Arms Wide Open

by Donna Jay

  “Here’s the thing, you found her attractive, yet you turned her down and told me why.” A loving smile spread across Julie’s face, warming Yvonne from the inside out. “If I had any doubt whether we’re doing the right thing, you just erased them.” She laced her fingers with Yvonne’s. “Together forever. Forever together.”

  “I love you, Julie Wilson.”

  “And I you, Yvonne Henderson.”

  Chapter 18

  Julie stepped inside just as Yvonne tossed her cell phone across the table. She dropped her head in her hands and massaged her temples. “Fuck.”

  The word sounded so foreign coming out of Yvonne’s mouth, Julie was at her side two seconds after kicking off her gumboots.

  “Hey, what’s up?” She put a hand on her shoulder.

  “You smell like grass,” Yvonne said.

  “I just did the lawns. You smell like despair.”

  “What does despair smell like?”

  “Damned if I know,” Julie said. “But it made you smile.”

  “Yeah, it did.” Yvonne leaned her head on Julie’s shoulder. “That was Mum.”

  “Ah-huh.” She waited for more.

  “They’re having a surprise party for Nathan’s forty-fifth birthday.”

  That didn’t explain why she’d cussed. Despite the six-year age gap and Yvonne’s uptight sister-in-law, she was close to her brother. They often talked on the phone and visited when time permitted, which admittedly wasn’t often.

  “And?” Julie prompted.

  “We’ve been invited to stay at Mum and Dads.”

  “Fuck.” Julie echoed Yvonne’s sentiments.

  It was a rare day they stayed overnight at the Henderson’s. Neither of them relaxed the entire time; careful not to touch or do anything that might upset the mother-in-law.

  Julie couldn’t care less what Margaret thought of her, but if it made Julie’s life easier to be the good daughter-in-law, keeping her hands to herself for a night was a small price to pay.

  “You’re excited about the party though, right?”

  “Oh, gosh, yes.” Yvonne’s face lit up. “I can’t wait to see my little bro. The kids will be there, too.”

  James and Hannah, fifteen and nineteen respectively, were hardly kids, but Julie guessed they would always be kids in Yvonne’s eyes.

  Having no nieces or nephews of her own, she couldn’t say for sure. Her mind flicked to her mother and she smiled, pleased her mum had two siblings still alive, a sister and a brother. Even though she didn’t see her aunt and uncle often, Julie had many fond memories of time spent with her relatives.

  She tried to recall the last time she’d seen her cousins. When it hit her, a wave of sadness made her throat tight. It’d been last year; at her father’s funeral. She swallowed the lump of emotion and tuned back into Yvonne.

  “I suggested we stay at a motel, but you know what mum’s like.”

  Oh yeah, after twenty years, she knew the woman well enough. Grinning, Julie stuck her nose in the air and spoke with a plum in her mouth. “Nonsense. We have a perfectly good house with plenty of room. There’s no need to book into a motel.”

  Yvonne snorted. “Not quite, but you did a pretty good imitation.”

  “Can I have my quota of kisses before we go? Because God forbid I touch my wife in front of your mother.” Julie feigned horror.

  Chuckling, Yvonne kissed her. “They love you.”

  “As long as we don’t do anything to remind them we sleep together.”

  “No parent wants to think about their child having sex.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that. Your mother wouldn’t know where to start imagining two women making love.”

  “Unlike your mother.” Yvonne grinned.

  “You’re lucky you weren’t there when she asked me how that worked. You would’ve died with embarrassment.”

  “Did she know about you and Sadie?” Yvonne chewed her lip.

  “No.” Julie took Yvonne’s hands in hers. “And not because I was ashamed, but some things are supposed to remain private.”

  “Like if we have a threesome?”

  “Exactly.” If that ever happened.

  So far, the few people they’d talked to on the dating app hadn’t piqued their interest. Admittedly, they’d been more cautious since meeting Daphne.

  “Your old man’s fun when…” Julie stopped herself. It wasn’t the time to be insulting her mother-in-law.

  “It’s okay, you can say it.” She gave her a sad smile. “He’s different when Mum’s not around.”

  Julie didn’t insult her by saying her mother loved her in her own way, because as far as Julie saw it, Margaret’s own way wasn’t very motherly.

  “I must admit, you’re taking this better than I am,” Yvonne said, fiddling with the linen tablecloth.

  There was no point getting upset, they had to go and that was it. They might as well make the most of it.

  Julie pulled Yvonne to her feet and spun her in a circle. “You’ll be fine.”

  “I always am when I’m in your arms.” The sincerity of her words wrapped around Julie’s heart and squeezed tight.

  Their lips met and the love Julie felt for Yvonne made her heart expand in her chest.

  ***

  Nathan’s birthday rolled around, and they hit the road for the three hour trip to New Plymouth. Julie fiddled with the heat, listening to Ginger meowing in his kitty cage.

  “You know he would’ve been okay for one night, right?” Julie asked.

  “Yeah, but it’s cold, and your mum loves spoiling him for a night.” Yvonne glanced in the rearview mirror. “That’s a happy meow.”

  “Right.” Julie dragged out the word.

  He didn’t look too happy with his face pushed up against the wire cage, paw stuck out like an inmate trying to escape.

  The minute they pulled into her mum’s driveway, she appeared on the doorstep. “Where’s my boy.” She rushed over to the car.

  Ginger meowed as if to say ‘here I am.’ A blast of cool air swirled around their feet when Shirley flung the rear door open.

  “Hello, sweetie.” She flipped open the cage door and he leapt into her arms, licking her face and purring loudly.

  Yvonne narrowed her eyes. “Traitor.”

  Braving the cold, they both got out of the car.

  “Take care of my boy.” Yvonne scratched Ginger under the chin.

  “Don’t I always? Get out of here.” She shooed them away. “Have a good time, and take care on the roads.”

  As Yvonne climbed back in the car, Julie hugged her mum, squashing Ginger between them. “Love you.”

  Relief and happiness bloomed in her chest when she didn’t feel any bones. For months after her father died, her mother had wilted before her very eyes.

  She could only imagine what it was like to lose a spouse. No, she wouldn’t go there. The prospect of spending two days with her mother-in-law was depressing enough.

  With Yvonne already behind the wheel, Julie scooted around to the left-hand side of the car and jumped in the passenger’s seat.

  “Your mum looks good.” Yvonne backed down the driveway.

  “She does.” Julie grinned at the sight before her. “Big guy’s waving to you.” Well, her mother was waving his paw at them.

  “Huh?” Yvonne braked. “Naw, my baby. He’s so cute. Mumma loves you.” She blew a kiss, and Julie stopped herself from rolling her eyes.

  ***

  Ten minutes out of Wanganui, Julie pointed to Kaitoke Prison on their left. “Don’t you find it odd having a prison so close to a school?”

  “Why? A prison should be secure, shouldn’t it?”

  The thought of being locked up sent a shiver down Julie’s spine. “I couldn’t imagine spending any time there. Even to visit you.”

  “Well, that’ll never happen.”

  “Is that right, Miss-I-am-golden?”

  “It’s an institution for male offenders.”


  “I knew that,” Julie lied.

  Yvonne slowed from 100 kilometres-per-hour to 50 kilometres-per-hour as they approached Wanganui.

  “Are you okay driving or do you want me to take over?” Julie was actually enjoying sitting in the passenger seat, but it seemed only fair to offer.

  “I’m fine. We’ve been on the road for what? All of an hour.”

  “An hour forty-five.”

  “Oh, wow. Time’s flying.” She let out a derisive chuckle. “Anyone would think I’m in a hurry to get there.”

  There wasn’t anything Julie could say that hadn’t been said before, so she flicked through her playlist.

  “How about some tunes? Get you in the mood to party?” Finding the song she wanted, she hit play.

  Yvonne quirked an eyebrow. “Kenny Rogers?”

  “Shush, wait.” She held up a finger, waiting for Dolly to join in, “Islands in the stream…”

  Grinning, Yvonne sang along, “That is what we are. No one in between.”

  Caught up in the relaxed atmosphere, the next leg of the journey went by in a flash.

  A cattle truck zoomed past heading in the other direction, farm dog hanging its head through the hole in the hutch behind the front wheel.

  Instinctively, Julie held her breath. It wasn’t like the cows had a built-in toilet, and on long trips, those trucks reeked to high heaven.

  “Pooh.” Yvonne closed the vent on the dash, drawing Julie’s eye to the GPS.

  It wouldn’t be long before they drove through Hawera.

  Memories of the last time they’d visited the small town made Julie smile. “Remember when we took Mum to the Elvis Presley Museum?”

  Yvonne glanced sideways. “I can’t believe she told us she lost her virginity to your father singing ‘It’s Now or Never.’” She did her best Elvis Presley impersonation. “Kiss me my darling, you’re mine tonight.”

  “It’s kinda sweet, don’t you think?” Julie actually doubted there was much truth in her mother’s words.

  It wouldn’t be the first time she’d come up with some story just to get a reaction. Dropping the bomb while being given a tour of the museum, she’d received more than one curious look.

  “I think it’s about as sweet as her telling everyone within hearing distance that you were conceived to Elvis singing Stuck on You.”

  “If you think about it, that’s really sweet. She had a miscarriage before they got me, and for reasons unknown, Mum was never able to conceive again.”

  Yvonne squeezed her hand. “It was sweet. And I’m as stuck on you as your mum.”

  A comfortable silence settled between them. Julie tipped her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

  Chapter 19

  Shortly after eleven, Yvonne pulled to a stop outside her parents’ home. They’d moved to New Plymouth a few years ago, stating they wanted to be closer to Nathan and the kids; their only grandchildren.

  Yvonne could’ve taken the comment as a kick in the teeth, but her mother had known long before she came out that she didn’t want kids.

  Maternal feelings had never materialised. Hell, even now she didn’t like playing pass-the-baby when an excited parent handed their newborn around the room.

  In no hurry to get out of the car but desperate to pee, Yvonne stretched her legs. “How’s your bladder?” she asked Julie.

  “Fine. I didn’t drink a litre of water.”

  “Maybe you should’ve.”

  “These wrinkles are from age.” Julie pointed to the corner of her eyes. “Not from being a dried-up old prune.”

  “Unlike my mother.” Yvonne couldn’t believe she’d said the words. “Shit, that wasn’t very nice.”

  Nor was her mother at times, but that was no excuse for stooping to her level. She would always love the woman who gave her life, it was just a shame her love came with conditions.

  Although, Yvonne was guilty of the same. She loved her mother, but she would never embrace her bigotry. Just like her mother would never embrace her marriage.

  It was what it was, and Yvonne had made her peace with it, or so she told herself.

  “Come on.” Julie cracked open the door. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Taking a deep breath, Yvonne grabbed her handbag and climbed out. The air was crisp, the sky clear blue.

  Julie pointed to Mount Taranaki, looming in the distance. “Looks beautiful, doesn’t it?”

  “It does, but I’d freeze my arse off.” Just the thought of getting any closer to the snow-capped mountain made her shiver.

  Thank goodness it never snowed in Feilding.

  Julie opened the gate to the white picket fence. “After you, my lady.”

  Charmed, Yvonne stepped through. Her parents’ home was cliché picture perfect. Colourful gardens, immaculate lawns year-round, wraparound porch, unobscured view of Mount Taranaki, BMW parked in the driveway.

  The gate had barely swung shut when two teenagers came barrelling down the porch steps.

  Hannah sprinted ahead of her brother, long hair flying through the air.

  She flung her arms around Yvonne. “It’s good to see you, Aunty Yvonne.” She pulled out of her arms and hugged Julie. “You too, Aunty Julie.”

  “Don’t let Gran hear you say that.” James, who was more subdued than his outgoing sister, looked around nervously.

  “She’s half-deaf, and who cares anyway? Julie is our aunty.”

  “Whatever.” He shrugged. “Hi, Julie.” He dipped his head. “Aunty Yvonne.”

  “Hey, kid.” She pulled him into a hug. “You look more and more like your father every day.”

  Smiling, he pulled out of her arms. “I’m better looking than him.”

  “Pfft.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “Dream on.”

  “Well don’t stand out there and catch a chill.” Yvonne turned in the direction of the voice. Her dad stood with a hand resting on the porch rail. “Come give your old man a hug.”

  Joy lit up Yvonne’s insides. She smiled at Julie and rushed to do her dad’s bidding. He pulled her into a fierce embrace. The scent of his deodorant transported her back to when she was a little girl, sitting in his lap while he read to her.

  “Good to see you.”

  He eyed her up and down. “You look good, girl. I see Julie’s feeding you well.”

  If it was anyone else she would’ve been offended. But her father had never criticised her for her weight, and God knew it had fluctuated over the years.

  Then there was her mother who was quick to point out her shortfalls. ‘You’re not wearing that are you? You’re too short, put some heels on. It makes you look fat. Why are you going out without makeup?’ And on it went.

  Regardless of what her mother said, she never lacked female attention and the secret thrill of that had always buoyed her.

  They stepped inside and were greeted by the familiar aroma of furniture polish.

  Her gaze landed on a family portrait hanging on the wall. It had been taken thirty years ago, at her twenty-first birthday. It was one of the only photos they had with them all smiling.

  The photographer who had captured the moment, all four huddled together, laughing, was worth his weight in gold.

  To the outside world, they looked like the quintessential happy family. That was before Yvonne came out. Something she didn’t do until she was twenty-two.

  “Where’s Mum?” Yvonne glanced around as if she would miraculously appear.

  Hannah called from the top of the hall. “In here, icing the cake.”

  Decorations and bags of unpacked groceries were strewn across the kitchen bench. The aroma of chocolate filled the kitchen, and six tall back chairs were pushed in at the table.

  Her mum glanced up, piping bag in hand. “Hello, dear.” She tipped her head. “Julie.”

  “Hi, Mrs Henderson. Thank you for having us.”

  The formality between them was laughable. It was also something Yvonne had grown used to. Hannah and James looked at her as if t
o say, ‘what the hell is that about?’ Which made her smile.

  Hannah stuck her finger in the icing bowl and received a smack across the wrist from her grandmother in return. Grinning, she licked the green frosting off her finger.

  Yvonne’s mum wiped her hands on her apron and stuck a toothpick with a flag into the cake. Ah, she could see it now, a golf course. Nathan had never been keen on exercise until he found golf. Now, it was a rare weekend that he didn’t play a round or two.

  “Ha-ha, Carl’s such an egg,” James chuckled, eyes glued to his phone.

  “I better not see you doing that tonight.” His grandmother shot him a stern look.

  “Never, Gran,” he replied without taking his eyes off the screen.

  “Can we help with anything?” Yvonne asked.

  “You girls can start on the sandwiches. The savouries can be heated once we get to Nathan and Sandra’s.”

  “I’ll help Grandad with lunch.” Hannah pushed off the dining room wall.

  “Well, now, we’re not all going to fit in the kitchen, are we?”

  The kitchen was huge. A bench spanned the length of one wall, sink smack bang in the middle, and opposite it was a large granite kitchen island. There was plenty of room for everyone.

  “Don’t worry, Gran.” She pecked her on the cheek. “Pops and I have got lunch sorted.” Hannah held out a hand to her grandfather.

  Looking like he’d pulled the wool over his wife’s eyes, he slapped his car keys into Hannah’s outstretched palm.

  “KFC or Mackers?” Hannah looked at Yvonne with a shit-eating grin.

  Her mother intervened. “You are not buying takeout, we’ve got enough food to feed an army. And you, Harold, are supposed to be watching your cholesterol.”

  Her dad just smiled. “My son’s turning forty-five. I’m celebrating.”

  “Yeah, Gran, let him live a little,” James said.

  Her mother threw up her hands. “Fine…get. You’re in the way.”

  Grinning, Hannah looped her arm through her grandfathers. “Come on, Pops, let’s go.”

  “I’m coming.” James sprinted after them.

  “Hey, wait up," Yvonne called out. "Let me give you some money.” She flipped open her wallet and found nothing but plastic. “Shit, I forgot to withdraw some cash, you got any?”