by Vikki Vaught
“It’s so unfair to you. I want to do what’s right for you.” She looked at him through tear-drenched lashes.
He stroked her cheek. “I want you to stop worrying. I shall be fine. We will have our friendship, and that means the world to me.”
She interrupted. “But Jonathan, men have certain urges, and I can never fulfill those for you. If you still want to marry me, then please feel free to keep a mistress. I know it’s the way of the ton. Many husbands do, and I promise I shall understand.”
“Darling, I have no need for another woman. I promise I’m fine with just your affection. You’ve been sitting on my lap for quite some time, and I do not believe you find it terrifying.” Jonathan gently stroked her shoulders, and Kathryn realized she’d never felt so safe. “Now, I want you to stop worrying. Go home and get ready for our wedding. You will be a beautiful bride—the only bride I want. Will you do that for me?”
“Oh, Jonathan, I promise to be a good wife and a good mother to your niece and nephew. I already love Frankford and Jane above all things. Just know, if you do take a mistress, I shall understand.” She smiled at him and snuggled close.
“If I ever feel I need one, I shall, but that shan’t happen. I’m an adult and have control of my urges, so I have no need for a mistress. Now, let us go join your sister and her husband.” He kissed her tenderly on the cheek and helped her arise.
On the return drive, Kathryn felt at peace. Now, at least Jonathan knew the full extent of her fears and still wanted to take her to wife. She sent a prayer to heaven, thanking God for bringing such a kind and honorable man into her life. She vowed to be the best wife a man could ever desire, and a good mother to Frankford and Jane.
CHAPTER 17
Friday afternoon, Stebbins arrived with the unfinished portrait of Roderick and his family. Jonathan had the portrait carried to the studio he’d prepared for Kathryn. Once the footman placed it on the easel, he dismissed him. He gazed at the portrait and found it hard to swallow. Tears filled his eyes, and he fought to keep them from falling.
Oh, God, why did life have to be so unfair?
Roderick and Allison had been so vibrant and so in love. Kathryn had Roderick’s face painted, and she’d captured his zest for life in his brilliant blue eyes, so like his own. Jonathan prayed he could raise Frankford and Jane in the manner Roderick and Allison would have wanted. With her love and support, he’d be successful.
He recalled the conversation with her that morning.
Thank God I convinced her.
His heart had stopped when she told him she released him from what she saw as his obligation to wed her. Her beautiful face had been so expressive, and the sadness in her eyes had torn at his soul.
How could anyone be so licentious with an innocent child?
No wonder the thought of making love terrified her. The bastard had robbed her of something that should have been her gift to her husband. Obviously, Kathryn never told Sanderford about the rape and abuse, or that bastard would have been dead four years ago.
Jonathan would have the battle of his life to help her overcome her fear of intimacy. His desire for her was intense, but he must step carefully so he did not scare her. He prayed that as she grew closer to him, she would let go of her fear. When he turned from the portrait, he noticed the time. Jenkins would arrive soon, so he left the studio and returned to his study.
Before he’d settled behind his desk, Goodman entered to let him know his friend had arrived. “Excellent. Show him in.”
When Jenkins entered the study, Jonathan stood and extended his hand. “Ah, my friend, so pleased you could make it. I trust you had an easy journey?”
“Very easy.” His friend cocked a brow. “I was astonished when I received your letter inviting me to your wedding. The last time we talked, you swore you would never wed. What changed your mind?”
After they took a seat, Jonathan filled him in on the recent events. “So, you see, while Lady Kathryn did my portrait, we became well acquainted. When Roderick and Allison perished, she was at my brother’s estate doing their portrait. I do not know how I would have coped without her. Fortunately, she agreed to my proposal because she wants to help me raise the children.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how close you were to your brother. It’s so hard to imagine they’re gone.” Jenkins hesitated. “Lady Kathryn is a confirmed spinster. It’s a well-known fact she planned to remain unmarried. From what I have heard, she’s turned down several proposals. How did you convince her to change her mind?”
Jonathan grimaced as pain shot through his knee. He tried to find a more comfortable position, then answered, “She’s grown quite fond of the children. I offered friendship with no strings attached and convinced her I would not interfere with her art. That was her primary objection.”
“What do you mean ‘no strings attached’?” he asked.
Jonathan hesitated while he considered his friend’s question, then decided to confide in him. “We’ve been friends for a long time, so what I’m about to tell you must be kept in strictest confidence. It will be a marriage in name only.”
“Why in God’s name would you agree to that?” he huffed. “I suppose you will find a new mistress when you return to town. Perhaps this is not a bad arrangement after all. You gain a mother for the children, and you can continue with your life as though you were still a bachelor.”
“I shan’t be taking a mistress,” he declared, “nor will I continue to live my life as a bachelor. I could never betray Kathryn that way. I’m in love with her.”
He shrugged his shoulder. “You’re a stronger man than I. My mother is after me to wed, so next spring I shall look for a wife. But it will not be in name only, I will tell you that.” Pity burned in his friend’s eyes.
He should have kept his mouth shut. “I do not need, nor do I want, your pity.”
Jenkins held up his hand. “Sorry, old friend. I pray for your sake you do not live to regret this decision. I can’t see you, of all people, being celibate for the rest of your life.”
Jonathan looked at him. “If you told me two months ago I would feel like this, I would not have believed it, but my love for Kathryn supersedes all else. I’m hoping she will fall in love with me and change her mind. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Jenkins grinned. “She’s changed you, Sutherland.”
He clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Now, shall we look at my new colt? He was born a few days ago.”
* * * *
Madame Bovary had arrived at her mother’s house with her wedding gown, waiting to do the final fitting, when Kathryn had returned from Jonathan’s. Her mother was furious at her for leaving the house, but when Madame Bovary assured them she was not upset, her mother had stopped her rant. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Cousin Harold arrived with his family, along with several other family members. Most of them were staying at the White Hart Inn across from the assembly rooms.
At tea, Melody joined her on the sofa. “Honey, are you well? Why did you go see Jonathan this morning? You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
“I feel my insistence on a marriage in name only isn’t fair to him, since I know I shall never be a true wife, but he still wants to marry me. I went to tell him I wanted him to take a mistress, but he said he did not need one. I did obtain his promise that he would take one later, if he decided he needed one after all.”
Melody patted her hand. “You need to relax. Jonathan is a wonderful man, and if he wants to marry you, knowing how you feel, then you need to let him. I have a very good feeling. I believe you will love being married to him.”
Kathryn covered her mouth to conceal her yawn. “Goodness, I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m going upstairs to take a short lie-in before I dress for dinner. I shall see you then.”
Dinner was an elaborate affair. The duchess loved to entertain, so she was in her glory. Kathryn enjoyed seeing the rest of the family and was pleased so many of
them had decided to come. Susan and her husband had arrived and were in attendance as well. Kathryn had become good friends with her while volunteering at the orphanage.
When Kathryn went up to her room, she was much more relaxed than she’d been the night before. Sarah helped her don her night clothes, then Kathryn dismissed her for the night. As she grew drowsy, she remembered how safe she felt whenever she was with Jonathan. When he held her in his arms, she did not find it frightening in the least. It must be because she trusted him to keep his word.
She would make sure he did not regret their union. She would be the best mother possible to Frankford and Jane, and she would take good care of Jonathan’s household. As she fell asleep, a peaceful smile graced her face.
The wedding was set for eleven, and Sarah woke her at eight. She’d slept much better than the night before. Her maid brought her breakfast, and after she’d eaten, Sarah had her bath ready. Soon it was time to don her wedding gown. Helen and Melody came to her room to wait with her until it was time to leave for the abbey.
Melody gave her a hug. “Darling, you look radiant. I can see it in your eyes—you’re simply glowing with happiness.”
“I feel happy. Thank you for listening to me.” Then she glanced at Helen. “And you too, Helen. I would not have made it through to this day without your love and support.”
“That’s what sisters are for,” she replied. “Now, shall we go downstairs? It’s almost eleven.” Arm in arm, the three of them made their way downstairs. Henry was waiting for them in the entry hall.
He gave her a brotherly hug. “Sweetheart, you are a beautiful bride. Are you ready to go to the church?”
The peace she’d found the night before was still upon her, so she spoke with conviction. “I’m ready.”
When she arrived at the church, the pews were filled with all the guests her mother had invited. Evidently, all three hundred people were in attendance. It was a bit overwhelming, but it pleased her mother. She looked around the nave. White lilies and roses covered the altar. Purple tulle and white satin bows adorned the end of each pew. Hundreds of beeswax candles were lit, casting a glow.
As the music filled the abbey, she placed her trembling hand in the crook of Henry’s arm. He covered it and gave her hand a gentle pat as they started down the aisle. Her knees shook, and her hands trembled as she clasped her bouquet. Jonathan stood in front of the altar in all his wedding finery. His piercing blue eyes shone with affection. Melody, Helen, and Elaine were smiling, looking lovely in their deep purple gowns.
When they reached the altar, the vicar asked, “Who gives this woman in holy matrimony?” Henry looked at her with love shining in his eyes. “I do.” Then he placed her hand in Jonathan’s, and they moved forward in front of the vicar, and the mass began.
He repeated his vows. “I, Jonathan Frankford Courtland, take thee, Kathryn Eleanor, to my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part. According to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I plight thee my troth.” His voice was strong and clear.
Then it was her turn to repeat her vows, and she did so in a quiet, steady voice. “I, Kathryn Eleanor, take thee Jonathan Frankford Courtland, to my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and to obey, till death us do part. According to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I plight thee my troth.”
As Jonathan slid the ring on her finger, peace washed over her, greater than before. Meeting her new husband’s gaze, she heard the vicar say, “You may kiss your bride.”
He lifted her veil, then lowered his head, pulled her close, and tenderly kissed her lips. A thrill ran through her. There was no fear or apprehension. He lifted his lips from hers and smiled as he tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. Then they made their way into the vestry where they signed the registry book. They were husband and wife at last.
They made their way outside to the awaiting carriage. Rice and rose petals rained down upon them from both sides. Once they were seated in the carriage, Jonathan pulled her into his arms and kissed her—light, feathery kisses on her eyes, cheeks, and lips. As he eased back, he said, “Thank you. This is the happiest moment of my life. After all the sorrow and pain of losing Roderick and Allison, it’s wonderful to feel such joy. Please tell me you’re happy, my darling?”
Kathryn smiled. “I’m overjoyed. I shall be a good wife, and a good mother to Frankford and Jane.”
Jonathan cradled her in his arms on the way to the assembly rooms, and she felt safe and protected. By the time they entered, most of their guests had arrived.
The assembly rooms looked lovely. Each white linen-covered table had a candelabrum in the center, with baby’s breath and purple ribbons interwoven around the base. It did not surprise her in the least, since anything her mother planned would be magnificent. They made their way through the well-wishers to the head table, where they took their seats. Jonathan held her hand the entire time, and Kathryn enjoyed the closeness.
Lord Shelton made his toast to their happiness, and then Henry stood to make his. “To my sister and her new husband, I wish you a life filled with love and happiness as you go forth into your new life.” Tears shimmered in her eyes. Then Jonathan’s friend, Baron Jenkins, followed with his toast, wishing them many years of happiness.
As they sat at the head table, she kept stealing glances at her gorgeous amethyst and diamond ring. It was the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen. He met her gaze. “Do you like the ring? I picked it out because it reminded me of your beautiful violet eyes.”
Her gaze met his. “I love it. I’ve always loved amethysts, and I could not ask for a more beautiful ring.”
“I promise I shall make you happy. I’ve reserved the bridal suite at the White Hart Inn. I want tonight to be special.” She stared at him and started to say something, but Jonathan touched her lips with his finger. “Do not fret, I shall keep my promise. We can still enjoy the luxury of their opulent suite.”
The tension that had started in her body eased. “I trust you to keep your word. That’s one of the things I most admire. I wanted to ask you if you were able to retrieve the portrait from Westland Acres.”
He stroked her hand. “Stebbins brought it with him. I had it placed on your new easel in your studio. You’ve caught Roderick’s keen love of life in his eyes. I’m so pleased you can finish it.”
“There’s still quite a bit more I plan to do before it will be complete. I want it to be my best work. This will be the last portrait of them, and it will stand as a lasting memorial for their children. I also intend to paint a miniature for each of the children, so they never forget them.” Gooseflesh danced along her arm as Jonathan’s hand gently stroking hers.
“Can you paint one for me?” he asked.
“Of course, It will be my pleasure.” Kathryn gazed around the room. “We need to mingle with our guests.”
CHAPTER 18
They walked hand in hand around the room, speaking with their guests. Kathryn introduced Jonathan to Cousin Harold, his family, and the other family members. They came upon Susan and her husband and stopped to chat.
Susan smiled as she gave Kathryn a hug. “You are simply stunning. I was so pleased and happy when I received your invitation.”
“I’m pleased you came. This is my husband, the Marquess of Sutherland.” She turned to Jonathan. “This is Viscount and Viscountess Hastings. Remember I told you I volunteer with her at the orphanage?”
He bowed. “My pleasure, ma’am. My wife has mentioned you several times.”
Susan curtsied. “I have looked forward to making your acquaintance ever since I received your invitation. I wish both of you much happiness.”
“Thank you, Susan.” She met her friend’s gaze. “I know you had to travel a significant distance to be here. Have you fully recover
ed from your most recent blessed event? I was thrilled when I heard you had a daughter.”
Susan beamed. “I have the most precious little one, Laura. My boys are a little put out because I have given them a sister, but they’re beginning to warm up to her. Are you still planning to pursue your art?”
“I certainly am,” she assured her. “In fact, it’s how we met. He commissioned me to do his portrait. I also did his brother’s family before they perished.”
Susan turned to her husband. “My lord, so sorry to hear of your loss. We met your brother and his wife several times when they were in London for the season. It’s such a tragedy to lose both of them at the same time. I understand they had children. They must be having a difficult time.”
“It has been difficult, but knowing my bride will be by my side helps a great deal. The children are already fond of her.” Jonathan patted her hand. “Is that not right, my dear?”
“Yes, quite fond.” She recalled Mary’s news. “I understand congratulations are in order. Mary told me you have joined her on the board of trustees at St. Mark’s. You will be an excellent addition.”
“Thank you,” Susan replied. “I’m looking forward to helping the children. Since you’re still going to paint, we want you to do miniatures of each of our children, and a family portrait as well. When could you do them?”
Kathryn glanced at Jonathan. “Lord and Lady Hastings live in Kent, which isn’t too terribly far from Sanderford Park. I want to accept this commission. We could go there when we leave my brother’s after the holidays. Would that be agreeable to you?”
“Whatever makes you happy. I agreed to never inhibit your art. Kent is lovely country, so I would enjoy going. Remember, we will have the children with us,” he reminded her.