Arms Wide Open

by Donna Jay

  With time to kill before Yvonne arrived home, she cracked open a beer and checked her Facebook feed. Shit, shit, and more shit.

  One post made her smile. She clicked on the message box intending to congratulate an ex-workmate who’d just become a proud grandma when she spotted an unread message in that pesky message request’s folder.

  Hoping like hell it wasn’t an old school friend, who wasn’t actually a friend, she clicked on the folder.

  The name she saw made her breath hitch. “Well, well, well, fancy hearing from you,” she muttered under her breath.

  After a minute of telling herself to ignore it, curiosity got the better of her. She clicked accept. Her heart leapt into her throat when the green light glowed by the senders name.

  Sadie was online. Did she know Julie had read her message?

  How many years had it been? Twenty-one, or was it twenty two?

  Swallowing down memories of stolen kisses and hot and heavy nights, Julie read the message.

  ‘Hi, will be in Feilding next week, would love to catch up.’

  Even though she’d done nothing wrong, guilt gnawed at Julie’s insides. Sucking in a breath, she tapped out a reply.

  ‘Sorry, can’t. I’m married.’

  She held her breath, waiting for Sadie’s reply.

  ‘So am I, remember? Let’s get together…the four of us. It’ll be fun.’

  No fucking way.

  ‘I don’t think so. I don’t share and, um, in case you’ve forgotten, I don’t do men.’

  ‘I haven’t forgotten, and I meant for a drink. Look, never mind.’

  Fuck! This was why Julie hated social media, no tone, everything open to interpretation, and she’d screwed up royally. Sadie had been nothing but respectful and here Julie was being an arse.

  ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions. How are you and Tim?’

  ‘Enjoying an empty nest.’

  ‘You sure this is just a social invite?’ She added ‘lol’ even though she wasn’t entirely joking. If Sadie had other ideas, she needed to quash them right away.

  ‘Why, you want to rekindle something?’

  ‘NO!’

  ‘No need to shout, I was only teasing.’ A smiley face followed.

  ‘You were good at that.’ Idiot, how do you think that sounded?

  The bang of the garage door closing made Julie’s heart leap into her throat. She closed the browser, shut her iPad, and stuffed it in the drawer under the coffee table—exactly where she should have left it.

  The last thing she needed was for Yvonne to know an ex had contacted her. As much as she wouldn’t mind catching up with Sadie and her husband, it wasn’t worth the stress it might cause at home.

  “Hey, hon.” Yvonne’s bright smile erased all thoughts of Sadie.

  “Hey, Vonn.” Julie pulled her into a hug. “You seem happy.”

  “Of course I am.” Her arms snaked around Julie. “I’m home with my two favourite people.”

  Ginger wove between their legs, seeking attention.

  Julie bent down, trying to make nice. “Hi, big boy.”

  Ignoring her, he followed Yvonne up the hallway. After giving his furry backside the finger, Julie grabbed another beer and poured a wine for Yvonne.

  With dinner simmering on low, she flopped into her favourite armchair. Within minutes, Yvonne joined her.

  Makeup free, and wearing leggings and a long-sleeved shirt, she looked gorgeous as ever. She picked her glass up and sunk into her usual spot on the sofa. “Something smells good.”

  “Irish stew. Lamb was on special.”

  A derisive snort huffed out of Yvonne. “Considering we’re a country full of sheep, lamb should be on special permanently. But, no, most people can’t afford it.”

  Rather than jump on the bandwagon—the majority of lamb was exported anyway—Julie kept her mouth shut. There was no point in rehashing an age old debate.

  “How was your day? Anything exciting happen?” Julie crossed an ankle over her knee.

  “No. Oh, wait...” Yvonne set her glass on the coffee table. “The strap on my shoe broke. Let’s go shoe shopping Saturday?”

  Unable to think of anything worse, Julie plastered on a smile. “Sounds good.”

  “What about you? Any excitement today? See anything you wish you didn’t?”

  Does a Facebook message from my ex-lover count?

  “No, boring day, just doing residential reads here in Feilding.”

  “Are you saying nothing exciting happens in friendly Feilding?” Yvonne’s face lit up.

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” And she liked it that way. The people were friendly, the town devoid of traffic lights, and the majority of visitors were farmers.

  ***

  Saturday morning, they drove the short distance to town. They could’ve walked, but the forecast was for rain. After parking, they strolled along the street, hand in hand.

  Julie pulled Yvonne to a stop. “Oh, look at that dress, isn’t it lovely?” She pointed to a mannequin wearing a red dress with white stripes spiralling around it.

  “You’d look like a candy cane, and I’d want to gobble you up.”

  “Trust you.” Yvonne hip bumped her.

  In the next instant, Julie’s blood ran cold. A familiar face inside the store was heading their way. “Come on, let’s get moving, I’m getting cold standing around.” A chill ran down her spine and it wasn’t from the nip in the air.

  “Of course it’s cold. It’s July. I told you to grab a jacket.”

  “Unlike you, I don’t normally feel the cold.” She tugged Yvonne’s hand. She didn’t budge.

  “I really like that dress. Let’s take a closer look?”

  Okay. No. Fuck.

  A shiver chilled Julie to the bone. She was screwed.

  “It’ll be warm inside.” Yvonne stepped forward and the double doors opened.

  Praying her hair would miraculously grow long enough to cover her face, Julie lowered her head.

  Concrete turned to carpet. Feet passed. Feet stopped. And then it happened.

  “Julie?” The voice was tentative, but it was one she’d never forget. Her name had rolled off it on many a passionate night.

  She let out an oomph when Yvonne nudged her in the side. Straightening, she finally met Sadie’s gaze. “Hi.”

  Sadie’s eyes lit up. “It’s good to see you.” She pulled her into a hug. The unmistakable scent of her perfume wrapped around Julie.

  Feeling awkward, she broke the embrace. “This is my wife, Yvonne.”

  “Hi.” Sadie gave her a finger wave.

  Sadie’s husband held out a hand and Julie took it. “It’s good to see you.” He turned to Yvonne. “And lovely to meet you.”

  Tim was a handsome man, with silver hair, light blue eyes, and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts.

  “How do you all know each other?” Yvonne hefted her handbag higher on her shoulder.

  “We used to…”

  Date!

  Terrified Sadie was going to dump her in it, in the middle of a boutique no less, Julie cut her off.

  “We were friends, before you and I met. They moved to Christchurch and we lost touch.”

  “Oh, too bad. That wouldn’t happen these days,” Yvonne said. “What, with social media at our fingertips.”

  A couple entered the store, forcing Tim and Sadie to take a step back. Once they were alone again, Sadie was back in Julie’s space.

  “We were just about to grab a coffee. Why don’t you two join us?” Sadie looked hopeful.

  “Sorry, can’t.”

  “Why not?” Yvonne frowned.

  “Because we’re shopping.” Julie pointed to the mannequin that now appeared to be mocking her.

  “For shoes, not dresses. And you’re right, I’d look like a candy cane in that thing.”

  Beaming, Sadie snaked her arm through Tim’s. “Great, let’s go then. My treat.”

  Plastering on a smile, Jul
ie looped arms with Yvonne, subconsciously mimicking Sadie’s actions. “Lead the way.”

  As they followed behind, Yvonne mouthed, “You okay?”

  Julie swallowed hard. “I’m fine.”

  The smell of coffee and a cacophony of chatter greeted them as they entered the cosy café.

  Once they found a table, Tim pulled out a chair for Sadie and then did the same for Yvonne. “Allow me.”

  Smiling despite herself, Julie sat as Tim pushed Yvonne’s seat in. “Still a charmer I see.”

  “Always.” He took the last seat at the cosy table for four.

  As soon as their orders were placed in front of them, Sadie took a sip of her ice tea.

  Shivering on her behalf, Julie cradled her mug, basking in the heat warming her hands. “I see you haven’t changed much. It’s winter and you’re drinking an ice-cold drink.”

  “That’s nothing.” Tim shot Sadie a devilish grin. “You wouldn’t believe the concoctions she craved when she was pregnant.”

  Even though Julie knew in her heart Tim meant no malice, it felt like a punch to the gut. Not long after Sadie announced she was pregnant, their relationship had come to an end.

  Julie found out via the newspaper they’d had a baby girl, and then she moved on with her life.

  “Hey, what’s wrong with tomato sauce on vanilla ice cream?” Sadie shot him a look.

  Having no idea what it was like to be pregnant and crave weird food combinations, Julie changed the topic. “How’s your daughter?”

  “Daughters,” Tim and Sadie said in unison.

  “How about you two?” Tim addressed Yvonne, and Sadie adored him for bringing her into the conversation. “Any children?”

  “Just the one. A boy. He’s got red hair and sheds fur all over the place.”

  A smile crinkled the corner of Tim’s eyes. “Ah, we have one of those. Except our boy is a big, grey tom.”

  Proud of Yvonne and the achievements she’d made, Julie squeezed her hand. “The construction company Yvonne works for just won the contract for the new birthing unit in Palmerston North. She’s the project manager.”

  “Impressive,” Sadie said, nodding slowly. “I wondered what the fenced-off construction site was across the road from the hospital.” Her face fell and Tim put an arm across her shoulders, pulling her close.

  They exchanged a look then turned back to Julie and Yvonne.

  “Mum’s in Palmerston North hospital having chemo. We’re staying with Dad for a few days to help out.”

  “Sorry to hear that.” Julie gave her a sad smile.

  “She’s a fighter,” Tim said with a determined nod.

  “What’s it like living in Christchurch?” Yvonne asked.

  Everyone exhaled at once, relieved for the change of topic. There was no denying it, the big C sucked.

  “We love it.” Sadie smiled at her husband.

  “I don’t think I’d be brave enough to live there after the last big earthquake,” Yvonne said.

  That was the understatement of the year. The slightest tremor had Yvonne running for cover well before Julie moved an inch.

  “Where are you working these days?” Tim asked Julie.

  “Everywhere.” She shrugged, not wanting to admit she had what most people considered a job one-step up from being a bum.

  “Sounds exciting,” Sadie said.

  “It’s not.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” Yvonne bit her lip, looking like a teenager about to burst into a fit of giggles. “She’s a meter reader.” She bumped Julie with her shoulder. “You’ve seen some interesting things on your travels, haven’t you?”

  One thing she’d never complain about was having a boring job. Recalling the day she caught two teens making out while their parents were at work brought a smile to her face. “Yeah, I have.”

  Sadie rubbed her hands together as if she could sense a scandalous story. “Oh, do tell.”

  Settling on one of the tamer incidences, Julie recalled her encounter with a Rottweiler who’d greeted her proudly, showing off his owner’s bra. The dog looked like it was smiling with the cups hanging out either side of his mouth like a dumbbell.

  Dogs were the bane of her job, but she’d known Max since he was a pup. His yard was one of the only properties with a dog roaming free that she was brave enough, or silly enough, to enter without the owner’s home.

  If there was a dog roaming free, she just entered T1 for dog, and continued on to the next address on her route.

  Chapter 8

  After what turned out to be a relaxing coffee date, where Sadie was as discreet as she’d always been, they parted ways.

  Back on the street, Yvonne pulled her jacket tighter. “What a lovely couple.”

  “They are.” There was no denying they were as in love as they’d been twenty odd years ago. The years had been good to them. Sadie didn’t look much older than the twenty-five year old Julie had known back when she was twenty-eight. Golden-blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, child-bearing hips, and a quiet confidence that inspired self-confidence in others.

  “Wanna tell me why you were reluctant to join them?”

  “I wasn’t.”

  “Don’t lie to me.”

  “Can we talk about it when we get home?” With any luck, once Yvonne had spent an hour trying on shoes the topic would be forgotten.

  “Sure. It’s too cold to stand out here bashing our gums.”

  Julie snorted. “I bet you need false teeth before me.”

  “Whatever.” Grinning, Yvonne entered the store. Her eyes lit up. She looked left and right, like a kid at a fun park not sure what direction to run in first.

  “Unless you need new slippers, too, we should head that way.” Julie pointed in the direction of a stand with heeled boots. They’d be perfect for winter and Yvonne would look hot as hell in them.

  Unbidden, images of Yvonne’s attempt to dominate her skidded through Julie’s mind. The gesture had been so unexpected and so sincere, Julie couldn’t begrudge her that things didn’t go according to plan.

  “Oh, look at those.” With that, Yvonne was off.

  Leaving her in the capable hands of a salesperson, Julie headed in the direction of sports shoes. Having a job that required her to walk anything from five to twenty-five kilometres a day, she went through footwear faster than underwear.

  After settling on a pair of walking shoes with a good arch support, she tucked the box under her arm and went in search of her wife.

  Mid-aisle, her phone chirped. Recognising Yvonne’s ringtone, she glanced at the screen. ‘Where are you?’

  Rounding the corner of the aisle, she didn’t bother tapping out a reply. “I’m here.”

  “Good.” She stood in a pair of low heeled black suede shoes with a cute bow on top. “Do you like these?”

  Julie didn’t have the heart to tell her they reminded her of her mother’s slippers. “What’s your other option?”

  “These.” Yvonne toed off the shoes and slipped on a pair of cream low heels with a strap around the ankle.

  “Definitely those.”

  “I’ll take these, please.” She handed the shoes to the sales assistant. “Want me to put these back?”

  Julie followed Yvonne’s gaze to the mountain of discarded shoes and shoeboxes.

  “No, that’s fine.” Shelly, according to her name tag, smiled brightly.

  ***

  The second they stepped inside, warmth wrapped around Julie. The aroma of pine coming from the wood box filled her senses. Upgrading the Kent fire to comply with new heating laws had been money well spent.

  She put the shoeboxes down and helped Yvonne out of her jacket.

  “I’ll throw a piece of wood on the fire then make some lunch.” Her stomach rumbled as if she needed a reminder it was time to eat.

  “I can do that.” Yvonne pulled open the pantry door. “What do you feel like?”

  “Just a sandwich.”

  “Toasted?”

&n
bsp; “Sounds good, Chef Vonn.”

  “Hey, I’ll have you know, I make a mean toasted sandwich.”

  After lunch, Julie flicked through Netflix. With the rain coming down again, it was the perfect day to cuddle up and watch a movie.

  Still in her jeans and a jersey, Yvonne snuggled up next to Julie on the couch. She inhaled the familiar scent of her honey shampoo.

  “What do you want to watch?”

  “You.” Yvonne locked eyes with Julie.

  “I’m not much to look at.” She shrugged.

  “You’re everything to look at, and I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way.”

  Shit.

  Here it comes. Julie let out a nervous chuckle. “What do you mean?”

  “Please.” She held up a hand. “Don’t do an Yvonne on me.”

  She knew what Yvonne meant. There was no point dancing around the topic. What had they agreed? No lies and that included playing dumb or lying by omission.

  “Sadie?”

  Yvonne nodded. “You were more than friends, weren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did she swap teams and dump you?”

  “Do you think I would’ve been so friendly if that was the case?”

  “No, but it would explain why you were reluctant to join her and her husband.”

  A snort huffed out of Julie. “I was always reluctant to join her and her husband.”

  The second understanding dawned, Yvonne’s eyes went wide. She opened and closed her mouth several times, before finding her voice.

  “Please don’t tell me we just had coffee with a woman you used to…to…”

  “Screw?” Julie supplied, the word earning her a glare.

  Silence descended, and Julie waited Yvonne out.

  “The married woman you told me about all those years ago?”

  “Correct.”

  “How long since you’ve seen her?”

  Relieved Yvonne hadn’t ask how long it’d been since she’d heard from her, she answered truthfully. “At least a year before I met you.”

  “So you dated?”

  “Yes and no. Look…” She took Yvonne’s hands in her own. “I don’t want to hurt you. We both have pasts and we both have exes, can we drop it?”