Love Me Like You Do

by Sasha Clinton

  “Didn’t get you!” Bella called out.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  Reverently running her hands down the white satin, Bella fluttered her lashes at the dress. “Well, what do you think of the dress?”

  “It...it looks like a wedding dress.”

  “It looks like a wedding dress?” Bella cried, emotional. “It is a wedding dress.”

  Men. They had no eye for beauty.

  Flustered, Jamie reacted. “It’s white and sparkly and...I...I still can’t get over the fact that you already booked a wedding venue when you don’t even have a boyfriend.”

  “Venues go quickly,” Bella informed. “It’s impossible to get one unless you book a year in advance. The market for wedding ballrooms is more competitive than the market for real estate in Manhattan.”

  “I wouldn’t know,” Jamie scoffed. “I’ve never done something crazy like booking a ballroom when I have no one to marry.”

  “I’m not crazy!” Temper flared. How dare he call her crazy?

  She wasn’t crazy. She was...prepared.

  Moving towards him angrily, she tripped on the train of her gown...and landed on his lap with a thud, her mouth right on...well...his crotch.

  “Ah.” Her cheek rested there for a total of five seconds, before every cell in her body ignited and she remembered that there was something called sex in this world.

  And she hadn’t been having a whole lot of that recently.

  And she’d really like some. Like, right this moment. With him.

  Tossing her head up, she caught him blush.

  “Are you...um...okay?”

  Without letting it get awkward, Bella steadied herself on her feet. A sorry would make this even more awkward, so she brushed her pajamas off, like it was no big deal and she was so not lusting after him.

  “It’s no big deal.” He was talking to himself in a trance.

  Arousal sat just behind his eyes, swelling when his gaze met hers. All further conversation between them disappeared. Sparks crackled. Voices from outside the door drifted into the space created by their silence, drumming in an urgency to act.

  Jamie’s Adam’s apple strained against his throat. Hers bobbed up, too, when she swallowed. Static played between them, inviting them closer.

  She leaned into his face, testing the waters. He did, too, until their lips were a hair’s breath from meeting.

  If this was a movie, this night would end in a passionate kiss and a happily ever after.

  But it wasn’t. This was cold, hard reality, which had a way of disappointing.

  So when she moved her tongue to his lower lip, Jamie pulled away, looking repulsed. Shocked.

  She blinked. “Is something wrong?”

  “I don’t want to kiss you,” he declared, poker-faced.

  Her hands flew up to touch her face.

  Had she dreamt up his attraction?

  “Uh…well.”

  Despite the easy shrug she gave, his rejection felt like a slap to her face. A sharp, painful slap. Clenching her fists, she swore not to get emotional.

  “Look at the time. I should get going.” Drawing to his feet clumsily, Jamie angled his head at the door.

  “Mmmm.”

  Repressing her disappointment, she knelt on the floor until her insecurity started slaying her.

  It was okay if he didn’t want her. She would meet someone soon who would...and yes, there was a man like that. She had to believe that.

  “Thanks for showing me your wedding gown.” Jamie’s sentences flew past her ears.

  Look at him. He’s pitying you. He thinks you’re a freak.

  “Mmmm.”

  Before leaving, he shot her a backward glance and a restrained smile. “Learn your lines for episode three, okay?”

  “Jamie?” She held his gaze, searching his blue eyes for anything that would tell her that if she pushed a little, he would kiss her. Because she wanted to kiss him. Badly.

  “Yeah?” His jaw was artificially tight.

  “Will you...” Diffidence choked her voice. What was she thinking? She couldn’t ask him to kiss her. That would be beyond desperate. “Nothing. Bye.”

  “Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He sidled through the door, leaving her disappointed.

  Chapter 6

  When Bella showed up for work the next day, she was clearly upset. Red lines bulged against the whites of her eyes as she jetted past him.

  She must’ve cried last night.

  He’d expected her to. Better for her to cry now than later when she realized he wasn’t going to put a ring on her finger.

  Suddenly pulling out of that kiss hadn’t been his plan, but when he’d seen all the matrimonial hopes twinkling in her eyes, apprehension had paralyzed him. She was expecting forever. A soulmate. A doctor with blue eyes. The stable, settling down type.

  He wasn’t any of that. He wasn’t going to be any of that.

  “Hey,” Jamie tried, hoping they could go back to the way they’d been, but she pretended not to hear.

  She got through the rehearsals perfunctorily, ignoring him throughout, except when he was giving her instructions. The rehearsals dragged well into the evening, because they had to rewrite so many scenes.

  At the end of it, he found himself back in the writers’ room alone, having to change the next episode because of all the stuff they’d rewritten in this one. Opening up his laptop, he’d only made the first correction when the door swung open.

  “Shawna, can you get me a—” He realized it wasn’t Shawna who’d come in. It was Bella.

  “Scarlet wanted me to give you this.” She threw down a piece of paper.

  “Thanks.”

  She’d changed out of her costume and her hair was in a ponytail. Some exotic fragrance hung around her body, probably a perfume, though he’d never smelt perfume on her before. She was tapping her feet restlessly.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Why wouldn’t it be?” she retorted.

  “Listen, about last night...I didn’t expect we’d go down that path. I really had no intention of kissing you...” He fingered his mussed up hair. “But I guess stuff happened and...anyway, I’m sorry if I led you on. Can we forget about it?”

  Her upper lip trembled. She filled her lungs with a large gulp of air, fighting anger. Or tears. He couldn’t tell which one it was.

  “It’s okay. I don’t need a pity kiss from anyone.” Her voice quaked with barely suppressed fury.

  “It wasn’t a pity kiss,” Jamie protested. Pity had been the last thing on his mind when he’d touched his lips to hers. “There was no kiss.”

  “Yeah, right. Thanks for reminding me.” She passed him a blatantly hostile stare.

  Now that the kiss was dealt with, he could move on to other things. “I don’t know if Scarlet’s told you about this, but we’re planning to a party after we’re done with episode six. It’d be great if you could join us.”

  “I can’t make it. I have to write papers. This is not my full-time job.” Bella gravitated towards the colorful post-its on the wall. “Episode 3. Lucy at the principal’s office. What are these?”

  “Beats of the story. We break down every episode into beats, which are two or three lines summing up every scene in the episode. It helps us flesh out ideas.” Going up behind her, he inhaled a lungful of that exotic scent. Jasmine.

  She tugged at the letters sticking underneath the episode numbers. “What are the A, B, and C for?”

  “Story A, story B, story C. Story A’s the main plot of the episode. B and C are sub-plots. Your scene with the principal in the last episode was a sub-plot. C.” His finger smoothed over the post-it that had that piece of information.

  “I didn’t realize writing a TV show was so complicated. I figured you just sit down at your computer, inspiration hits and the words magically appear on screen.”

  Jamie snickered. “How I wish it could be that easy. Would take all the stress outta m
y life. The staff writers, Daniel, and I spend hours trying to come up with original plot lines and snappy one-liners. It all looks easy-breezy when you read the script, but it’s not.”

  Her nail circled the writings on a square piece of pink paper. “Am I going to fall in love with someone in episode 7?”

  “That was the idea, but we scrapped it. Wouldn’t work with the character.”

  A sharp “shhhh” sliced though the air. “So I can’t even fall in love in a TV show?”

  “That’s not....” He’d known she would overreact. She was still sensitive from last night. “The timing isn’t right. Lucy already has her hands full with her financial woes. Maybe if you come back for season 2, I can work that into the plot...”

  Better get a head start on convincing her. He needed her for season 2, since Martina was never coming back.

  “When’ll you shoot season 2?” Bella asked.

  “Same time next year.”

  Clamping her lips, Bella shook her head. “It’ll be too late by then. I’ll already be over thirty-five.”

  “You’ll still be twenty-eight on the show,” Jamie reminded. “You’ll be twenty-eight on the show forever.”

  An unsure smile formed on her mouth.

  He pulled out a pen from his pocket and started scribbling on the post-it. “So, for Lucy...what kind of love interest should we make up?”

  Bella shifted her mouth to an O. It looked like she’d planned to say something

  Jamie clicked his fingers. “How about a nice, general practitioner? And just so he’s perfect, let’s make sure he has a house on the Upper East Side and a master’s degree.”

  She gave him a kick in his knees. “Shut up.”

  Then they were back to being on good terms again.

  *

  There were very few things in the world Bella would ever miss her hairdresser’s appointment for. Visiting Gracie Mansion to get a personal tour from the mayor was one.

  Although Alex, Kat’s boyfriend, had been mayor for three years now, she’d never had a chance to see Gracie from inside, because Kat didn’t live with him.

  But today, out of the blue, she’d invited Ashley and Bella for a tour of the house.

  “Had sex with Alex in the morning? You have that post-orgasmic glow on your face,” Bella teased Kat, as they gave each other a friendly hug.

  “We were discussing the proposed gun control bill, actually.” Kat blushed the exact shade of pink as her skirt suit.

  Shaking her head, Bella sighed. “I swear; I’ll never understand you guys.”

  “Nobody does. But someday, you’ll understand the sexiness that is politics.”

  They negotiated a flight of stairs to what Kat called the ‘yellow parlor.’

  “So how’s it going with Jamie? Anything happened yet?” Kicking her shoes off, Kat lounged on one of the uniformly beige wing chairs.

  On a table in the corner, Alex had his nose bent over a stack of papers, and he was talking to one of his staffers. Since they were still waiting for Ashley and Andrew to arrive, they didn’t disturb Alex.

  “There’s nothing to happen.” Counting the number of stripes in the carpet, Bella yawned. “I’m not a cougar.”

  Even though she’d considered becoming one. Briefly.

  Kat threw one leg over the other and veered in Alex’s direction. “Going after Jamie doesn’t make you a cougar any more than being with me makes Alex a cradle robber.”

  There was a fourteen-year gap between Kat and Alex. It’d never been an issue, though, because they were otherwise so compatible. And Alex looked pretty handsome for being almost fifty.

  “Younger guys are different. They have unrealistic expectations,” Bella moaned. “Besides, I’m not supposed to be dating for a month, remember?”

  “Oh, right. I forgot about that.” Kat shifted her gaze to Alex. There was a hint of concern in the way she looked at him. “He’s so busy these days. He gets home from city hall and then he’s having meetings here all through the night. I worry about his health.”

  “You worry about everybody’s health.”

  Kat wasn’t listening. Brows furrowing, she continued to stare at Alex.

  Bella shook her legs and decided to walk around. Sticking to the windows and the fireplace opposite Kat so as to not disturb Alex, she examined the furniture and paintings on the wall, as Ashley came in through the door.

  A gasp hiccupped from her. “Ashley!”

  Ashley had grown and expanded a lot since the last time she’d seen her. Giving Bella a cheery smile, she waddled towards Kat, one hand protectively on her belly.

  “That’s a big bump. Are you sure you’re not having twins?” Kat inquired.

  When Kat slid her hand over the semi-circle of Ashley’s stomach and something went off inside Bella. It wasn’t jealousy. It was a bittersweet regret. An empty longing for something she didn’t have. Couldn’t have.

  Creeping closer to Ashley, she forced a smile. “Hey. You look good. I haven’t seen you in so long.”

  There was a distance in those words that shouldn’t exist.

  Ashley moved in for an embrace. “We’ve both been so busy. How’s your acting career going?”

  “Another six weeks and it’ll be over. Honestly, I can’t wait to go back to being a professor.” Recently, she missed being able to ponder deep philosophical issues.

  “The show airs in September, right? I’m on a break then so I’ll definitely watch every episode. Maybe she will, too.” Ashley poked her swollen belly, sniggering.

  “Have you thought of a name for her yet?” Freeing himself from his work, Alex shook Ashley’s hand.

  “No, we’re still fighting over it,” Andrew remarked, dryly. Playing it casual for today, he was wearing a blue T-shirt and shorts.

  “But we’re leaning towards Aurora,” Ashley chimed in.

  “No. You’re leaning towards Aurora. I’m leaning towards Alice,” Andrew shot at her, slightly offended.

  Ashley raised her hands in the air. “Alice is such a common name.”

  “At least it doesn’t sound like a Disney princess.”

  They locked gazes for a bit, then Alex spoke up.

  “Okay, okay. Let’s go.” Laughing, he guided them towards the library.

  The library was all blue—blue walls, blue upholstery, blue carpets. Even the curtains were blue.

  “Why’re there so few books in the library?” Bella asked, eyes on the lone bookshelf nestled between the door and a window.

  “Yeah, it’s confusing to visitors sometimes.” Alex rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “The thing is, it’s called the library, but it’s actually another parlor.”

  Sliding a provocative gaze to Kat, Alex cleared his throat. “I use this one for drinking coffee and reading,” a muscle twitched in his jaw, “mostly.”

  And it was anybody’s guess what else he used it for.

  They all shifted to the dining room. It wasn’t big, but it was welcoming. Two large windows on the east brought sunlight inside the mostly blue and green themed space. A long wooden table, polished like a mirror, with eight chairs, was the centerpiece.

  “Is this where you eat?” Ashley asked, studying the wallpaper—a painting of trees, plains, and peasants.

  “Not on a daily basis. But during formal dinners, yes. That wallpaper was manufactured in the 1830s by Zuber, a French company.” Alex stepped back, bumping the fireplace. “It’s more than a hundred years old.”

  “Looks new.”

  “Thanks to the dedicated cleaning team we have here.” Setting one crooked candlestick at the center of the table straight, Alex launched into the history of Gracie Mansion and then led them through the hyphen—a hallway connecting the older wing to the newer wing.

  En route, Andrew stopped at a corner to kiss Ashley’s bump and an unwelcome burn seared through Bella’s chest. Then, to make it worse, Kat took Alex’s hand, and their lips met, too. She had to pretend to look at the framed sketches hanging on both sides
of her until the PDAs died down.

  The ballroom was the next stop. Huge and empty, with hardwood floors scrubbed to gleaming perfection, it was pretty much what one would imagine a ballroom to be.

  “This is where most of the entertaining happens.” Stroking the black exterior of the Steinway grand piano standing diagonally opposite the entrance, Alex scanned the room. “Anyone musically talented here?”

  “I can’t even whistle.” Kat ticked her heels on the glass-smooth floor.

  “The last time my fingers touched piano keys was when I was ten.” Nevertheless, Ashley at least tried to play a scale, which echoed richly.

  She progressed to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” She played most of it correctly, too.

  “You have some talent.” Bella hooked her arm around Ashley as they moved to the lawn at the back of the mansion. “I can’t believe you played a whole song.”

  “Oh, please. It was a nursery rhyme.” Ashley stuck out her tongue.

  “It was something.”

  “Actually, I’ve been listening to a lot of Mozart recently. Did you know that early exposure to classical music makes kids smarter? I want my daughter to be smart,” she said, patting her belly with a proud grin.

  Kat tsked. “I’m sure early exposure doesn’t mean while she’s still in the womb.”

  “Never too early.” Inhaling a lungful of air, Ashley slipped out of her wedges and strolled barefoot over the grass on the lawn.

  Bella snickered. “You’re so gonna be a tiger mom.”

  Circling the perimeter of the lawns, Bella oohed and aahed at the magnolia trees in bloom.

  “Aren’t they beautiful?” Kat extended her arms over her head. “Ah, I love this place. Every time I come here, I don’t want to leave.”

  “Then why don’t you move in here?” Ashley looked over her shoulder to Alex, who was trailing behind them with Andrew.

  Kat rubbed the heel of her foot, which was getting red. “I can’t. Only the mayor’s family is allowed to live here.”

  “But you’re—”

  “I’m his girlfriend.” Her brows drew down in consternation. “And it’s okay. I like where I live.”

  They ended the tour back at the parlor where they were served coffee and snacks, and Alex took his leave. “I hope you can excuse me now. Former first lady Rosalynn Carter just touched down at JFK, and I need to meet her at Bryant Park.”