The Book of the Heart

by Carrie Asai

  After about twenty angry knocks with her fist, a tousle-headed, sleepy-looking guy in boxers and a T-shirt hung in the doorway. “What?” he said.

  “Good, you’re up,” Melissa said. “We need access to the sub.”

  Andy groaned. “God, why?” he said. Then he glanced at us: me with the box of cereal and peanut butter, Hiro with the jug of water. He rolled his eyes. “You know the sub isn’t leaving for about six hours.”

  “I know,” Melissa said. “But these two need to disappear. Now.”

  He shut the door briefly. Hiro squeezed my hand. I could hear Andy bumping around in his room, opening and shutting drawers. In about two minutes he emerged, dressed in a T-shirt that said Annapolis and frayed camouflage cargo pants.

  “Let’s go,” he said, brushing by us. Hiro nudged me forward.

  Andy led us out the side door, around to the back of the building, through brushy grass to a dirt path, and through a bunch of bushes and dunes. We climbed over the hills, our shoes sinking into the sand. This seemed to take forever. The jumbo jar of peanut butter weighed a million pounds. The diamond necklace in my bag kept slapping against my thigh; I was sure I’d have a bruise. Then we climbed the largest dune and suddenly there was a clearing. My legs ached; I leaned over to stretch. We all peeked out from the trees and saw, over the hill, a pavilion of more brown, squat buildings. And beyond that a long, wide concrete dock. Beyond that the Sea of Japan, gray and choppy.

  I could see the sub. The top of it poked through the water. It was oily and black and looked like a giant torpedo.

  I shivered. It looked like a mirage.

  “We gotta get around those guards,” Andy said in a low voice, pointing at what looked like a guard shack at the end of the dock. “Melissa, you have to distract them. I’ll get these two on and show them where to go.”

  “Is this a regular operation for you two?” I said, half joking.

  Everyone ignored me. I shivered again.

  Melissa turned to Hiro. “So this might be the last time I see you,” she said. “Andy’s gonna get you on the sub if everything goes as planned. I won’t be able to get on board to say good-bye.”

  “Well…,” Hiro said, grasping for words. “I don’t know how to thank you….”

  “What will happen if we’re detected?” I interrupted. The wind blew through my T-shirt. I wished I’d worn something a little more substantial.

  “Worst-case scenario, you’ll be shot,” Melissa said blandly, her eyes still on Hiro. “Which is why you have to follow Andy’s every instruction.” She glanced at me, her eyes narrowed, as if she was certain I was going to screw up. I squared my shoulders and tensed. I was glad we were getting away from Melissa. If we hadn’t been leaving right this minute, I might have had to kick her ass for good measure.

  Melissa turned to Hiro. “So,” she said, wiping her hands on her pants, brushing the hair out of her face. “It sucks that we only got to see each other for a couple of minutes.”

  “Yeah,” Hiro said. “It would’ve been better if we’d caught up on…less dangerous terms.”

  “Oh, well,” Melissa said, turning her gruff voice into a syrupy-sweet, flirtatious one. “Hopefully some other time…soon…”

  And then in one big burst of momentum she wrapped herself around Hiro. She buried her head in his neck, almost as if she were crying. But to my shock she lifted her head, glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, and kissed him on the lips. Long and hard. Openmouthed.

  I backed up.

  “Will you be all right?” Hiro said, pulling away slightly, seeming a little shaken from the kiss.

  Melissa stood back. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

  “Well, thank you,” Hiro said. “I really owe you one.”

  “Yes, thank you,” I said, the words coming out garbled and unintelligible.

  “If you change your mind,” Melissa said, “call me. We can get you back on the base, I think.”

  She was clearly saying this only to Hiro.

  And then she quickly turned and dashed down the hill, her heels lifted high. She slowed and walked over to the guard booth, which looked quite a lot like the one at the entrance to the base. I squinted. There were three guards, all sitting down. They wore high black boots and machine guns on their backs. At the top of one of the higher buildings was a spinning satellite, blinking angrily. But aside from this activity, the place was deserted and weird. It felt like what a beach must have been like right before some massive World War II battle. Quiet, but eerie. It didn’t feel peaceful in the least.

  The wind whipped through me. Hiro reached for my hand, but I pulled it away, thinking of Melissa kissing him on the mouth. It gave me a sour feeling in my stomach.

  Andy squinted at the group of guards. Melissa had approached them. Now they were talking.

  “Okay, we’re going to run down this hill quickly,” he growled to us. “Follow me. Stay down. Like she said, if they see us, they might shoot at us. So keep low.

  “Then we’ll have to wade under the dock for part of the way. Right until we get to the base of the sub. Then we’ll climb up to the hatch and go in. You got that?”

  I nodded, frozen, and took a deep breath. Beside me, Hiro was also readying himself.

  And then in a dizzying instant we dashed down the dune, staying low to the ground. My feet sank farther and farther into the sand. We reached the water’s edge and plunged in. I held my bag and the cereal above my head so they wouldn’t get wet.

  The water was murky and cold, but at least the waves weren’t big. We waded out to the sub, Andy looking behind at us angrily. “Faster!” he said.

  We reached the base of the sub and climbed up the ladder to the hatch. Andy opened the hatch—a huge metal door—and waved us both in. “Come on, come on, dammit!” he said, quiet so his voice wouldn’t be picked up in the wind. “You’re too slow!”

  “Oof,” I muttered, somehow stubbing my toe as I climbed down the ladder, which was slippery to hold. This was all happening too quickly. I glanced for an instant at the shoreline. Melissa was still talking to the guards. She had their backs to the ocean. No one had seen us. The dunes rose in back of them, pale and silent.

  “Get down!” Andy said.

  As soon as I stepped off the ladder, I realized we were in a cylindrical shaft. The lights were fluorescent and unattractive. There was a blank TV screen and what looked like a CB radio. There was also a regular-looking radio, but it wasn’t switched on. I didn’t smell the ocean. I could only smell something like Clorox. The little room was spotless.

  Andy bent down and started twisting a huge dial on the floor to the left. He used all of his strength to push it, then began to pull straight up. Hiro tried to help, but Andy shooed him away. Finally the dial and the floor lifted up. It was another hatch. Once the door was open, I peered down below. Another ladder.

  “Come on,” he said. He started to climb down.

  Hiro and I carefully made our way down. To my right and left were huge hoselike contraptions, dials, pulleys, pipes.

  I hit the floor and turned. There was a long hallway of wooden doors. Andy was quickly walking away from us. We wound around more corridors of ropes, hoses, ladders (there must have been an upper deck), and pulleys until we came into a wider space, with lots of padded tables. I looked left. There were ovens, what looked like a griddle, and big chrome refrigerators.

  “Mess deck,” Andy said, slapping one of the tables. “Not that you’ll be eating here or anything.”

  I spied a loaf of bread, all wrapped up, sitting on the counter. Peanut butter would taste better with bread. But I felt like if I made one false move, Andy would come over and strangle me.

  Again we sped through another corridor. Strange noises creaked from somewhere in the sub. I glanced back at Hiro. In the fluorescent light he looked uncomfortable. I wondered if he was thinking about Melissa. Was she still talking to the guards?

  We passed a bunch of small wooden doors. “The crew berths,” Andy said
dryly. “We’re almost there.” He walked up to the end door on the corridor, next to a hatch that said, DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT CLEARANCE. Rifling through his pocket, he brought out a set of keys and unlocked the room.

  “Here,” he grunted. He shoved open the door, and there was our room.

  I looked at Hiro. There seemed to be something off about him. Was this a bad idea? I felt butterflies in my stomach.

  Andy stood at the door, beckoning us to go through. “Come on,” he said, irritated. “In you go.”

  So we stepped inside.

  I remember every minute of the two dates Hiro and I had back in L.A. I recorded them in my journal to make sure I wouldn’t forget. To me, we just felt so right together. So perfect. And I knew in my heart that Hiro someday would realize it, too. I just had to wait for him.

  And now he calls at about 5 A.M., and I still think I’m dreaming, but then I’m driving to meet him, and there he is….

  That kiss we shared. God…

  But then there’s this girl with him. This ragtag, pouty girl who looks like she’s been crying, who’s scared shitless. Who knows where he found her! I know all about Hiro. Not that he ever told me much about himself, but I know the kind of world he comes from. I had an idea when I was in L.A., but when I came to Japan, I heard a lot of underground whisperings about Hiro’s family and the kind of stuff he’s connected to.

  But still. Girl or no girl. She probably won’t last long with him. He’ll realize soon that he should be back with me. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m hoping something goes wrong on the sub. It’s amazing they even got on safely. I practically had to take my top off to distract those guards. After Andy came back, we slunk away quickly. It’s awkward between us now, but luckily he has no idea that Hiro is the person I still have feelings for. Then I tracked down Mark, who is going to be the sub’s cook. I found him in the gym, doing bicep curls on a bench. We’ve fooled around a little, me and Mark. I know I can trust him.

  “Listen,” I said in a low voice. “There’s a boy who’s stowing away on the sub. Now, if nothing happens, you don’t know anything about him. He’s going to stay out of sight. But if something does happen and you guys need to evacuate, I want you to make sure he gets out okay.”

  Mark nodded. “But I don’t know anything else about it,” he said. “If I hear him, I’m reporting it.”

  “Fine,” I said. “Just help me out if something happens to the sub.”

  Mark agreed.

  “He’s the only person I know will be stowing away,” I said. “You don’t need to be responsible for anyone else who’s on board.”

  “Is there someone else?” Mark asked, eyebrows raised.

  “No,” I said. “Not that I know of. Just him.”

  Someday Hiro will realize I’m the only girl for him. He’ll come back.

  I should probably be worried about that jackass Kyle from the front gate coming back and looking for Hiro and that Heaven girl. But they’ve probably already forgotten about it. They’ve switched shifts by now anyway. It’s not like we wrote their names in the book or anything. Besides, I’m outta here soon. They’re gonna be sending us off to the demilitarized zone up on the North Korea–South Korea border. I should be worried about staying alive. But now, with the image and smell of Hiro fresh in my mind, I have something to live for.

  The phone rings and scares me out of my mind. Could it be the gate, wondering where those two are? I pick up.

  There’s heavy breathing on the other end. Sounds far away. Traffic noises are in the background.

  “Hello?” I say.

  “I hear you had some visitors,” the caller says. It’s a guy. The voice sounds absolutely possessed. Could this be someone playing a joke on me?

  “Ha, very funny,” I say.

  “There’s nothing funny about it,” the voice continues.

  I feel a chill that cools me right down to the soles of my feet.

  “Tell me where they’ve gone, or torture awaits you,” the voice says calmly. “Torture beyond your wildest dreams. Think military torture is bad? Think POW torture is bad? This is ten million times worse.”

  I bite my lip. How can this be possible? I quiver, ready to hang up. But the voice speaks again.

  “We can see you right now,” the voice says. “We know where you are.”

  I believe them. I can’t speak.

  Finally I swallow hard and close my eyes. “San Diego,” I say.

  “Good girl,” the voice says. Then I hear a dial tone.

  I sit on my bed. My whole body shakes. Then I realize. The voice I heard on the other end—it wasn’t a man’s, as I’d first thought. It was a woman’s. And it was the scariest voice I’d ever heard.

  Melissa

  7

  Andy explained that the sub wouldn’t be fully occupied; otherwise this bunk room would have been reserved for the crew. “This is, however, the smallest bunk room,” he explained. “The others are slightly larger. But you guys are damn lucky you’ve even got that. I don’t know where else we would’ve put you.”

  I looked around. It was a fluorescent-lit box that was about as big as the inside of a Mini Cooper. The walls were painted a weird sea foam green, and everything—the chrome of the beds, the blue curtains, the wood panels, the cement floors—was absolutely spotless.

  “The problem is that this room is right next to the other crew quarters,” Andy said. “Those doors we passed? All crew bunks. Therefore, you have to lock this from the inside and keep the lights off. If you turn them on, they’ll wonder what’s up and unlock this from the outside. But if you keep quiet—and I mean quiet—I think you should be okay. It’s only a four-day run.”

  He snapped the lights off. We fell into darkness. I could hear everyone’s breathing, it was so quiet. “You’re going to have to get used to the light like this. Either of you got a penlight?”

  “I do,” Hiro said. I heard him rustling around in his pockets.

  “You can use that. But nothing else.”

  “What about a bathroom?” I asked.

  Andy snickered. “Well, I’m gonna have to get you a bucket, I think. This isn’t the Hilton. There aren’t bathrooms in every room.”

  He swung his arm to the left. “The head’s over there. That’s the communal bathroom for the crew. Got sinks and showers and toilets and stuff. But you guys need to stay out of sight. So…try not to eat or drink too much.” He seemed to be enjoying this.

  “I’ll go get that bucket,” he said. He disappeared down the corridor.

  I shuddered. “How kind of him,” I said. I looked at Hiro. “There’s no bathroom. Or sink.”

  Hiro shrugged. “I don’t know what else we can do….”

  “We’re gonna be on this thing for how many days?” I sat on the bottom bunk. I knew that I’d been in worse situations than this, but the idea of being without a bathroom seemed just…disgusting.

  “Maybe I’ll be able to sneak to the head and change the water,” Hiro suggested.

  “Hmph,” I said. I wondered if I would’ve been better off on my own, back in Tokyo. This whole thing was getting worse by the second. One false move and we were dead. One tiny noise and they’d probably make us walk the plank.

  Andy returned with a bucket and a small jug of water. “You’ll have to make do with this,” he said. Hiro grunted in thanks.

  “What’s that humming?” I said, pricking up my ears.

  “You’re right next to the torpedo room,” Andy said blandly.

  “The what?”

  Andy crossed his arms, suddenly impatient. “I can’t stand here and explain all of this to you,” he said. “I’ve got to get out before all of us get killed. Just remember: Stay quiet, don’t turn on any lights, and someone will come and get you in California when we’ve docked.”

  “What if there’s an emergency? Like a collision or something? And people have to evacuate?” Hiro asked.

  Andy looked at us and shrugged. “Tough shit,” he said.

  T
hen, without a good-bye, he left.

  I flopped down on the bed. Above me Hiro tried to squeeze into his bunk.

  “It’ll be okay,” he said. I could see, dimly, that he was really squashed in there, his legs bent at an unnatural angle. “I need to be more flexible anyway.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Such a martyr,” I said. I was tense. This was creepy. We were next to a torpedo room? What if one of them detonated?

  It was also super-cold in here. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. Andy had explained on the way down that the sub would be cold because it was powered by diesel fuel, but the fuel was much more critical for actually moving the sub toward its destination. Using the fuel for heat would be a waste.

  Looking at my bunk—which was exactly the same size as Hiro’s, just on the bottom—I started to panic. This ship should be renamed U.S.S. Claustrophobia. There were no windows, we’d be thousands of feet underwater, and although it was just a routine mission—going back to San Diego in order to switch crews—there could still be high seas danger.

  They could find us. We were right next to the crew. All they had to do was come and unlock this door….

  I tried to lie down. The only way my legs would go straight was if I stuck them out the door. The pillow felt like a chunk of lead.

  Titanic, this was not. The Love Boat, a definite no.

  Later we heard all the crew members stomp on, clattering through their doors, bumping the walls, shouting at one another. I held my breath. They were walking right outside our door.

  “No one is in this one?” a voice called. Then there was a knock on our door.

  “Nope. Don’t need it this time.”

  “Damn! Can I have my own room?”

  I breathed in sharply.

  “Very funny, McGuirk.”

  The two guys laughed and drifted away.

  I settled back into my bed. The gloom of the situation folded around me like a heavy fog. We would have to spend days in the muggy darkness, listening to people around us, with nothing to do. Fearing every moment that they might unlatch this door and find us.