by Niles, Naomi
“Someone call nine-one-one,” a man yelled.
“Someone call the police,” someone else cried.
Alan, Sam, John, and I knelt around Talen as he continued to hold onto Peter’s body with the conviction of a man who believed he could turn back time with the force of his will. He was rocking him back and forth, his eyes desperate and terrified.
“Don’t die on me now, Pete,” Talen whispered to his older brother with all the emotion he had been hiding before. “Don’t die on me.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Alan
There was blood on my hands and on my shirt. I could smell it all around me, like some terrible reminder that flashed through my mind every two seconds. I was conscious of Jessica sitting next to me as we drove to the hospital, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I couldn’t say a word to her, mainly because I had no idea what to say.
I kept reliving the moment in my head, but I still couldn’t say what had happened. I had seen Peter and Talen, their bodies stiff with tension, as they had faced Maddow and his gang. Peter’s voice had raised with authority, and Talen pushed Maddow away. And then everything had turned blurry. There was a scuffle, the promise of physical violence, and then the gunshot had blasted through the air.
My first thought had been of fireworks, but then reality hit as panic set into the crowd and people started running with no direction and screaming with fear. At that point, I hadn’t even connected the sound to Peter or Talen. I had just grabbed Jessica and shielded her with my body. Then I looked up and, through a maze of running legs, I saw Talen on the ground, cradling Peter as though he were dead.
This can’t be happening.
John had gotten into the ambulance with Peter, and Sam and Talen were driving to the hospital separately in Sam’s vehicle. I was driving a little fast, but I couldn’t seem to slow down. I just wanted to see Peter again and make sure he was okay.
The moment we parked, I raced into the hospital with Jessica right behind me. Sam and Talen emerged moments later, their faces thick with panic and worry.
“Where’s John?” Sam asked immediately. “Where’s Peter?”
“I lost the ambulance,” I breathed. “They would have gone through already.”
“There he is,” Jessica said.
We turned, and John was there. An imprint of fingers on the front of his shirt, written with blood, made my stomach lurch. He approached us slowly, as though he were shocked.
“What happened?” I asked immediately, stepping forward as Sam and Talen converged around him. “Where’s Peter?”
“They took him in,” John replied. “They’ll have to perform surgery. They won’t know the damage until they open him up.”
“Fuck!” Sam said, running a hand through his hair.
“Oh God,” Talen sighed, his face creased with worry, making him look younger. But the moment he spoke, I was suddenly furious.
I turned on him, the full force of my worry and fear culminating in anger. “What the fuck did you do?” I demanded.
There was a moment of silence as Talen stared at me. “What do you mean?”
“You’re the reason he’s in there,” I threw at him. “You’re the reason Peter might die.”
“Whoa,” John said, stepping in between us. “Let’s calm down.”
“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Talen asked, taking a step forward toward me.
“Why was Maddow at the carnival?” I yelled.
“Fuck knows!” Talen yelled back. “I didn’t invite him.”
“You’re saying that Maddow and his gang just wanted a go on the giant wheel?”
“It’s a free fucking country, isn’t it?” Talen said. “I had nothing to do with him being there!”
“Guys!” John said, raising his voice urgently. “Stop it right now. We are in the middle of the emergency room. There are patients here… if you want to do this, then take it outside.”
“Fine,” I said, moving for the door with Talen at my heels.
The moment we made it out the hospital’s sliding doors, Talen and I turned to one another with force. “You expect me to believe that you don’t have a relationship with Maddow anymore?” I asked.
“That’s exactly what I expect you to believe,” Talen replied fiercely. “Because it’s the truth.”
“Then why did he head straight for you?” I demanded.
John and Sam were standing on either side of us, exchanging worried glances and trying to calm us both down, but the argument was too heated and we were both too emotional.
“Because he’s a fucking bully,” Talen hissed. “Because I was with Peter, because he hates Peter, and because Maddow loves any excuse to start something.”
“What have you been doing these last few months?” I demanded. “Why are you covered in bruises? Who have you been hanging out with?”
“Fuck you, Alan!” Talen yelled in my face as he took a step closer.
His hands balled up into fists, and I glared at him through narrowed eyes. “What are you going to do, little brother?” I challenged him. “Are you going to deck me now?”
Talen’s face froze with fury. “I would if I thought you’d be able to take it,” Talen said in a low, deadly voice. “But since I know what a fucking pussy you are…”
I moved forward threateningly, but Sam stepped in between us and pushed us back. Making use of the distance between Talen and myself, John stepped into the middle and held his hands up to both of us. “Enough,” he said. “Enough now. Peter would not want this.”
At the mention of Peter’s name, both Talen and I fell silent and we stared at the ground, because it was easier than looking at each other.
John’s voice was calm and measured when he spoke. “Alan, I know you’re upset and worried and scared. We all are, but taking your anger out on Talen isn’t going to make you feel any better. He had nothing to do with what happened tonight.”
I concentrated on my breathing and when I finally looked up again, John’s words had pierced through my anger. “I know,” I sighed. “Talen… I’m sorry.”
Talen seemed to deflate at my words. He sighed deeply and nodded in acknowledgment. The four of us stood there in an uneven circle, painfully aware that someone was missing from ring. It felt incomplete without Peter. It felt wrong.
“Let’s… go inside,” John said finally.
We walked back to the waiting room, and I found Jessica sitting in a corner by herself. She had her arms wrapped around her body and looked like she was shivering a little. I moved toward her immediately and sat down beside her.
“Jessica,” I said, and she looked up at me as though I had startled her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said uncertainly. “Are you?”
I smiled shakily. “I’m… not quite sure.”
She reached out immediately and took my hand. “I’m so sorry, Alan.”
“No, I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I should have had you back home an hour ago. I can drive you back now.”
“No,” Jessica replied immediately. “I want to stay here with you… at least until we know that Peter is okay.”
“He will be,” I said, hoping against hope that my optimism would carry Peter through his surgery. “And the others are here. I can take you home.”
“I know.” Jessica smiled. “And I’m grateful. But you should be here with your brothers.”
“But your father…”
“Forget that,” Jessica said, silencing me. “My problems don’t even compare to yours. We’re staying right here.”
I nodded gratefully and held fast to Jessica’s hand. It made me feel stronger, like she was the one who was holding me together. We sat there in a small, silent group, each one immersed in their own thoughts. Every so often, when the door to the surgical unit opened, we would look up together, as if on cue.
Almost two hours later, the door opened again, and this time John rose to his feet. “Doctor Stewart,” John said urgently. “How is he
?”
“He’s doing well,” Doctor Stewart replied as we converged around him. “The bullet missed all his major organs. He was extremely lucky.”
“Thank God,” Sam breathed as Jessica gripped my hand a little tighter.
“He did lose a significant amount of blood however,” Doctor Stewart continued, and my heart stalled a little. “We had to put him into a medically induced coma.”
“So… he’s not conscious yet?” John asked.
“No,” Doctor Stewart replied. “But we’re optimistic. He’ll wake up when he’s ready.”
John started asking the doctor a bunch of medical jargon that had the rest of us completely lost. When he was done, the doctor gave us a sympathetic nod and excused himself as John turned to us.
“Well, what that last part about?” Sam asked immediately.
“I was just asking for some of the details,” John replied.
“Isn’t being in a coma a bad sign?” Talen asked.
“Not necessarily,” John replied evenly. “It was induced to give his body time to recover before he becomes conscious. But he’s out of danger, and he should make a full recovery.”
“Once he wakes up?” I asked.
“Once he wakes up,” John said somberly.
We stood there a little while longer before Jessica tugged at my hand. I looked at her questioningly, and she led me to a quiet little corner where we could talk freely.
“Are you okay?” she asked with concern.
“Better now,” I replied. “I’ll just feel a whole lot better once Peter wakes up.”
“Of course.” Jessica nodded. “I’m so glad he’s okay. You have no idea.”
I leaned in and kissed her. “Thank you for staying.”
“I was thinking, Alan,” Jessica started slowly. “I’m going to take a cab back home. You should stay here with your brothers.”
“Not a chance,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m driving you back.”
“Alan.”
“No arguments,” I said forcefully. “Let’s go.”
I waited till Jessica said goodbye to my brothers and then we headed for the car. The drive back seemed long in my mind, but only because I was worried about Peter and his recovery. My thoughts were chaotic, and Jessica seemed to understand that. She kept her hand on my knee the whole drive back, and I was deeply grateful for her silent support.
The lane was as dark and silent as stone when we pulled up outside her house but I noticed that there was a light on in the second floor. She seemed to notice that, too, and she tensed visibly.
She turned to me with a small smile. “Thank you for driving me back.”
“I’m sorry I have to rush off.”
“Don’t apologize,” she said. “I understand.”
I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. “You are amazing,” I said sincerely.
Jessica smiled and the worry left her green eyes for a moment. “No,” she replied. “You are. Say hello to Peter for me when he wakes up.”
I nodded. “I’ll do that for sure.”
She got out of the car and walked down the drive to her front door, but I didn’t wait till she was inside to start driving. I wanted to get back to the hospital as soon as possible. I glanced at my phone and registered the time. It was almost four in the morning, and I wondered how Jessica’s father would react to her coming home at this hour.
I shook the thought from my head. I didn’t have the capacity to worry about anything else at that point. The only person on my mind was Peter.
Chapter Thirty
Jessica
I paused at the door for only a second. I knew my father would be up, waiting for me, and I was terrified. I felt like a child waiting to be dealt her punishment, and I hadn’t even walked through the door yet. I had seventeen missed calls from both parents on my phone, but I hadn’t returned any of them.
While Alan had been talking to his brothers, I had sent my mother a quick text that said I was okay and I would be back in an hour. That had been a few hours ago. I swallowed the fear and walked through the door. There were no lights on downstairs, but I heard my parents’ room door open and then a moment later, light flooded the hall.
“Jessica!” Dad’s voice was raised with anger as he appeared on the stairwell.
I just stared at him, unable to say anything. My mother stood behind him, and she was looking at me with wide eyes.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded.
I glanced at Mom but she shook her head helplessly. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I hated seeing that look in his eye. I hated the disappointment he was throwing at me like a curse. It burned me, and I wanted to withdraw from it immediately.
“Answer me, Jessica,” Dad said authoritatively.
“I was… out,” I stammered.
“I know that much,” Dad replied sternly. “I want to know where.”
“Mom must have told you,” I said in a soft voice.
“She told me eventually,” he said, casting a hard glance in my mother’s direction. “But she told me reluctantly after the tenth call we made to you went unanswered. I would still like to hear it from you.”
“I went out with a friend,” I said.
“What?” Dad asked. “I can’t hear you.”
“I went out with a friend.”
“You lied to me,” Dad said accusingly. “You lied to me and you bullied your mother into lying to me, too.”
“Fred, don’t,” Mom said, flying quickly to my defense. “She didn’t do anything of the sort. I was only trying to help.”
“Be quiet, Lucille,” Dad said.
It was the way he snapped at her, as though she were no more than a reckless child, that turned the tide. Until then, I was just a scared little girl, but the way he spoke to my mother made me realize that I was only a few years away from turning into her. And I didn’t want that.
“Maybe you are the one who should be quiet,” I said, raising my voice to make sure he heard me.
Both of them stopped in their tracks and turned to look at me as though they were unsure who had spoken. My mother’s eyes were wide with shock and my father paled visibly.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me,” I said with strength in my voice. Now that I had spoken up, I found it hard to silence myself or exhibit any sort of self-control. “You have no right to speak to Mom like that. And you have no right to speak to me like that either.”
“I don’t, do I?” Dad asked in a shocked voice. “I am your father!”
“I’m aware,” I said calmly. “And I respect and love you, but that does not give you the right to control my life. I am not a child. I am a grown woman. I am twenty-three and the fact that I need to remind you of that is a travesty.”
“How dare you speak to me like that?” Dad said, as his face went red.
“Believe me, Dad, I would rather not have this conversation with you at all. But you’ve forced my hand. I’m an adult. I’m sick of being treated like a child. I’m sick of having to account for every moment that I spend out of this house. I’m sick of feeling guilty for wanting more than swimming. I’m sick of having to think up lies to tell you just so that I can steal two minutes of freedom away from this house. I’m sick of all of it.”
Dad looked at me in shock. His eyes were bulging, and I could tell that he was finding it hard to stomach being spoken to like that. He had never been questioned. He had never been corrected, and he had certainly never been reprimanded before. He was used to living in a world where his word was law and now that I was challenging him, he couldn’t take it.
As I was speaking, I realized that Winnie was right. I had the power to make the difference all along. I was an adult, I had my own money, and there was nothing my father could force me to do. I was independent, and I was in charge of my own life. I had made the mistake of handing it over to my father years ago, but now it was time to take it back. Now that I was speaking up, I found it hard to hol
d anything inside.
“And just so you know,” I continued passionately. “I went to a carnival tonight… with a guy. His name is Alan, and I think he’s an amazing person and a really good man. For the first time in my life, I’m truly and completely happy. And it wasn’t until recently that I realized that you were wrong. You were wrong about so many things. Swimming isn’t the most important thing, at least not to me. I want more than that. I want a life outside of swimming, too.
“Don’t get me wrong. I want to win gold, and maybe one day I will have it, but I know that at the end of the day, if somehow I miss out on that chance… I’ll be okay. I won’t regret it. I won’t miss out on anything. But what I will regret is missing out on the other things in life. I will regret not meeting a guy, or getting married, or having kids. I will miss out on having a normal life, and that is what I want more than anything else in the world.”
When I finally stopped ranting, my dad just stared at me for a long time. When he finally spoke, I could tell that he was trying very hard to be calm. “So that’s it, huh?” he asked. “That’s how it’s going to be from now on? You’re the adult and you’re making the decisions, regardless of how I feel?”
I sighed and shook my head in disappointment. “You don’t get it, do you, Dad? This isn’t about you. It’s not about how you feel. Frankly, it doesn’t matter how you feel because this is my life.”
Dad nodded. Then he turned to my mother. “And you agree with her… don’t you?”
“She’s not a little girl anymore, Fred,” Mom said cautiously.
He nodded once. Then he looked at me and nodded again. “Fine then,” he said coldly. “Since my opinion means nothing in this house anymore, I don’t see any reason why I should stay.”
“Fred…” Mom said pleadingly.
“I’ll be at the Florida house,” he said and then he grabbed his coat and he was out the door in a matter of minutes.
Mom and I stared after him in shock and the moment the silence had settled, the weight of what had just happened fell over me. I looked over at my mother’s pale face and I wanted to reach out to her, but my hands were frozen pillars at my side.