Embattled Christmas

by J. M. Madden

  She blinked and pinched at her sparkly blue party dress. “I have a really important thing on my list but it may be too big.”

  Chad tilted his head and adjusted the wire glasses over his eyes. “Well, I won’t know if it’s too big unless you tell me.”

  Mercy chewed on her lip, then glanced around until her gaze connected with Duncan. With a nod and a wave of his hand his boss encouraged his little girl, and Chad wondered what had gone on there.

  “Well,” she said finally, “I wanted to ask you if you could make Chad my daddy. Not for just a little bit but for all times? I promise I’ll clean my room and everything. Mommy wants him too.”

  Chad felt his heart stall out in his chest as he looked down at the little doll that had stolen his heart over and over again. And he realized she had just stolen it one more time. “Well,” he said, treading carefully, “that is a big request. He’s offered to marry your mom, right?”

  She nodded, blonde ponytail swinging. “Yeah, both of us, but that was a long time ago.”

  “It takes a while for big people to do things.”

  Mercy scowled. “Yeah, that’s what Duncan said too, but I want him to be my dad before I go back to school. That way I can prove to Rosie Jenkins that she was wrong. That I can ask for things from Santa other than toys. And then Mrs. Caldora will stop asking me what happened to my old daddy. She’s mean and he was mean too, but Chad isn’t. I really want us to be a real family.”

  He fought the emotion tightening his throat. “Well, I’ll have to see what I can do. That’s a really big request.”

  Mercy nodded and leaned up to give him a big hug. Chad returned her squeeze and helped her drop to the floor. His eyes connected with Lora’s as she retrieved Mercy and he wondered how he could convince the little girl he would be there permanently.

  Chad posed for pictures for a few more minutes. Jameson puckered up and cried when Kendall tried to hand him over, so after a few big guffaws and waves and ho ho hos he walked out the front door. Once out of sight he circled the restaurant and entered through the rear door, walking to the office to change back into his regular clothes. Within just a few minutes he was slipping back out front to hand out toys and gifts. Mercy’s request would have to take a back burner for a while.

  Duncan’s gift from all of them arrived while he was getting changed. Freaking hell this was going to be good.

  Chad started handing out gifts, first to the kids, then to the adults. There were laughs all around as wrapping paper fell to the floor and ribbon was tossed away. Chad was particularly proud of the black t-shirt he’d had printed up for Duncan. It read, ‘Save a Humvee – Ride a Marine!’ There were laughs all around and Duncan pulled the shirt on, proving what a good sport he was. Chad laughed as he thought about what was coming.

  John gave him a wave when he was getting to the end of the gifts and Chad cursed to himself. Shit! He’d forgotten to grab Shannon’s. He jogged back the hallway and pushed the big square box down the hallway and into the main room. The commotion drew everyone’s attention. When he called Shannon’s name she jerked in surprise.

  *

  Shannon didn’t even want to know what was in the box. She sighed and forced a smile through her crushing disappointment. It was too big to be a ring, obviously. She glanced at John but he was scowling. The look on his face did not bode well.

  Stepping forward, she untied the big red bow on top of the silver box. The ribbon fell to the floor and she lifted the lid off. The box had been cut so that when the lid was removed the front of the box fell forward. Shannon jumped out of the way. There was another box inside, smaller. Wondering how many layers there were going to be to this gift, she lifted the lid off the interior box then jerked back in surprise. A golden-haired puppy had jumped against the side of the cardboard. It jumped again, gave a sharp yip and tumbled out onto the floor when the box tipped over. Since Shannon was right in front of it the dog came straight to her.

  Laughing, she let the puppy attack her with its tongue, licking her faster than she could turn her head. She laughed for a moment then suddenly burst into tears. The dog cocked its head at her, obviously concerned.

  “Why are you crying?” John growled, rolling forward.

  Shannon shook her head, mopping at her eyes, unable to articulate why she was so disappointed. Instead of the commitment she’d been looking for he’d committed her to more responsibility. Frustration built. She tried to breathe through it but it continued to grow. Then she got just plain mad.

  “Why did you give me a dog?” she all but yelled.

  John’s eyes widened a little at her tone then narrowed. “It’s a Christmas gift. I thought it was a pretty nice one.”

  Shannon shook her head. “It’s a commitment without a commitment,” she snapped. “You just gave me this so that you wouldn’t have to give yourself.”

  Cocking his head to the side, he glared at her. “I give you myself all the time.”

  “No, you don’t. You give me pieces. But you keep the rest back, protected. I’ve been with you for a year now and I love you, John, but you drive me nuts sometimes.”

  The puppy licked at her tears. Shannon stroked her fuzzy head. It wasn’t the dog’s fault that John was oblivious.

  “She has a name,” he told her gruffly. “It’s on her collar.”

  Scratching under her chin, Shannon felt for the tag on the collar but she couldn’t find it. There was something tied to it though…

  She looked down at the diamond ring twinkling in her hand. Then up at John. He still scowled, but now she could see the insecurity shadowing his dark eyes. He had planned it this way. Tears obscured her vision at her stupid impatience. How long had he been planning this? She got up off her knees to cross to him, ring on her palm.

  “That was very sneaky, but I want to hear you say it.”

  Without hesitation John took the ring from her hand. “Shannon Murphy, I know I’m a pain in the ass to live with and love, but I absolutely adore you. I can’t imagine living my life without you. Will you marry me?”

  Shannon wiped the tears from her cheeks before she collapsed into his arms, nodding. “I will,” she gasped.

  Around them their friends cheered. Within seconds the crowd moved in around them, pounding John’s back and squeezing Shannon in tight hugs.

  Shannon’s emotions were see-sawing too much tonight. Drawing back in his arms she looked into his dark eyes. They were filled with an incredible tenderness and she couldn’t help but stroke his bearded cheek. “The peer pressure finally got to you, huh?”

  He gave a single shake of his head, raising a brow in rebuke. “You know I don’t give in to peer pressure.”

  “So why did you finally give in?”

  Sighing, he ran his own hand down her cheek, down her neck and into the V of her green sweater. Before his hand left completely he brushed against her nipple. Shannon gasped and glanced around, but the tumbling puppy had most everyone’s attention. “I just realized that I would never find anyone that would put up with my shit nearly as well as you do.” He ducked when she aimed a fist at him, but stayed her hands with a kiss on the knuckles. “In all seriousness, I want you to understand that I love you completely. I don’t know why you’ve been unsettled recently but I wanted to make sure this wasn’t one of the reasons. And it was time.”

  His rough fingers ran over the cushion cut of the diamond ring.

  “If there’s anything in my power I can do to make your life easier and less stressful, I will do it.”

  Shannon had to give him an incredulous look. “So you gave me a puppy?”

  John’s handsome face fell into a shamefaced grin. “What can I say? I know you love animals. And I have to admit, she kind of got me too when I saw her at the shelter.”

  She shook her head and reached her arms around his neck. “Good thing you’re housebroken,” she whispered in his ear.

  John laughed, holding her to him. “Pretty much, anyway.” He pressed a kiss to her lips,
lingering. “I’ve missed this,” he whispered.

  “I have too,” she sighed. “It’s about time you proposed. I was reaching critical mass.”

  He leaned his head to look into her face. “What do you mean?”

  Shannon took a huge breath. “If you didn’t step up I was going to propose to you tonight.”

  Dark brows shot up on his forehead and his jaw sagged. Shannon giggled. It wasn’t very often John Palmer was surprised by anything. She rubbed her fingers down his bristly cheek. “Then when you accepted I was going to tell you what a fabulous husband and father you were going to be.”

  A strange stillness settled into his eyes. He tilted his head. “Father?”

  She nodded her head, eyes filling with tears.

  John went very pale under his beard and for the first time she was glad that he was sitting down, because he looked like he might have keeled over in shock. Mouth falling open, he didn’t say anything, just stared at her as if he’d been shot. Eventually he blinked, then blinked several times more, his eyes filming with moisture. “Are you telling me you’re pregnant?”

  She pressed a kiss to his lips. “About eight weeks.”

  Hard arms wrapped around her, almost closing off her air. Shannon laughed as his bearded face nestled into her neck. But she stopped laughing when she felt wetness against her skin. Was he actually crying? It was several long moments before he pulled back enough to look down at her.

  He had indeed shed a few tears, but he scrubbed them away with his hands quickly. “I don’t know if I can be a parent. My upbringing was shit and I don’t want to contaminate a kid with that.”

  Shannon had known this was going to be an issue. “But my upbringing was very different from yours. Between the two of us I think we can raise a wonderful little human being.”

  A disgusted frown contorted his features. “I’m an idiot. I just got us a dog and we have a baby on the way.”

  As if he’d just heard his own words he paled again. “Fuck,” he breathed.

  Shannon smiled but didn’t correct his language. They had a ways to go before he needed to curb his tongue. At least a little bit.

  Chapter Six

  ‡

  Duncan watched the interplay between John and Shannon. Most of the group watched the kids play with the puppy, but the interaction between his second in command and his new fiancée was much more interesting. There had been a lot of tension in that little corner of the room and he was tickled he got to see the shocked look on John’s face before he buried it in Shannon’s neck. Palmer didn’t show emotion like that very often. Duncan smiled to himself. He had an idea what they were talking about.

  Now to wait for the confirmation.

  For the first time in a long time he thought about Melanie. A few years ago he’d checked up on her. She’d married the guy she’d cheated on him with and they’d been out in Ohio somewhere. It had been almost eight years ago now that he’d come back after being blown up, hurting, only to have her walk out on him in the hospital.

  Damn.

  Eight years was a long time to be alone.

  Duncan jerked when little Drew slammed into him, laughing. When he looked up, most of the group had crowded around him. He grinned, embarrassed to be caught woolgathering. “What?”

  Chad stepped forward to speak for the group, his arm looped around Lora’s narrow shoulders. “Well, we wanted to get you something special for Christmas but you kind of have everything you need. Except one thing.”

  The crowd parted to reveal the hallway across the room. There, the shine of the multi-colored Christmas lights glinting off her dark auburn hair stood Dr. Alex Hartfield. Square black glasses framed laughing eyes and her lips were pursed in a mischievous smile as she watched his reaction. Unable to help himself, Duncan glanced down her frame. A gray sweater hugged her chest and rested lightly on her tight, jean-clad hips. When he looked up a spark had entered her vibrant green eyes, her lips had spread into a broad smile and she started to walk toward him.

  Oh, bloody hell…

  *

  Chad watched the play of emotions on Duncan’s face and knew they’d done the right thing. When he glanced around, John grinned at him, nodding his head. If Shannon hadn’t caught that call from the good doctor a few weeks ago they never would have known about her at all. But she’d called to see if Aiden had returned to Colorado. He’d checked out AMA the day after Duncan had left Kansas City. Shannon had confirmed that he hadn’t and they’d started to chat. Then the doctor had asked about Duncan.

  Shannon was smart enough to know the sound of a woman that was interested in a man and she’d given Alex enough information to keep that interest alive. When Chad had called Alex last week to invite her out for the Christmas party she’d been very interested, promising to try to work her schedule around it.

  And here she stood, looking more fabulous than Chad could have ever hoped. He’d never even seen a picture of her, but he could tell she was a nice woman. Duncan had always had a weakness for redheads. She was stunning.

  “She’s gorgeous,” Lora murmured.

  Chad looked down at his wife-to-be. “And she’s exactly Duncan’s type. Whether he wants to admit it or not. I hope he lets her in.”

  Pressing a kiss to the top of Lora’s soft blonde hair he pulled her into his arms. “So, Santa gave me a message.”

  She pulled back enough to grin up at him, brow quirked. “Oh, he did, huh?”

  Nodding, Chad started to sway with her in his arms. “Yes, he did. Miss Mercy wants an official family with an official dad. Apparently somebody told her at school that she couldn’t get a dad for Christmas, but she wants to prove them wrong.”

  Lora shook her head, laughing softly.

  “So, I thought maybe we could have Ember take an ‘official’ family photo for the late Christmas cards we have to send out.”

  Lora lifted a brow. “I already sent out the few cards I needed to.”

  “Well, maybe we can send out doubles. Or, better yet, maybe we can send a bunch to some of the guys stuck in the military hospitals?”

  Nodding, she continued to sway in his arms, rubbing her hands up his back.

  When they tracked her down a few minutes later Ember was more than willing to take their photo. Chad retrieved Mercy from where she’d been playing near the tree and swung her into his arms.

  “We have to get our official family picture taken,” he told her. “This is our first Christmas together. You look so pretty right now with your Christmas dress on and we need to send out a bunch of cards to our military buddies that are in the hospital. Are you ready to get your picture taken?”

  Mercy looked up at him, her big eyes swimming with tears as she nodded. “We’re going to be on cards? Together?”

  Chad nodded. “Is that okay? Your mom and I won’t be getting married till the spring, but it’s a good time for us to announce we’re a family. Right?”

  Her little head bobbed up and down. Chad sat in the big Santa chair with Lora on his lap. Then they both held a beaming Mercy. As the shutter snapped and the light flashed, Mercy pulled his arm tighter around her.

  *

  Duncan forced himself to lean back in the booth and try to look collected. Hard to do with Chad’s crazy-ass t-shirt on and an exquisite woman sitting across from him. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this madness. My men seem to think I’m in a rut.”

  She laughed, her lips a tempting shade of dark pink. “Well,” she murmured, voice teasing. “Maybe the rut isn’t easy to see to the person that’s in it.”

  Duncan tilted his head in agreement. “Perhaps. Can I get you a beer or a drink?”

  “I’ll take a beer.”

  Since no one had a spare in their hand Duncan pushed himself up out of the booth and limped to the bar. Zeke had already told them to help themselves to anything they wanted, so he found the cooler and dug out a couple of longnecks, then carried them back to the table.

  Alex smiled when she took hers. “My f
avorite. Thank you.”

  Blinking, he sank down onto the cushion. The brand was his favorite as well. For some reason he thought she’d be a little too good for a regular beer. It seemed a little low-class for her. But as he watched her lift the bottle to her lips, fingernails gleaming in the low bar light, she totally made it work. “I’m curious why you came out.”

  Pursing her lips, her eyes lifted to his. “Well, I called out to check on Mr. Willingham. You haven’t heard anything from him?”

  Duncan shook his head, sighing. “For some reason I didn’t think I would. He may show up later.”

  Alex looked sad at the news, but resigned. “Your office manager had told me that, but I was hoping maybe there was news. Do you come across vets like him a lot?”

  Duncan scraped at the beer label with his thumb. “More than I like to admit. We have a lot of veterans out there right now and they don’t always take care of themselves the way they should. We help the ones we can but we only have so much work to go around. I have more applicants than I can ever hope to place.”

  “Wow. I had no idea.” She frowned, fine lines creasing the skin between her eyebrows. “I mean, you see the war on the news but it seems very distant to regular, non-military people. I’m sorry if that sounds ungrateful.”

  Duncan shook his head, well aware that was how most of the country viewed them. “Not ungrateful. Normal.”

  He watched her take a drink from the bottle, her throat contracting with her swallow. Duncan wanted to lean forward to feel the movement.

  “So,” he continued, “you came out to check on Willingham. Any other reason?”

  She sat back in the booth and crossed her legs beneath the table, then folded her arms across her lap. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “Well, to be honest, I was curious about you as well. I thought about you after you left. A lot.”

  A blast of heat shot down through his body at her words, startling him, stirring his arousal. Damn, when had he last felt that?

  Duncan shifted in the seat wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with her. “Do you have a place to stay?” he asked her abruptly.