Those You Trust: compelling women's psychological fiction

by Bernie Steadman

  As soon as I lugged the boxes into the living room and plonked them on the floor, something felt wrong. I had left the kitchen door open when I left that morning. I was sure I had. Then I smelt smoke. Cigarette smoke. Oh God, had Leo been in my house? I froze and listened hard. Nothing, but the smoke smell was strong. Perhaps he’d gone when he realised I wasn’t there. But what if he was on the other side of the door? Instead of listening to my gut, which was telling me to run and call the police, something else took hold. How bloody dare he? I slammed open the kitchen door and there he was, calmly sitting at the table, blowing smoke straight at me.

  I could only focus on the broken lock on my back door. ‘You broke into my house! What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ I pulled the door back and examined the lock. The wood was ruined. I swung back to face him, absolutely boiling. ‘How dare you break into my house? I thought I’d made my feelings perfectly clear on the phone.’ I held the door open wider. ‘Get out. Go back the way you came, sneaking in through the back door. You lied to me and hurt Nikos.’ He didn’t move. ‘Go on, go.’ When he still didn’t move I looked down at the floor. I shouldn’t have said what I said next, but I did, it was like bile that had to be spat out. ‘You’re disgusting. I don’t want to see you anymore.’

  Leo leaned forward on the kitchen chair, hands on his knees. I wished I’d been looking more closely at his face. I had no idea how angry he was. He leapt up and grabbed me round my throat, squeezing my neck until I couldn’t breathe. I felt my body go slack as lack of oxygen hit my brain. I’d die if he didn’t stop. I kicked back against his shin as hard as I could.

  Something must have got through his rage, because he loosened his grip until I was panting to get my breath. He shoved me back against the cupboard and was so close in my face I could smell his foul breath.

  ‘You don’t get to speak to me like that,’ he hissed. ‘Who are you anyway?’

  He squeezed my neck again and I felt the panic rise.

  ‘A nobody kid of a nobody father. You’re nothing.’

  I tried to speak but he wouldn’t release the hand under my chin even a millimetre. I held onto his arm with both hands and tried to drag it off but I couldn’t shift his grip. I tried desperately not to cry but the tears slid out towards the edges of my eyes anyway. I had to think, not collapse.

  ‘No, sweet cousin. You and I are going to have a nice sit down at the table and talk about our uncle and what we do next.’

  Abruptly, he pulled away and shoved me toward the table. I sank down onto a chair, trying to think a bit more clearly now that I could breathe again. I put my head onto my folded arms and breathed deeply. It would be a while until Alex came, so there was no point expecting rescue. My phone was in my bag in the living room. I couldn’t fight Leo, he was strong and there was a cruelty to him I had never suspected. He slid in opposite me, hands on the table, loose and ready to react if I tried to run. My options were few.

  I raised my head and indicated the tap and he let me get up and pour a glass of water which I drank standing up. I took in some more deep breaths and steadied my racing heart. I leaned back against the sink, it gave me the tiny advantage that I was standing and he was sitting. ‘Leo, can we just talk?’ I said. Croaked really. ‘You’ve hurt me, and you didn’t have to do that. I thought you were going to see your top lawyer to take your claim through the courts?’ I coughed and drank more water. My voice was an octave deeper. I hoped it wasn’t permanent.

  ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you,’ he said, hands working on each other. ‘You just don’t get to talk to me like… like I’m some sort of idiot.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I was angry because you broke my door down.’ I was trying to be calm, but I was so annoyed I blurted out, ‘Why didn’t you wait on the bench until I came home? Then we could have talked over a glass of wine, rather than this mess. You almost killed me.’

  Leo banged both fists hard on the table, signalling frustration like a child would. ‘Stop talking. Sign the business over to me, Anna. Just do it and all this will go away and you can go back to your small, pathetic life. You couldn’t run that business anyway, could you? Admit it. It’s mine, my father promised me.’

  I was scared again, but I daren’t agree with him, even to get him out of my house. If I gave him any sign that I might give the business to him, he’d never leave me alone. ‘It’s all new to me,’ I said slowly, ‘but I’m going to learn about it, and in a few years, maybe I will be able to…’ Wrong thing to say. His face turned purple. I had to get out. He really would kill me.

  He was up on his feet and blocking me before I could move. ‘No, that’s not good enough. Say I can have it now and this will go away. If not…’ He shook me hard, rattling my teeth against each other. ‘Don’t you get it? You can’t say no.’

  He made a grab for my throat again but I ducked down and he caught my hair in both hands. I screamed and pulled away, feeling chunks of hair coming away in his fists. I screamed again, beating him off with my hands.

  ‘No, no!’ I yelled, squirming in his grasp.

  There was a sudden banging at the front door, and Alex’s voice shouting, ‘Anna? Are you okay?’

  I screamed louder and twisted in Leo’s grip so I faced the back door. If only I could…

  Leo let go of my hair and grabbed me round the waist as I made a dash for the back door. I wriggled and fought and scratched at his hands but he held on, snarling.

  I’d managed to drag us both outside when he tripped my back foot and sent me sprawling onto the path. The last thing I remember was him delivering a kick to the back of my head and another kick to my side.

  I must have blacked out for a few minutes, because when I opened my eyes, Alex was holding me. I was still on the path, lying on my side.

  Alex rolled me over gently. ‘Anna? Please open your eyes. Please.’

  I managed to get one eye open, although all I needed was to go to sleep, and smiled at him. ‘Hello,’ I said, usefully.

  ‘Thank God you’re conscious. Can you move?’

  Good question. Could I? I turned slowly, very slowly onto my front, then got onto all fours. I had the most appalling pain in the back of my head, and my ribs hurt. ‘I think so,’ I whispered and let him help me up and half carry me back into the house.

  He settled me onto a chair in the kitchen, and closed the back door, wedging it shut with another chair. I was dreading him turning the lights on, because if I looked the way I felt, he was in for a shock. ‘Has he gone?’ I muttered.

  ‘Leo? I saw him running down the street as I came round to the back of the house. Yes, he has gone. Oh God, Anna, look at you.’ Carefully, he examined the back of my head, on which a lump was growing.

  ‘I hope he broke his foot,’ I croaked.

  He came back to the front and tilted my head to each side. ‘And your neck will be bruised, too. The bastard, how dare he do this to you? He could have killed you, Anna.’

  I rolled up my T-shirt and looked at my left ribs. ‘Yes, I know. This was his parting shot.’ It was turning blue already.

  Alex knelt on the floor in front of me and held my hands. ‘Why did he do this?’

  I asked myself the question. ‘Frustration? Nikos made me his heir, Leo wants me to sign over the business to him. At any cost. Especially to me, apparently. I’m an easier target than Nikos. Simple as that, I think. He thought he could bully me into signing it over. I don’t think he was actually trying to kill me.’ I touched my neck carefully. The bruises told a different story.

  ‘That wasn’t bullying. It was attempted murder. Right, I’m calling the police. There is no way he can get away with this. I’ll get a doctor, too. You may have concussion,’ he said.

  ‘No, I think I’ll be…’ I dropped my head on my arms on the table and was asleep in seconds, only for Alex to wake me up. Swine.

  ‘No, you must stay awake until the doctor gets here.’

  Alex busied himself making a pot of mountain tea while we waited, but I could
tell, because he kept waking me up with such concern in his eyes, that he was angry. And that was fair enough, because I was angry too. Or I would be once I’d had a good sleep.

  The local police officer ambled in and took a statement a short while later. He must have been expecting a burglary or something minor. As soon as I mentioned the Kokorakis link, he smartened up, and was much more alert when I told him what had happened. He took pictures of my injuries, and put a message out on his radio for Leo to be arrested on sight. I knew Leo’s car make, but not the registration number, and gave the officer Leo’s hotel address. I hoped they would find him quickly. I didn’t feel safe with him out and about. What if he came back?

  The doctor arrived a few minutes later. She agreed that I had mild concussion, bruised but not broken ribs, and a bruised larynx, all of which should heal with time. She gave me painkillers, and nodded with approval at the mug of mountain tea. ‘She can stay at home, but you will be with her?’ she asked Alex, who nodded, thank goodness.

  Alex came back into the kitchen after filling the police officer in on the rest of the story while I was being treated by the doctor. Alex told the officer to contact Nikos, because he too might be in danger, although he could have saved his breath; that was the first thing the officer would do, I expected. Once he had assured the doctor and the police officer that I would be well looked after, we were left alone.

  ‘Bath and bed for you, my darling,’ he said, and walked me through to the bottom of the stairs, and, hands on my butt, guided me gently up the stairs so I didn’t fall backwards. I would have laughed if I’d had the energy.

  I perched on the edge of the bed while Alex ran a shallow bath, and he stayed with me so I didn’t fall asleep while I was in it. He couldn’t hide the distress on his face when he saw the extent of the bruising. ‘Don’t worry,’ I said, ‘it will heal. I’m just relieved that you came when you did. I’m okay.’ I hoped.

  I remembered little else of that night.

  24

  The sunlight warmed my face and played across my eyes. I had been dreaming, something about a doll I’d had when I was a child, when I heard soft chat and realised I wasn’t alone. It was a struggle to open my eyes. First there was pain, and fear, and then the whole horrible night flooded back in and I woke up properly.

  On one side of the bed sat Delphine, and on the other was Alex. I hadn’t realised my breathing had become ragged until I took in a proper breath and let it out again. I was safe.

  ‘How are you, you poor girl?’ asked Delphine, eyes full of concern.

  I dragged myself up onto the pillow and let Alex prop me up. I did an inventory. ‘I’m not too bad,’ I said, ‘the head is pounding but I can talk. Even if I do have a sexy croak.’ Alex passed me water and I drank. ‘That’s better. I must have slept really late. Is it afternoon already?’

  He laughed. ‘It is, late afternoon. Welcome back.’

  ‘I did need to sleep, once you let me do so.’ Then all conversation was halted by my need to empty a very full bladder. I insisted on getting out of bed on my own and going to the bathroom, and then wished for soundproofing, as the human bladder is a very stretchy thing. I’d slept for over sixteen hours.

  Shakily, I stood and faced myself in the mirror. The bump on my head was showing through my hair at the back and pulsing quietly, and I had two very interesting bald patches at the temples. Both sides of my neck were bruised, with a clear thumb mark on one side and finger marks on the other. How on earth could I disguise that mess? Carefully, I lifted up my nightdress and looked at the bruising on my left side, which was coming up beautifully into a rainbow of pain. It was sore to the touch, but low on the ribs and my breathing felt fine. So that was that. Inventory done. I started a bath running and wobbled back into the bedroom.

  ‘Have the police caught him?’ I asked, falling back onto the bed. I felt weak, and not completely in the room. Part of me wanted to go back to the dream I’d been having, where I was a child and didn’t need to know about men beating women up to get what they wanted.

  ‘No,’ said Alex, ‘but they are convinced he isn’t on the island anymore. They found the car, and he had already checked out of the hotel. They are looking at airports and ferries. They’re doing a good job.’

  ‘I’ll bet they’re not. Not for a foreigner. I’m last on their list.’

  He pulled a cover over me, but I was hot and threw it back. ‘No, don’t,’ I said, tetchily.

  Delphine, who had observed my mood, asked Alex to fix me the soup she had brought. ‘One of Eleni’s best,’ she said, and Alex went downstairs to do that. I realised I was starving.

  ‘Right,’ she said. ‘I know you must be feeling strange and confused, but you are not to take it out on Alex, who has looked after you since this happened. Your anger should be directed at Leo, who has behaved abominably, and not at the people who love you.’

  Tears came quickly. ‘I’m sorry,’ I mumbled. ‘I’m not angry with Alex, or you.’

  ‘I know.’ She took my hand. ‘Have soup, have a bath, and get up. You need to be on your feet to get better. Go and sit in your garden, get the sun on your face. Tomorrow I will get my hairdresser to come and sort out your hair and bring makeup for your poor neck. After all, you have to go home and see your parents, and I hope, bring them back with you. Don’t you?’

  I pushed myself up. ‘Yes, of course. I should already have gone home. Dad’s ill and I’m still here.’ I was tearful again. ‘Why did he have to hurt me, Delphine?’

  She leaned over me and held me in her arms while I had a little weep. ‘I checked up on Leo, now that we know his real name is Leontes Kokorakis. His wife is divorcing him for physical and emotional abuse. He hurt you because he could. It’s how he treats women. If you are angry, be angry at him. He will get what he deserves.’ She called him a name in Greek that had not entered my limited lexicon of swear words, but I thought I might remember it.

  I wiped my eyes with my hands. ‘Thank you, Delphine.’

  ‘You’re welcome.’ She disappeared into the bathroom, adding bubbles I suspected, and some of the local bath salts to ease muscle pain. I’d bought them for post-gardening fatigue, little knowing I’d need them for this.

  Alex came back with soup and bread on a tray. He placed it on my lap and stood back. I reached out to take his hand. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.’

  He grinned. ‘I think you British have a saying, yes? To know somebody warts and all? If this is your worst wart, then all is good.’ He kissed me on the top of my head.

  I tried not to eat the soup too quickly, but it was Eleni’s and so good. So was the bath, and getting into clean clothes, and sitting out in the garden as I had been told. I’d turned into a bloody invalid.

  Delphine went home, promising to see me soon, and Alex sprawled out beside me on the bench, lifting his face to the sun.

  I felt weepy again, which definitely wasn’t me. Must be delayed shock, said my rational brain. The rest of me said it was because nobody had ever hurt me physically before. I’d never had these sorts of injuries, and it hurt everything. My sense of who I was and what my life was like, and it made me horrified on behalf of women who suffered like this all the time. I harboured a tiny worm of fear about Alex, too. Clearly I was the sort of woman who picked abusers. Will had bullied me relentlessly for years, and Leo thought it was fine to beat me. What if Alex was the same? What if I attracted abusers? What if I had brought all this on myself?

  ‘Tell me what you’re thinking,’ said Alex, twisting slightly so he could look at me.

  I shook my head. ‘Nothing really, I was just drifting off,’ I said, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.

  He laughed and picked up my hand, which was clenched so tightly I’d made nail marks in my palm. He unfurled my hand and kissed it. Then he read my mind.

  ‘I will never hurt you, Anna. I have never hit or abused anybody in my whole life. I have always been the geeky, skinny kid in the corner. I love computers, I lov
e boats and now I love you. I am a simple man. If you can give me your love, I will love you back and we can have a nice time together and see what the future brings. Simple. Okay?’

  Would I ever stop crying? ‘Yes. Yes that would be wonderful. That’s what I want too. Thank you.’

  I could feel his eyes still on me. ‘You know, you should not be too hard on yourself,’ he said. ‘I don’t know anyone who could have been through the last two days and not be upset. It was frightening and dangerous.’ He squeezed my hand. ‘What kind of a person would you be if you could just laugh it off, hey?’

  ‘Braver, that’s what I would be. But I guess I’m like you. I want a quiet, happy life.’

  ‘Then let’s try to do that.’

  He leaned across and kissed me so tenderly on the lips I nearly went off weeping again. Time to focus and get some advice. ‘I want to tell Nikos that I don’t want to run his businesses, Alex. I’ll sell it all once I inherit it anyway. I can’t work out what to say though. How not to insult him, or sound ungrateful. But he needs to know, I can’t just pretend I’m going to take the business over, can I?’

  He folded his arms across his chest and looked up into the old fig tree. ‘I wondered what you planned on doing with the fortune you will inherit. I can’t see you running a building company, it’s true.’

  ‘So how do I say that to Nikos?’

  He slid an arm around the back of my neck and drew me to him. ‘You will know what to say when you speak to him. You have the ability to see people clearly, Anna. Trust in yourself to do the right thing.’

  I welled up again. ‘I don’t though. Look how rubbish I was at seeing through Leo.’

  This time, I was saved by Aunt Irini, who happened to be passing by the back gate at exactly the right time to catch us in the garden.

  ‘Anna,’ she said, dashing up the path and plonking a kiss on my cheek. ‘Are you all right? This nice young man has been telling me all that happened. He is taking good care of you? I have brought you honey cakes. Here,’ she said and pulled a small paper bag out of her large one, dropping it into my lap. ‘And, if it is all right, I have made lamb stew and have too much for myself. Could I bring you some for your meal? It would please me to do this for you. Oh God above,’ she said, noticing my bruises, ‘what did that monster do to you? I was having dinner with my son last night and knew nothing. If I had been here…’ She spat on the ground and uttered a curse that made no sense in translation but had something to do with goats and blood.