“Hi.” She had just had a bath; she had towel a wrapped around her hair. She smiled when she saw me.
“Hi, Beth. Come on in.” I walked through to the kitchen with her. “Do you want a drink?” she asked.
“No thanks.” If I had any more liquid, I think I would burst.
“So, what’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath.
“I wanted to talk.”
“OK. What about?”
“Marrying Jason.”
She looked a little surprised at me.
“What’s wrong? I thought you were both happy.”
“I was… I mean, I am, but I don’t know what to do.” Izzy began to look worried.
She said, “Oh, Beth. I can’t tell you, you have to decide for yourself. But I can tell you what ever you decide, I’ll be with you all the way.” I suppose that was all I could hope for. In my heart of hearts I knew I was the only one that had the answer. I just didn’t know what that answer was yet.
“Thanks, Izzy. I’ll see you later. I gotta go and do some thinking.”
“Good luck.”
By the time I got back to my house, it was five p.m. and eerily quiet. I opened my front door, and as I did I saw a little white envelope. Picking it up I saw “BETH” written on the front. Opening it, I lifted out a piece of paper. It was folded, so I opened it out to read it.
Dear Beth,
Please read this letter. Don’t throw it away. I heard that Jason has proposed to you. If this is true, then please listen to me. You don’t love him. I know that, and you do, too. We should be together. I love you and you love me. Don’t say that you don’t, as we both know that isn’t true. either. I haven’t seen you in weeks, and I miss you. I miss your touch and your kiss. Everything about you. When I’m with Sam, I am thinking of you. When I am with other people, I’m only thinking of you. Please don’t marry Jason. Meet with me again. If you will, then ring me on my cell phone.
I love you, Russell.
Well, that knocked me for six. I wasn’t expecting that. I went to sit down in the living room. This was just making it harder, why was Russell doing this to me? He knew we couldn’t be together because he was with Sam. He was out of bounds for me, and he knew that, too.
Well, one thing was for sure: I wasn’t going to ring him and I wasn’t going to meet him anywhere. I needed a drink, and the best person I knew to drink with was Megan. I jumped in the car, and sped round to her house as fast as I legally could. I rapped on her door. I could hear her coming. Good; she was home.
She opened the door and said, “Hi, Beth. What do you want?”
“Can I come in? I need a drink.”
“Sure.” She moved aside for me to enter.
A few hours later, after we finished our drinking, Meg ordered me a taxi. I got myself into the cab and lay out in the back. Megan told him where to drop me off. He sped off.
I think she must have paid him too, as when we got to my house, he just belted off as soon as I was out. I shrugged my shoulders and weaved my way to my front door, fiddling with my keys to find the right one. Eventually, I found it and put it in. Jason suddenly appeared on the stoop next to me, smiling.
“Hey, sexy,” he said.
“Don’t do that,” I slurred. “You scared me.”
“Are you OK?”
“Yes… I went to Meg’s.” I hiccuped. “An’ had a dink… I mean, a drink.” I was still trying to get the key back out of the opened door.
“Let me do that for you.” He pulled the key out for me and opened the door, swinging it wide for me “There you are.” As I walked in, I tripped and fell against Jason, getting tangled up with him. Both of us landed on the floor; me on top of him. We both started to laugh.
“Sorry.” I giggled and tried to catch my breath. Then we went quiet and he looked deep into my eyes.
“Beth… Marry me,” he said, with strong confidence in his voice. Without thinking, and without any hesitation, I answered him.
“Yes, Jason. I’ll marry you.”
CHAPTER 9
The next morning, my head felt as though I had a very large axe stuck in it. What did I do yesterday? I couldn’t remember a thing. Thinking back, I could remember bits like asking the girls for advice, and then going back for a drink ’round Meg’s. For some reason, Jason kept popping into my head. Did I see, or talk to him? Still unsure, I got out of my lonely double bed and went to have a shower.
With shampoo lathered in my hair and the hot water flowing down my back, I still was trying to put all the pieces back into the jigsaw puzzle. Then I stopped, suddenly. Was it me, or did I just hear someone downstairs?
Yes, I did, and that person was now coming up the stairs, heading for me. I was completely naked and wet! My adrenalin was now pumping through my veins. It was fight or flight. As quick as I could, I moved the curtain and grabbed my towel, leaving the water running behind me. Looking around the room, I tried to find a weapon.
Finally, I spotted my wooden scrub brush propped up next to the bath. I grabbed it, trying not to make any noise and waited behind the door. If that intruder walked in, he would get the shock of his life, and come to wish he’d never broken into this house!
Still waiting patiently, I could hear him walk into the bedroom (please go, please go!) Then the footsteps got closer, and closer (oh my god, here we go.) I prayed that he would think better of it, but the door began to move slowly and softly. It opened further. Swallowing hard and closing my eyes, I swung as hard as I could. As I hit the target, all I heard was his startled cry.
“Owww!”
The man hit the ground and I opened my eyes to see who it was. I gasped as I recognised the person I had just maimed.
“Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Jason, are you OK?” He was just sitting up now. I could tell from the look on his face he was dazed. When he was fully sat up, I pulled him to his feet as best as I could and guided him to the bedroom. He still hadn’t said a word.
“Jason speak to me, are you all right?” With his hand rubbing his head where I had struck him, he looked up at me.
“Why did you hit me?” he demanded.
“I… I thought I was being broken into.”
“Why would you think that?”
Suddenly I thought of something.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” I asked Jason.
He began to look confused.
“What do you mean, what am I doing here? I slept here last night. Don’t you remember?” He looked at his hand to see if there was any blood, then looked back to me.
“No.” I said, shaking my head.
“You came home drunk, and I was waiting for you.”
“Nope, nothing.”
“You couldn’t get the door open properly, so I helped you, and then you fell through the door on top of me.” I shook my head again. This was getting embarrassing; how much did I have to drink last night? Jason was impatient and irritated now. “Look, I came over to wait for you. When you came you were drunk so I helped you with the door and you fell on me.”
“Oh, right. Anything else I should know?” I started to move towards the stairs to go down and get Jason an ice pack for his head.
“Nothing, except that you accepted my proposal,” Jason said mildly. I stopped in my tracks. My legs turning to jelly, I held on to the banister. What did he just say?
“You do remember, don’t you, Beth?” I turned slowly, to face him. The look on his face was an “about to be heartbroken” sort of face. I sighed.
“Of course, I remember… now.” I smiled at him. “I’m just going to get that ice pack for you, and some painkillers for my head. Will you be all right for a minute?”
“Yes.” He nodded. As if in slow motion, I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I put my head in my hands. What had I done? More importantly, what was I going to do now?
My head was banging like I had just been hit. I pulled open the cupboard, grabbed the paracetomol, put some ice in a tea towel and took it back up the stairs to
Jason.
“Why don’t we go out for a meal today to celebrate?” he asked as soon as he saw my head pop back into view.
Oh, God. How was I going to get out of this? What an idiot I was.
“Yeah, that sounds nice,” I said. I tried to act enthusiastic. I think I pulled it off, but I wasn’t into it at all. I knew I’d made a mistake.
“Great, where do you want to go?”
“I really don’t mind, Jason. You choose.” I gave a deep sigh.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just my head.” I lied.
“OK, leave it to me, and I’ll take care of it.” I nodded my head, and Jason began to get up.
“Are you feeling better now?” I asked, tentatively. I was worried that he might crumple in front of me at any second.
“I’m fine, don’t fuss.” He smiled, then winced slightly as he moved his head. Off he went, down the stairs. The next thing I heard was Jason on the phone. I could only guess it was to the restaurant. Two minutes later he called up the stairs.
“Beth, it’s booked for 12.”
“I’ll get ready.” I shouted back down. I looked at my watch. It was half past 10.
As we walked through the doors of the restaurant, the maitre d’ was standing behind his podium with what was probably an habitual sneer on his face. This was definitely a posh restaurant. Most of the furnishings were trimmed in gold (the prices were too, I expect) with red sashes left, right and centre. We walked up to the desk and his sneer turned into a forced attempt at a smile.
“Yes sir, can I help you?” he asked.
Jason smiled back.
“Yes, I have a table booked for 12 under the name ‘Allman.’ ”
The maitre d’ looked through his bookings. Finally, he found our reservation.
“Ah, yes. If you would care to step this way, please, sir.” He moved his hand, beckoning us to go forward. When we got to our table, he pulled out the chair for me. I obliged him by sitting down. When we were both seated, the maitre d’ stretched a pained grin across his face again and left. We began to read the menus and decide on what we wanted to eat.
To me it was all too posh, and every person in the restaurant was much too snobby. I just didn’t feel comfortable in a place like this. The food wasn’t my cup of tea, with thing like squid and octopus available.
I went for the only normal thing on the menu (which was chicken salad) and filled up on the bread on the table. Jason ordered a lovely bottle of white wine to go with the chicken. The food didn’t take long to arrive at the table and it tasted nice enough. For dessert, I had a chocolate mousse. All in all, at the end of the meal, we were both happy and full. Jason paid the bill, which I refused to look at.
Walking back to the car, Jason stopped still. I turned ’round to look at him, wondering why he had stopped.
“Beth” he said.
“Yes, Jason?” I hated when anybody took this long to say something to me, as normally what they were about to say I wasn’t going to like.
“I brought this, in case you wanted to wear it.” From under his coat he produced a tiny burgundy box. I knew what it was instantly. It was the ring he originally proposed to me with, the first time. I swallowed hard, I was going to have to wear it, as I couldn’t think of a way out.
Jason held out the small box to me. Reaching out a shaking hand, I took the box and opened it. There sat the bright, sparkling diamond. Taking ring out, I gently pushed it on my finger. I looked up at Jason, and smiled just like I really wanted to wear it. Jason beamed back at me. He leaned in, kissed me on the lips and whispered in my ear, “I love you, Beth.”
I smiled and replied, “Me, too.”
Then it started to rain. We both ran to the car.
In the car, Jason began to drive home. The silence was a good feeling, with the rain crashing down all around the car. It lasted all the way back to my house. Jason switched the engine off, and undid his seat belt to turn and face me.
“Hey, I’ve just had a thought. How would you like to meet my family? I mean, I’ve met yours, and it just seems fitting that I introduce you to mine. What do you think?”
I could think of no reason why not. It might be nice to meet his family. It might also put a different perspective on this whole engagement thing.
“Yes, that would be nice.” I smiled. We got out of the car, and went into the house. I went upstairs to get into my pyjamas, while Jason put the kettle on for a drink. While upstairs, I had the time to sit down in my bedroom and clear my mind for five minutes. Thinking things through, I slid the ring off my finger and lay it down gently in my top drawer.
This wasn’t a good thing, what I did today. I needed to turn this into a positive, and meeting Jason’s parents might just be the very thing I needed to do so. After that, I felt a little better about the situation. I took a deep breath, and began down the stairs.
I could hear Jason’s voice getting louder and clearer as I descended the stairs. He was on the phone to, presumably, his parents. I walked to the kitchen, poured myself a drink of hot tea, then carried on into the living room. Jason was on the house phone. I sat on the sofa to watch the telly.
“OK, Mum. Brilliant. We’ll see you and Dad then… Yes, OK… You, too. ’Bye.” Jason put the phone down, and turned to face me. “Well, that’s set, then. They are expecting us next Tuesday.”
“Right, good.” I smiled nervously at him. Jason smiled back and took hold of my hand. Lifting it up, he paused to look at it.
“Where’s your ring gone?” he asked, looking at me with a puzzled face. I wasn’t sure what to say back. “I don’t want to marry you,” probably wasn’t going to go down very well.
“Um, my finger was itching. I didn’t want to take it off and lose it, so I put it in my drawer upstairs. I think I just need to get used to it being there.” I smiled sweetly at him and hoped nothing else would be said, but I could tell that he was a little upset.
The next few days flowed smoothly by, until Monday arrived. Morning went well, following my usual routine. It was only when I got home that the day began to go downhill. I opened the front door, stepped through, closing it behind me. As I did, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that there was something white on the floor by the coat stand. My heart flew and sunk, all at the same time. Without even looking in the envelope, I immediately knew who it was from.
Beth,
I miss you, I know that you will be angry that I’ve sent you yet another letter, but I’ve got to talk to you. It’s none of my business, but I’ve been hearing a lot about you and Jason. I need to know if it’s all true or not. I’m freaking out a little about it. I’ve also got something to tell you, but I want to do it face to face and not in a short note. Please meet with me again. Tomorrow, at Pic ‘N’ Save car park, at 11. We need to talk. I still feel for you, as much as ever.
Russell. xxx
What was he trying to do to me? Yes, I felt the same way, but I was trying to get on with my life and leave this stupid affair behind me. Obviously, Russell wasn’t.
I was, of course, going to meet with him. Why? Simple reasons, really; because I was stupid and insane. Well, at least I had my story straight, if I went down for this! The rest of that Monday night I was in a bit of a dream. It was good that I was home alone. Jason was over at his place that night. I don’t know what excuse I would have used for my preoccupation, if he had been around me.
I went to bed earlier than usual. I honestly don’t know why though, as all I did was lie awake under the covers. Eventually, I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remember was waking up and it was morning.
Tuesday morning! This was the day for two pretty major events. Meeting up with Russell again; and meeting Jason’s family. While getting ready in the bathroom, I found I must have been wound tighter than I thought. At one point, I rushed to the toilet and vomited my breakfast back up.
I put on my fanciest makeup, then twisted up my hair so it would fall just so with thin pieces ar
ound my face to frame it. Not to look overdone, I wore my blue jeans and a red and black t-shirt. With a last look in the full-length mirror, I smiled and went to the car.
Sat in my car, listening to a CD, I glanced at my watch. It was five to 11. My stomach was in a thousand knots. I took a deep breath and leaned back against the head rest with my eyes closed, trying to slow my heart rate down. There was loud rapping on the driver’s side window. Leaping out my seat wasn’t the accurate way to describe what happened. Put it this way: I could have scraped my brain off the car roof with how hard I hit it!
“Russell, you scared the shit out of me!” I moaned, whilst rubbing the top of my head.
“Sorry, Beth. I didn’t mean to. I thought you saw me,” he replied with a tinge of regret in his voice.
“Get in the car, then,” I said.
Russell moved ’round until he was at the passenger side door and slid in to the seat.
“Thanks for coming, Beth. I didn’t think you would, you know.” He half-smiled.
“I didn’t think I would either,” I replied, mirroring his smile. “So, what do you want to talk about?” I placed my hands in my lap, and looked at him to soak up all the beauty his face had to offer.
“Sam.”
I looked at him with confusion filling my face. “What about Sam?”
“She’s driving me crazy, and I don’t know what to do.”
“What’s she doing that’s so bad?”
He began rubbing the back of his neck, as though it was sore from sleeping in an uncomfortable position.
“She’s going out all the time, all we do is argue, we’ve stopped sleeping together... The list is endless.”
“Whoa, that’s too much information! Look, Russell; just talk to her. She’ll understand.”
His head turned to look out the side window.
After a moment, he said, “What if I don’t want to, Beth?”
I sighed. I could guess why he was saying that, but when I looked at his face, I could tell that he was really sad and hurting. I could feel a lump rising in my dry throat. I pulled my hand through my hair; I could also sense I had a headache coming.
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