“Grim,” I said sharply. “Why would you say that?” But it was too late. He was already gone.
I stood alone in a beautiful room. I clamped my hands together and whispered, “You misunderstood me.”
I didn’t see him as a monster like I had called him before. I did at first but not anymore. He had every reason to think I didn’t care for him. I never showed him otherwise and it was something I was only realizing myself. I didn’t see him as a scary glowing skeleton anymore.
I saw him as my haven. My rescuer. My protector. But the most important one was that I saw him as Killian—just as when I saw Killian, I saw Grim.
Three more days until they were one again.
What happened if it didn’t work?
That made me afraid. Very, very afraid.
Chapter Twelve
The butler returned shortly after to lead me to dinner. I changed into one of the many dresses spilling out of the trunk. I chose a pretty light blue one. It was snug around my upper body and flared out starting at my hips down to my knees. Shimmers of glitter bounced off the dress as I walked underneath the chandeliers in the ballroom.
He took us through the double doors in between the stairways—the doors were also underneath the balcony of the second floor—and into the dining room. It was spacious and beautiful. This room was vibrant, full of color compared to all the rooms I had seen so far. A white, round table awaited me with a candle lit in the middle. A single chair was placed by the table.
“Is Grim not joining me?” I asked, turning on my heels to look at the butler.
“No, I’m afraid not. He said to enjoy your meal.” He went to the chair and pulled it out for me. Once I was seated, he opened the tray in front of me. There was a moment of terror that washed over me when I remembered dining with Fear, and I fully expected the hand to come crawling toward me as he opened it. But that panic eased when he revealed a salad instead of my nightmare. I sighed, feeling a bit silly that Fear still had control over me—my life. “This may seem odd, but when you bring the meals out in the future…can you please not put any lids on them?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
I ate the salad in silence with the butler standing by my side. When I was finished, he walked away and came back with another plate—no lid. It was steak and a baked potato. Thankfully, everything was normal and the food was delicious.
I was in a fairy-tale-like castle with beautiful dresses and a huge library, but it was all temporary. My life was a mess, that I knew but the idea that right now, I might even have the prince to go with it all seemed oddly tempting. Only he was broken. One-half of him thought I wanted nothing to do with him and the other… couldn’t control his nature.
What was I going to do?
_______
I spent the rest of the evening and late into the night skimming through the books in the library. There were so many, it was hard to choose something to read. A purplish book finally caught my eye called ‘Monster’s Seed’. Yeah, I knew I probably shouldn’t have read something with a title like that but curiosity got the best of me.
It was about a human woman falling in love with a demon and it was very… detailed about their love making, and I will only say that the demon used his tail for all sorts of things. I couldn’t stop reading it and ended up finishing it all in one sitting. It was a simple love story… they met, fell in love, had a child, but it was all forbidden. So, the two were torn apart and the baby was taken from the woman to the Underworld.
It was sad and now that I finished it, I regretted even reading it. Still… the tail had me wondering. The butler had a tail but it was furry and not at all like the one described in the book. Fear’s long tail flashed through my mind, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I could only imagine the things he would do with his.
Now I regretted reading the book. Anything that made me think of that monster wasn’t worth reading.
I fell asleep at some point. I saw Ryan in my dreams. He was smiling and that made me happy. He was playing football and laughing with the other players then out of nowhere, the scenery changed. Ryan lay lifeless on the road. It was a familiar place to me, a road I traveled every day. I was standing over him, his blood coating my fingers. Panic gripped my chest, but I couldn’t do anything. The charred demon appeared beside him.
He smiled at me. Not a smile you would ever want to see. It was the kind that gave a person nightmares. It was laced with something evil, wicked—like a disease. He bent down at Ryan’s feet and started dragging him away from me. Just as I reached out for him, I woke up gasping for air, desperation crawling through me to get air in my lungs. My hand was extended out above me like I had been doing in the dream.
I raised up and the book that rested at my side fell off the bed. I wiped the dampness from my forehead and tried to understand the way I was feeling. What was that dream? Ryan was probably worried sick about me, and maybe that was why he was creeping into my dreams since I wouldn’t let him in my thoughts when I was awake.
Still... it was a weird feeling. Like something bad might have happened or a premonition. Ryan was a ghost; I didn’t think he would be in danger… I just had to make sure. I scooted out of bed and ran barefoot to the door wearing a small pink nightgown. The door automatically started opening for me and as soon as it did, I started staggering. I reached for the closest thing which was the door and leaned against it.
An enticing scent filled the entire castle warping all my senses, even my ability to walk. The scent felt like a tight cocoon wrapping around my body. All I could think about was the ache pressed between my thighs and it didn’t help that I now had shaky legs. Sex was all I could think about and I knew it had to be Killian. His incubus seduction was freaking out of control!
I wasn’t directing my body anywhere—I could hardly move—but it seemed to know where it wanted to be. At this point, I knew I was trying to get to Killian but when my hands left the doorway, I crumbled to my knees in a mess. I panted—I was on fire. I closed my eyes. I felt exhausted, depleted, yet turned on at the same time.
I felt the cool touch of Grim’s boned fingers lifting me up in his arms. My body went completely slack as he cradled me in his arms. With his touch, I could escape the insanity of the castle. Slowly, the lust fog began to evaporate from my body as well as my mind.
“This is why I sealed your room off from the castle. He can’t control himself anymore, his body knows what it needs and is determined to get it to survive. Even though your room is sealed, he stills knows you’re here… so he’s seeking you out.” I took a deep breath against his chest. I heard moans coming from somewhere in the castle and looked up to Grim in wonder. “It’s affecting everyone in the castle. It should pass through the night,” he told me. Just how many demons were here?
“What about you?” I asked.
“I’m no demon, human, or man. I exist for one reason, Melanie. I am Death, such desires do not become me.” That sounded so lonely. And sad.
But I got the feeling that wasn’t all true. “Oh? I find that strange. If you had no desire for intimacy, then why did you merge with an incubus demon? You could have chosen any demon, right?” His essence lightened around him and I smirked. I thought right, I believed.
“You’re right, I do have desires. Would it make you happy to know how much I longed for the touch of a woman? The idea of them thrilled me when it shouldn’t have. I’m an entity, I wasn’t made for any sort of desire, just a purpose, but I developed feelings over time.” I bunched his shirt up in my hand as he spoke. He was sharing something of his past with me. It excited me and made me nervous. “But that wasn’t why I merged with Killian. I was pulled toward him. I felt him one day and knew he was me. It wouldn’t make sense to you, only Killian and I, we just got that feeling and knew. We were meant to be one,” he sighed. “Not even Heaven understood.”
“Actually, the two of you apart doesn’t make sense to me so I think I do understand,” I admitted. “And, I don’t think your purpose
is a bad one. You showed me what it is you do; I think it’s beautiful. The fact that there’s something beautiful in death is amazing. And the fact that you rid the world of the bad guys is—” I shut up, realizing I sounded too desperate to make him feel good about what he was.
His eyeless gaze stayed locked with mine for the longest time. “Did I ever say I disliked what I was?” There was a hint of amusement in his strong voice.
I blushed—still in his arms—and looked the other way. “I didn’t say that you disliked it.” I puffed my cheeks out.
“Did you need something?” he asked softly. This should be weird that we were having an entire conversation while I was in his arms but it wasn’t. I still nudged myself out of his arms, though for what I was about to ask him. He placed me on my feet and when his touch left mine, the scent of Killian came back. I swayed and Grim reached out to grab my shoulder. “Either we go to your room or your stuck with me touching you. That’s the only way I can keep you from experiencing the effects.”
“I don’t mind,” I said quickly. There was a hesitant nod on his part but I told myself that was fine. I would one day prove to him that he didn’t scare me anymore. That I wasn’t afraid of him. That I cared for him as I did Killian.
“It’s about Ryan. I just got a strange feeling, and I need to go home to check on him.”
“He’s not there.” My stomach churned.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t sense him anymore. Well, I do occasionally. His light keeps flickering in and out of the human world when I search for him.”
“Grim, I don’t know what that means.” I gave him a look of horror and frustration mixed.
“He might be possessing someone’s body. A lot of ghosts do it in order to hide from me. I can’t sense their presence that way,” he added, but still couldn’t shake the bad feeling I got when I thought of Ryan.
“Can they really do that?” He nodded, placing all his weight on his right side. “I just can’t see Ryan doing that.” I shook my head. There was no way.
“Melanie, I wouldn’t worry. Fear can’t take a ghost to the Underworld unless they want to go or he marked them while they were alive.” The missing puzzle piece finally came together. I couldn’t escape what grew at the pit of my stomach—nausea and fear. My head to spun with the horrid truth.
“No,” I whispered, the word kept falling from my mouth until Grim tightened his hand that was on my shoulder and I looked up to him. I could feel his concern but it also revealed itself through the change of his essence.
“Melanie.” I knew he was waiting on me to tell him what I realized, but I was ashamed. Ashamed that he had the mark as long as I have, and I never once thought to worry about his life. Why did Ryan encounter someone like me?
“The day Fear marked me… Ryan was the one that found me afterwards. While the mark was still imprinting itself onto my skin, he touched it and somehow it transferred onto his hand.” Grim’s essence darkened and I knew it probably wasn’t a good sign. “He died because of me… How much more will he go through because of me?”
My nerves were tearing me to pieces. “I just need to figure out what has happened,” he told me.
“I can’t even imagine what might have happened to him or what he could be going through.” I started to panic, and Grim placed his other hand on my shoulder trying to reassure me. “Not only is he dead, he may be experiencing something far worse because of me.” I could hear the fear in my voice. “I didn’t even think to remember Ryan had the mark this entire time as well! Now he already belongs to Fear, doesn’t he?”
“His soul belongs to Fear if he has his mark.” I was stunned, caught off guard by his honesty. I already knew that, but Grim was Grim. He was powerful… surely he knew a way we could save him.
“There has to be a way we can save him. You’re powerful and know a lot… isn’t there some way?”
“Melanie, stop…”
“Grim, there has to be a way!”
“Enough! Melanie.” His voice echoed the ballroom. It was frightening and reminded me of all the times I was afraid of him before. I took a step back. I wasn’t afraid of him now, just overwhelmed with panic and guilt—not just because of Ryan but Grim. The fact that I was begging for his help to save Ryan when I had decided to show him how I really felt. “There’s nothing that I can do to save him. The mark is law in the Underworld, it’s binding.”
“No…”
“Why do you think they sent me to protect you? To keep you safe and alive? Because the moment you die, you belong to Fear. It’s permanent after death. Dying is what seals the deal, Melanie. The same applied for Ryan.”
“Grim,” I whispered softly tugging at his cloak. The tears started to fall down my cheeks. “Don’t say that, please!” I cried. “I can’t stand it. Don’t tell me that I killed him and sent him to an eternity trapped in a nightmare at the hands of Fear! Don’t tell me that this is what he gets for being my best friend!”
He pushed my hands away from him but kept a hand over my shoulder despite his growing dark essence. “Didn’t I warn you to keep a distance from your friends? Their life was clouded in darkness and hard to read when you were around them. Especially Ryan’s.” His words were harsh. “But I don’t think it would have made a difference for Ryan or not. His fate was already sealed the day he met you.” His words cut me like a knife. I couldn’t handle it. I thought he would be my comfort, not the thing that made me feel worse.
“I didn’t ask the Vessel to be inside me.” I fisted my hands until my nails were digging into my palms. “I didn’t want this kind of life or to put everyone I loved in danger.” The reality came crashing down over me. I couldn’t play pretend in this dark enchanted place. It wasn’t real. The sad truth of my pathetic life was nothing but fear and death. “This stupid power.” I brought my fist against my chest where the X was exposed because of the tiny nightgown. “Just take the Vessel from me. Go on and take it or whatever—I don’t care! So, I can be done with it. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” I even brought his hand to my chest, I was so serious. He went rigid, but I didn’t care.
I continued in anger, “Do whatever you have to. I want it gone. I’ll give it to you. Whatever. Just let me live out my miserable life until it’s time to die and belong to Fear. At least I can make it right with Ryan that way. I’ll make sure he doesn’t suffer alone.”
“Quiet!” His voice was like thunder inside the castle. Every noise in the castle died out, including the random lovemaking that was still going on somewhere in the castle. I stood there trying to collect my thoughts, but that was impossible. I was broken—shattered. “You’re driving my patience for the last time, human.” The word was spoken the same way Killian spat it out when we first met. With hatred. I hated how easily it hurt me. I hated how easily I fell for Killian. I hated myself for thinking I could love something that wasn’t covered in flesh! “The Vessel has already awakened inside you.”
“So it’s back to calling me human again?” I glared, and I sensed that he was equally frustrated. If the mass of black starting to swarm him was any indication. It was a bit scary.
No need to be afraid of him.
The voice told me and I always listened to it. I stood straight. “I saw you use it more than once. I was waiting on you to bring it up, yet you haven’t.” He sounded upset.
I always meant to tell one of them, but always got sidetracked by something else. I shook my head. “I meant to tell you, but I keep forgetting with everything else going on.”
“You’re saying you forgot how you broke someone’s ankle?” I didn’t like his accusing tone, but I still managed to feel ashamed when he brought up what I had done to Haley.
“You were watching?” I asked, voice dripping with venom. And he hadn’t mentioned it either.
“It’s my job,” he said equally angry.
“I wasn’t sure if I was the one that caused her heel to break.”
“Then why do you look gu
ilty?” He knew exactly how to press my buttons. “But the Vessel is already a part of you. And with every time you’ve used it, even more so.”
“I don’t understand.” I just wanted to curl up and hide from all my troubles but there was no point. I would drive myself mad thinking of them. “When are you even going to tell me what the Vessel is?
“You do understand or you wouldn’t be here with me now. You were born with the Vessel, how or why will never matter because you are stuck with it and my job is to keep it from Fear so that he doesn’t gain any more power. And I have told you what the Vessel is: a weapon. An untapped power that every demon would want to get a hold of, but that will never happen now that the Vessel has taken with you.”
“You finally dropped the good Grim act, have ya’?” I yanked his hand from my shoulder and stepped back.
His hand shot right back out. “Careful—be mad all you want, but my hand stays in place or you’ll be putty on the floor,” he said with a hint of mockery and darn it, my pale cheeks turned rosy. It sucked when you wanted to throw a fit and run away but couldn’t or you would turn into a hot mess looking for the other half of this pain in the neck.
Sigh.
“I don’t know what I was expecting when I thought we could be friends—or whatever, obviously, we are really different. Go ahead then, protect me or whatever. Let’s see if I make it easy. I’ll find a way to get back and find Ryan—”
“Just do it, Grim.” I looked up to see a pale nightmare gazing down at me. It was Killian and he looked horrible and worn down, but there was still a hint of something dangerous tugging at the tip of his smile as he nodded toward Grim. Grim’s chest vibrated with a chuckle and that sent every alarm off in my head. My nerve endings were bouncing all over my skin telling me I should be worried.
“What…” His hand swept over my forehead, and I knew all too well what this familiar sensation was. He was making me sleep. I felt my anger reach a boiling point before it was cut short.
'Til Grim's Light (A Grim Awakening Book 2) Page 13