Let Me Out (For Me, #1)

by Nichole Severn

  “You’re so beautiful,” Marcus said, his voice raspy.

  If she’d been able to use her own voice, she would have had a similar reaction. Her gaze flowed down to him, studying his blue eyes and the laugh lines around them. She leaned forward, her legs tightening their grasp around his waist as she got a full taste of him, her tongue tickling the sensitive skin of his lips.

  He moaned in pleasure. “Adelaide.” Marcus moved his kisses directly over her throat, clutching her waist as if he couldn’t get enough and made her sigh in pleasure once again. “If you can moan,” he whispered against her skin. He bit down, staring up to meet her eyes. “Then you can speak.”

  She twisted her foot behind his calf and used his own weight to flip Marcus on top of her. Adelaide sank into the bed, every inch of her body in his control.

  “I’ve dreamed about this moment since I first laid eyes on you.” He pulled away, giving her the full attention of his eyes. “But there’s something I’ve got to know first,” he whispered. “Am I with you or the monster in your head?”

  Adelaide’s eyes darted toward the ghost visualizing before her, the delusion haunting her every second of her life. She waited for the violence to start, holding her breath as her freedom slipped away.

  You can never forget where I came from, my love. Fully formed, lying across the foot of the bed, her monster smiled at her. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you fight me, I will always be here.

  She closed her eyes, trying to push the monster back into its cage.

  But it didn’t want to go back. It wanted to play.

  A sharp pain flared to life behind her eyes.

  I’m getting stronger, Adelaide, it whispered, crawling even closer.

  Marcus didn’t seem to know what thoughts ran through her mind and her determination sizzled to keep it so. She reached for him, slamming her lips against his. She used him only as distraction, but he played along all too willingly.

  You can’t shut me out forever.

  The pain grew warmer, white flashes blinding her temporarily.

  “Adelaide,” Marcus said, pushing her back at arms’ length.

  She let her eyes wander to the nightstand and then to the monster waiting for her to fight back. She had little chance of getting to the medication before an episode overtook every thought.

  “You need another dose?”

  You can’t make me go back. Her monster rubbed one arm anxiously, just as it always did when the time came for another shot. I will be free.

  Adelaide lunged for the drawer, ripping the little black box from its hiding place. Her fingers scratched against the lock. She dug her nails under the silver clasp and released a breath of anxiety once the box opened.

  Empty.

  Marcus pushed her onto her back as she gripped the box in her hands, throwing himself from the bed, out of danger. She stared at the vacant spots, praying she wasn’t seeing clearly, wishing the medication would magically appear.

  “Hold on,” a voice said, but she couldn’t concentrate on it now.

  Her head turned toward her monster, her eyes only for the figure dancing in circles, a laugh bubbling at its lips. I meant it when I said you couldn’t hold me back.

  She couldn’t focus, taking short breaths, looking over the bed and toward the floor in hopes of catching sight of a lone syringe. A piercing scream filled her ears, her eyes closing as the shrieking drowned out her surroundings.

  “Adelaide, listen to me.” A pair of strong hands wrapped themselves around her arms. His voice punctured through the hysterical laughs coming from the other side of the room and for a brief moment Adelaide understood every word out of Marcus’s mouth. “You don’t need it.”

  That’s right, her monster said, still dancing. Never again.

  She tried to push her monster back to its prison with her remaining strength but the fading sensation overwhelmed her. She was losing herself.

  The scream ripped from her mouth.

  In the blink of an eye, her monster stood over her on the bed, its hands around her neck, squeezing the breath from her lungs. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t move.

  “Adelaide?” Marcus stepped forward again, the fuzzy outline of him looking down on her from above. “Tell me what the hell is going on!”

  Intense pain radiated throughout her entire body, and she shut her eyes tight. Her hands made their way to her head as the monster choked the life out of her body slowly.

  She couldn’t take any more.

  Forcing herself from the bed, she pushed Marcus out of the way, stumbling toward the dresser. Dizziness overtook her. Black spots filled her vision and it wouldn’t relent. She couldn’t make the pain subside by herself. She needed something stronger. She wrenched the dresser’s drawers open, throwing everything to the floor in an attempt to find the sedative.

  But it wasn’t there.

  A wave of nausea and fire overtook her body, running through every nerve as Adelaide collapsed. Her knees weakened from the sudden impact.

  Don’t even think about it, her monster whispered, crawling on all fours toward her. Just let this happen, Adelaide. Let me out. Let me show the world what we can really do.

  She did her best to shut the voice out, but it had been hardwired into her since the age of sixteen, always a ghost in the back of her mind. No one knew what lived in her head and she couldn’t control it any longer. She silently pled for sanity as the delusion called out to her.

  Her skin and mind burned from the inside, but Adelaide forced her fingertips to grip the carpet, to pull her toward the medication she desperately needed. She fought for her life.

  The edges of the carpet had been pulled up long ago, hiding her most cherished secrets, but her stash seemed too far away.

  Her strength dwindled with each heartbeat, her breathing growing shallow. Her vision clouded, the pair of boots in front of her swimming before her eyes. She reached out toward them, pointing toward the hiding place she’d built and hoped to convey her message.

  She needed help.

  * * *

  Pulling up the carpet at the edge of her bedroom, Marcus found what Adelaide had been looking for. A thin piece of satin covered the syringes and he didn’t waste any time uncapping one, thrusting it into her leg.

  She didn’t react, her eyes closed, her face slack as if she’d fallen asleep.

  He didn’t know what else to do, didn’t know what to think. He’d never witnessed anything so intense, so violent, and couldn’t imagine how Adelaide had kept herself in control for so long.

  The syringe emptied completely, caging whatever made this woman certifiably insane, and he watched for any signs of life.

  Her breathing slowed, but she didn’t move. The circles around her eyes had grown darker, her skin paler, and he imagined whatever had just happened took all her energy. She looked exhausted.

  Glancing around the room, Marcus wrapped his hands under her, lifting her small form into his arms. Her citrusy scent enfolded him and he pulled as much of the sweet aroma into his lungs as he could. He had to get her safe, away from the mansion and everybody in it.

  He had a promise to keep.

  * * *

  She stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling, unable to focus on more than one specific area at a time. Adelaide felt lost, out of control, and she didn’t know what else to do than lay next to the man who’d saved her life less than twenty-four hours ago.

  Would Marcus ask her to repay the debt?

  Sooner or later, her monster answered from a chair across the room. It’d only watched her, never moving. Angry or exhausted from the episode, it hadn’t spoken until now and Adelaide had welcomed the silence. They always expect payment.

  She rolled onto her side, studying the lines of Marcus’s features through the dark.

  Sound asleep, he looked peaceful, with no nightmares to wake him, his face slack. He wouldn’t notice her missing until the morning and her heart gave a vicious thump at lea
ving him behind, but it had to be done.

  She had unfinished business.

  Her arms shook with the weight of her body as she pushed herself from the bed and padded lightly toward the bedroom door. Keeping her eyes on Marcus’s form, she slowly opened it, hoping the hinges had been greased enough to let her free without incident. He’d try to stop her and she couldn’t let him. Clarity, unlike anything she’d experienced before, pounded at her temples, urged her to take action. Not even her delusion needed to manipulate her further. She’d made her decision more than ten years ago, and the hope her actions would finally release her from her inner demon blossomed the second Marcus had sedated her. She couldn’t live like this anymore. She needed a cure and there was only one place to find it.

  She eased the door closed behind her, careful with every movement she made toward the stairs. The hardwood floor creaked under her weight but she kept moving. The farther she distanced herself from him, the better chance she had of escape.

  Silence.

  Do you honestly believe he could stop us now? the monster asked. I’m growing stronger. Soon, nobody will be able to stop me. It stared directly into Adelaide’s eyes, willing its message to be heard clearly. Including you.

  She couldn’t respond, only hoped she had enough strength to live through what she had planned for tonight.

  Time to hunt.

  * * *

  Marcus bolted upright in his own bed.

  The nightmare echoed in his mind, screams reverberating through every pore.

  He rubbed his face, slowly waking to find the bed empty. Studying the bedroom, he listened to the sounds of the house. Nothing. “Adelaide?”

  He waited for some type of reply.

  Pushing himself out from under the covers, he walked toward the bedroom door. Opening it completely, he listened again, his gut instincts telling him Adelaide had left. “Adelaide!”

  Silence.

  “Damn it!” Marcus turned, switching on the overhead light, and reached for the clothing he’d left on the floor. Shoving his legs into the jeans, he almost fell over in his haste. He grabbed his keys and wallet from the nightstand with one hand and a T-shirt with the other. His breathing grew labored as he ran out the front door. He started the car and threw it into gear, knowing exactly where he’d find her.

  Pushing forward, he shivered at the thought of going inside the dilapidated house that smelled of urine and mold.

  * * *

  The alley reminded her of the one she’d spent two weeks in as a teen. The smell of garbage assaulted her nose, but she couldn’t smell blood.

  Yet.

  Adelaide moved slowly, studying the homeless beggars, drug addicts, and whores. As she neared the end of the alley, the farthest point from the street, she knew she’d caught their attention.

  The group of men off to one side stared at their good fortune and she let them. She needed them and she stared right back.

  “Hey, baby. You lost?” one asked.

  “We’ll help you find your way,” another chimed in.

  They moved as a group toward her, all six of them. Their chains and jewelry clinked as they shifted and they worked to pull their pants back up around their thighs.

  Adelaide waited for them to come to her, reaching into her back pocket.

  “What you got there, sweet one?”

  “Candy?”

  Pulling out the photo, she displayed it for all to see. The lamps from the street gave enough light for the picture to be visible and she waited patiently.

  I could just eat them up, her monster said and grew closer to the leader, its lips barely an inch away as it spoke. I like him the best, though. He’ll give me what I need.

  “What you want him for?” the first one asked. “He owe you money?” The entire group laughed and she smiled at the thought of killing every single one of them slowly.

  The leader, the one her monster had become so interested in, moved closer. Taller than she, he had a shaved head with a thin face. She couldn’t size him up from all his baggy clothing, but she didn’t need to. “I’m Omar,” he announced, barely half a foot away. His breath crawled over her skin. “What’s your name?”

  She held the picture directly in front of his face again, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible. Harlow wouldn’t stay put for long if he suspected she was coming for him, and surely one of the gang members had already sent the alarm.

  Omar ignored the photo, circling around to her back. He pulled a section of her hair into his hand, pressing it to his nose as he inhaled. He continued circling. “You don’t say much, do you?” He stopped in front of her again. “You know, I could make you scream.”

  The threat had been meant to scare her, but Adelaide couldn’t bring herself to recognize it as anything but empty words. She wasn’t the one who’d be screaming at the end of the night.

  That’s right, baby, the monster said to Omar. I’ll be listening to you scream as long as I live. It turned back toward Adelaide, smiling. Do it, her monster whispered.

  Adelaide complied, reaching up and around Omar’s neck. She pulled his head into hers, not able to see his reaction.

  She slammed her forehead into his nose, smearing blood across both of their faces. He dropped to the ground.

  She drew her gun, aiming at the next in line.

  Nobody moved for a space of two full breaths.

  Adelaide felt her blood pumping, her breathing quickening as she prepared to kill them all. Her monster smiled in delight but threatened to explode if she didn’t move soon.

  One of the remaining five moved, drawing his own weapon, and motioned for the others to surround her. “Big mistake, baby.”

  The monster circled the gang, eager to sink its teeth into their soft flesh, and Adelaide would let it.

  She stepped toward the one who’d spoken.

  “Don’t move, bitch!” he yelled, but she continued.

  Her leg swung up, connecting with his gun. The weapon fell loudly to the ground and she kicked again, aiming for his chest.

  He doubled over, raising his head to look for the next hit.

  She raised the gun and shot him right between the eyes.

  The remaining four converged, each presenting a different weapon, and one by one she conquered. Her legs and arms flew with accuracy and all too soon her enemies lay facedown, moaning in agony.

  She exhaled calmly, regaining control over the monster now whispering to the closest body. Adelaide crouched down next to him. Turning him over quickly, she listened to his screams of pain but didn’t flinch at the sound. She shoved the photograph into his face, again waiting for a location on Harlow.

  He studied what she held, shaking his head in agitation.

  She didn’t have time for this. Adelaide palmed her gun again, aimed and unloaded the bullet between his eyes. She moved onto the next victim, repeated the ending, and came to a third.

  Her monster smiled proudly. Doesn’t that feel better? it asked, staying close to watch the action.

  The last man blocked his face with his arms, but nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes. I know him!” he yelled. “Don’t kill me, please!”

  She waited, keeping the photo in position, and watched as he slowly lowered his defenses. Adelaide studied him. He wasn’t older than sixteen or seventeen, his skin littered with red acne. He seemed too young to be in a gang, unless he didn’t have a choice.

  “Blue house on Hope, across from the gas station.” His Spanish accent reminded her of her years in Mexico, bringing another growl from the monster at her side.

  Adelaide stood, still looking down on him, and fired once into his head. She tucked the gun at her lower back and glanced at the photo again.

  Turning back toward the entrance of the alley, she walked out onto the street, looking forward to seeing Harlow.

  Chapter Twenty

  Marcus kept an eye on the house for two hours but nothing raised his suspicions. The house looked as it had the day he and his team raided, findi
ng Daniel in the basement. The yard remained bare, filled with garbage and a starving pit bull on one side. He watched the animal for a few minutes, looking for a sign it’d focused its attention on something, but the dog never moved. Most likely dead.

  As one of ATF’s and LAPD’s favorite hot spots, the neighborhood seemed eerily silent. Too quiet. Silence meant something would go wrong.

  Marcus sat up straighter in the driver’s seat. His car stayed well hidden from view from the house, but the weight of being watched pressed down on him. He tried to shake the feeling. Nobody could see him.

  Looking back toward the yard, he froze. Where’s the dog? He searched right and left for the mutt. It’d been tied up and couldn’t have possibly gotten loose without him seeing it. He rolled down the window, listening for the animal or any other sounds that would interest him.

  The sound of shattering glass filled the night.

  Marcus pushed himself from the car, gun drawn, and ran toward the house. As he bounded through the yard, he caught sight of the dog, lying on its side with its own chain wrapped around its throat.

  Rushing up the stone steps, he slammed his shoulder against the front door. It gave in immediately and he fell into the house.

  The smell of mold and urine filled his nostrils instantly, forcing Marcus back out onto the porch to breathe. He gulped as much clean air as he could then pushed back into the house.

  He stood in the kitchen, the very same one when he’d found the secret passageway to the cellar. Instead of searching the house, he went directly for the bookcase holding the switch. Marcus pulled the red book down and watched the secret door open.

  Harlow would hide if he had the chance.

  Making his way down the cold stone steps as fast as he could, he pulled out his penlight and kept his eyes and ears open. The smell of decay assaulted his senses, stronger than the last time, and he tried not to breathe in order to keep down the bile in his stomach.

  He reached the bottom of the stairs, studying the room before him. The space looked the same as it had a few weeks ago, but one difference caught his attention and made him want to run: more bodies.