar. It’s so sad to watch. I hate it. But Dom…he can’t be angry like this. He can’t hurt other people.”

  A loud crack turned my head, and I watched Dominic stare down at a kid sprawled out on his back.

  “Perkins!” one of the couches yelled. “One more time, and I’m pulling you! You hear me?”

  Dominic didn’t even look up.

  “I just don’t know how to help him,” I said to Sean. “He won’t talk to me.”

  “Kid needs to let his anger out.”

  “And how do you suggest he do that?”

  I imagined duct-taping the couch cushions to my body and letting Dominic body slam me all over my apartment. I really didn’t want to do that.

  Sean was silent for a minute, just kept watching the game. Then he rubbed at his mouth and smoothed out his beard before offering, “I got a wall in my house I’m tearing down, plus a few other things that need demolishing. Could use his help, if he’s interested.”

  My brows lifted. “Really?”

&nbs
p; There was surprise in my voice, but God, there shouldn’t have been. Why was I not expecting Sean’s help when he was constantly giving it lately?

  Maybe it wasn’t the offer he was proposing that was so surprising. Maybe it was Sean himself.

  He kept catching me off guard. I never expected anything from this man. Not anymore. I didn’t even think he liked me enough to be my friend.

  “That’s…so nice of you,” I said, drawing his eyes off the field and down to me. “Do you think that’ll help him?”

  “You ever put a hole in a wall?”

  “Can’t say I have.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “It’ll help. Trust me.”

  Huh. I was curious how Sean knew so much about this subject matter, but figured there was a better time and place for that discussion, so I didn’t inquire.

  “He busy tomorrow?” Sean asked.

  “No, thank God.” I laughed a little. “Sunday is the one day neither of my brothers have anything going on. No chance of me screwing anything up.”

  Sean checked the time on his phone before stuffing it back in his front pocket, doing this while turning to face me. “Right. I gotta get going,” he said. “Let me know if he’s not feelin’ my offer; otherwise, I’ll pick him up tomorrow at nine. You gonna be around that afternoon?”

  “I work two to close,” I told him. “I figured the boys could hang out at Whitecaps. Nate said it was fine.”

  “I’m headin’ in at three, so I’ll bring him,” Sean offered.

  “Okay.” I smiled up at him. “I’ll talk to Dom after the game and let you know ASAP.”

  “Let me know whenever. No rush.”

  “I’d rather give you notice, so I’ll let you know ASAP.”

  Sean stared down at me.

  I went from smiling up at him to grinning up at him, watching his expression tighten when I did that. “What?” I asked.

  “You all right?”

  “Just happy,” I answered, because again, thanks to Sean and his thoughtfulness, I was.

  So, so happy.

  His warm copper eyes moved over my face, then he repeated the need to get going, saying it a little hurried this time, muttered his goodbye, which consisted of his standard “Later,” walked between the parents seated in chairs, and sauntered through the grass away from the field.