“She’s just a friend.” He looked at her date. “Of course that’s what you said about him in the beginning, and it looks like y’all are well past the friends stage now.” It killed Evan to see her walk in on that man’s arm, knowing he was probably one of the main reasons for their break up. Although he couldn’t prove it, he suspected the other man had talked him down to Erika for months before she finally decided to move out of their home.
Her grip on his shoulder tightened as her emerald eyes became cold and distant. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I wouldn’t say it’s serious.”
“I’m sure that’s not because he hasn’t tried to move things along though, am I right?” He knew he was supposed to be smoothing the waters, but that wasn’t easy when he thought about Erika being intimate with someone else.
“You don’t get over a six year relationship overnight,” she said quietly as her eyes fell to the opening of his button down shirt. “In fact, getting over you is harder than I thought.”
His grip on her waist tightened. It was the first bit of encouragement she’d given him since she left and he couldn’t suppress the hope swelling in his chest. “It hasn’t been easy for me either.” He decided to set his pride aside and tell her the truth. “Who the hell am I kiddin’? I’ve never gotten over you. Don’t think I ever will.”
She pressed her hand against his chest. “Evan…”
“Sssh,” he said, bringing her in closer. “Don’t say anything. Don’t list the reasons why it would never work, or why I can’t be the man you need. I know all that. I just want to hold you for a minute…” He hadn’t allowed himself to feel this vulnerable and exposed with anyone in a long time. “I wanna pretend I can turn back the clock and stop at a time when you were still in love with me.”
Erika settled her head against his chest, and he knew she could hear the wild staccato of his heart, but he didn’t care if she knew the effect she had on him. The world only knew one side of him, Evan Spencer, President of Titan Records, but she knew the good, the bad, and the ugly.
“It’s so good to see you again,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you.”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you.” He missed her all the time; when his head hit the pillow at night, when he showered in the morning, drove to work, and every moment in between. She’d claimed his heart years ago, and evidentially it was the one thing she’d failed to leave behind when she left.
“I’m sorry I didn’t return any of your calls after I left. It was just too painful.”
“I understand.” He did understand. They both knew his sole reason for calling was to try and convince her to give him another chance, and during those bleak days when he had to adjust to returning home to a cold and empty apartment, he would have said or done anything to get her to come back.
“Dom tells me you’re still working crazy hours,” she said, looking up at him.
Evan wished he could deny it. He’d like to tell her he was a changed man, a man she might consider giving another chance, but so little had changed. If anything, he worked more to fill the void she’d left in his life. “The company isn’t going to run itself,” he said quietly.
“Ryan and Bri seem happy,” she said, seeming anxious to change the subject. “Who would’ve thought those two would wind up together, huh?”
He couldn’t help but smile when he looked at his brother. He’d never seen him happier or more content than he was in the months since Brianna had moved in with him. They were perfect for each other. “Best decision Ry ever made was hookin’ up with that girl.”
She smiled. “I think so too.” She tore her gaze away from the table when her date gave her a questioning look. “So, Dom and Lena picked a great spot for their wedding, don’t you think?”
They had often talked about doing what their friends were, taking the people closest to them and getting married in paradise, with the ocean and tropical flowers as their backdrop. If Evan had it to do all over again, he would have made Erika’s dream wedding happen years ago. If he had, now he would be dancing with his wife instead of another man’s date.
“Yeah, I’ve heard good things about the Bahamas. It should be fun.” Before tonight, Evan dreaded the wedding, but if he had more opportunities to dance with Erika like this, it would be worth of falling in love with her all over again.
His Uncle Trey was playing with his band, something he hadn’t done since his retirement last year, and Evan held up one finger to indicate he’d like him to play another slow song. Trey winked and tipped his cowboy hat at his nephew.
Evan’s brother-in-law, J.T. McCall, had agreed to close Jimmy’s bar for their private party to celebrate Dom and Liam’s pending nuptials, and their friends and family agreed to take turns playing for the small crowd. Aside from Trey, they had some of the biggest names in country music taking the small stage: Ty McCall, Nikki Spencer McCall, and Tori Warner Cooper. If they had opened the bar to the public, it would have resulted in mayhem.
“Trey looks like he’s having fun up there,” she said, smiling. “I wonder if he ever misses it?”
“Are you kiddin’? He’s havin’ too much fun as the dotin’ grandfather to miss performin’ in front of capacity crowds every night.”
“I know. He’s so cute with the baby. Who ever thought a big, tough guy like him would melt over one tiny little man?”
He looked into her eyes a long time and knew they were both thinking about the kind of father he would have been to their children if he’d been given the chance. “Some of the toughest guys I know are the best dads,” he whispered, holding her tighter.
“I know,” she said. Her eyes glistened as she blinked. “Your dad is a great example of that. He was a hard-nosed business man, yet when it comes to his family, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for y’all.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Evan said, glancing at his parents. “My mama’s a little jealous that Sierra became a grandmother before she did, if you wanna know the truth.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m sure it won’t be long before Bri and Ryan give her those grandkids she wants.”
“She was countin’ on us to give her those grandbabies.” He knew he was crossing the line, but he had nothing left to lose.
“Don’t,” she said, pressing a palm into his chest as she stepped back. “Please, just don’t.”
***
Erika ran past their table and in to the ladies restroom, hoping Jeff wouldn’t notice her hasty departure. He constantly questioned whether she still had feelings for her ex, and she knew their intimate display on the dance floor would not help dispel his concerns.
Her hands trembled as she reached for the edge of the countertop and tried to calm her erratic breathing. Being in Evan’s arms again had awakened feelings she’d believed she’d come to terms with months ago.
“Hey, are you okay?” Lena asked, stepping through the door.
Erika met her friend’s eyes in the mirror. They had met through the men in their lives. Dom and Evan had been best friends since college, and when Lena started dating Dom, they became a tight foursome who enjoyed spending their limited free time together. In spite of her break-up with Evan, she and Lena had remained close.
“No,” she whispered.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Lena said, coming forward to envelop her friend in a hug. “We’re gonna help get you through this.”
“No,” Erika said, trying to regain her composure as she withdrew from the tight embrace. “This is about you and Dom. We’re here to help you celebrate, and I won’t do anything to take away from that.” She ran her hands up and down Lena’s arms. “You’ve been through so much, honey. You deserve to be happy, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for you and Dom. Honestly, I’m going to be fine.” She squared her shoulders and forced a smile. “I don’t want you to give me another thought.”
Lena wiped a tear from Erika’s cheek. “That’s easier said than done when I think about what this must be doing to you. I know be
tter than anyone how hard it was for you to even think about moving on when you ended things with Evan.”
“But I have moved on.” When Lena didn’t look convinced, she amended her statement. “Okay, I’m trying to move on. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, seeing him again, but we both love you guys and we wouldn’t do anything to ruin this for you.” She kissed Lena’s cheek. “I promise. Now let’s go out there and get drunk.”
Lena laughed as they linked arms. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk.”
“There’s a first time for everything, right?”
“You wanna tell me what Evan said?” Lena asked, pausing mid-step and forcing Erika to do the same.
“He said he missed me.” She chose her words carefully so she wouldn’t risk falling apart again. “He asked about Jeff…”
“What did you tell him?”
“The truth. That it’s not serious, but…” She shrugged. “Who knows, it might be.”
Lena didn’t look convinced. “I can’t help but think if something was going to happen between you two, it would have by now. You’ve worked together for almost two years. You’ve been seeing each other for several months…” She looked around to make sure they were alone before she whispered, “You haven’t even slept with him yet.”
That was the biggest bone of contention in Erika’s relationship with Jeff. Erika maintained she wasn’t ready to get serious, even though she’d told Evan that she was anxious to settle down and start the next phase of her life; it didn’t feel right. She didn’t know if she was the problem or Jeff was. Either way, she wasn’t about to jump into bed with a man she couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life with. Evan was the only lover she’d ever had, or ever wanted, and she hoped the next time she made love would be as special as their first time. She would know she’d found the right man if he made her feel the way Evan did when he held her.
“Oh, it looks like my parents are getting ready to leave,” Erika said as they rounded the corner. “It was so nice of you guys to include them.”
“Are you kidding? I love them. They’re family.”
That was the incredible thing about this group of people, Erika realized. Once they accepted you into their hearts, you were always welcome in their homes and at their dinner tables. She was worried tonight would be awkward, since she hadn’t seen many of them since she’d broken up with Evan, but they all treated her as though she was still one of their family.
“You go,” Erika said, squeezing her friend’s hand. “Dance with that gorgeous fiancée of yours while I say good-night to my parents. Then we’ll have that drink… or ten.” She winked. “Maybe that’ll put me in a better frame of mind.”
Lena hip-checked her and smiled. “You’re on, girl.”
Erika’s mother held her hands out when she saw her daughter approach. “How are you, sweetheart?”
“I’m fine.” She smiled, only hoping it was genuine enough to convince them. “You guys are heading off early.”
“Your father has a doctor’s appointment early in the morning,” Beth Carlton said, holding her arms out so her husband could help her with her coat. “It was so nice of Dominic and Lena to include us.” She waved at the couple, who was dancing in the middle of the floor. “I’m looking so forward to going to the Bahamas. I’ve heard wonderful things about it.”
“So have I.” She frowned at her father when she noted he looked a little pale. “This doctor’s appointment, it’s nothing serious, is it?”
“No, of course not. Just a routine check-up.”
Her father hugged her and she allowed herself to hold on a little longer than necessary. Andrew Carlton had always been her hero. He was the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate man she had ever known, and he’d built a successful business around the animals he loved so much. He was the reason she’d decided to become a vet, and taking over his business when he retired was one of her proudest moments.
“Are you really okay?” he asked, drawing back to look her in the eye. He glanced over her shoulder and she turned to see Evan walking toward them.
Evan didn’t hesitate to kiss her mother’s cheek before clasping her father’s hand. “It was so good to see you both,” he said, placing a hand on Erika’s back as though he’d never given up the right to touch her.
Beth raised her hand and patted Evan’s face as though she’d finally been re-united with her long-lost son. “It’s good to see you, too.”
“How have you been, Ev?” Andrew asked, shrugging into his overcoat. “Busy with work?” His eyes met his daughter’s, as though he felt he needed to remind her why she’d ended the relationship.
Toward the end of her time with Evan, she’d been miserable and her parents supported her through it. She went to them the night she left Evan’s apartment, with her suitcases in hand, asking for a place to stay. They’d insisted she re-claim her childhood bedroom until her broken heart began to heal and she was finally able to think about buying a little home of her own. It wasn’t an easy step to take. She’d always assumed she would buy her first home with Evan, but it was one of many dreams she’d had to surrender to her new reality.
“Yeah, it takes up most of my time.” He had the nerve to slide his arm around Erika’s waist. “Of course, I haven’t got much else goin’ on these days.”
Andrew raised an eyebrow at the intimate gesture. “We met Natasha earlier. She seems like a lovely girl.”
“We’re just friends,” Evan said, glancing down at Erika. “There’s no one special in my life. In fact, there hasn’t been for a long time now.”
Erika wished she had the nerve to stomp her high heel down on his foot, but she didn’t want to cause a scene in front of her parents, so she smiled sweetly and kissed both of their cheeks as she pulled out of Evan’s grasp. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow. Drive safely.”
“Let me know if you need any help at the vaccine clinic tomorrow. You know how crazy things can get if you’re understaffed.”
“I think Jeff and I can handle it, but thanks for the offer, Dad.” She kept her smile firmly in place until her parents were outside. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked, turning on Evan.
“I was saying good-night to your parents. Do you have a problem with that?”
“I have a problem with you acting like we’re still a couple.”
“You think I need you to remind me that another man is takin’ you home tonight?” he growled, backing her into a small, dark alcove away from the main entrance. “Don’t you think I know that bastard is gonna be the one makin’ love to you tonight?” His gaze lingered on her lips and she heard, rather than felt, her sharp intake of breath when he stepped closer, leaving no room for escape.
She probably should correct his assumption about the nature of her relationship with Jeff, but she suspected convincing him to maintain a safe distance would be even more difficult if she admitted he was her last and only lover.
“It kills me,” he whispered in her hair, bracing his hands on either side of her head. “Thinkin’ about someone else touchin’ you the way I used to touch you, kissin’ you the way I used to kiss you…”
No one had ever kissed her the way he did and she feared no one’s touch would ever make her feel the way his did. “You have to stop doing this,” she murmured, closing her eyes as she tried to turn her head away. “It’s not fair… to either one of us.”
“You still want me.”
He brushed his cheek against hers and she felt the scrape of his whiskers awaken memories of long, passionate nights when they’d shut out the rest of the world. “Why are you doing this? You know we can’t be together. I’ve moved on…”
“If I thought for a second that loser could make you happy, I’d back off, but we both know he can’t.” He placed a finger under her chin, coaxing her to look at him. “You felt somethin’ when we danced tonight, somethin’ you haven’t felt in a long, long time.”
She shook her head, desperately trying to deny
his claim. “No…”
“Yes,” he said, his lips hovering just above hers. “I saw it in your eyes when you ran to the restroom. You were runnin’ scared. What you feel for me terrifies you because it threatens this perfect little orderly life you’ve built for yourself.”
Erika wanted to deny his claim, but he knew her too well to believe her lies, so she remained silent. She hoped he would be the first to back down, even though he never had before. Couldn’t he see what this was doing to her? Didn’t he care that he was re-opening wounds that had finally started to heal?
“You chose a guy like him because he’s a safe bet. He doesn’t make you feel anything and you think if you don’t feel, you can’t get hurt.”
It pained her to admit how right he was.
“But this hurts, doesn’t it?” he asked, brushing his face against her hair. “Being so close to me and feelin’ as though you can’t reach out and touch me or you can’t kiss me…”
Her body trembled in response to his erotic taunt and she knew what she said to him now didn’t matter; her body had already betrayed her.
“You can, you know,” he said, framing her face with his hands. “Nothin’ and no one is here to stop you.”
She closed her eyes, knowing the temptation staring her in the face was too great to resist. If she gave in and kissed him or let him kiss her, it would be over. The grueling months she’d spent trying to pick up the pieces would have been for nothing because she’d be right back where she started: in love with a man she could never have, at least not completely.
Pushing against his shoulders, she forced him to take a step back. “Stay the hell away from me.”
Chapter Two
Marisa stepped in her son’s path as he headed back to their table. “I was hoping you were gonna ask your poor old mama to dance?”
Evan rolled his eyes. His mother was still so gorgeous his buddies often told her she looked more like his sister. “It would be my pleasure,” he said, extending his hand.
Burn Out Page 2