Hope Is Love

by Hubbard, Sylvia

"Your heartbeat is racing," he told her between butterfly kisses all over her lips and face.

  He pulled her hand to his heart "Do you feel that?" he asked.

  She nodded. "Yes, it's racing."

  "Not yet. Can you trust me Hope?" he asked between soft licks on her lips and even more kisses - some long, some short, but all were mesmerizing. "Can you trust me now like I trust you outside?"

  "Yes," she barely whispered.

  He moved her hands down to his pants and she didn't need to be told to open them. "Touch me," he insisted putting her hand back on his heart.

  She timidly moved her hand further down and then gasped feeling his hot shaft on her fingertips. His heart pulsed more and she liked the effect her touch had on him. Bravely, she moved her fingers around his manhood and he took her arm to guide her into moving her hand up and down on him.

  The more she did the quicker his heartbeat. Soon his eyes rolled back in his head and he bit down on his lip as if he were holding back. His heart was racing hard and now he was out of breath just like her.

  His lips returned to hers and his kisses were hungrier and soon his passion conveyed over to her body. She wanted more, but was unsure of what was to come.

  She could feel his pelvis rubbed close to hers and each time she felt a euphoric high. Whatever his body was doing to hers, she felt as if they were flying and soon all she could do was hold on as every nerve ending seemed to explode.

  He first pleaded her name and then repeated it over and over as if it were his saving breath.

  Hope was only slightly sure what had happened once her mind was returning to reality.

  Never in her whole life had she felt it was possible to achieve what he had done to her, but for some reason this man had.

  "Did I smoke?" he asked breathlessly. "In the alley, did I smoke?"

  She stifled a snicker. The idea of laughing had not happened in so long it almost hurt not to do it

  "I don't recall, all I remember is that she called you James."

  He rose up slightly and looked down at her with a gorgeous frown on his face. "That doesn't sound like me."

  Jona was convinced that no matter what face he made, he would always look handsome. "Jamie?" she guessed a derivative of his name.

  He shook his head. "No, that doesn't sound at all like me either."

  "Jay-Jay?"

  He crinkled his nose. "That sounds cruel for someone my size and age."

  She covered her mouth again to stifle the giggle.

  "I just don’t feel like a person with that type of name. It seems cold and cruel and selfish. I don't feel like that type of person."

  "Do you really know what type of person you should feel like since you've lost your memory?" she questioned. "Maybe you were a cold cruel person, living some sort of good life and hurting others behind their back, which was probably why you were there in the alley paying off some people for some woman."

  He frowned. "Why would that be?"

  Jona shrugged. “I don't know. I don't know your life, James.”

  Growling, he said, "Don’t call me that."

  "What should I call you? I haven't kissed many people but at least I knew some type of name to call them."

  This time he shrugged. "I don't know, but I don't think I want to be called this James. What about an endearment?"

  "What's that?"

  "Like sweetie? Or big daddy?"

  She stifled another chortle waiting to burst forth at his silliness.

  "Would you happen to have extra clothes?" he questioned, suddenly uncomfortable.

  "Why..." She blushed after a moment, realizing why he'd asked.”I'm sorry. Did I make you do that?"

  "To be so knowledgeable about the street, you have a certain innocence about you?"

  "It's nothing." She nudged his shoulders to indicate she wanted him to move.

  He didn’t move right away, but looked in deep concern down at her. "When someone has to point out absence there means there is no absence."

  "What?" she asked confused.

  He slightly moved over to the side of her and used his hands to caress her face gently. "You shouldn't have to say there is nothing if there really is nothing, Hope."

  "You're trying to find something when there is nothing."

  He looked down at her sincerely; his green eyes perused her face as if he wanted to remember every nook and cranny. "Whatever your nothing is, don't let it take away what you have so much of.”

  "What do I have? I'm homeless. I have no money. No place to stay."

  He kissed her softly. "You have something nothing in the world can buy and no one can ever find, except in you." He kissed her neck and then her chest where her heart was. "Your soul, Hope. You have a strong soul that if it had not been for it I would have died."

  Hope's arm circled his neck and pulled him close to her. Damn! He could say the most wonderful things, but should she tell him about the item she stole from him? Maybe he wouldn’t feel that way when he realized she was nothing but a petty theft.

  Who the hell was this man? How had he come into her life like this and why did she have this sinking feeling he would be leaving soon.

  "I'm not leaving," he said as if reading her mind."At least not now."

  "Your clothes. I can get you clothes." She nudged him away again and this time he did move enough for her to get up.

  Once she returned with some clean clothes and a fresh bowl of water, he got up and went over to the corner he had gone to the night before.

  She was still too embarrassed to look at him despite what they had just done together.

  When he joined her again, this time he pulled her close to him and nuzzled his face to her neck. "Do you ever take off that hat?" he questioned.

  "I change it," she explained. "At least once a week."

  "I want to see your hair."

  "It's not much to see, James."

  "I told you not to call me James," he protested.

  "And I want you to leave my hair alone, so we're even."

  He was quiet for a moment, but Jona could tell he was far from sleepy.

  She was very sleepy and relaxed with her back to him. So much rich food made her want to fall into a deep coma and soon she did, promising to get up later to wash up from the day.

  * * *

  He watched her sleep for an hour before he was assured she wouldn't wake up and catch him.

  Going over to her boxes of items, he searched through everything until he realized she wouldn't have her personal items here. He found her coat outside of the fort. She most likely kept it out there because of the horrendous smell, but it was her protection against the streets and he'd slowly gotten used to it so he could understand how she could wear it.

  The coat was large enough to fit over him and he put the coat on feeling there was a lot of weight inside the coat that didn’t have to do with the warmth of the coat. He could feel there was newspaper used as stuffing, but there was more inside the liner.

  Reaching inside of the coat he nervously moved his hand into the inner pocket terrified of what he might feel. When there was nothing pricking his hand like a needle or something wet, he ventured until his hand stopped at a slim pencil case. Amazingly he was able to pull the box out. Ratty and old, the box was sealed by several rubber bands.

  Carefully pulling them off after putting the coat aside, he opened the case and frowned. There were torn pieces of newspapers in a sealed plastic bag. One article was an obituary of Jonah Melvin Crump.

  He was a hard workingman and father until the loss of his long time girlfriend, Annelle Hope Pane. Jonah will be loved by his surviving siblings."

  That was basically all there was to say and he determine the article to be about fifteen to twenty years old. The other article was about a hit and run of an unknown homeless woman. No suspects, but a diamond blue 1968 Lincoln with suicide doors was seen speeding away from the scene.

  The article was dated almost thirty years ago and he had a dreaded feel
ing this was Hope's mother.

  But could they have been on the street that long?

  There were trinkets in the box, along with rare coins and some Canadian change.

  He searched through the hole in the coat where he'd pulled the box from and found nothing else as far as identification for Hope. Not even a piece of mail or even a card with her name on it. The only thing he found current in the box was a pawn ticket for a hundred bucks.

  She really was who she said she was?

  Her honesty really took him aback. Would it be because he was not use to people being honest to him or the other way around?

  He really couldn't say since he couldn't remember a damn thing.

  When he discovered nothing else new about her, he put everything like it was and went back to her. She was still sound asleep.

  He knew most likely it was the good food she was not used to. Lying near her, his soul felt at ease instead of the usual restlessness about the many questions he had for himself.

  Her proximity stopped him from becoming angry about his loss of memory. If he could just remember one thing about his life so when he returned he knew if he could have her there or even help her out.

  She didn't protest when he snuggled close behind her and he even pressed his luck and pulled her body in the curve of his. She felt so good to him and he wished they could have gone further.

  Curiosity of how her body might feel naked against his made his manhood thicken.

  Getting his mind off of the temptation, he thought about the name she had said someone called him.

  James.

  He had been honest when he said he didn't feel like a James, but for some reason he felt misery upon hearing the name.

  Had he been trying to run from somewhere or go to somewhere that made him miserable?

  Damn his memory.

  Closing his eyes, he forced himself to relax and fall asleep. The morning would come and they could go to the police station or wherever they were supposed to go.

  He liked knowing Hope knew what to do. He trusted her to take care of him and he believed once he was back to normal, he would take very good care of her.

  Chapter 9

  The large weight over her was wonderful mental warmth, but there was something wrong. So much warmth had completely driven her to a coma like sleep.

  It had to be the food. Too much food had made her sleep too much.

  So much that as she came to reality, all alarms were triggered and she knew something wasn’t right.

  Stretching her eyes open, she gasped as she saw figures all around her and when she was about to fight, there was still a large weight holding her down.

  Looking down, she saw him laying over her chest and halfway over her legs completely passed out and currently oblivious to the fact that there were about twenty police officers all flashing lights down at her and some dark figures behind them standing at the foot of where she lay with the stranger. They wouldn’t have called this many cops in for squatters, she told herself. The only deduction to come up with was all these cops were here for him.

  Jona was completely terrified and on the borderline of a nervous breakdown.

  "James?" someone said behind the officers as if they couldn't believe what they were seeing. A man came forward, very well dressed like James would have been two days ago. He had some of the stranger’s facial features and was looking almost as handsome.

  "James!" he said again and kicked the stranger’s foot completely ignoring Jona.

  James aroused from his sleep, turning over and releasing Jona from gentle clutches. She immediately scrambled to a corner. The officer’s repositioned their guns and followed her.

  Jona shrieked in panic just knowing they were going to shoot her. This was the thanks she would receive for stealing that item off of the stranger. She knew this was just God's way of paying her back for what she had done.

  James jumped up and moved in front of her as if to protect her from possibly being shot.

  "What the hell is going on," he asked confused. "Why the hell are you bothering us? We didn’t do anything!"

  "James!" the other well-dressed white guy said still with a lot of confusion. "What the hell are you doing here?"

  James looked at the man and then looked back at Jona. For just a brief second, she thought she saw him look suddenly disappointed, but then his look turned to confusion.

  “D-Do you know him?” she asked.

  He looked back at the man again and then at her and shook his head with that confused look still on his face.

  The man obviously knew who the stranger was. "James! Why are you acting as if you don't know me?" the man asked furious. "What fucking games are you playing now?"

  James looked back at the man "I don't know who you are, sir, and I don't know what kind of game you think I’m playing."

  The man walked up to James and Jona spoke up. "He got shot; In the head. He can't remember anything." Everyone looked at her. "I found him."

  James knelt down to her and cupped her face. "She saved me."

  For just a moment time seemed to stop as their eyes met and she wanted to drown in the warm green of peace his eyes offered.

  The other white man cleared his throat filled with annoyance. "Bring them both to get them checked out at the hospital," he ordered the officers. "If there's any questions about his health these past days we know who to look for answers to."

  She frowned. "What about my reward?" she asked.

  "If there's nothing wrong with my brother from your attention, then you'll get whatever James feels like giving you, but for right now, while he's not in his right mind, I'm taking full custody of him and I don't care if he keeps you around like white on rice. I don't know you and I damn sure don’t trust you."

  Jona narrowed her eyes warily and knew that she never should have laid eyes on James, but despite all that, there was still the promise of the reward and she needed that money desperately.

  The officer held out his hand after they escorted James away and she allowed them to take her out of the home. She grabbed her coat as they were walking out and knew by the time they would come back, the majority of all the stuff she had collected would be looted over.

  As she stepped out into the cold day after Christmas morning, neighbors had come out of their house from all the police cars up and down the street, staring at what was going on. She could see some officers questioning next door neighbors and briefly she heard things like, “I never knew squatters were there.” “I’d seen her around the neighborhood, but I never knew who she was.” “She never bothered no one.” “No, I don’t think she was on drugs or anything like that.”

  Jona knew most of the neighbors around this area would say things like that. She had lived a life of being seen but never being known. Her father had told her once they knew you, they’d cause nothing but problems for you and he was right.

  The one time she let herself be known, she was getting problems after problems. She should have never gone back to that dumpster.

  The other white man went over to a black town car, where two people emerged. One was a very tall cruel looking black man who looked angry at the world and the other was a black woman, just as well dressed as the men and quite nice looking. For a moment, Jona thought these two were together, but the woman threw her arms around the white man, who said he was James' brother, and kissed him in worry. He said something to both of them and the cruel black man flinched his lip as if he could smell Jona’s stink all the way from where she was standing and got back in the car. The woman only looked in Jona’s direction and mouthed, “Thank you.”

  Jona was confused as they pulled her up on the ambulance where her mystery man was being treated. He took her hand and pulled her to sit down next to him.

  “Promise you won’t leave me, Hope,” he said. “Not until I can remember something.”

  “You really don’t remember anything?” she asked to be sure. Not being in control of her situation was something s
he was not used too and her stomach was doing nervous flip-flops. Every nerve wanted to run away and never be seen again, but he was holding her hand too tight. She didn’t like to be anywhere she was not familiar with and riding in an ambulance was certainly not familiar to her.

  “No,” he said. “I don’t remember that person who calls himself my brother. I can’t remember anything, Hope.”

  Reluctantly, she said, “I’ll stay. I’ll stay until you do.”

  The promise left a really bad taste in her mouth.

  Never should have gone back to the dumpster, she told herself repeatedly as the ambulance took them to the nearest hospital.

  * * *

  “As much as my family has donated to this hospital this is the fucking thanks we get? He came here yesterday for help and you’re trying to tell me no one recognized him?!” Ethan screamed. “The man's father built this very ward we stand in! How could you NOT recognize him?!”

  Jona had learned their names from hearing them speak to each other. The woman was named Nicole. Surprisingly, she was Ethan’s wife, while the cruel man who gave her back chills down to her spine, was named Jaelen. Anything he spoke was cold and cruel and Jona had made up her mind not to say anything if he was around.

  “Ethan, please calm down!” Nicole urged. “It wasn’t as if James had on anything familiar or even looked the part of a very wealthy investor.”

  “I still don’t see what the point of all this shit is,” Jaelen growled. “The man fucked your damn wife right under your fucking nose. Why the fuck are you caring, Ethan? Let’s get out of this bitch before we lose our reservations.”

  “He’s my fucking brother, you cold bastard!” Ethan hissed.

  Nicole pulled Jaelen away from Ethan as her husband continued his rant to the doctors and administrators who had come down upon the notice that James Black was being admitted.

  Yesterday, no one had made a big deal about it, but now, it was as if the fricking King of England had made his grand entrance. The hospital staff was starting tests on him all over again and Jona knew James must be frustrated about that.

  “Go home, Jaelen,” Nicole said or at least that is what her lips look like she said.