Hope Is Love

by Hubbard, Sylvia

“Am I interrupting something?” Nicole asked behind them. “I thought you were getting a cigarette, Monica?”

  Monica turned to her and smiled coyly. “I was and now I have to pee. Is that alright to do even though you’re firing my husband?”

  “Oh it’s just mess and you’re in the right place to do it,” Nicole said.

  “I was just going to my room,” Jona said uncomfortably now able to move past Monica.

  “If you could please help me with some things in the kitchen Jona, I’d appreciate you. I need to send Mitch up to be with my child so I need help serving the dessert. Do you mind?”

  Reluctantly Jona followed Nicole into the kitchen, wondering how much had this woman heard.

  “Could you go to those far right cabinets at the top and get the saucers out that matched the plates tonight, Jona?” Nicole asked kindly. There was no indication Nicole had heard anything Monica had said.

  As Jona moved over there, Nicole spoke more as she went over to a large cake in the center of the counter.

  “You didn’t eat a thing for dinner, Jona, aren’t you hungry?”

  “I’ve didn’t feel hungry.”

  “Monica and Lawton has a tendency to do that to people.” Nicole had begun to cut up the cake in slices as Jona returned to the counter with the stack of saucers. “What are you planning, Jona? Are you planning to leave or stay?”

  Jona’s nerves were shot knowing Nicole had guessed the plan for tonight. Lying anymore made her sicker. “What if I am, Nicole? You’ll tell or that police officer and have them put me in jail right?”

  “You made promises.”

  “Promises are easily broken,” Jona retorted quickly.

  Nicole put everything down and glared hard at her. “Why Jona? What's happened to make you want to leave?”

  Jona shook her head. The truth hurt to speak and she was ashamed she’d kept too herself so long. She couldn’t trust that Nicole wouldn’t go back and speak to her husband about the case.

  Monica would find out and immediately destroy everything and then where would that leave Jona? With nothing and Jona didn’t want to be nothing - Unseen, but never

  nothing.

  Nicole must have surmised Jona wasn’t going to answer her line of question and changed up. “Where will you go? Back out on the streets? In the middle of winter?”

  “I’ve survived colder winters, Nicole,” Jona said. “And why would I tell you when you’ll just tell James so he can find me.”

  “What can I do to promise you I won’t tell anyone? Not even my husband. I promise.”

  Jona met Nicole’s soft brown trusting eyes.

  “On the life of my daughter, I swear on her innocent soul, I’ll never tell anything you tell me from this point on,” Nicole promised.

  Taking a deep breath, Jona knew sooner or later she was going to have to trust someone. There was misery wallowing in her gut and there was emotional pains from the guilt she was holding back. The time seemed now to tell Nicole at least the answer to the question.

  “I don’t know exactly the address, but it’s two blocks away from the west freeway ninety-six. On the other side of the railroad tracks where no one goes anymore because all the houses have been burned down or broken down. Only stray dogs, wild animals and people who have no homes go that way. But there’s a house, leaning on another house that’s burned down. Go to the one that’s the worst of the two with the yellow curb.”

  “That’s where you’ll be?” Nichole asked.

  Jona shook her head. “No, but there will be someone there who can find me.”

  “But-”

  “I’ll be on the street, Nicole. And I won’t be able to be contacted.”

  “You could take the phone.”

  “No.”

  Nicole went over to another drawer and pulled out an envelope. “And this. You could take this, please.”

  Jona took the envelope. Inside was five hundred dollars in cash.

  “We leave it for emergencies around the house, but I won’t tell Ethan it’s gone. I can replace it.”

  “I can’t accept this, Nicole. People would get suspicious with this amount of money.”

  “Please, no one will know and Ethan isn’t suffering enough to care. James would have wanted me to do this. Trust me.”

  Jona nodded. “Fine.”

  Nicole hugged Jona tightly. “Take care of yourself. Whatever the reason you have to leave, but even if I don’t say anything, I must warn you that James is going to be pretty persistent when it comes to looking for you.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Once I’m on the streets I can’t be found. I’ve done this all my life. James will forget about me once he gets his memory back.”

  “And the people that tried to kill him?”

  Jona went to the door. “Hopefully when he gets his memory he’ll understand evil was right in his face all along.”

  “Jona!” Nicole cried out, but Jona didn’t stop.

  She went up to her room to clean up and prepare until the house went to sleep.

  When James came up thirty minutes later, she had on pajamas and pretended to be in a deep exhaustive sleep. She listened as he took a shower and then came back to the bed. Her stomach hurt with guilt as he pulled her gently in his arms and then began to speak to her as if she was awake.

  Chapter 27

  James had worried so much when Nicole came back in the dining room sans Jona, but she whispered something to Ethan and they both looked at James.

  Ethan was kind enough to dismiss James from the table.

  He took two steps at a time and entered the room breathless.

  The guilt of his deception had really nawed at his gut as he listened to Lawton try to dispute his hold over their company because of James disappearing memory Yet James didn’t want to reveal he was ninety percent fine; not before he told Jona. She deserved to know before anyone and then help him explain to his brother somehow. He needed her support in this matter because this was the first time James had not wanted to be the bad person.

  He actually wanted to be truthful and honest with a woman. Jona made him want everything good that he had tried to deny he wanted with a woman. With her he knew he could be a better man and find the peace in his soul he’d always envied Ethan had in his life.

  Disappointment set in to see Jona peaceful in slumber because of the deep need to speak to her. He peeled the clothes off himself quickly and went to the bathroom to shower.

  When he returned, his mind was made up to speak and not give himself a reason not to say anything. Even though she was sleep, he thought it best to at least start to practice on what he wanted to say to her.

  “Hope, I know you would probably kill me if you were awake or try to beat me up like you did those guys in the alley, but I can’t keep this any longer and I need to tell you before anyone else.” He kissed her brow gently. “I’ve been lying to you. I’ve gotten some of my memory back and I remember everything before the attempt on my life. Now I don’t remember what happened that day or there are some black spots leading to months before that, but I do know one thing that I don’t want to be the man I was. I love the man I am with you because I love you.”

  He wished her to awake but she wasn’t, yet confessing like this felt comfortable for him. “I wish I could have told you my memory was back that second night in the alley, but I selfishly did it so I could keep you around longer. I know it was wrong but I didn’t know how to just tell you I wanted you to stay. And deep down inside, I knew you wouldn’t, but now...” He gently rubbed down her breast

  Jona gasped and open her eyes to glare up at him.

  James flushed. “I should have known you were a light sleeper. How long have you been awake, Hope?” he asked.

  “For the whole thing, James,” she said disgusted sitting up completely and moving on the edge of the bed. “You’ve gotten your memory back.”

  “I said not completely.”

  “How do I know you’re not lying to me about that
?” she asked incredulously as she stood up on the other side of the bed glaring down at him.

  Even in her soft pink pajamas he knew Nicole picked out for her and that damn scarf around her head, she was still sexy as hell. James had always hated when a woman didn’t look her best. In the past, he had expected supermodel 24/7, yet with Jona, no matter how she looked he found something so wonderfully beautiful about her. Perhaps because he’d seen her at her worst and now that she was looking even halfway decent, he was aroused just the same.

  “You don’t,” he said obviously, forcing himself to stay focus and speak on the subject at hand instead of trying to figure out a way to pull her back down under him and kiss her until his lips fell off. “But I would think the fact that I love you enough to tell you the truth would make you see that I’m not lying to you.”

  Her brain wanted to scream while her heart wanted to explode all at the same time.

  James couldn’t believe those words had come out of his mouth because he’d never heard himself say that to even his own mother or any woman who had been close to him. Yet, now as he knew he admitted his love for her, he wished he’d said it sooner because he felt more than ever Jona was going to be his woman for the rest of his life.

  “You don’t love me, James,” she said losing the steam of anger she had. “You’re just happy I saved your life.”

  “The reward was because I was happy you saved my life,” he said getting out of the bed and standing up in front of her. She didn’t stop him from pulling her into his arms and pressing her body against his. “Loving you is because I don’t know when it happened after I got my memory back, but I determined I needed you in my life, Hope. You make me a better man, just like I said and no woman could ever make me feel like that even if I lived to eternity. I know what I want, I’ve always known what I wanted and I’ve gone after it. Now I want you in my life, Hope and I mean to prove that to you every waking moment of your life. I plan on making you happy and give you anything you desire.”

  She was breathless and overwhelmed at his admission because she knew he was being honest.

  James warily leaned down and kissed her. She accepted his lips against hers and even opened her arms to wrap around his neck while she struggled to stand on her tiptoes. He lifted her and laid her on the bed, underneath him shivering at the thought they’d make love from start to finish in a bed. He’d make sure Jona would never want to go out on the streets and lay in filth ever again.

  * * *

  When her brain finally got her to open her eyes, she wanted to curse, but any sudden movement might wake up James. His arms were around her waist, her backside was pressed against his groin and her legs were entwined with his.

  Her whole body cried when she started to move - Even her soul didn’t want to move, yet Jona knew she had to or lose her father’s most precious memory.

  Slowly moving her legs and then pulling her body away from his, he moaned a little. Jona brought the pillow behind her to take her place and then rolled out of the bed.

  Collecting her energy, she pulled the clothes and hoodie she had put under the bed and she quickly put on the underwear, shirt, two pairs of socks and jogging pants. There was another set of pants in her bag and a very warm sweater, but she needed to first get out of the house. Grabbing her boots she had situated, Jona slowly opened the door.

  James made a small groan of longing that made her pause not in alert that he would wake up but in temptation to get back in the bed and enjoy the warmth his arms made her feel on the inside and out.

  Tonight, he made love to her as if he needed to touch every inch of her at least twice. His ravenous passion was infectious and Jona had opened her soul to receive and give him just as much as he gave.

  When she finally had the door fully opened, she grabbed the bag, plus the coat she had put behind the dresser by the door before getting in bed and she forced herself not to look back, which her body ached to go back to.

  Going out quickly, she closed the door behind her and then she stayed low in the shadows against the wall until she was at the top of the back stairs. The house was so quiet, she could almost hear her heartbeat in her chest as the muscle pumped so fast in fear of being caught and heartbreak as she found herself further and further from James.

  Jona was just going on instinct as she moved down the stairs without making noise to the back door. She put her boots and jacket on before going out. Just as Mitch had said, he left the back opened and instead of her crawling out of the portal Monica wanted her to go, she was able to get outside.

  Opening the door to the shed, the smell of her coat almost made her throw up. Not being used to the smell, she knew she couldn’t take the coat with her, but there was small things still inside like her lighter and miniature tool bag and even a first aid kit. Quickly she took these items and closed the shed up.

  Just as Monica told her, she was able to get over the wooden fence in the back and then run down the alley until she was at the next cross street.

  Jona put the extra pair of socks in her bag on her hands and headed until she knew the bus routes.

  This is for the best, she kept telling herself. In a week, she would come around these people just to get her case and then never have to be around them ever again.

  So why did it feel like she had ripped her heart out of her chest and left it there with James?

  * * *

  The simultaneous scream and crash made James jump up from the bed ready to wrestle an alligator. When he realized that he wasn’t sleeping on a site but supposedly safe in a bedroom at his brother’s home, he determined somehow Jona must have slipped out of his hug and gone downstairs. He put on a robe to join her.

  When he had finally let his brain go to sleep after his voracious lovemaking with her, he told himself he would ask Jona to marry him today.

  She accepted him for all he had done and even though she had never said the words, James had no doubt in his mind that Jona cared and loved him. She was just scared of his world and what he could give her, but James was willing to do all he could do in order to give her the safety and security that would guarantee Jona wanted to stay forever with him.

  Ethan burst through the bedroom door just as James was about to leave out, looking around as if he had lost something very valuable.

  “Where is she, James?” Ethan demanded to know.

  “Hope?” James questioned.

  “No, the fucking tooth fairy.” Ethan pushed past James to check the bathroom and even the closet frantically. “Who the hell else could I be talking about?”

  James started to worry. “She’s not in here! She’s not downstairs?”

  “Hell no!” Ethan hissed. “And I got Sheriff fucking Heart about to rip my ass a new one if I don’t tell him her whereabouts!”

  “She’s not downstairs?!” James exclaimed loudly. “Are you sure?”

  “Fucking positive according to Onyx Heart.”

  His stomach felt like it had dropped to the floor and fear welled in his veins at the name he heard come out of Ethan’s mouth. “O-Onyx Heart?” he asked worriedly.

  “Yeah, that bitch is here. She scared the bejesus out of my wife sneaking in and standing over our bed while we slept as if she planned on killing us in our sleep.” Ethan rubbed his wrist. “Flipped my fucking ass like a pancake when I attacked without looking. If I’d known it was her, I’d have slowed my rolled.”

  “What is she doing here, Ethan? Where is Hope?”

  “Onyx Heart knows something, but she wants you downstairs right now because she thinks you let her get away.”

  Chapter 28

  James ran down the stairs taking as many as he could without breaking his neck. When he entered the front room, he first saw the disgruntled over six foot man about as wide as a linebacker with the smokiest obsidian eyes looking like he wanted to break James in half.

  “Fucker,” the man sneered under his breath.

  “Easy Sheriff,” a feminine voice said with a little
amusement from a corner, but Onyx Heart’s face belied her tone of voice. She was known as a stone cold bitch that could take a man ten times her size of five foot four and a half without thinking about it. Her body was listed as a dangerous weapon and she was one of the world’s best in hand to hand combat.

  As was her usual style, she sported a mid-calf leather black jacket, tight black pants, black shirt and knee high black boots with a four inch heel.

  Her soft caramel skin was flawless and her sultry looks made a man aroused instantly. Her shoulder length pitch black hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she sported a knife down on her thigh.

  James had no doubt this woman knew how to use the weapon, but with her skills, she really didn’t need anything.

  “James Black, did you know your bloodline has crazy running through it?” she inquired. “Funny, you don’t look insane.”

  “Our bloodline has nothing to do with this!” Ethan said protectively. “My father only mentions my uncle once when we were teens and we never spoke on it ever again. Plus why would James remember that when he doesn’t even remember I’m his brother, Onyx.”

  “Where is she?” James asked blinded by concern for Jona.

  “Isn’t that something I should ask you?” Onyx questioned raising a slim brow in curiosity. “A woman like that just ups and walks out a well secured house without help? What she do? Fuck you into forgetting?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Nicole and James entered the room.

  “The Fucker is lying, just like I told you he would,” Sheriff sneered.

  “I’m not a fucker and I really don’t know where she could be, but we need to get over to where she used to stay and see if we can find out where we can find her,” James demanded.

  “So it’s true?” Nicole asked wringing her fingers and looking frustrated. “She’s gone? Jona ran away?”

  Sheriff answered, while Onyx looked clearly vexed. “She somehow got out through a sealed home and over the fence. We tracked her running down the alley, but after that we aren’t sure what direction she went in.”