Sideshow Alley

by KJ Sheerin

‘Or maybe after the next rotation, I’ll leave it up to you to decide—besides, it’s getting late.’ Kyla looked at the time before gathering the plates together and depositing them at the wash point on their way out.

  The actual harvest didn’t take long. Colin waited on a seat while Kyla was led into a room and her eggs harvested, then it was his turn. He was given a jar and directed to another room. Luckily Kyla emerged to accompany him, much to the tut-tutting of the medical staff there. When finished, Colin presented them with his DNA and then waited with Kyla while the eggs were fertilised and examined under the microscope.

  Finally the doctor gave them the thumbs up.

  ‘Have you given any thought to how many offspring you would like?’ he asked.

  Colin looked at Kyla and said, ‘Two, three…?’

  ‘Three,’ Kyla confirmed, and the doctor nodded.

  ‘What about their sex, any preference?’

  The alpha couple looked at each other and shook their heads.

  ‘Then it is done,’ he announced, ‘was there anything else?’

  ‘Yes. Is there a safer more lasting method of contraception that would suit me?’ Kyla asked.

  The doctor went to a cabinet and returned with a packet of capsules, ‘These take effect immediately they enter the system. Take one a month,’ he told her.

  ‘Thank you very much for your help in this matter. You will see that the new DNA deposit is banked and the old one removed?’

  The doctor nodded and they left happy with themselves.

  ‘What did you mean ‘banked?’’ Colin asked, as they made their way back to the cabin.

  ‘All deposits are frozen and kept in a central facility on Zylon, in case anything happens,’ Kyla explained.

  Once in the cabin they rested, but after lunch Kyla dragged Colin off to the library to show him various aspects of Zylon life—the sorts of things his children would encounter along the way that would shape them. He was amazed at the regulated regime, devoid of all the falsehoods that Earth seemed to revolve around.

  There were no religions, only a Zen-like practice—which strengthened the individual’s resolve. No monarchies, dictators or presidents, who were self-serving and corrupt. Without the brutality and hypocrisy of such things, the mental wards would all be empty and wars limited to just the one. The law courts were run on the ‘Truth System’ and not shaped to suit society as on Earth. That fact alone would empty the jails and put so many corrupt officials out of work.

  The Zylons grew their own green produce and supplemented it with packaged grains, while the first ten years of schooling were done at home—something Colin equated to the ‘School of the Air’ back on Earth. And it was only in their teenage years that students attended a live-in school for a semester each year. He could see those two things would all but wipe-out traffic congestion and pollution back home.

  Gradually he pieced together how things must be on the planet and how lucky he was to have a woman such as Kyla to mother his children.

  The evening was spent carefree in each other’s arms, with not a thought about Linus waiting below. However the next day proved to be quite different. It started with a workout in the gym after breakfast, but as they got their meal from Sami at midday, he handed them an envelope.

  ‘What is it?’ Kyla asked, but Sami just shrugged indifferently.

  She took it back to their table and opened it before eating.

  ‘It’s an invitation,’ she said, surprised.

  ‘Who’s it from?’

  Kyla read on, ‘It’s from the Colonel. He requests our presence at dinner tonight. It’s an informal gathering—seven for seven-thirty.’

  ‘Does it say where?’ Kyla looked, but it didn’t say.

  ‘I wonder if Sami knows,’ Colin said, and went back to ask him.

  He returned moments later, ‘It’s the Officer’s Mess down aft. It seems Sami’s got the night off.’

  ‘It says informal, so I can wear one of my dresses. Which one do you think I should wear?’

  ‘The blue one, so you sparkle like a diamond.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘You definitely don’t want to be a scarlet woman tonight,’ he said, and she agreed.

  ‘And what about you, what are you going to wear?’

  ‘The black outfit, so it will complement yours.’

  During the afternoon Kyla made sure everything was ready, but at six-thirty she still dashed about, worried about the way she looked.

  Finally Colin took hold of her hand, ‘You’re perfect, now let’s go.’

  They walked aft, almost down to the fantail of the ship and knocked on the Officer’s Mess entrance. A steward opened it and ushered them to the Colonel’s table.

  He welcomed them saying, ‘My, but you do look pretty, Kyla honey. I’m so pleased you could join us. Take a seat.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Kyla said, as she sat and looked around.

  Captain Jorgen was there along with Queenie and Phoebe. The steward moved in to fill their wine glasses and top up the others.

  ‘You know everyone, I believe?’ the Colonel said.

  ‘Please call me Rolf,’ the Captain insisted.

  ‘The Old Man is dining out on one of the other Carriers so we shouldn’t be bothered,’ the Colonel informed them. ‘Tell me, have you found enough on the ship to keep you occupied?’

  The young lovers looked at each other before Colin replied, ‘We’ve done a lot of gym work and spent some time in the library. Other than that there is only eating and sleeping.’

  ‘Nothing else?’ the Colonel enquired and Colin shook his head.

  ‘Then it’s a pity you can’t go below and kick up your heels. I know that you two like to go native while on leave and right now the indigenous people of this planet are celebrating the local harvest, performing fertility rites and such—so there will be two weeks of non-stop partying.’

  Phoebe elbowed the Colonel in the ribs as he tried to stifle the mirth inside him. The Captain and Queenie looked on disapprovingly, while Kyla’s face flushed a darker shade of green.

  The Colonel let them squirm a minute longer before relenting, ‘You’ll never guess who the dinner guest was last night?’

  Kyla stared straight ahead, ‘It was the Doctor, wasn’t it.’

  The Colonel laughed long and loud, ‘Too right, it was.’

  Colin held Kyla’s hand under the table as they both sat and silently endured his humour.

  When he could laugh no more he said, ‘I’m sorry about this, but it was too good to pass up. No, what I invited you here for was the opportunity to eat with friends. Plus I have a bit of news for you, but most of all I thought you might like to see these,’ and passed over an album of living pictures for them to see.

  Kyla powered the album up and her face melted as she viewed the opening page. She laid the tablet between Colin and herself, tears forming in her eyes as they pored over its contents together.

  The images were of the Colonel and Captain when they were younger, with a Zylon girl standing between them—the three were laughing and joking, the bond between them evident. The next picture was of the same young girl standing alone on her wedding day. Another showed an older Zylon couple standing with her, but strangely enough, no groom. The one following was of the Colonel in Dress Uniform and the one after that was of him and Rolf standing together—the last two pictures taken aboard a Legion Ship.

  ‘Perhaps I’d better explain,’ the Colonel said. ‘The first picture is of myself, Rolf and his sister Alta, who went on to become my wife. But it wasn’t your normal wedding, no-Sir-ee. I went back to Zylon a few times to spend leave with Rolf and his family and while there I fell in love with his sister. Well one thing led to another and one time when we came back, we got word that she was pregnant. I couldn’t get back there for another year, so her parents arranged a marriage by proxy.’

  Colin and Kyla viewed more of the images, but halfway through the album the pictures of Alta ceased and only co
ntained those of their three children as they grew.’

  ‘So what happened?’ Colin asked.

  ‘Lizards happened! My sister moved to the frontier to be nearer to Rhys and the Lizards swept through, destroying everything in their path,’ Rolf said, bitterly.

  ‘What about the children?’ Kyla gasped.

  ‘Thankfully they were spared. They were visiting their grandparents at the time,’ the Colonel said. ‘Knowing they were alive was the one thing that saved our sanity and pulled us through.’

  ‘They were harrowing times as I recall,’ said Rolf. ‘Rhys was inconsolable and took his anger out on every Lizard that crossed our path.’

  ‘What about you? Honestly,’ the Colonel replied, and then addressed the Alpha crew. ‘This fellow gets us chased into a Lizard trap on the edge of their Carrier’s defence. He roars in and angles up slightly, then cuts power and applies full drag to his cav plates. We cart-wheeled over the lot of them and he sat us down with their hangars in full view. All I had to do was fire the torpedo and we got us a Carrier that day.’

  Phoebe and Queenie sat sipping their wine while their escorts recounted the settling of old scores.

  ‘So what are your children doing now?’ Kyla asked.

  ‘Let me see now, Olva’s the eldest. She’s married with two kids herself now. Can you believe it—me a grandfather?’ he said, taking a wallet out of his pocket with the latest shots. ‘Rhys Junior is a hotshot pilot. He’s off breaking hearts on some far-off planet and the youngest is Arda, she’s still single and breaking them back on Zylon.’

  ‘What about you, Rolf? Did you ever marry?’ Colin asked.

  ‘I never felt the need to. Queenie and the other hostesses have spoilt me—and Rhys has successfully perpetuated my line.’

  ‘He dotes on my kids as much as I do,’ the Colonel told them.

  The soup arrived and they started to eat.

  ‘Tell me, what was the news that you had?’ Colin asked.

  ‘Oh, that! I nearly forgot. So far the Prathkos have flushed out three bounty hunters. They must be pretty scarce on the ground by now. We’ll give it another couple of days and see if they can find any more, then perhaps you can get a couple of days ashore. Also there was an invitation I’m supposed to pass on—it’s from the Alpha Team aboard the Rebuke. They’re on duty above us and asked if you’d care to lunch with them one day.’

  ‘Would tomorrow be okay?’

  ‘Fine, I’ll tell them you’ll be there.’

  The entrée arrived, followed by the main meal as the conversation continued. One of the things that intrigued Kyla was why the two hostesses were still onboard.

  ‘You’ve been to a Legion Complex before. Each place has its own hostesses, plus all of those love starved blow-ins from off-planet. There’s only so much a girl can do down there,’ Phoebe complained.

  After dessert the coffee was served.

  ‘Would it be possible for me to hold on to the album for a couple of days?’

  ‘Sure, go for it,’ the Colonel said, so Kyla got up and went around the table to give him a kiss and thank him.

  ‘Hey, leave some for me,’ Phoebe cried.

  Later, when back in their cabin, Kyla sat at her desk and pored over the album, looking at each of the children from birth through to young adulthood. Colin sat patiently by, taking an interest until he finally grew tired and stretched out on the bunk. He understood that for all of the Colonels joking and rough demeanour, he was really a softie underneath. He was sharing his family with them—giving Kyla a glimpse of what the offspring from a mixed marriage might look like in case she wasn’t around to see her own children in their lifetime. When she snuggled up beside him he was already asleep.

  The Last Resort

  At breakfast time the next day they warned Sami that they wouldn’t be around for lunch and then worked out in the gym afterwards until it was time to get ready. Rolf met them at the teleporter and changed the settings of the destination to the Rebuke before hitting the button to send them.

  It was like walking through a mirror—from an empty ship to a fully functioning one. A Prathkos was there waiting to escort them and the first thing they noticed was the sound of the ship’s crew in the corridor and beyond. On entering the mess the noise abated and all eyes turned to look at the newcomers. The Rebukes fighter crews were all aware of their identity and had followed their exploits via the nightly news clips—now they were taken aback by Kyla’s beauty as well. The Prathkos led them over to their Alpha counterparts, who rose to greet and shake hands with them.

  The Rebuke’s Alpha Fighter was from interstate and really switched on. His name was Richard and his pilot’s was Gunnar.

  ‘Trust me to get an ugly pilot,’ Richard said, as he drank in Kyla’s form, ‘thank you for accepting our invitation, such as it is. Please be seated. When the brass in Battle Command told us of your predicament we thought we’d convert it to our benefit and invite you here to pick your brains,’ he added, and then signalled for a colleague to deliver a meal for the visitors.

  ‘We’re glad we could oblige. So tell us about your last four battles,’ Colin said.

  ‘That would be Jena, Amado, Zeta and Eurides. They were hard fought, but we pulled through. Took some casualties though—way too many.’

  The guests’ food arrived and they started to eat.

  ‘Tell me, you’ve seen the news clips coming through?’ Colin asked.

  ‘Yes, and might I say they were inspirational.’

  ‘Did you adopt any of the tactics used?’

  ‘That’s the thing. We’d like you to explain them to us if you would.’

  ‘Who’s your number two?’ Colin asked, and Richard pointed to the next fellow along.

  Colin turned to him and said, ‘When you’ve finished your meal could you go down to Battle Command and get the clip of the Redemptions first battle at Tace, last time in? Also a blank memory stick, if they’ve got one.’

  ‘And how are you enjoying it so far?’ Gunnar asked Kyla.

  ‘It’s everything and more than I thought it would be,’ she replied.

  ‘Yes, it’s going to be hard to settle down again after so much excitement,’ he replied, and she laughed.

  ‘How do you want to do this?’ Richard asked.

  ‘As you’re already deployed, there is no time like the present. Have everyone remain in the mess after lunch and then I’ll run them through the tactics and capture the lesson for use later. After that, we’ll use the clip of Tace to show the results.’

  ‘That sounds fine,’ Richard said. He went over to the lectern and spoke into the microphone there. ‘The Redemption’s Alpha Crew has kindly offered to stay and give us the benefit of their experience. I want everyone to remain in the mess after the meal please.’

  Afterwards he returned to his guests.

  The Red Leaders exchanged small talk for the rest of the hour. The main topics discussed centred on when Colin and Kyla were downed above Verdi and the capture of the Lizard craft. All those around shook their heads in amazement as the story was told. They marvelled at how Kyla could land an enemy craft on a Legion Carrier and then use it later for a free shot at a Lizard one.

  ‘Everyone else was ready to throw the Lizard fighter overboard, can you imagine that? What a waste,’ Colin said.

  ‘How come you got shot down in the first place if your way of fighting is so good?’ a nearby fighter asked.

  ‘As I remember, the Lizards were upset at losing a Carrier like that and were trying everything in order to get even. That time all four Lizard Squadrons ripped through our quadrant to try and swamp us. We acted as a decoy, while the other squadrons went above and behind,’ the fighters fell silent as the story was told.

  ‘Always check with Battle Command before you leave the ship. They’ll have the Lizards on their long range navigational screens so they can tell you how they’re deployed,’ Colin warned.

  Richard’s number two re-appeared with the memory sticks
.

  Colin looked at his watch.

  ‘Time, Gentlemen,’ he said, and handed the sticks to Kyla.

  She went over to insert the blank into the VDU and then set it to capture. Richard introduced them both and Colin began his spiel.

  ‘By now most of you will have seen the news-clips of the latest battles by the crew of the Redemption. Today I’m going to talk you through the tactics used. What we have found is that when in a formation of any kind, it is better to concentrate your firepower by laying down salvos in a set sequence. It is not a new tactic, but one that gives you the immediate upper hand in any engagement.’

  ‘Going out to meet the enemy your Alpha leader will tell you to stagger formation and load proximity. Usually he will call for one salvo from the squadron before handing over to the wing leaders, who will then identify targets and fire another two salvos each—in quick succession. If done correctly, you will have downed a third of the enemy on average, without so much as a scratch to yourselves. That equates to four hundred enemy rockets and as much laser-fire again. Whenever you’re in a wing or even split into Red or Green, you can call in concentrated fire on one or two craft. Think about it.’

  Colin quickly drew a formation of fighters on the whiteboard and continued.

  ‘The Number Ones fire to the front, Number Twos to the left, Number Threes to the right, Number Fours above and Number Fives below. The wing or alpha leader will give the overall order to fire and in order for it to work all rockets must be expended at the same time. Is everyone clear on that?’

  ‘The beauty of this tactic is that you surround the enemy with fire and in their attempt to get out of the way of the middle rocket, they get caught up in the surrounding salvo. However it is also a tactic that the Lizards can use on us, which is why we deploy in staggered formation. It gives us somewhere to go.’

  He nodded to Kyla and she inserted footage of their first battle above Tace into the VDU.

  ‘For this battle we had a few old timers who had fought above Tace before and lost one third of their men when they took it, only to see it lost on their departure,’ he nodded again and the clip rolled.

  The film showed Alpha Squadron as they fired a salvo of rockets towards the advancing Lizards and the destruction that followed. The Lizards broke into wings, so Alpha Squadron did the same—each of the legion wings loosing another two salvos in quick succession with similar results.