The Brightness Duet: Complete Series Boxset

by Bri Stone

  “Fuck.” Stan murmurs. “That looks like a problem for you.”

  “You think she heard me?”

  “Possible. Just go down on her for about fifteen minutes, she’ll forget all about it.”

  I groan. “That won’t work on her. I have been wanting to talk about it, but I never felt like I needed to. It was just some shit in my head.”

  “Well...now it’s some shit she heard.”

  I want to go in there after her, but the fact that she didn’t even look at me tells me she doesn’t want to be bothered. Plus, Stan is here. She is private when it comes to us (besides Melinda) so that wouldn’t help.

  “I sent the furniture to your place today, so everything will be ready. I’ll come out around Thanksgiving. Unless you have plans.”

  I shake my head. I have spent thanksgiving with Perrie and her family the past three years. Stan always goes to one of the sites his charity manages, helping the homeless in LA.

  “You didn’t have to get me a place. I could have slummed it.” I force a laugh, but it’s nervous and only half of one. Perrie is in the next room stewing and I can’t even talk to her because I know her too well.

  “Yeah right. You’ve always been spoiled.”

  Mom was a scrub nurse, so growing up we were always fine. At the same time, she’s my mom and probably hid anything from me that would be concerning.

  “Alice used to skip lunch from October until December to save money for your birthday gifts and for Christmas. When I noticed, I started inviting her to eat with me. I...miss her.” He almost adds that like he shouldn’t miss her. I don’t understand it, but I don’t ask either.

  “Me too.”

  When it’s time for Stan to go, he tries to give me a talking to, but it ends up being almost comical. But I do hear him.

  I stand in the empty kitchen and I imagine I am alone. It isn’t easy, because Perrie is everywhere. So, I close my eyes.

  I close my eyes and picture myself in Rochester without her. What it will be like when I come home, and she isn’t there—it won’t even be coming home, because she is home to me. I picture not being able to climb into bed with her or jump in the shower with her and scare her in the process. Not being able to snuggle her on the couch and inhale her scent until I am dizzy. I picture not feeling her softness against me, burying myself inside of her at least every day. I picture not simply seeing her beautiful face every day—when I wake up and when I go to bed and when I wake up in the middle of the night because I need my inhaler and I look at her sleeping, hear her little snorts and suddenly, I don’t need it anymore. I just need her.

  I picture the pain I’ll be in and I know it is nowhere near the real thing. I wonder if we should have matched as a couple, but I would never ask her to compromise her placement for us to stay together. I wonder if I should have married her, just so things would be more official somehow.

  I wonder about every fucking thing before I can make myself go lay next to Perrie for one of the last three sleeps I have with her.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven: Perrie

  I WASN’T NEARLY AS mad at Thom as I wanted to be. I could never be mad at him for being honest, even if it wasn’t to my face. We talked briefly when he came to bed last night, and I convinced him his worries were wrong. Well, I hope I did.

  But something was bothering me that I just had to settle, and it wasn’t with Thom. With him leaving in two days, I knew I had to do this so that I wouldn’t feel farther apart from him than I already would be when he leaves. So, I called Stan to see if I could come by and see him.

  He worked in the general practice wing of the university hospital, since he changed jobs last year. Thom still doesn’t know why he stopped operating four years ago. Maybe this would shed light on it...

  It’s Friday afternoon and I asked for the day off weeks ago when I learned when T hom was leaving. It is still surreal, knowing I am done with med school. I leave two days after Thom, and I picked up a sublease at North Point apartment complexes, just so I could focus on the new city and program once I get there.

  I sip down my chai tea and head to Stan’s office. It is on the top floor of the hospital and has an amazing view. I was here last year to get his opinion on a birthday gift for Thom, it ended up being a double gusset messenger bag.

  I am just about to knock on the door before a nurse comes out with an expression and gait I can only describe as someone who has just had sex. I step to the side and wait a few minutes before I knock and go inside. I pass the time by sending Thom pictures of my legs—yeah, that’s a thing.

  “Stan,” I knock and go through the half-open door. Stan is at his desk in a blue dress shirt, rocking his always tussled hair and crooked smile.

  “Perrie, come in honey. Sit down.” He stands up and gives me a brief hug before sitting next to me on his gray corner couch.

  His office is very modern but has some traditional charm. The couch and chairs are gray, but the desk and bookshelf are a dark, old aged wood. It smells like cinnamon and linen, and I figure it’s for the comfort of the patients, because I already feel more comfortable.

  “So, why did you want to meet with me? Of course, I am happy to see you. Is it about what Thom did last night?”

  I giggle. “No, I’m not mad about that or anything.”

  “Oh, you guys made up, huh?” He flashes a devilish grin that doesn’t make me as uncomfortable as it should with what he’s insinuating.

  “Pretty much.” I laugh but the tension in my chest doesn’t go away. “It’s something else.” I blow out a shaky breath.

  I grab my fingers in my lap and wring them out, something I always do when I am nervous. I am going out on such a limb here, and if I am wrong I can fall crashing to the ground. But I know I have all my clues in line, and a very undeniable feeling.

  I look in his eyes and pretend I am talking to Thom. Which is easy.

  “When are you going to tell him?” My voice isn’t nearly as steady as I would like it to be, but I know he hears me.

  His face doesn’t show it. The only change is in a shift of his brow and a twitch of his lip. “Tell who what?” He cocks his head to the side and smiles like I am the confused one.

  With a slow blink, I inhale and try to stand my ground. Or sit my ground. “Uhm,” I flip my hair over and scratch my head. “Thom. Tell Thom.” I don’t want to insinuate anything, so I can’t spell it out—if I am wrong, then I am wrong, and this will be extremely awkward going forward.

  “Perrie, I don’t understand.” His chuckle isn’t nearly as calm or comforting as he wants it to be.

  I stare back at his oh so familiar gray eyes and plead for the truth without having to feed it to him. I don’t know how long we sit there with the clock ticking in the background and the sweat pooling in my palms; before he finally says something.

  “I don’t know if I can ever tell him.” His head hangs into his hand and he brushes back the hair that falls over his eyes. He exhales with the relief of a secret he has kept for twenty-five years.

  We are silent for so long I wonder if he has forgotten what I said. He turns to me and I catch his inquisitive eyes.

  “How did you know?”

  I almost laugh, because it must be funny that he doesn’t know how much he is like his son. “You both look exactly alike, for one. When I first saw you, I thought you were his father, but he said you’re his uncle, so I left it alone. But then when we had lunch last year it just...you both have such similar mannerisms. It’s almost insane. Or more so that he still has no idea.”

  His eyes widen, and his shoulder go stiff. “You didn’t tell him?”

  “No. I wasn’t sure enough to and it really isn’t my place. I didn’t want to even come here either but... I suppose I just had to know. I’m not even sure.”

  “Perrie,” he grips my forearm and I am surprised he doesn’t have cold hands, “please don’t tell him.”

  I attempt to swallow a thick lump, I fail and place my hand over his. “I don’
t know if I can keep this from him.” I shake my head.

  “I know,” he gravels, “but I should at least be the one to tell him. One day.”

  “Why not now? Before he leaves?”

  Stan almost laughs and purses his lips, the same way Thom does, ugh. It really is uncanny. “You want me to change his whole life before he goes off to residency? No.” He shakes his head firmly.

  “But...I don’t know if I can keep this from him.”

  “You kept your true feelings from him for a year, you can probably do it if you try.”

  I am taken aback, and he apologizes with his softening eyes. “Well, you aren’t as nice as Thom.” I smooth my hands over my legs and scoot back on the couch. I sigh, and turn to him, “I know I shouldn’t tell him. I won’t—I’ll try to not hint at it either. But Thom...he has never mentioned not knowing his father besides the first time. He really doesn’t even...care.” I try to choose a good word, but it is the only one I can think of.

  “And I started to think,” I continue, “that it’s because you were always there. A lot of his ‘firsts’ he told me about, they were with you. I just don’t understand why you ended up...I don’t get it. Of course, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just rambling because this is...insane. It was just a fantasy in my head! A Lifetime movie I could play out in my head.” I grin slightly at him, but his face is stone cold.

  My face falls and I nervously reach for his arm, patting him like I don’t know what to do. Because I don’t. We aren’t really friends, we just seem close because he has nearly no filter. There have never been any conversations of this weight between us.

  “I’m sorry. It isn’t fair of me to bring all this on you. You’re a grown man, capable of your own decisions.”

  “Yeah, shitty ones.” He scoffs.

  I chew the inside of my lip and tick away the silence.

  “Alice was...I loved her. I always did. But I made all the wrong choices, said the wrong things. The day she told me she was pregnant, I told her I wanted to be sure it was even mine. We were never—I never even took her on a proper date. I met her my intern year and she was younger...it just—I was a glorified player and every female in that hospital knew it. After that day she left, and I didn’t see her for a few years. She came back to work when Thom was five, thinking I wouldn’t still work there. But at that point I was an attending in general surgery and wasn’t going anywhere.”

  He nearly groans and rubs his face with his hands. He seems to smile at a distant memory before he continues. “She brought him to work one day to show him around and I saw him...he looked just like me. Even more when I was a kid. Alice looked at me and it was so cold, I deserved it but to realize how much I hurt her was physically painful.” His sigh is strangled. “She told me she was in love with me, and that she wanted to try and be with me when she revealed her pregnancy...I still think about what I said to her that day and every time I do, it makes me sick to my stomach.”

  “Did you try to talk to her when she left?” I ask softly, cautiously.

  “I called a few times, soon her number changed and then I was just...ashamed. I didn’t try anything after that. It took me a while after that day to get her to even speak to me. I kind of weaseled my way in because I was friends with one of the pharmacists, and I found out he had asthma like her. I started buying his medication before she picked it up. Leaving stuff for Thom in her locker. I didn’t officially meet Thom until he was eight years old in second grade. He had a bad asthma attack and I was doing rounds in the ER, it gave him this eczema rash on his arm. When he was admitted I get her alone in the same closet we,” he chuckles and gives me his slight sheepish grin, “I just let her take it out on me for a while until she let me see him, as his doctor at first. Then I become his uncle.” He shrugs like he is okay with the story, like he accepts it as it.

  “Whoa.” I exhale. I didn’t expect that much of an unload, but I got it.

  “When Alice got sick I...it felt like every part of me was being broken into and there was nothing I could do. I wanted to tell Thom then, but Alice didn’t want him to find out that way. I will always regret the way I treated her. And never claiming her as mine. When she died, a part of me did too. The good part that should have had a chance with her. Now I’m just...playing my role she gave me.”

  I soak in his words, trying to absorb his feelings. It is so much at once my head is nearly spinning. But I try. He feels obligated to make her happy even still. I see in his face and in his eyes that he really was in love with her, he just didn’t know how to love her.

  “I’m sorry, Stan.” When I shift closer and lay my arm over his shoulders to hug him, it doesn’t feel awkward or weird. It just feels right because in that moment, it becomes real that he is Thom’s father. The man I love and adore is his son and I suddenly feel like I need his approval. He rests his head on mine and taps my shoulder.

  “Thank you for telling me.” I sigh, “and I won’t tell Thom. Ever. I promise. Just please tell him soon.”

  He nods and kisses my forehead. I pull back and smile at him. He grins, and I realize I am looking at Thom in about twenty years.

  “So how about I take my son’s girlfriend to lunch?”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight: Thom

  I HAVE GONE FROM COUNTING down the hours to counting down the minutes. Soon, I’ll be at seconds. I am a little worried about my plans, because Perrie has been acting weird since she got back from lunch.

  “Have you packed everything?” Perrie wraps her arms around me from behind the stool I am sitting on in the kitchen.

  I kiss her hand, turn and smile, “Mostly.”

  She snickers and kisses my ear. Her cheek then rests on mine and we stay in that position for a while, just enjoying the feel of each other. I try and memorize the tone of her bright lilac scent and the weight of her body against mine. It is no use, since I could never really do it.

  “Mmm, Are you hungry?” I ask her.

  “A little.”

  “You’re always hungry.” I grab her and spin her around to face me. “Don’t think of it as our last dinner together.”

  Her eyes flicker.

  “We’ll have plenty more when we visit each other.” I crack a smile to be as convincing as possible. I just want to be strong for her, because I want her to be okay when I’m gone. I don’t know how okay I will be.

  She has been mine for the past three years, four if I count the first year we were just friends. Still, it will be such a hard adjustment. And...fuck, I’m going to miss her.

  “Yeah. You’re right.” She gives me a soft, quick kiss and pulls back a few inches.

  “I have somewhere to take you first.” I tuck her hair behind her ear as she nods.

  She gives me a small smile. “Okay. Let me just freshen up.”

  I PULL DOWN THE GRAVEL driveway, glad that she doesn’t already know where we are. I park on the outside and walk shakily inside with her. I feel her glance up at me, but I can’t bear to meet her eyes yet. She takes my hand and squeezes; it’s enough to calm my nerves.

  I have wanted them to meet for a long time. I almost brought her here on the anniversary of her death, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Something just changed this morning; when it really set in that I was leaving. I knew I couldn’t just marry her to make things official, but she could meet my mom and it sort of feels like the same thing.

  “Thom...” her fingers link around my arm as she reads the stone.

  “Can we sit?”

  “Yes, of course.” She pulls me down with a sad smile.

  I hold her close and let the wind whip her scent my direction.

  “I kept wondering why I hadn’t brought you here sooner. I always wanted you to meet my mom. And she really would have loved you. I don’t know much about my father or if he even knows she’s dead, but I honestly don’t care. I just miss her, and I love her.”

  Perrie kisses my cheek and I lean into her. “I want so much for us, in the future.” I keep her gaze and
watch as it lights up: “marriage, kids, maybe even a dog. I don’t know anything for sure, except that in twenty years, I want to be in your life. I want to be coming home to you every day. Residency is just...an outlier in the complicated data sequence that is us.”

  She manages a laugh. I grin and kiss her nose. She snuggles in closer to me. “Do you talk to her?”

  “Sometimes. Maybe just to vent.” I don’t visit that often.

  “Well,” she clears her throat and scoots closer to the stone, “hi Miss Miller. I’m Perrie. I’ve been Thom’s girlfriend for a while now, and I love him very, very much.” I blink back tears as I watch the love of my life talk to my mom. “He’s leaving tomorrow, and I know it’s going to be really hard, but I know we can do it together because Thom is really determined, and thoughtful. You raised a good son, and I’m very lucky to get to love him. anyway, it’s very nice to meet you.”

  She scoots back to me and tucks herself under my arm. I cup her cheek and smile. “I love you so much.” I kiss her like the ship is going down and I feel another part of myself become hers.

  PERRIE

  Thom kisses me like he is trying to memorize every inch of my body.

  My body shivers at every touch, familiarizing itself with every kiss, every lave of his tongue.

  He takes his time; his lips go across my collarbone, down my sternum, and across my naval. He has already stripped me of my clothes, and the cold air is hitting me but doing nothing to cool my body down. If anything, I am steaming.

  My fingers are seared in his hair as he teases the flesh of my inner thighs. My breath catches and releases with whimpers slash small moans of want. My clit is a throbbing control center, begging to be used. I press my hips toward his mouth, but he only moves over to my right leg. The pads of his fingers run over my left nipple, tugging until it is a hard nub, and then moving to the other.