Sending

by Carmody Isobelle

  ‘Gavyn and Rasial are here, too?’ I asked. I was beginning to feel numb.

  ‘Them and that mad owl that sits and sleeps on the boy’s shoulder when it is day,’ Swallow continued, ‘though it seems to like this place well enough for it has not bothered to use the lad as a perch since they arrived.’

  ‘It is good to see you again, Guildmistress,’ Analivia said as we reached the fire.

  I looked from her to Swallow and made an effort to pull my scattered wits together. ‘What are all of you doing here?’

  ‘Waiting for you,’ Swallow said with a mischievous grin that reminded me uncomfortably of the time he had kissed me to silence me when soldierguards were hunting us. He had given me that same wicked smile afterwards.

  ‘Why?’ I asked.

  ‘It has been too long,’ said Dameon. I turned to the empath, and his arms and affection enfolded me like a warmed blanket. He held me for a long moment and then stepped back. He looked as fit and strong as he had in Rushton’s memory-dream.

  ‘I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye,’ I said.

  ‘I know,’ he replied, smiling down at me. ‘I know it all.’

  Again I had the feeling of the solid ground under my feet turning to mist. ‘You know … what?’

  ‘I know that you go to tryst with a Beforetime computermachine called Sentinel, which controls some terrible weapons. We are to go with you and help you to destroy it before it destroys everything.’

  ‘I … don’t understand,’ I stammered, looking in bewilderment from him to the others. ‘Who told you about Sentinel?’

  ‘I did, for I dreamed about Sentinel once I came here,’ Analivia said gravely.

  ‘A voice spoke in my dreams last year and bade me learn to ride,’ the empath said. ‘The next day Faraf offered to teach me. When the dream voice came three nights in a row, I decided it must be some sort of true dream. It was only some time later that I understood that a voice in a dream had also prompted Faraf to teach me to ride. I was less adept at communicating with her then, for much of the signal speech people use to communicate with animals relied on signals that must be seen. But bit by bit we found ways to replace them with signals that could be felt or heard.’ He smiled at the little pony who nuzzled at him lovingly, offering me a shy greeting. I reached out to stroke her.

  ‘As for me, as you know already, I long ago saw visions of you that let me understand that you were the one spoken of in the ancient promises,’ Swallow told me. ‘Last year, the voice of my dreams told me that you would travel to Stonehill and that you would need the help of the Twentyfamilies. I would have gone myself but the seers forbade it, so I sent Iriny. Then again the voice spoke a twomonth past, and I did its bidding, sending Iriny to the White Valley. The voice said that after she had done what you needed her to do, the ancient promises would be fulfilled, as far as the Twentyfamilies were concerned. But I had a further part to play in your quest and then I saw a vision of the way I must travel to reach this valley.’

  ‘Iriny told me that you were coming up to the White Valley to choose an heir because your seers had seen that you would never father a child.’

  ‘The exact wording was that I would never father a child who would lead the Twentyfamilies,’ Swallow said. ‘The seers feared that this must mean I was unable to bear a child. The dream voice told me that I would father a child only if I left the Land and my people to serve you, and that if I did, I would never return. But the seers said I must not leave without having chosen an heir, for even if the ancient promises that have guided and constrained us for so long were fulfilled as I had said, it would not be easy for the Twentyfamilies to adapt to this new world and life in which they must discover their own purposes. They wanted a symbol to bind them and to cherish as they once cherished the duties demanded by the ancient promises, the seers said. So I visioned and chose a heartchild. The ceremonies were completed ere I left the Land and came here to this valley, as I had been bidden.’

  ‘How long ago did the … the voice tell you to come here to this valley?’ I asked.

  ‘Several moons past,’ Swallow answered.

  ‘Several moons past,’ I echoed. Atthis would have been alive to communicate her commands to him then, as she had been alive to communicate with Dameon and Faraf, but what of the voice that had spoken to Analivia of Sentinel after her arrival in the valley of the Skylake? That could not have been Atthis.

  ‘You look pale as milk. You had better sit down before you fall down,’ Swallow advised. ‘Finding us here is clearly a shock to you. I have to say I am surprised you were not expecting us. Me at least.’

  ‘I have not had any dreams with voices to advise me that you were coming,’ I said, letting myself be ushered to a log covered with a blanket, wondering what they would say when I told them that their dream voice belonged to a futuretelling bird and that the bird had died. I felt a wave of nausea and anxiety and put my hand to my head. ‘It is very hard for me to hear you speak openly of matters that have long been secret. I was sworn never to tell anyone what I must do, lest it cause me to fail in my quest to find and stop Sentinel.’

  ‘You have not revealed it,’ Swallow said. ‘It is simply that we were let in on the secret to assist you.’

  I shook my head and looked around at them, wondering why, of all the people who might have been chosen to help me, these had been sent – Swallow and Analivia were skilled in survival and Analivia admittedly had some healing skills, though mostly connected to midwifery, but neither were Talented, and Dameon, though Talented, was blind. And why Gavyn? The beasts made better sense, for they had always known what I was, though their knowledge was more connected to their belief that I was the Innle of beastlegend, who would lead all beasts to freedom from humans, than to my quest. None of the three had mentioned this, which meant that no beast had divulged it. And what did that mean?

  I had instinctively shielded my thoughts, but it struck me belatedly that there was no need. None of them had farseeking or coercive Talents. If I wished to farseek them, I would have to form a probe, as I had done with Cinda. Dameon was looking at me with concern and I realised that, as usual, I was leaking emotions.

  ‘I saw you in a dream, Dameon,’ I told him impulsively. ‘You had just arrived at Obernewtyn. You were in the front entrance and Rushton came up to you.’ I shook my head. ‘I thought it was a … true dream, but you are here.’

  ‘It was true enough for I did return to Obernewtyn before coming here, and Rushton did meet me inside the front entrance.’ He frowned. ‘It is funny that you should have true-dreamed of it, because for one moment I thought I felt your presence, but no doubt it was only that Rushton’s thoughts were full of his concern about your disappearance.’

  The thought of Rushton worrying about me gave me pain and I asked if there was water. The little fuss of activity to produce a mug of water gave me time to collect myself. It was Analivia who brought it to me, and I drank deeply, then asked if it had come from the Skylake. She shook her head, saying they had deemed it safer to drink from a stream flowing into the southern end of the lake, since there were tiny water plants growing in it. Even as she was answering, Darga beastspoke me to say that the water was not tainted, but I was glad I was not drinking from it, knowing what lay hidden in its depths.

  Swallow rose to suggest we eat before the stew he had cooked burned, and in a short time I was devouring a bowl of rich mushroom and herb stew, thick with potatoes and carrots that must have been carried into the mountains. Dameon went on with his tale.

  ‘Rushton at first assumed that you had ridden down to the White Valley to see Swallow, but by the time I arrived, he had learned otherwise. I knew that you had gone up into the mountains, for when I was on the west coast, the voice that bade me learn to ride spoke again, and told me you would soon leave Obernewtyn to undertake a perilous quest beyond the Land and the high mountains, and that I was to go after you. I wanted to tell Rushton what I knew, for as well as being my friend he is the mast
er of Obernewtyn, nay chieftain of Obernewtyn Shire now, for that matter was settled ere I arrived. But the voice in the dream warned me never to speak of your quest or the part I would play in it to anyone who was not also to accompany you. It was hard to keep silent when he was so anxious for you, but I told myself that if you had the courage to leave without a word to those who love you, then so must I.’

  ‘Did the voice tell you to go back to Obernewtyn?’ I asked.

  ‘It did not. I went there because I had to find out if it was real. I knew it when Rushton told me you had vanished.’

  Swallow interrupted to explain. ‘Rushton knew you had not come to me because I had been up to Obernewtyn before Dameon arrived, at my sister’s urging. She insisted that you wanted to speak to me urgently, and I thought perhaps you had decided to ask me to go with you, though the dream voice had told me that I was to go after you. But of course, when I arrived, you had gone.’ He paused, as if organising his thoughts. ‘I had long been forbidden to speak of you and your quest by the voice in my dreams and by the tenets of the ancient promises, so when Rushton asked if you had been to see me, I said no and only no, though like Dameon, I found it hard to keep silent when Rushton was so worried. Before I left, Rushton had made up his mind that you might have gone looking for Dragon, or Ana.’

  I looked at the lowland woman. ‘I was worried about you,’ I told her. ‘You see, Garth told me that you had spoken of wanting to deal with Radost and Moss before they could come up to revenge themselves on you and Bergold. We thought you might have taken it into your head to go down to Sawlney and try to flush them out. I had Brydda send word to Dardelan to have his spy there keep a watch for you.’ I turned back to Dameon as another thought occurred to me. ‘Rushton wanted you to be chieftain in his stead while he goes to the Red Land.’

  ‘I know it, but have no fear. He has appointed Gevan to serve as chieftain in his absence. Ceirwan will replace you as guildmaster of the Farseekers, of course, and Miky will eventually take her place as guildmistress of my guild. Until she is well enough, I chose several empaths to work as a team running it. They are young and it will take time for them to feel comfortable playing their new parts, especially given the added complication of Obernewtyn being transformed into a settlement, but they will grow to fill their roles.’ He smiled. ‘Remember how young you were when Rushton took control of Obernewtyn and you became guildmistress of the Farseekers? You were the youngest of all the guild-leaders, but never did it seem to any of us that you were too young. Only too solemn, maybe.’ His smile faded. ‘Though perhaps that solemnity did not arise from your role as guildmistress, but from the knowledge of this quest, for it seems to me you must long have known it.’

  I nodded, but I was not yet able to speak easily of my quest. Instead, I said slowly, ‘You told me just now you were forbidden to speak of my quest, so how did you explain appointing Miky to replace you and others to rule your guild until she is recovered?’

  ‘Straight after he came to greet me in the foyer after my arrival at Obernewtyn, Rushton went to see Maryon to ask about you, for by now he knew from Swallow that you had not gone to the White Valley and no one had seen you in the lowlands. Because there was no sign of Radost or Moss among those taken prisoner in Sawlney, Rushton was worried that you might have been taken prisoner by them or by someone else. Linnet had mentioned what you had told her about the possibility that Miryum was being held prisoner and no doubt that put it into his mind.’

  ‘What did Maryon tell him?’ I asked, my heartbeat sounding loud in my ears.

  ‘He came to me later the same day to tell me that Maryon told him that you had left Obernewtyn because there was something vital you needed to do, concerning the welfare of Obernewtyn and the Land, which no one else could do. She said you would not travel with him to the Red Land but that I was to go after you along with Rasial and Gavyn, for you would have need of us. He said he did not know where you had gone or why, but that Maryon had said I was to ride out towards the high mountains the very next day. He said he had already made arrangements for provisions for our journey and he begged my pardon for doing so without first speaking to me, but there was little time. I was flabbergasted as you can imagine, for here he was apologising to me for sending me after you, when I had planned to leave exactly as Maryon had communicated. Rushton saw my confusion, but I had just been with Miky in the Healing Hall and he said that I must not worry about the empaths for Maryon had said Miky would make a fine guildmistress when she had recovered her strength. Then he asked me only to arrange a team to lead the guild for the time being. I had been trying to think how to do exactly that without speaking of what I had been commanded to keep secret, when he found me.’ He shook his head, his expression full of remorse.

  ‘I felt deceitful and treacherous as I told Rushton I would do what Maryon had commanded. Later in the day, he came to tell me that he had decided Gevan must take his place as chieftain of Obernewtyn in his absence, for little as he liked it, Maryon had said he must do as he had promised, and travel with the ships to the Red Land. The next day, he rose and came with me to the farms to bid Gavyn, Rasial, Faraf and me a proper farewell. But Alad said the boy and the dog had already left. Neither Rushton nor I knew what to make of this. He said he had explained what Maryon had said, through Alad, to the dog and she had said only that she would go whither the boy went. I said they must have gone ahead because they were on foot. In truth I did not know what to make of their inclusion, for my dream voice had said nothing of them. Yet it had spoken of others who would accompany you.’

  The empath paused to drink from the mug of water Analivia gave him, for his voice had begun to crack. ‘Rushton said before we parted in the misty morning that Maryon had told him you would never return to the Land. He confessed that he had offered to go with me or in my place, but that Maryon had refused him, saying he was not needed there, but that he had a vital part to play in freeing the Red Land. Then we embraced and I bade him sail well and he said he would see me again, upon his return and mine. Then he bade me tell you that he loved you more than life and always would, whether you ever saw one another again. He did not say it but there was such deep sorrow in him that I believe Maryon told him he would not see you again.’

  Tears welled up in my eyes and I saw Dameon brace himself, but I could not suppress my sorrow to spare him. Suddenly I was sobbing hard, though I had truly thought I had no more tears left in me. It was as if I were letting go of Rushton for a second and final time and the discovery that I had not let go the first time made it all the more devastating, because only now did I see that I had never really believed, until this moment, that I truly would not see him again.

  I was dimly aware that Swallow and Analivia had drawn back to the other side of the fire and begun to occupy themselves building it up as Dameon sat down beside me on the log and gently took the mug from my fingers. He set it aside and took my hands in his. There were tears on his face too, I saw, but gradually I felt the calmness and acceptance he was empathising. I did not fight or resist his Talent. I let it bring me across a sea of grief to a quiet shore.

  ‘I am sorry,’ I said at last. ‘I have known for so long that I would have to leave him but it makes no difference.’ My throat was hoarse as if I had wept for hours.

  Analivia brought me another bowl of stew, watered into a thick soup.

  ‘Eat,’ Dameon said. ‘You can be frugal later. It seems we might all have to be frugal soon, if the way ahead is as bare as the way here.’

  ‘I don’t understand any of this,’ I said, heaving a sigh and warming my hands on the bowl. ‘I was always told to say nothing of … of what I had to do. Right from the beginning it was a secret. Only Maruman and Gahltha knew, and Swallow, a little, because of the ancient promises.’ No one spoke so I asked Dameon to go on.

  He shrugged. ‘Rasial and Gavyn were waiting for me not half an hour from Obernewtyn. Faraf and I had ridden towards the high mountains as Rushton had bidden and Faraf saw them ahead a
nd signalled me. When we came to them, she told me that the dog said the boy would lead me to you. I bade her ask where you were and the dog told her they knew not, but that we were to travel to a place in the high mountains where the sky lay at the bottom of a valley, and that you would come to us there. I did not know what this meant but I had no doubt the same voice that bade me learn to ride had summoned the boy. I did not know why a child would be chosen for the task and not someone older who could communicate with ease and protect us; a child, moreover, with no horse to carry him nor supplies of food or water. On the other hand, what right had I to question his choosing when I was blind? I consoled myself with the thought that we must have been chosen for a reason, though when Analivia told me what she had seen, I wondered what possible use I could be given what you must do.’ He smiled diffidently and then shifted back to his original seat. No doubt my emotions were discomforting him.

  I looked at Analivia. The old bird had told Maruman before she died that I would learn what I needed to know from those I met in the valley of the Skylake. I had assumed it must be knowledge I would get from the wolves, but now I was not so sure. ‘Tell me about your dream of Sentinel. Did you see where it is and how I am to go there? Did it speak of what I am to do with the devices and messages I have gathered?’

  ‘Better to call it a nightmare than a dream,’ Analivia said in a sombre tone. ‘I dreamed it a lot of times for a while when I was young, and there was more to it each time. That first time, I saw only a terrible vision of a land laid waste, everyone dead, all of it Blacklands. I thought I was true-dreaming of the Great White but the next time I dreamed it, I flew further and saw other lands, and they were all burnt and blackened and dead, too. Night after night I dreamed of deserts of black sand and lakes burning with witchfires; I saw forests of trees made of black glass, bare hills littered with bones that lay bleaching in the sun, oceans black and gelid with foulness. Night after night, whichever direction I took, I saw death.’ There was a long moment when she visibly drew herself from the dark vision she had woven for all of us, and then she met my eyes.