by Niles, Naomi
“How?”
“They’re friends.”
“And you are what exactly?” Winnie asked.
I sighed. “Maybe I am overthinking.”
“You most definitely are,” Winnie said fervently. “Maybe you should consider the fact that the thing that Alan needs most right now is you.”
“If that were true, then he would have called me, he would have asked me to come down.”
“Maybe he doesn’t feel like he has a right to, considering you’re not technically his girlfriend,” Winnie said reasonably. “In any case, he’s the one in a tight spot here, Jess, which means you need to make the first move.”
I nodded. “I think I’ll drive there today after practice.”
“Atta girl,” Winnie replied approvingly. “Would you like me to come down with you?”
“No, I’m good,” I said. “But thanks for the offer.”
Once my mind was made up, all I wanted to do was skip out on the rest of practice and start the drive immediately. But I knew that Coach would throw a fit, and I really needed the extra training what with the Olympics looming overhead. So, I sucked it up and barreled ahead with training, using all my pent-up emotion to carry me farther and faster in the pool.
I called Mom to let her know I would be home late and then I left the facility at seven-thirty. I picked up some flowers on the way and by the time I reached the hospital, it was almost nine. I asked for Peter Burbank’s room and then I walked to the third floor and knocked on the door; it was answered moments later by Sam.
“Hi,” he said in surprise. “Jessica.”
“Hi, Sam,” I replied. “How are you?”
“I’m all right,” he said with an open smile. “A little tired, but I can’t complain. Come on in.”
“Is Alan here?”
“No,” Sam said in confusion. “Does he not know you’re here?”
“No,” I replied. “I didn’t want to disturb him. But I did want to see how Peter was doing, so I thought I’d drive down. I also brought some flowers.”
“Wow, that was nice of you,” Sam said, as he accepted the flowers from me. “Why don’t you sit down?”
I took a seat and then Sam sat down next to me after putting the flowers away. “We take shifts so that Peter is never alone at any point. I relieved Alan a few hours ago.”
“Peter’s lucky to have all of you,” I said. “I look at you guys and it makes me wish I had siblings.”
Sam smiled. After a moment, he turned to me with a serious expression on his face. “That night must have been a shock to you… the night of the carnival.”
“It doesn’t even feel real at this point,” I admitted. “Sometimes it feels as though I’ve imagined the whole thing.”
“I have that, too,” Sam said. “And then I look at Peter and…”
“What happened to the guy who shot him?” I asked. “Has anyone been arrested?”
“No one.” Sam shook his head. “A bunch of Peter’s work buddies were here this morning, and they said that they have no eyewitnesses. They don’t have enough evidence to arrest anyone. Whoever shot at Peter did it really well.”
“What do you think happened?”
“It was one of Maddow’s boys. He had a gun in his coat pocket and he fired it through the coat without ever having to remove it.”
“So it wasn’t Maddow himself who shot Peter?”
“No.” Sam shook his head. “That much we’re certain of.”
I sighed. “It all feels so surreal.”
“To us, too,” Sam agreed.
“And… how is Talen?” I asked, having seen the friction between Talen and the rest of his brothers.
Sam smiled. “Doing well considering. We’ve all made peace, and we’re trying to band together for Peter’s sake. It’s what he would have wanted anyway.”
“Sometimes when you guys talk about Peter… it feels like he’s your father.”
“In lots of ways he is,” Sam replied. “He took on that role the moment our dad died. He’s been our silent protector this whole time.”
“Does he have a girlfriend?” I asked curiously.
Sam smiled. “No, he doesn’t. In fact, I think Alan’s the only one with a… lady friend at the moment.”
I laughed at how he had put it. “I don’t get how guys like you are single.”
Sam smiled as though he was flattered, but there was a deeper reason behind that smile. “Let’s just say that the Burbank men have never had much luck in love. I think some of us feel that it’s better to stay away from the whole thing entirely.”
“It sounds like you don’t want a girlfriend.”
Sam smiled. “I like to have fun. And I like to spread the love. That’s good enough for me at this point.”
“Fair enough,” I laughed.
“To be honest with you… I never thought any of us were the settling down type. I just figured we’d have fun with our lives and die as cranky old bachelors. I’ve seen Alan with a few different girls, but… he was different this time with you.”
“How do you mean?” I asked curiously.
“You weren’t just another girl he was with,” Sam said. “He actually looked like a man in love… at least to me.”
“Oh,” I said, coloring slightly. “I don’t know about that.”
Sam shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
I smiled and nodded. We spent a pleasant half an hour chatting about different things, including my rigorous training regime and the upcoming Olympics games. Then, at ten-thirty, I decided to call it a night.
“Thank you so much for coming, Jessica,” Sam said fervently. “And thanks for keeping me company. I had no idea it was so late.”
“Hey, I enjoyed our chat as much as you did,” I said sincerely.
“I can give you our address and directions on how to get to the house,” Sam told me. “I’m sure Alan would love to see you.”
“And I’d love to see him,” I said. “But it’s late and he’s probably tired. I wouldn’t want to tire him out before his next shift.”
“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “John should be at the house, too.”
“I’m positive. I would like you to give this to him though.” I took out the small piece of paper I had kept in my pocket the whole drive over. It was folded three times over in a neat square. I handed it to Sam.
“Of course,” he said. “I’ll make sure he gets this.”
“Thank you,” I replied as he walked me to the door.
“I hope you come back and visit again soon.”
“I would love to,” I replied. “But the team’s leaving for Rio tomorrow night.”
“Already?”
“We’re going a little earlier than necessary,” I told him. “It was a last-minute decision.”
“Wow.” Sam nodded. “Well, then… good luck!”
I smiled. “Thanks. I’m aiming for gold this time, so I’ll need it.”
“Something tells me you’re going to win,” Sam said.
I laughed. “You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m not.” Sam shook his head. “I’ve seen you swim… you’re more than good.”
“You’ve seen me swim?” I asked.
Sam gave me a mischievous smile. “John, Peter, and I Googled you before the carnival.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Good night, Sam.”
“Good night, Jessica,” Sam replied. “I’m glad you’re with Alan.”
I couldn’t express how nice his words were, like a giant hug that had me feeling I was a part of the family. I wondered fancifully if maybe one day, I would be.
Stop it, Jessica. You’ve been reading too many love stories.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Alan
I pushed the door open and stepped in lightly. The curtains were still drawn and Sam was asleep on the sofa in the corner that doubled up as a bed. He was wrapped in a blanket that barely covered his long frame and if it hadn’t been for the circumstances
, I might have laughed.
I walked over to Peter and stroked back the hair that was falling onto his head. He had some stubble layering his jaw and cheeks now, and even his hair was overgrown. The doctors said that his vitals were good and that he would wake up any day now, but that was getting harder to believe. I kept imagining Sam, John, Talen, and I standing around Peter’s bed, but we weren’t young men any more. We were all bent with old age, rheumy eyed and arthritic.
“Hi.” Sam’s voice carried softly across the room.
I looked up and found him in an upright position, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Morning.” I nodded to him. “Slept well?”
“Not really,” Sam sighed. “The nurses come in to check up on him every half an hour. Not that I’m complaining or anything…” he added quickly.
I turned back to Peter. “Looks like in a few days Pete’s going to have a full beard,” I observed. “He would hate that.”
“I was thinking of shaving him myself yesterday,” Sam said. “And then I thought better of it.”
I laughed. “I can do it this evening,” I said, as I moved to sit down beside Sam.
“This evening?” Sam asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Why?”
“When are you planning on getting back to the facility?” Sam asked curiously.
“I can’t leave now, Sam,” I said in a tired voice. “Peter needs me here.”
“I don’t think he does actually,” Sam said, shaking his head. “I think if he were awake, he’d tell you to get your butt back to the facility to continue your training.”
“He’s not the boss of me.”
Sam laughed. “He’s the boss of all of us and you know it.”
I leaned back and shook my head. “I’ve competed in the Olympics before and I’ll compete again… I just don’t have the desire to compete right now.”
“They’re leaving for Rio today, you know,” Sam said knowingly. “The whole team.”
“Yes, I know that,” I said. “Langdon told me when he came down to visit. The question is, how do you know that?”
Sam glanced sideways at me. “Peter had a visitor last night. Jessica stopped by.”
“Jessica?” I repeated in surprise.
“The flowers are from her,” Sam said, gesturing to the pretty assortment of yellow, white, and pink flowers in the corner.
“Geez,” I said. “I didn’t even see those.”
“You can be remarkably unobservant sometimes,” Sam said.
I shot him a look. “What did she say?”
“She said she wanted to see how Peter was doing,” Sam replied. “I’m assuming she wanted to see you, too, but you weren’t here, and she didn’t want to disturb you by dropping by the house. She wanted me to give you this.”
Sam handed me a small folded note, and I gazed at it for a long minute.
“You’re not going to open it?” Sam asked.
“Not at the moment,” I said.
“Why not?”
I slipped the note into my shirt pocket and sighed. “Because I don’t want to, okay?”
Sam continued to stare at me.
“If you have something to say, Sam, just say it.”
“You haven’t spoken to her much since the shooting, have you?” he asked.
“I’ve been a little preoccupied,” I replied.
“Preoccupied by what exactly?” Sam wanted to know. “Peter or by your own personal demons?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Alan,” Sam laughed. “I know you… partly because we’re brothers and partly because I can be a lot like you sometimes. Jessica is not Mom.”
His words were piercing, even though I was already aware of the thought myself. I had spent the last few days cocooned in my childhood home, reliving memories from over a decade ago. It had left me feeling deflated and disappointed.
“I know she’s not,” I sighed. “But that doesn’t mean she’s not capable of hurting me.”
Sam shrugged. “That will be true of every single woman you meet. You have to work with probabilities here. There’s a probability that every woman you could potentially have a relationship with will hurt you, which means you need to pick a woman with the least likely probability to hurt you. I think that’s Jessica.”
“You do?” I asked in surprise.
“We had a chance to talk a little last night.” Sam smiled. “She’s a really great girl. And you know what else?”
“What?”
“She didn’t remind me of Mom at all,” Sam said. “Not even a little bit.”
I smiled. “I don’t know how to…”
“How to what?”
“I don’t know how to tell her… how I feel,” I admitted.
“Okay.” Sam smiled. “Pretend I’m Jessica.”
“Dear God.”
Sam ignored me. “Pretend I’m Jessica… tell me how you feel?” He leaned in a little and batted his eyelashes at me.
I burst into laughter and shook my head. “How about I just try and articulate to you how I feel about Jessica?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine. If you want to be simplistic about it.”
I shook my head at him and then descended into silence as I tried to put my thoughts into words. Words were forming in my head when a noise from Peter’s bed had Sam and I jumping to our feet.
“What was that?” Sam asked urgently.
Sam was looking at Peter’s monitors when Peter’s eyes fluttered open. “Oh, my god,” I said, fighting the urge to yell. “He’s waking up. Go grab a nurse.”
Sam ran out the door, and I darted to Peter’s side. His eyes were definitely open, and he was looking around the room as though he were disoriented. “Peter,” I said slowly, trying to keep my tone calm and level so that I wouldn’t freak him out. “It’s me… Alan. I’m here and Sam’s here, too. You’re in the hospital, but you’re okay. Can you understand me?”
For a moment, Peter looked at me blankly, and I had another horrible thought that the coma had somehow managed to wipe his mind clean of its memories. But then a moment later, he tried infinitesimally, and I breathed a sigh of relief. At that moment, Sam walked through the door with one of the doctors and a nurse in tow.
The doctor rushed straight to Peter’s side and started to examine him as Sam and I hung back with our hearts in our throats.
“Should I call John and Talen?” Sam whispered to me.
“Not yet,” I said. “Let’s wait a little longer.”
The doctor spent a good half an hour with Peter and when he finally turned to us, he was smiling. “He’s doing really well. Looks like he’s going to make a full recovery.”
“And there aren’t any… memory losses that we know of?” I asked tentatively.
“There could be a few lapses here and there,” the doctor replied. “But it will only be temporary. He seems to be in full control of his faculties. He understands where he is and what he’s doing here. He just needs a few hours to shake off the grogginess.”
Sam got on the phone with John and Talen while I stayed with Peter. He was awake and lucid for the first few hours but he didn’t talk much. His voice was rusty from disuse and he kept reeling from the drugs that were administered to him.
By the time evening arrived, Peter was talking like normal and suddenly everything felt right in the world again. The four of us went through what had happened on the night of the carnival, we told him about his time in the hospital and all the people that had come to visit him, including his buddies from the police force.
As night drifted in, I stayed with Peter while the rest decided to go and get some dinner. He turned to and gestured for me to pull up a chair. He reminded me so much of Dad in that moment that it floored me.
“I was in a coma for a long time, huh?” Peter asked.
“About four days,” I replied.
“Were you getting nervous?” Peter smiled.
“Very.” I nodded.
“Ah,
it’ll take more than one bullet to slow me down,” Peter replied.
“Trust me, I know that.” I smiled.
“Why are you here, Alan?” Peter asked bluntly.
“What?”
“Why are you here?” he asked again. “You should be training.”
“I needed to be here,” I replied.
“No, you didn’t.” Peter shook his head. “Sam was here. Talen was here. John was here. I didn’t need a fourth guardian angel. As much as I appreciate you being here… you need to be someplace else more.”
I smiled and shook my head. “Funny… that’s exactly what Sam said you would say.”
Peter smiled, too. “Sam tries to hide his sensitivity behind silliness, but he’s probably the smartest one out of the lot of us.”
“I don’t doubt that,” I agreed.
“Sam told me that Jessica came by to visit,” Peter continued. “She brought me flowers.”
I nodded.
“How is she?”
“She’s good,” I replied a little too quickly. Then I sighed. “Actually… I don’t quite know. I haven’t spoken to her much since the night of the shooting.”
“You’ve never felt this way about a girl before… have you?” Peter asked.
“How’d you know?” I asked.
“I can see it,” Peter replied. “You’ve never brought home a girl to meet us before.”
“It was a last-minute decision.”
“Sometimes those are the best ones.” Peter smiled.
“What happened?” I asked lightly. “The coma turned you into a wise old priest or something?”
Peter laughed. “I was always a wise old priest at heart.” Then his face smoothed out, and he looked at me seriously. “Dad would have wanted you to compete, Alan. I want you to compete, too. You’ve worked so hard for this and you deserve to see it through. You deserve to win gold and you deserve a girl like Jessica on your arm.”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know what to say to her,” I said honestly.
“You will when you see her,” Peter replied.
The moment the guys got back with food for all of us, I slipped outside the hospital room and took out the note that Jessica had left for me. I opened it up and stared at the contents. There was only one single word written in the middle of the white paper. Rock.