Bernard, Lynnette - Laurie's Loves [Beckett's Wolf Pack, Triad Mates] (Siren Publishing Ménage and More)

by Lynnette Bernard

  The main building for the tourists loomed before her. Her heart beat a rapid tattoo against her ribs, and she prayed she was still welcome. Parking the car, she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the driver’s side door to step out of the car and stand beside it, shutting the door quietly and leaning against the car for support. Closing her eyes, she pictured the heavy metal chest she had shielded herself in opening slowly, to be replaced by a white light of protection. Very carefully, she envisioned a small window within the bubble of protection opening and felt herself searching for Jace and Jackson.

  Their despair slammed into her and nearly brought her to her knees. She could feel every bit of anguish they felt, every bit of loneliness that consumed them, every bit of loss that they had suffered by her absence. She couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes at the aching love she could feel they had for her.

  Her heart whispered to them, and she couldn’t keep the fear from her thoughts as she walked slowly up the main steps. With hesitance, she made her way through the lodge, past the curious glances of the pack members in the main room, and past Janine as she stood behind the check-in counter, to the private residence behind it.

  Jace, Jackson, I want to come home.

  * * * *

  Jace looked across the kitchen table to the pack’s doctor and the young man who had been a recent intruder on their land. Both Doc and Mitchell sat quietly before him. The young man’s face was still horribly bruised, and his left eye was still swollen shut. Just looking at the result of this boy’s beating made Jace’s anger build. He was in the perfect mood to have a serious talk with Mitchell’s old pack leader. It had been a long time since he had talked with his fists, but it was one discussion he was looking forward to having. No alpha worth his title would ever rule his pack with violence.

  Jackson stood silently behind Jace, waiting to hear what Doc had to say. Despite his attempts to shut himself off from his alpha, he knew Jace could feel his anxiety. It was rolling through them both in waves that neither man was able to control. In the current state of turmoil that they both were in, neither was in any shape to calm the other. Jackson could feel Jace’s emotions tearing him apart. Jackson knew that he wasn’t physically or emotionally able to give Jace the support he would need if he lost control.

  Jackson’s own mental state was beyond despair. He was barely holding it together. Since Laurie’s disappearance, he could feel his control on his emotions slipping more and more as the days passed without their mate’s presence in their lives.

  “I’ve run quite a few tests on Mitchell, Alpha,” Doc Barrett told them, pulling them back to the situation at hand. “He appears to have a dormant gene that may or may not be activated once he finds his triad partner.”

  “Doc, I won’t find my triad partner,” the young man interrupted, his voice low, resigned to his fate.

  “You don’t know that, Mitchell,” Jace interrupted, his voice soothing, his role as alpha making him give this cub what he needed. It was his job to see to the welfare of his pack. And Mitchell was now a member of his pack.

  “Alpha,” Mitchell began sadly, “I know you’re trying to be supportive, but you have to know that there is something wrong with me. I don’t have a triad partner. I can’t shift. I’m a freak and bad luck.” His clear gray eyes were filled with pain as he looked at Jace. “I was wrong to come here. My dream was probably just wishful thinking that I would actually find my triad partner. I’ll be moving on as soon as I’m healed. I don’t want to bring bad luck to your pack.”

  “This is your pack now, Mitchell,” Jace reminded him. “You are not a freak. You are not bad luck. And you will not be leaving here.” There was no room for argument in Jace’s voice. He turned to the doctor and nodded at him. “Continue, Doc.”

  The doctor cleared his throat. “Yes, well,” he began hesitantly. “I have a theory that Mitchell did not have a triad partner in his old pack because he was destined to find him in our pack. I also think that once he finds his triad partner here, once they bond, that bond will cause a spark in the dormant gene in his DNA sequencing, and he’ll be able to shift.”

  “Really?” Jackson finally spoke, surprised and encouraged by Doc’s words. “That’s great.”

  Mitchell looked at Jackson with shock on his face before he sobered and looked back down at his hands. “That’s a nice fairy tale, Doc, but it’s not gonna happen.”

  Jace looked at the young man. He could feel his pain. Just that fact alone made him know that Mitchell was indeed part of his pack. He wouldn’t have been able to sense his emotions otherwise. So if he was pack, it made sense that he would find his triad partner within their pack.

  “Mitchell, I think Doc is right,” he told him finally, his voice sure. “You were meant to be a member of our pack. It makes sense that you would find your triad partner here.”

  “If you think about it, it also explains why you can’t shift,” Jackson offered. “We all have known our triad partners since we were kids. We went through our first shifts together. If you didn’t have your triad partner with you, you couldn’t have your first shift. Does that make sense, Doc?”

  “Actually, it does,” Doc answered slowly. “I think I’d like to do more tests on some triad partners who haven’t found their mates yet. Their blood composition might show something different in its genetic makeup than what’s in Mitchell’s blood.”

  Getting up, Doc left the room in a hurry. Jace couldn’t stop the grin that briefly came to him as he thought of the poor, unsuspecting triad partners that would become Doc’s pincushion for a while.

  “I think you’ve created a monster, Jackson,” Jace said quietly.

  Jackson smiled a half smile, not really able to put his heart into it. “Sometimes I have my moments of brilliance,” he told him, shrugging.

  “Okay, Mitchell.” Jace’s voice was strong as he turned to the young man. “Now that we’ve established that you’re going to be staying with us, we need to make plans for your future.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I want you to think about what you want to do. Think about what college you want to attend. You’re going to be a productive member of this pack, and the way to do that is to arm yourself with education.”

  “Alpha, I can’t afford to go to college,” Mitchell said quietly. “I’ll do any labor you want me to do to help support this pack. I owe you my life.”

  “Yes, you do.” Jace’s voice was hard as he looked across at him with eyes that flashed with anger. “And you’re going to decide what you want to go to college for, and the pack will provide the tuition for you to learn your profession. And when you graduate, we will have this discussion again so we can see how you can help us with the skills you have learned.”

  Mitchell’s eyes grew large with surprise. Never in a million years had he ever thought or hoped to have the ability to better himself. He thought he was destined to a life of misery, to be alone and struggling for the rest of his life.

  “Yes, Alpha,” he finally whispered. Standing, he bowed his head in deference to both men and turned to leave the kitchen.

  Jackson waited until the door closed behind Mitchell before he walked around the table to take the seat Mitchell had just vacated, leaving an empty chair between him and Jace. He sat back and sighed, every bone in his body screaming with exhaustion.

  “You did a good job, Jace,” Jackson told him quietly.

  Jace nodded and looked across the table, his eyes meeting and holding Jackson’s gaze. “You look like hell,” he said finally, taking in the dark circles under his best friend’s eyes and the defeated way that he held his body.

  “So do you, my friend,” Jackson answered, smiling sadly.

  They sat in silence for a moment. Neither had words for the other. It hurt too much to try to talk. And what would they say? They missed Laurie. They loved her. They physically ached for her touch. They needed her to help them control their anger and their pain.

  What good would talking
about it do? It wouldn’t bring her back. One day of her cell phone going to voice mail and two days of hearing a recording that her phone number was no longer in service had made them accept that she was lost to them. And the baby that she carried, their child, their future, was also lost to them.

  The reality of the situation hurt them beyond devastation. They would never hold Laurie in their arms again or see her smile. They would never feel the warmth of her caring and love. They would never see Laurie growing round with their child. They would be deprived of the feel their child’s first movements within their mate’s womb, being a part of the miraculous birth of their baby, or seeing her nurse at Laurie’s breasts. They would never know the love of their daughter, hold her in their arms, or participate in the joy of helping to raise her. They would never see Laurie again.

  Their life had become a living hell.

  Jace, Jackson, I want to come home.

  Laurie’s soft voice came through in a blinding white light of feeling.

  Both men looked at each other in shock. Neither moved, unsure if their sorrow had finally made them lose their minds.

  “Did you hear that?” Jace asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

  Jackson nodded, almost afraid to speak. “I felt her, too.”

  Their hearts raced as the feeling of Laurie’s presence came nearer. They held their breath as they heard her soft footsteps hesitantly enter the kitchen. They turned as one to face the entrance, shock freezing them in place as they saw Laurie walk in slowly. They remained silent as she made her way around the table to step behind the empty chair that sat between them.

  “Hi.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

  Both men looked at her silently. She saw the raw pain in their eyes as they looked up at her. The dark circles under their eyes and the paleness of their skin also concerned her. She knew she was in no better shape.

  Turning silently and walking toward the sink, she opened a drawer and took out a sharp knife. Going back to the table, she pulled out the empty chair between them, sat down, and reached for an apple that was in the bowl on the table.

  “When I was a teenager, I used to visit my grandmother and grandfather. My grandmother would sit down at the table between me and my grandfather and talk to us quietly about her day. She would take an apple and peel it in one long continuous spiral strip, and my grandfather and I would watch her and smile. It always amazed us how she could do that and never break the strip.”

  Jace and Jackson watched silently as Laurie peeled the apple just as she said her grandmother used to.

  “When my grandmother finished peeling the apple, she would cut it into four pieces and cut out the core, and then she would hand two pieces to me and two pieces to my grandfather.”

  Laurie did as she explained, handing two pieces to Jace and two pieces to Jackson. The men took the pieces from her without a word.

  “One night while my grandmother and I sat on their front porch, she told me that cutting up that apple always calmed my grandfather down after a stressful day at his job. She got into the habit of doing it every night for him. It was also her way of spoiling him and letting him know just how much he meant to her. It was her way of showing him how much she loved him.”

  Jace slowly brought a piece of apple to his mouth, biting it and chewing slowly. Laurie watched him with tears in her eyes as he chewed, his eyes clear as he watched her. She reached out and touched his arm gently. Turning to Jackson, she watched him do the same, and she reached out with her other hand to lightly touch his arm. The immediate feeling of peace and love that transmitted through them was louder and clearer than any words or any story could ever be.

  Laurie could sense the echoes of pain that lingered inside both men’s heads. Standing, she faced Jace first, feeling that his hold on his human side was more fragile. Reaching up, she carded her fingers through his hair and began a slow massage of his scalp. Even though her intent was to help him relax and feel the tenderness that he needed to keep control of his humanity, it helped ease her own pain at being away from them for so long.

  Jace closed his eyes and relaxed under the gentle caressing of her fingers against his temples and scalp. His breathing settled into a slow rhythm, and he found his center as Laurie’s hands led him to total and complete surrender. He looked up at her silently, unsure what to do or say, only knowing that her touch had calmed him in a way that he only was able to feel when he was with her.

  Laurie looked at him and smiled, knowing he was relaxing. Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before stepping back and releasing her hold on him. Turning, she stepped closer to Jackson and lifted her hands to sink her fingers through the softness of his curls. The moment she made contact with him and began to massage his temples and the sides of his head, she realized with sudden fear that Jackson’s hold on humanity was nearly as fragile as Jace’s. Her heart actually hurt as she acknowledged that their pain was because of her. They had nearly lost themselves to their wolves because of her. The delicate balance between their two natures was nearly destroyed. Because of her.

  “I’m so sorry,” she told them, nearly unable to speak because of the emotions that were clogging her throat.

  When she felt Jackson finally relax, she kissed his forehead tenderly, then lowered her hands and took a step back to face both men. There was no doubt in her mind what she needed to tell them both. She couldn’t hide anymore. She couldn’t let her fear stop her from being honest with them. They deserved the best in life. She only hoped she was the one who could give them what they needed.

  “I’ve missed you,” she finally whispered, looking at both of them with tears in her eyes. “I love you.”

  She barely got the words out when Jace bolted to his feet, sending the chair he had been sitting on flying across the room. He reached out and grabbed Laurie by the arms and pulled her into his embrace, crushing her to his chest. The noise behind them proved Jackson was a split second behind Jace’s instincts as his chair thudded against the wall and his arms encircled them both.

  “Mate,” Jackson whispered against the back of her neck, breathing in her scent as if only it could give him what he needed to breathe.

  “Where have you been?” Jace muttered against the top of her head. “We tried calling you but couldn’t get through.”

  “Why did you leave without telling us what was wrong?” Jackson’s voice cracked as he finally gave way to the tears he had been holding back for three days.

  “I told Vera to tell you I had a family emergency,” she protested against Jace’s chest. “I didn’t want to tell her what happened because I didn’t want her to know about my daughter.”

  “You told Vera?” Jace pushed her away from his chest to look down at her with murderous intent.

  “What about your daughter?” Jackson asked her, turning her to face him, concern evident in his face.

  “My daughter was in a car accident,” Laurie explained quickly. “I had to get to the hospital. When I got there, Mia told me that her father ran her off the road.”

  Both men’s immediate growls filled the kitchen.

  “I know. I feel the same way.”

  “Is Mia all right?” Jace asked, barely able to hold his anger in check.

  Laurie nodded. “Yes, luckily. She’s going to be pretty sore for a while. She was pretty bruised up. But she pressed charges against Patrick, and he’s being held until bail can be raised.” Laurie hesitated, her fear making her chest hurt. “The kids and I decided to take you up on your offer for us to live here with you. If you still want us.” Laurie’s voice was quiet as she looked at both men. “I told the kids you would welcome them into your family.”

  Jace pushed away from her in anger, sending Laurie’s heart to her stomach. She had been wrong. They didn’t want her or her kids.

  “Three things, Laurie,” Jace began, trying very hard to keep his voice down. His anger flashed in his eyes, and Laurie could see the wolf within him fighting to get out. “One�
�your children are our children. I’ve told you that before. They will live here, and our pack will welcome them and protect them. Never question that. Two—we never got your message from Vera. Believe me, I will deal with her directly. But if you had opened your link to us immediately, we would have known what had happened and would have gone with you. You’re our mate, damn it! We belong with you. We’re here to help you and to share your life with you. That includes joys and problems. As a team, the three of us can face anything. But we can’t face a life without you in it.” His voice softened with the last sentence. “And three—if you ever, ever, leave us or close us out of your mind again, I will find you and turn you over my knee and paddle that sweet little ass of yours until you can’t sit down for a month! Am I clear?”

  His voice was pure alpha now. The chills at his power and his tender words of love filled Laurie’s heart near to bursting.

  “In case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have a little ass,” Laurie teased, looking up at Jace with tears in her eyes. She turned and looked at Jackson, seeing his anger melt at her comment.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered sincerely. “I closed myself off from you because I didn’t want to hurt you with the threat from Patrick. I thought if I left, I could protect all of you. But then I got the phone call from the police telling me about my daughter’s accident, and I ran to her without thinking about anything but getting to her. I couldn’t use my phone in the hospital, and then I had all our numbers changed so Patrick couldn’t harass us anymore.” She looked up at both men, realizing, as she told them, how inadequate her explanation was. She had hurt them. “By the time we packed up and drove here I was afraid that you wouldn’t want us, so I kept myself closed off until I got here.” Her head lowered in defeat and shame. “I’m truly sorry.”

  Both men looked at her silently then looked at each other, relief evident on their faces. When they felt the emotions that reached out from Laurie until they were surrounded by her love and her sorrow, they stepped toward her as one, taking her in their arms and holding her tightly.