My Never: a novella

by Renee Swann

  Troy’s brother slipped into the room.

  “More secret best man business?” I said.

  “Not exactly,” said Patrick, “I need to borrow Jay for a sec.”

  “No more secrets!” I stood, hands on hips. “Someone better tell me what’s going on.”

  “C’mon,” said Jay, “Let’s get outta here before she goes all scorned bride on us.”

  I shot them an icy glare. “Hey.”

  “Too late, Man,” said Pat, “Let’s go.”

  Perfection, something everyone covets. And I have it - a gorgeous husband and daughter, the people closest to us standing witness to our everlasting love, and a golden sunset. Right now, there is nothing more I wanted than to say I do.

  Mum fastened the last button on my dress. “You’re ready, Kiddo.” She moved to stand in front of me.

  I sighed. “Mum don’t cry. You are not losing me. You are gaining so much more.”

  “I know.” She pressed her lips to my cheek. “And that Ruby’s a gem, isn’t she?”

  I giggled.

  “No pun intended.” She fixed an unruly strand.

  There was a tap on the door. “It’s showtime,” said Patrick.

  I took a deep breath.

  “Are you ready?” said Mum.

  “Yep.” This morning I was worried about not having enough snacks for our trip home, and now I was getting married. Things were moving fast, but I didn’t mind.

  Music floated in as the door opened. I turned to her. “Mum, will you walk me down the aisle?” Dad would have wanted her to.

  Her lips curled into a smile. “I’d be honoured.”

  I hooked my arm around hers. “Don’t let me mumble incoherently or screw up my vows.”

  “I won’t.” She petted my hand.

  The music shifted into a softer melody.

  I sucked in another deep breath. “I’m ready.”

  Her eyes flitted over me. “You’re so beautiful.”

  “It is a pretty dress.” My fingers smoothed out the lace. “Thanks for helping Troy with it.”

  “Oh I had nothing to do with it – any of this. It’s all Troy.”

  We stepped into the hallway.

  “He knows you so well,” said Mum, “And I can see how much he loves you.”

  We passed the living room.

  I swivelled to face her again. “Thanks for everything.”

  “You’re welcome, Dear.”

  “I know it wasn’t easy when Dad passed. I was a handful.”

  She shrugged a shoulder. “We get dealt what God thinks we can handle.”

  I nodded. Losing my best friend and discovering my true love had a seven year old was enough for me. I had reached my limit.

  Ruby bounced into the hallway and twirled. “Hey, Moni.”

  “You look so pretty,” I said.

  “Do you have your flowers?” said Mum.

  “Yes.” She tugged the bunch from the table.

  “Good girl.” Mum signalled to Patrick.

  He skipped a track on the CD then gave us a thumbs-up. The instrumental version of A Thousand Years trickled through the speakers.

  And then I couldn’t see anything else but Troy. His handsome face, sparkling eyes. Gentle smile and white rose pinned to his tux. My pace quickened as I neared. This was taking far too long.

  “Breathe,” Mum whispered in my ear.

  I ignored that and closed the gap between my groom and me.

  He reached for my hand and touched his lips to it. “Love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Jay cleared his throat. “If you two lovebirds are done, I’d like to get the ceremony underway.”

  “Go ahead,” said Troy.

  Jay cleared his throat again. “Love is the greatest gift one can give and receive.” His eyes flicked to us. “It’s irreplaceable. When two people entrust one another with their hearts, innermost feelings and lives, their bond strengthens, until they become a whole. This closeness cannot be measured.” His gaze settled on our families. “We are gathered here today, because love has found Monique and Troy - again.”

  I returned his smirk.

  Jay winked at me. “And interlaced them together. We are gathered to rejoice, to recount with one another, that it is love that leads us to our true destination and to celebrate that Monique and Troy have finally arrived.”

  As I stared at Troy, Jay’s voice became a blur. I couldn’t force myself to concentrate on the words he spoke for longer than a second.

  Troy nudged me then reached for my other hand. “I love you. You are my best friend, my soul mate. You are everything I dreamt of and more.” His grin widened. “From the moment I met you, twenty-five years ago, I knew that you were the one. Today, I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to-”

  “What is this?” A dirty blonde stepped onto the porch, her eyes hard. “What the fuck is this?”

  Ruby dropped her flowers and sprinted over to her. “Mum!”

  I cut my eyes to Troy. “What’s Lauren doing here?”

  He shrugged. “I have no idea.”

  Patrick ambled over to her. “Laur, we’re kinda busy here.”

  “I can see that.” She grabbed Ruby’s hand. “C’mon, we’re going.”

  “I wanna stay.” Ruby fought to free her arm.

  “I’d better speak to her,” said Troy, “I’ll be back.”

  My eyes tracked him as he marched over to her.

  “It’ll be fine,” said Jay, “Give him a minute.”

  Mum offered me a glass.

  I snatched it then spun, white-hot anger circulating through me. How dare she ruin our wedding? I felt an arm drape over my shoulders. I shook Jay off. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Hey, I’m just tryin’ to help.” His face dropped.

  I sighed and turned to him. “Sorry.” I let him hug me. “It’s just that she really gets on my nerves, the way she treats him and Ruby.”

  “Feeling’s mutual.”

  Lauren’s voice carried over to us. “No, I’m taking her home!”

  “Laur, please,” said Troy, “I’ll drop her home later.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’m not gonna let her be a flower girl for that whore.” She gestured towards me.

  “Watch your mouth,” said Troy.

  “Or what?” She stepped closer, nose-to-nose.

  Ruby tugged on Lauren’s arm. “Mummy.”

  Her features hardened further. “Shut up!”

  I inched forward. “Hey-”

  “Mummy, I wanna stay!”

  “Shut up!” Her arm snapped back.

  Ruby crumpled to the floor.

  I lurched forward and shoved Lauren. “Don’t touch her again,” I growled.

  “You’re not her mother,” she said.

  “No, but I will be a better one than you will ever be.” I swivelled. “You okay, Rubes?”

  She nodded, swiped at her tears, and stood.

  Lauren’s eyes were ice cold. “You’ll regret this.”

  I slid Ruby behind me. “Bring it on. We can handle whatever you throw at us.”

  She spun and stomped back into the house. A moment later, the door slammed.

  I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I exhaled.

  “Let’s take five everyone,” said Pat, “Then re-group, ka-peesh?”

  “You okay?” said Troy.

  I nodded. “But she’s not.” Lauren’s behaviour could only worsen. “She needs help, Troy.”

  “I know. But she’s gotta want it first.”

  Julie reached for Ruby’s hand. “Come on, Sweetheart. Let’s get you a cookie.” She led her into the house.

  Troy touched his lips to my cheek. “You still wanna get married today?”

  “Nothing can stop me from marrying you – not Lauren nor rain nor the plague.”

  “Good to hear.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “I just want cake.”

  He chuckled and towed me towards the kitchen. “Will a c
upcake do for now?”

  I grinned. “Yeah.”

  He flicked open the lid on the bakery box and handed me one.

  “Butterflies?” I said.

  “Figured you wouldn’t want real ones released.”

  Ruby hopped into the room. Her eyes bulged. “Cupcakes!”

  “She bounces back quick,” I said.

  “Takes after her step-mum.” He winked.

  * * *

  Memories of the previous evening flashed through my brain. I sat up, dispersing Troy’s arm in the process.

  His eyes fluttered open. “Mon?”

  Had I dreamt it? “Did we really, you know, dum-dum-da-dum?”

  “Get married? Not legally until Monday, when we file the licence.” His eyes searched my features. “Are you freaked?”

  I shook my head and lowered into his waiting arms.

  “Good, Mrs DeGaris.”

  A surge of heat swept through my body. “Say that again.”

  His lips brushed against my forehead. “Mrs DeGaris.”

  I giggled and kissed him.

  “Ruby’s with your Mum, right?” His arms curled around me.

  “Yep.”

  “Just checking.” He kissed down my neck, his fingers gliding across my stomach.

  “We have the whole day to ourselves. What will we do?” I smirked.

  “I know a couple things.”

  “We could eat some of our wedding cake.”

  “Not exactly what I was thinking ...”

  “What were you thinking?” I heard the front door open. “Were we expecting someone?”

  “Nope.”

  A moment later, the bedroom door crashed against the wall. Lauren stormed in. “I want my daughter. Now.”

  I fumbled for the sheet. Troy jerked it up.

  “We aren’t sending her home with a paranoid lunatic,” I said.

  She yanked the covers away.

  I matched her glare. “What’s your damage?” I scrambled to cover my bits.

  “Where is she?”

  “You want some cake, Lauren?” I shrugged into my robe. “I think that’s your problem – not enough sugar in your diet.”

  “Tell me where my daughter is.”

  “She’s with my mother-in-law,” said Troy, “Also, I’m filing for custody on Monday.”

  “You can’t do this,” she said.

  He tugged on a pair of shorts. “I have five witnesses of you assaulting our daughter.”

  “Ruby doesn’t feel safe with you anymore,” I said.

  “No. This can’t be happening.” Her fingers weaved into her blonde roots. “You can’t do this to me. This can’t be happening.”

  Troy and I exchanged furtive glances.

  “Have a seat, Laur,” he said.

  “I’ll get you a glass of water.” I slipped out of the room. Is it too early for whiskey?

  A moment later, Troy jogged into the kitchen. “She kissed me, I’m sorry.”

  “What?” That bitch dare kiss my husband?

  “She’s unbalanced.”

  My eyes clenched shut. One-thousand-and-one, one-thousand-and-two. “Thanks for telling me.” They flashed open. “Is she always this paranoid?”

  “No.” He dropped his eyes. “But when she and I were engaged, any tiny thing would set her off.”

  “She needs help.”

  “Mon.”

  I threw my hands in the air. “What else do you want me to say?” I cut a wedge of cake. “I know a part of you still loves her – and I’m okay with that.” I shovelled cake into my mouth. “But she’s screwing with your head. And that’s not okay with me.”

  His arms wound around my waist. “Did I say sorry yet?”

  “You have a soft spot for her. But someone needs to put their foot down.”

  “And that someone is you?” He arched an eyebrow, his lips curling upwards.

  “I suppose it is.” My stomach rumbled. “Mm. I’ll cook us up some eggs and bacon.”

  He picked up his phone. “I’ll call her doctor.”

  I transferred the scrambled eggs to a plate and snitched some as I waited for Troy and Lauren. My tastebuds recoiled at the flavour. Bad eggs? Or was it my cooking? I spat the spoonful into the sink and rinsed my mouth. My stomach spasmed. I retched. Stars danced before my eyes. My fingers gripped the counter.

  “Mon?”

  I felt his soothing hands on me. I sucked in deep breaths.

  “Are you sick?”

  I managed a nod and gestured towards the plate. He loped over and grabbed the spoon.

  I lunged at him. “No! It’s disgusting!”

  Too late. It was in his mouth. He shrugged. “Tastes fine to me - great, actually.”

  “Really?” I sat.

  “Yep.”

  What was going on with me, then?

  He massaged my shoulders. “I’m gonna drop Lauren home. She doesn’t seem to want our help, but I care about her too much to let her drive.”

  I nodded.

  “You’ll be okay?”

  “Yep.” I thought for a beat. “Pick me up some anchovies and chocolate?” I felt his lips press into my hair. “Ooh, and some fries.”

  “Sure. Will you be mixing those things together?”

  “It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it?” I hopped up and grabbed the bag of cookies.

  “Yeah …”

  I felt his eyes on me.

  “You feelin’ okay?” he said.

  “Yep. Starving, though.” I shoved a handful of cookies into my mouth.

  His brow creased. “Cool. I’ll be back soon.” His lips skimmed across my forehead. “Don’t eat all the food.”

  “No promises.”

  * * *

  “What would you like on your sandwich?” I said.

  Ruby leaned against the counter. “PB and J.”

  “That was my favourite, also.” I retrieved the peanut butter.

  “Is Mummy mad at me?”

  I smothered a slice in jam. “No, Sweetie.”

  “She seemed really mad.” Her bottom lip trembled.

  I abandoned the sandwich and bent to her level. “Mummy’s a bit sick. But this is not your fault.”

  She avoided my eyes.

  “Okay?”

  “My arm hurts.”

  “How bad?” I applied some pressure to her elbow. “Does this hurt?”

  She winced. “It really hurts.”

  “Okay. I have to take you to the doctors.” I reached for her hand.

  “I didn’t finish my cereal.”

  I grabbed the sandwich off the counter. “I don’t think you will be going to school today.” I dialled Troy.

  He answered on the second ring. “Mon?”

  “Can you meet us? I think Ruby’s arm is broken.” I heard his breath catch.

  “Sure. I’ll be there a-s-a-p.”

  “See you then.”

  Ruby tugged on my sleeve. “Is Daddy coming?”

  “He’s meeting us at the doctors.” I locked up. “Hop in, Kiddo.” I yanked the passenger door open.

  She climbed in and I helped her with the seatbelt.

  She tightened it. “Will he be angry at Mummy?”

  I met her eyes. “I don’t know.”

  Her face hardened. “Don’t lie to me, Moni.”

  I breathed a sigh. “Okay. Yes, he will be upset that she hurt you.” I leaned in through the window. “That’s because he loves you so much.”

  She smiled. “That’s a good reason.”

  I nodded and slid into the driver’s seat.

  “He loves you, too,” she said.

  “So he tells me.”

  We arrived at the medical centre. Two minutes later, Troy sprinted in. He hugged his daughter to his chest. His lips brushed against my cheek. “Thanks for looking after her.”

  “No problem at all,” I said.

  He sat beside her.

  “There are at least three people in front of us,” I said.

  “My arm r
eally hurts.” Ruby cradled it in her other hand.

  “I know. We’ll get it fixed, I promise.” Troy wound an arm around her. “You should’ve told us earlier.”

  “I know, sorry.” Her bottom lip quivered again.

  “Ruby, it’s okay to be scared,” I said, “There are things that terrify me - and I’m thirty!”

  She giggled. “For real?”

  “Yeah. Packing up and moving to Cairns scared the crap out of me. Also ending up alone with seven cats.”

  Troy snickered.

  “But your dad is an incredible listener,” I said, “And he’s ready for whenever you want to talk to him. Me, also.”

  A minute passed. Ruby clicked her tongue. “Cool.”

  I winked at Troy.

  “Thank you,” he mouthed.

  “Ruby Clarke-DeGaris?” The doctor tapped her foot as she waited.

  That’s a mouthful. What was wrong with just DeGaris? I suppose Lauren didn’t like that.

  Troy stood. “You comin’?”

  I shook my head. “I’ll wait here.”

  That night, Troy passed me a beer. “Thought you might need one.”

  “You thought right.” I twisted the cap off and took a swig.

  “You wanna order in?” He draped an arm across my shoulders.

  “Italian.”

  “Si, amore mio.” His lips moved up my neck.

  I chuckled and handed him the cordless. “Ravioli. And extra-cheesy cheesy bread.”

  “You got it.” He stood. “Ruby? You want pizza?”

  She rounded the corner and skidded to a stop in front of us. “I do, I do!” She perched next to me. “Ham and pineapple, please.”

  “Do you want some cheesy bread, too?” I tugged her closer and brushed strands from her face.

  “Yes.”

  “Mon.” Troy nodded in the direction of the kitchen.

  I touched my lips to her head. “Why don’t you see what’s on TV, eh?”

  Ruby shifted and reached for the remote, resting the cast on her thigh.

  I hurried to catch up with him. “What is it?”

  “Could you whip up something special for dessert?” he said, “Might make us all feel a little better.”

  “Sure. Anything in mind?”

  “Chocolate, lots of it.”

  I let him hug me. “Sounds good.”

  “I’m gonna pick up dinner.” He released me. “If you need anything, gimme a call.”

  I beamed. “Ice cream.”

  He hooked a finger into a key ring. “I thought we had some.”