by Abbi Cook
I slide my hand around to the back of her head and pull her mouth to me in kiss meant to put all her doubts to rest. I tease her with my tongue as a preview of what I want to do to her a few feet lower, and when she sighs into my mouth, I know I’m succeeding in making her forget everything but how good it feels to be together.
“Why can’t I stop thinking of you?” she asks and then begins to unbutton my shirt.
In her ear, I repeat the truth that lays between us and always has. “I’m inside you like you’re inside me, little bird. You can’t stay away any more than I can. You have no idea how hard it’s been these past few days.”
She tugs my shirt out of my pants with one hand as she runs her other hand through my hair. My little bird is not that innocent thing she was just a few weeks ago.
“I do know how hard it was. I wanted to see you, but I forced myself not to. I felt like a part of me was missing the whole time. How can that be, Alexei?”
“I’m inside you, Natalie. In your blood, under your skin, just like you are with me,” I say, punctuating it all with a moan when she reaches into my pants and palms my hard cock.
She strokes me base to tip and then back again, all the while staring up at me with those beautiful blue eyes I still see hints of innocence in. I want to take every ounce of it from her and feed on it, like some ravenous beast.
“You take up all the space in my mind,” I groan, tilting my hips so my cock slides through her far too gentle grip.
“I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m with you, Alexei. You frighten me, but I keep coming back. What’s wrong with me?”
Raising her dress, I peel off her panties and toss them onto the floor. I drag a single finger through her wet pussy and smile. “There’s nothing wrong with you, little bird. You’re perfect.”
Eager to be inside her, I lift her up by her waist and push her down on my cock, unwilling to wait anymore. A second later, I’m buried balls deep in that perfect cunt of hers.
Natalie clings to my neck and moans when I begin thrusting, fucking her like I’ve wanted to for days. She wet and tight and I swear to God I’m in heaven. She’s like a goddamned drug, and every time I get a dose of her, I’m lost.
“Oh God, Alexei…I missed you.”
Her words come out like a sob. Is she sad to have to make that confession, or is she already wishing she didn’t have to be without me when we leave here?
It doesn’t matter. Someday soon, she’ll come to me and be mine completely.
By the time we finish, I’m not sure I can wait for that time. I want her in my life and in my bed, not for a night but forever.
“I don’t want to go, Alexei,” she whispers against my skin.
When I lift my head to look at her, she frowns because she knows it’s her choice to leave. For now, I won’t say what’s on my mind.
“I have something for you, little bird. Use it whenever you want. What’s mine is yours,” I whisper against her lips.
“What do you mean?”
Gently, I set her on her feet and reach into my pocket to pull out a silver key. “This is for this apartment. If you won’t come to me at my home but you want to leave, use it.”
She takes it out of my hold and closes her hand around it. “Thank you, Alexei.”
I force a smile, but she has no idea how much I’m already missing her.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Natalie
The weekend brings the yearly Avalon Golf Tournament, something Adam always enjoys and which I tolerate because it means hours in the clubhouse waiting for him to get back from golfing. It does give me a chance to socialize, but unlike previous years, this time I don't feel much like sitting around all day chatting with the wives of the other golfers.
Between my marriage in shambles, a growing question if I should go with Alexei, and still no word about Lauren, the last thing I want to do is pretend I’m that same woman I used to be. That woman is gone. Not dead yet, even though my husband wishes that, but that old Natalie doesn’t exist anymore.
Looking into my vanity mirror, I watch my husband dress for the tournament. "Adam, I was thinking of skipping everything today."
He stops brushing a piece of lint off his blue shirt and slowly turns to look at me. I quickly scan his expression to find he doesn't look angry as much as thoughtful, like he's considering my suggestion.
"Are you feeling under the weather?"
I hesitate to tell him yes, hating that I have to lie to get out of social events. What does it matter if I'm there or not? The members of the club probably know all about how he’s been sleeping with another woman. It's not like I'm necessary so he can participate in the tournament. I'm not his caddie.
I'm just his wife.
"A little."
He thinks about it for a few more seconds and then scowls. “There’s no reason for things to be difficult between us like this, Natalie. You have a responsibility to be there as my wife.”
I don’t want to have this discussion, but since he couldn’t just let things, as he likes to call them, stay pleasant, we’ll have it. He won’t like what he hears, though.
Staring at him in the mirror, I struggle to keep my expression placid as a million ideas about my wifely responsibilities run through my mind. “And what is your responsibility as my husband? Would one of them be not to humiliate me in front of a group of people you expect me to impress?”
The sharpness of my words and the tone I use surprises him, and he takes a step back like I’ve just slapped him across the face. “I’m not sure what you’re referring to, Natalie, but I’ve never humiliated you. I am the same respectable man I’ve always been, someone you should be proud to be seen on the arm of.”
Like some accessory that can be easily changed out as the seasons pass.
“Why don’t you just take your girlfriend?” I say, and when the words come out strong, I’m so proud of myself.
Once more, Adam looks like I’ve just hit him across the face, but he quickly rebounds. “I don’t know what you mean, Natalie. As long as you're at dinner, I don't see a problem with you missing the rest of the day."
With that, he turns back to focusing on his shirt. Obviously, he doesn’t want to have this conversation now.
"The dinner is scheduled for five this afternoon at the clubhouse. I'll see you there," he says a moment later as he walks out of the bedroom.
I focus on my reflection in the mirror and smile. Not bad for a first attempt at exerting my independence. He didn’t admit anything, but now he knows I’m not as blind as he thought I was.
Fear races through me in the next second, though. Before he knew I’d found out about his affair, he wanted to kill me. What will he do now?
I have something on my side he doesn’t know about, though. I have Alexei.
The not-so-cleverly named Nineteenth Hole clubhouse at the Avalon Country Club is decorated in its usual style for the big golf tournament. The committee chooses the same look each year. Too much green everywhere on top of the green painted walls that always exist in the clubhouse. Looking around, I see the usual deep green tablecloths, green and gold centerpieces of fake greenery with little gold golf clubs sticking out of the middle of the leaves, and green balloons.
Just in case anyone attending doesn't know what they've walked into, there's a big banner that runs the length of the room that says WELCOME GOLFERS TO THE AVALON GOLF TOURNAMENT in green lettering, of course.
I see Pilar from across the room and make my way over toward her, smiling and excusing myself as I weave through the crowd. She's beaming a smile and waves at me with far more enthusiasm than I have for the night's event.
"Natalie! I was wondering if you'd make it tonight. You didn't miss a thing all day, so don't worry. Just the usual stuff. Boring actually," she says as she draws me in for one of her hugs.
"You look wonderful," I say as she releases me.
She really does. The sleeveless navy blue dress she's wearing makes her tan look
even deeper. She's practically glowing.
Faking modesty, she waves my compliment away, but her smile grows exponentially until it practically wraps around to the back of her head. "Thank you. You're so sweet."
I give her a polite smile but say nothing more. Pilar is very nice, but I don't feel like being on display tonight. I'd much rather be home alone.
Quickly, I scan the room to find Adam but don’t see him. Pilar leans in toward me and whispers, "Can I tell you a secret?"
What she usually means by that is can I tell you some juicy gossip about someone nearby, which requires us to whisper so they can't hear us talking about them. I've never told her no, although I often wonder why I don't while I'm listening to her. I don't tonight either, mainly because it would likely cause a scene, and that's the last thing I want.
"Sure. What's up?" I ask, feigning interest as I force a smile.
She looks right and then left to make sure no one can hear what she's about to say and then tells me her secret. "Justin and I are expecting. We just found out last week."
Pilar leans back away from me and beams another wide smile. The last time she told me she was going to have a baby—her third—I barely found the strength to wish her well and congratulate her I was so jealous. She already had two children, and now she'd been blessed with a third baby when I couldn't even have one?
Tonight, though, I don't feel an ounce of jealousy at her news that she and her husband are expecting their fourth child. The absence of that emotion strikes me as she wraps her arms around my shoulders for another hug. Nothing. All I feel is the happiness a person would for another person's good news.
“That’s wonderful! No wonder you look so incredible. Congratulations!”
She beams a genuine smile that lights up her entire face. “I’m so happy, Natalie. I’ve always wanted a big family.”
“Well, whatever you’re doing, it’s working,” I say with a giggle.
I have something to ask her, but now that I’m here, I don’t know if I can go through with it. She and I aren’t close, and even though she’s often bragged about the exciting sex life she and her husband share, I’ve never once said a word about sex at all to her.
Today, I want to, though.
Tilting my head toward the hallway, I say, “Let’s go out for a little fresh air. It’s got to be pretty stuffy in here for you with all these cigar smokers, and now that you’re expecting, you don’t need that around you.”
We walk out as she talks about some woman who appeared earlier in the day in some utterly inappropriate outfit, but all I can think of is what I want to ask her. I don’t have any true friends, and as much as I love Claire, I don’t know how I’d broach the subject with her that I need to with Pilar today.
Outside, we walk under the portico and see people leaving their cars with the valet service, but I can’t risk having anyone nearby when we talk, so I keep walking until we reach a seat along the pathway about a hundred yards away from the building.
That should be far enough away for the privacy I need.
“Let’s sit for a minute,” I suggest, and Pilar eagerly takes me up on the offer to rest her feet that she’s crammed into four inch heels like usual.
“I’d hoped this time I wouldn’t swell up, but by the way my ankles look already, I’m worried this pregnancy will be even worse than last time,” she says with a chuckle.
“You shouldn’t worry, Pilar. Pregnancy is the one time you can give yourself a break.”
A dark look comes over her, and she grabs my hand. “I’m sorry. I’ve been insensitive about this. I know you and Adam have been trying for a long time, and here I am basically Mother Nature’s baby making machine.”
For the first time, I don’t have to lie to her about this subject. “It’s okay. I actually wanted to ask you a question, to be honest, but I feel so awkward about it that I’m thinking I shouldn’t.”
“No! Ask away. I’m an open book for you.”
I look around to make sure no one is close enough to hear what I have to say before I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was wondering if you could tell me how you learned to…”
The eager look on Pilar’s face makes me chicken out, and I shake my head. “I can’t. I don’t even know how to say it.”
“Please, Natalie. Ask me. If I can give you an answer, you know I will.”
I look around yet again and then swallow hard, hoping to push down my fear and embarrassment. “How did you…I mean, what did you do to learn to…please your husband? I mean…orally?”
The words come out like I’m speaking a foreign language, all choppy and halting, and instantly my cheeks heat up from a blush I know has made my face beet red. God, how humiliating! What kind of woman doesn’t know how to go down on a man?
Sadly, me.
For a long moment, it feels like the world just freezes. Pilar’s eyes grow wide, and then all I can hear is my heartbeat in my ears as I wait for her to give me her answer. To say something. Anything.
When she smiles and grabs my hand, I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. “Oh, honey. I know just what you mean. It’s way easier than you think. Don’t let yourself get hung up on thinking you have to do it like porn stars do. Men really don’t require that much, to be honest. They just love the feel of a woman’s mouth on them.”
I hang my head and confess another pathetic truth. “I’ve never watched any porn, Pilar.”
She gives my hand a supportive squeeze. “Then here’s what you have to do. First, watch some, but if you’re having a hard time with that, no pun intended, remember this. Use your hand to stroke him, and then take as much as you can into your mouth. That’s it. Oh, and don’t let your teeth scrape him. Justin hates that. Some men like it, so maybe Adam’s into teeth, but I say assume he isn’t and go from there.”
I don’t give a damn what Adam likes or doesn’t like. He lost his chance to have me make that kind of effort when he cheated on me. No, I want this information for someone else far more deserving.
My cheeks feel like they’re burning up as the thought of taking Alexei into my mouth excites me, but I give her a shy smile and nod, thankful for her help. “Please don’t tell anyone I asked you that, Pilar. I’d die of embarrassment.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” she assures me and gives my hand another supportive squeeze. “Don’t worry, though. You’d be shocked if I told you some of the stories I’ve heard about the people at the club here. A simple question about blowjobs is nothing compared to what these people are up to.”
She stands up and stretches her arms behind her. “We better go in. I bet the boys are already in there waiting for us.”
I give her a forced smile, hating the idea that I’ll have to spend any time pretending to be Adam Anchoff’s perfect little wife. What I really want to do is run away from this place, and I know where I’d go.
As we walk back to the Nineteenth Hole, Pilar returns to talking about that poor woman from earlier today and her outfit that clearly caused quite a stir, but I nearly stop dead when we walk into the building and I see Alexei standing in the hallway speaking to some man I’ve never met. I force myself to keep calm and give Pilar’s arm a gentle tug.
“I think I need to use the ladies’ room. Will you make sure to tell my husband I’ll be right in if you see him?”
“Oh, sure. I need to get a club soda. No drinking for me for a while. Would you like me to get you a white wine like you usually drink?” she stops to ask.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alexei slowly begin to make his way toward me. Oh, my God! Is he planning to speak to me here at the country club with Adam right in the next room?
I can barely get my head to nod my answer to Pilar, but words are impossible to form as fear grips me like a vice. He can’t do this.
She disappears into a crowd of people heading in, and I hurry in the opposite direction, bypassing the ladies’ room to rush outside again. This can’t h
appen. Why is Alexei here? He had to think I’d be here with Adam today.
My feet move so fast I nearly trip over them as I race down the pathway past where Pilar and I just spent the last few minutes. I don’t know where to go to escape what will be a trainwreck with me in the middle of two locomotives.
I’m trapped.
“Little bird, I don’t know where you’re going, but you’re going to fall if you don’t slow down,” Alexei says in a low voice behind me.
He’s close enough that if I turn around, I’ll run into him. I swivel my head left and right to see if anyone is out here with us. God, why is he doing this?
I feel his hands slide around my waist, and I spin around to face him. “What are you doing here?”
A sexy smile lights up his dark eyes and makes me wish we were alone so I could feel his lips on mine. “I had a feeling you’d be here.”
“He’s going to kill me himself if he sees me with you,” I say in a voice barely above a whisper, my eyes scanning the area around us for any sign of someone nearby.
Alexei’s fingers trail along my jaw before his thumb slides under my lower lip. My eyelids flutter closed as need courses through me. I can’t do this here. I’m not a good enough liar.
“No, he won’t. My man watches your house every minute of the day. He’s got orders to act if he sees you in any danger, so you don’t have to worry.”
I open my eyes and look up at him. “What I’m worried about is my husband is going to know something’s going on.”
Leaning down, Alexei presses a soft kiss on my cheek and whispers, “Actually, he probably is going to think I’m here to do the job he paid me for.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better, Alexei.”
“Then maybe this will. You’ve never been safer, Natalie. I protect the ones I love. But the offer still stands for you to come live with me. We can leave this place right now and I promise you’ll never regret that choice.”