Past Lives

by Chartier, Shana

  “I love you, too.”

  And this time the world did not fade away.

  ***

  The healing process was long and unpleasant and wonderful. After the crash, Giselle and Jackie’s bodies tested positive for flunitrazepam, otherwise known as the date rape drug. A classmate of mine was able to testify that she had seen Jeanie put something in our drinks before we left the party, and Giselle’s mother took her to court for murder. She was diagnosed with a violent personality disorder and placed in psychiatric care indefinitely. Still, having the past life veil lifted, I felt a heavy sorrow for the loss of her. There was a time that I called her my sister, and I hoped, after the events of this life, that I would someday be able to again. I wept at the funerals of my friends, though not for them. I knew I’d be seeing them again soon, one way or another. I wept for their parents and family, who had lost their children and were left to pick up the pieces. I prayed every day for them to find the strength to fight on, hoping that we would someday get at least one life where we all lived to a ripe old age, as it should have always been.

  After the accident, my father became a completely different man. He began to insist that we have dinners together as a family, and he took special care to listen to my stories about school that weren’t just about grades. I found that my lifelong indifference to him melted into filial love overnight, and we were like two peas in a pod. Together, we made it through months of physical therapy and the extra semester it took for me to graduate. When he dropped me off at my apartment in Boston on a cold January morning, he hugged me tightly as I prepared for my first year of pre-med. And I hugged him just as tightly back.

  Sebastian moved to Boston with me, and we have eventual plans to get engaged and do the whole marriage thing. I let him know that it’s very important to me to have children, and he agreed. Secretly, I wondered if I might have three girls, the three women I had never really gotten to know in all my lifetimes—Giselle, Jackie, and my mother. It was my deepest hope that this would be so. I bought us a pair of Boston Irish sweatshirts and couldn’t keep from laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Sebastian asked. My smile was lopsided.

  “Someday I’ll tell you,” I said. Not a day passed that I didn’t wish Sebastian could know what I knew. Often I would make a comment that he would have gotten two hundred years ago, but that left him gaping at me in bewilderment now. Lacing his fingers with mine, he leaned down and kissed my forehead as we kept walking.

  “I’ll just look forward to that, then,” was always his patient reply.

  So there you have it. If someone ever tells you that you have an old soul, or if you meet someone that looks so familiar even though you’ve never met, take heed. You could be in your fifth lifetime, or your 107th. I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way, and I don’t really know what the end goal is, to be honest, but I have learned one thing. Be a kind person. Fill the world with compassion, for yourself and for others. Let the past be your guide and your teacher, but not your dictator.

  And never forget where you came from.

  Shana Chartier lives in New Hampshire with her husband Shane and her daughter Evelyn. In her spare time she enjoys sleeping, writing, and being a closeted cat lady. This is her debut novel.

  First and foremost I would like to thank everyone at Pants On Fire Press for taking a chance on a new writer with a unique story to tell. I have to single out my editor and coconspirator Abby Keeble, who had the perfect edits and made this book much better than it was originally. Thank you Abby! Of course nothing could have been accomplished in my life without the help of caring, supportive parents, so a big thank you to my mom and dad for their constant belief that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. A giant thank you to Erin and Kristy, my first fans and the people who demanded this book come into being. Everyone owes them a beer. Finally a huge thank you and so much love to my husband Shane, who keeps me sane through the craziness, and who I am so grateful to call my soul mate. Thanks for taking so many poop diapers. Thank you to all my family and friends for supporting me through the ups and downs in this crazy thing called life—I love you all!

  See below for links to more young adult books by Pants On Fire Press.

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  Now that you have finished my book, won’t you please consider writing a review? Reviews are the best way readers discover great new books. I would truly appreciate it.

  Shana