SEALed With A Kiss: Heroes With Heart

by Low, Gennita

  “I could have gotten him out before the charges went off, long before you had to go back in for him. I just sat there and stared at my watch as the seconds ticked away. Thirty seconds—a minute—two. I don’t know how long.” He fisted his hands in his hair and pulled.

  Hawk dragged a large ottoman over to sit on in front of him. “How many times have you dragged an injured man to safety, Doc? How many times have you kept one of us up and going, even when we were injured or sick? We’re all called on to do extraordinary things.”

  Doc shook his head and made a chopping motion with his hand. “I’m a SEAL for God’s sake. I’m not supposed to freeze up when things get tough. We train so that doesn’t happen.”

  “But we’re all human, not supermen. And we all have our fears, the fears that make you hear a hollow ringing in your ears and feel as though you’re going to heave. Mine is jumping out of an airplane at three thousand feet. I bet I can guess what yours is.”

  Doc drew a deep breath, and his features began to relax by degrees.

  Hawk leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “What would have made Cutter go back into the building knowing the timers were running out?”

  Doc clenched his hands on the arms of the chair. “I don’t know. The crazy son-of-a-bitch.” There was anger and guilt and pain all mixed up in the exclamation, but it sounded as though some of the anguish had leached out of Doc’s voice now that he’d talked about it.

  “Did you tell Captain Addison when he interviewed you?”

  “Yeah, I told him Cutter went back into the building, but I didn’t know the reason. And I told him how you went in after him.”

  “What was Brett’s worst fear?” Zoe asked, her voice quiet. She had remained so still, so quiet, the entire time he had been talking to Doc, it drew both their attention.

  “I don’t know,” Doc said.

  “I just thought—I don’t think my brother had a death wish. And he had to have a strong motivation for going back into the building.”

  Hawk met her gaze. If Doc’s fear kept him out of the building, maybe Brett’s had had something to do with his going back in.

  Doc leaned back in his chair. He looked exhausted. “Since he doesn’t remember that day at all, I don’t know how we’ll ever know.”

  “How long’s it been since you slept, Doc?” Hawk asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “After we eat maybe you can crash in my room for a while, before I take you home.”

  “Yeah, all right.”

  The fact that the man wasn’t arguing, pointed out how vulnerable he was right now.

  Zoe rose to her feet and offered him a hand. “If you feel up to it, I’d appreciate your taking over the grill. I don’t trust Hawk not to burn the beautiful steaks I’ve had marinating all day.”

  Doc looked up at her and for a moment Hawk saw his eyes grow glassy as though tears weren’t far off. With an effort he shook it off, took Zoe’s hand, and got to his feet. “I’ll make sure they don’t burn.”

  “Good.”

  After he had the grill lit, and the steaks on, Hawk put Doc in charge of watching while he came back into the kitchen for a moment of privacy with Zoe.

  “He would have no more hurt Brett than you,” she said softly as she tore lettuce up in a bowl.

  “No.” He helped himself to a beer from the fridge. “If he’d really wanted to, he had too good an opportunity to do it before we made it back to the hospital.”

  “All that guilt because he didn’t live up to his idea of what he was supposed to be. You guys carry a heavy weight with that SEAL code of honor.”

  He didn’t know whether to read criticism into the remark or not. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

  She rested her hands on the table and swallowed as though it were difficult. “Thank you for going into that building and saving my brother’s life.” Her voice dwindled away toward the end as she struggled to maintain her composure.

  Hawk rested an arm around her waist and brushed her temple with his lips. “He’d have done the same for me, Zoe.”

  She turned and slipped her arms around his waist and held on tight for several moments. She looked up at him. “Wonder if Brett will ever remember?”

  “I don’t know, baby. We’ll have to wait and see.”

  “Do you think we were suspicious and worried for nothing?”

  Hawk wished he could say yes. But that handprint on Brett’s cheek still bothered him. It bothered him a lot.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ‡

  Zoe reached for her mother’s hand as she stood beside her in the elevator. “They’re going to take the feeding tube out tomorrow. He’s complaining about not getting any solid food.”

  Her mother’s eyes grew suspiciously bright. “We’re so very fortunate. God has smiled on us, Zoe.”

  Zoe gave the hand she held a squeeze. “Yes, he has.”

  The elevator doors opened and Zoe bent to pick up the huge basket at her feet and they stepped out into the hall. Three nurses at the station smiled and called out words of congratulation.

  Zoe placed the basket on the counter while her mother continued down the hall. She’d give her a few minutes alone with Brett before she joined them. “I baked some goodies just to celebrate and say thanks for all you’ve done for my brother. The guys downstairs had to have a few of the brownies, of course.”

  “If it was Roger Hastings, I’m surprised there’s anything left. He looks like a string bean and eats like he’s feeding leftovers down a garbage disposal,” Valerie Harris, one of the nurses said, as she came over. “I’m so jealous. I could gain five pounds just looking at a picture of these.” She shrugged as though saying who cares, and helped herself to a cookie.

  Zoe laughed. “I hope you enjoy them.” She nodded to Ensign Crammer.

  Derrick Armstrong stood next to her mother at Brett’s bedside. An electric current of fear raced through Zoe and her eyes went immediately to Brett to check his safety. Seeing Marjorie sitting in one of the few chairs in the room as well, Zoe breathed a sigh of relief. The chances the man would try something with his girlfriend in the room were slim.

  “Hey, Sis. Strong Man and Marjorie just stopped by to visit a minute.” He was sitting up in bed. The IV was disconnected but they had the feeding tube still in. Except for that small thing, Brett looked normal, as though nothing had ever happened.

  “Good.” She crossed to the other side of the bed and bent to kiss Brett’s cheek. Her mom’s eyes and nose were red from crying, but she offered Zoe a smile and turned her attention back to Brett.

  Zoe fought hard to control her expression as she approached Derrick and Marjorie. She offered Marjorie a smile and touched her arm, then nodded to Derrick.

  “Where’s Hawk?” Derrick asked.

  “He’ll be here in a few minutes. He had to stop downstairs to get some paperwork filled out so he can return to duty Monday.”

  Derrick nodded and adjusted the hat he had tucked under his arm. Dressed in the blue camouflage working uniform he looked impressive. “I’m on lunch break, I have to get back to base.” He turned to Brett and the two looped thumbs and grasped wrists in a handshake. “Glad you’re back, man. Gotta go.” He nodded to Clara. “Good to meet you, ma’am.”

  On the way out he brushed Marjorie’s lips with a kiss. “See you tonight, babe.”

  Marjorie’s stillness during the kiss, sent alarm jangling through Zoe and she frowned.

  Marjorie stood and went to the foot of the bed. “I should be going too.” She touched one of Brett’s blanket covered feet, the movement tentative. “I’m glad you’re better, Brett.”

  “Me, too. Thanks.”

  “I’ll walk with you to the elevator and give Mom some time to visit with Brett, Marjorie,” Zoe said, on impulse.

  The woman nodded. “Sure.”

  “How did the trip to San Francisco go?” Zoe asked as they walked down the hall together.

  “It was great. I think Derrick
had as good a time as I did.”

  “Good.”

  Marjorie’s eyes shifted away. “He can be really sweet.”

  “I’m sure he can, Hawk can make me melt in my shoes.”

  Marjorie laughed. “I can imagine.” Her expression turned serious. “I know that Hawk talked to Derrick. I know you probably said something to him about my arm.”

  “Yes, I did. I was concerned for you.”

  Marjorie nodded. “I appreciate it. Derrick’s seeing a counselor, and he seems to be really trying. He is doing better with his anger.” Her tone wavered between defensive and hopeful.

  “I’m glad. I hope he’ll stick with it.” For Marjorie’s sake, Zoe really prayed he would.

  “Me too.” Marjorie fell silent for a moment then moved restlessly as the elevator doors opened. “I have to go.”

  The woman seemed so isolated, so alone. Zoe touched her arm. “I’m going to be staying with Brett for a month after he’s discharged from the hospital. If you should need to talk, or want to just get out for a little while and go shopping, call me.”

  “Hawk won’t mind?” The woman’s eyes searched Zoe’s face.

  “No, of course not. Why should he?”

  Marjorie shrugged. “I thought by now you two might have decided to live together, or something.”

  They already were. “We’ve been busy with Brett and a few other emergencies. We haven’t really talked about what we’re going to do once Brett is released.”

  Marjorie stepped into the elevator. “Hawk’s going to ask you to stay. I know he will.”

  Her reassurance helped to ease Zoe’s niggling feeling of doubt. Since her mother’s arrival he’d been—different. She couldn’t really put her finger on it. She raised her hand in farewell as the elevator doors closed.

  Was Hawk going to ask her to stay with him on some permanent basis? And if he did, what would she say?

  The second elevator door opened and the subject of her thoughts stepped out. He smiled, then frowned. “Something wrong?”

  “No, I was just saying good-bye to Marjorie. She and Derrick stopped by for a few minutes.”

  Hawk’s arm looped about her waist and she did the same to him.

  “She says Derrick’s doing better.”

  “Good. How’s your mom?”

  “She’s a little teary, like I was the first day, but she’s doing okay.”

  She looked up and studied his profile. “Do you think we need to say anything to her about us?”

  He frowned. “Like what?”

  Anxiety rolled over her like a tank leaving her breathless and weak. That’s what was different. He’d backed off since her mother’s arrival. He’d grown more careful with the easy gestures of affection she’d become accustomed to. Her voice sounded thin. “That we’ve grown close, and we want to see where it’s going to take us.”

  “You’ve been giving it some thought,” he said.

  “Since the first time we made love. Haven’t you?”

  “Yeah.” He smoothed back a strand of hair from her shoulder. “It might make your mom uncomfortable with me, if you come straight out and tell her we’ve been sleeping together.”

  She studied his expression. She tried to swallow but she didn’t have enough moisture there to complete the action. She wanted to say talk to me, Hawk, but the words stuck in her throat, and her face felt numb.

  She stepped closer to him to avoid a nurse pushing a mobile computer. “They’re going to do a more thorough neurological exam later today to see how much brain damage Brett’s sustained. I’ll have to stay with him for a few weeks after he’s discharged.”

  “He can stay with us at my house.”

  Zoe stopped. Would he be so quick to offer that if he were thinking of backing off from their relationship? Her heart pounded as though it might come out of her chest. God help her if he was getting cold feet, or tired of her. “We have to talk about this some more, before we bring it up with Mom and Brett.”

  “Are you worried about what they’ll think?” he asked.

  “Are you?”

  Hawk turned to face her, his gray eyes intent. “No, I’m not. I just know moms are a little protective of their little girls and well—it puts me in the position of having broken my word to look out for you.”

  Was that all it was? She’d have given her good leg just to feel a little relief. A moment passed before she could catch her breath. She smiled. “You haven’t done anything I didn’t want you to.”

  “I think your mom might have a different perspective on that, honey.”

  The door opened behind them and they looked up. Clara stepped out in the hall. There was a frozen look to her features, and she appeared pale. “Something’s wrong with Brett.”

  *

  Dr. Connelly leaned against the adjustable table next to the bed, Brett’s chart held in both his hands. “It’s called expressive aphasia. It’s caused by an injury to the area of the brain that controls verbal communication.”

  Zoe’s stomach grew hollow with fear. Her gaze shifted to her mother. Her features looked wooden with control.

  Brett’s voice, still weak, held a taut note, “So that’s why I feel as though the word is right there on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t get it to come.”

  “That’s very common with head injuries,” Dr. Connelly said with a nod.

  “Mom was showing me pictures and I couldn’t remember—” His expression grew tense as he concentrated on getting the right word to come out. “C-Cat—”

  “Katie Beth,” Clara supplied the name for him.

  Brett shot her a frown. “Yeah.”

  “Who is Katie Beth, Brett?” Dr. Connelly asked.

  “My niece.”

  “You know who she is, but you can’t say her name when you look at her picture.”

  “No, I couldn’t get the word to come to my mind.”

  Dr. Connelly nodded. He looked down at the chart he held. “You don’t seem to have trouble identifying the people in this room.”

  “No.”

  The doctors gray brows drew together. “Who’s the woman standing next to your bed?”

  “My mom, Clara.”

  “And this young lady.” Connelly pointed with the chart.

  “My sister, Zoe.”

  “And the fellow next to her?”

  “Lieutenant Yazzie, Hawk, my commanding officer.”

  “You have all these people here supporting you, son. You’re not alone in this.”

  “I’m going to contact the head of our speech pathology here on staff. As soon as we’ve finished our tests, they can do their own evaluation and get you started.”

  Brett nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

  “Your brain has sustained a trauma, Brett. I’ve already talked to you about the extent of that.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You’re a living miracle. You woke up.”

  “Yes, sir, I know that.”

  “It’s going to be tough,” Connelly continued. “You’ve done tough before with your SEAL training.”

  Brett’s jaw tightened and Zoe read his fear behind the careful blankness of his expression.

  “As long as you go at it with as much determination as you did that, there’s a good chance, you’ll overcome this.”

  “I hope so, sir.”

  Zoe heard doubt in the word hope and laid a hand on his shoulder. “You will, Brett.”

  “We’ll have more information in a few days and know better how to progress from there.”

  As soon as Dr. Connelly left the room, a taut silence followed.

  “Guys, I think I’d like some time alone for a little while,” Brett said.

  Zoe’s gaze met her mother’s over Brett’s head.

  “All right, sweetheart.” Clara bent to kiss Brett’s cheek and his arms went around her.

  “Love you, Mom.”

  “I love you too.” Her eyes grew glazed with tears as she straightened, but she quickly blinked them back to offe
r him a smile. She left the room.

  Zoe hugged him hard and met his blue gaze head on. She ran a comforting hand over his fine halo of hair that stuck straight up in the air. He looked so much like he had as a little boy with his hair cut so short. He was still her big brother, but she suddenly realized their roles had reversed. “I know this is a blow, but you’ll be fine.”

  “Sure, Sis.”

  “Hawk, I need to speak to you privately for a minute,” Brett said.

  “Sure.”

  *

  Hawk approached the bed as soon as the door closed behind Zoe and her mother. He had seen that battle ready expression on Zoe’s face so often he only briefly acknowledged it on Brett’s features.

  “I need you to take some pictures for me,” Brett said. “The equipment we use, some of the people we work with. I have to know how wide spread this memory-language thing is.”

  That sounded like a reasonable suggestion to Hawk. “All right. How bad do you think it is?”

  “If you can’t remember your own niece’s name, it’s bad.”

  Hawk laid a hand on Brett’s shoulder. “You knew who she was, you just had trouble with her name. You haven’t forgotten her.”

  “No, but Jesus!” Brett’s frustration and panic were plain in his expression, his voice.

  “You need to relax, Brett. You’ve just woken up from a month long sleep. You haven’t given yourself time to get acclimated to being awake again. It may just be a temporary thing.”

  “That isn’t what it sounded like to me.”

  Hawk agreed. But getting worked up over it was going to be counterproductive.

  “You know how it is when we get ready to go into action, how we shake off outside stressors. You need to home in, Brett. Focus on getting back on your feet first, then tackle this language—,” He hesitated. Beating around the bush wasn’t going to help. “problem.”

  “There wasn’t a moment your mother or your sister ever doubted you’d wake up. Zoe’s been here every day, talking to you, doing P.T. on you. If you have half as much faith in yourself as those two ladies do, you’ll have this thing ironed out in no time.”

  The anxiety leached out of the man’s features after a few moments. “Thanks, Hawk.”