“Russell, whatever you do, please don’t break her heart. I would never be able to forgive you if you did.”
He turned to face me, but he didn’t give me a reply to my last question. He just sat quietly looking at me. I could feel my heart pound. I loved being in his company; I just wished that it was under different circumstances. At that moment, I felt a little anger towards Sam for meeting him first.
Breaking from his gaze, I leaned my head on the steering wheel. It felt nice and cool on my forehead. I needed it.
“Beth?”
“Hmmm?” I replied. I didn’t lift my head up. I was relaxed where I was. I listened to birds singing and tree branches moving in the wind.
“I’ve got a question to ask you, so please, don’t get mad,” Russell said.
“OK.” I nodded.
“Is it true that you’re now engaged?”
I lifted my head from the steering wheel, and looked at him again.
Looking into his eyes, I could see that he looked older than before. If I was doing that to him, then why was he torturing himself?
“Yes.”
He sighed.
“This is a permanent decision?” At that point, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope in his eyes. However much I hated to do so, I was now going to dash that hope.
“At the moment?” I took a pause and looked down to the steering wheel. Suddenly, feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach, I said, “Yes. It is.”
I allowed myself to glance up at his sculptured profile. Honestly, I wish I hadn’t, because even though he was looking out through the windscreen, the pain on his face was unmistakable. For a little while, we sat there in complete silence. I was at a loss as to what to do. Eventually, I had to say something.
“Russell, I’m sorry that it had to end like this. Can we still be friends?”
He looked thoughtful for a minute or two.
“Look Beth, I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. but if this is what you want, and you’re happy… really, truly, happy; then I’ll leave you alone. I’ll just be your friend and nothing more.”
I twisted my watch around my wrist, trying to waste some time and delay answering that question. As I did, I looked at the time and realised that I was running late. I had to get ready to go to Jason’s parents’ for dinner.
“Russell, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. Is there anywhere I can drop you?”
For a moment he looked a little knocked-off-balance.
“Um, no. It’s OK. Beth, you didn’t answer my question.”
I panicked for a few seconds, and got a bit flustered. Then I did what I always did when I was backed into a corner: I got mad!
“Russell, I’ve answered all the questions that I deem relevant to me. Now please, get out of the car! I’m running late and I need to go.”
“I’m sorry, Beth. Don’t be angry with me. I’ll see you soon?”
He began to edge closer, but I realised quickly what he was about to do.
“GO… NOW!!”
With that, he backed off and began to step out of the car. As his feet hit the concrete, I slammed my foot on the accelerator with such force that the door he had been holding banged shut.
Once I was far enough away from where I had been with Russell, I stopped the car in a quiet car park near a nature trail. Sitting there, I kept going over the conversation that I’d just had. He wanted me, and I wanted him, but we couldn’t be together. The pain and torment that Russell was going through broke my heart.
That didn’t matter though, as I was getting married… Married to a man that I didn’t love. My heart lay so heavy, I thought it might burst. I let my emotions loose instead. I don’t think that I’ve ever cried as hard or as long. Wiping my eyes with a tissue I pulled from the glove compartment, I looked at my watch again and saw that I had two hours before Jason came to pick me up. I looked in the mirror to see that my eyes were puffy and red. Thank God that Jason couldn’t see me now, nor anyone else. I took a deep breath and started the engine to drive home. My mobile phone began to ring. I picked it up. Speak of the devil, it was Jason.
“Hi, Beth, where are you?” he asked.
“I’m just finishing a few errands that I had to do. Why?” I was trying to sound as normal as I could. I don’t know if I was managing it; my hands were still shaking.
“I just called ’round yours, and you weren’t there, that’s all. Are you OK?”
Obviously, I wasn’t doing a good job of hiding the fact that I’d just had a near nervous breakdown.
“Yeah, why do you ask?” I replied.
“Your voice sounds a little strange. Well, don’t forget, I’m coming ’round yours at five,” he said.
“I’ll see you later.”
Then he was gone. I hoped that he believed me when I said that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. Well, I’d find out later.
After getting home at four, I had an hour to rush to get myself ready. Still with Russell squarely on my mind, I tried to clean up as best as I could. Looking at the finished effort, I told myself that I didn’t look half-bad.
I’d decided that tonight I was going all-out to impress, so I put on a beautiful red dress. It had been in my wardrobe for a long time because I’d had no occasion on which to wear it. My hair was up in a French twist and a diamante comb was stuck in down the side of the twist.
As I finished admiring my reflection, the doorbell rang. I thought that I would be nervous, but my heart rate was fine. I answered the door with a beaming smile. When Jason looked at me, his jaw dropped like something from a cartoon.
“Wow, you look amazing, Beth!”
I smiled sweetly and thanked him for the compliment. The drive to Jason’s parents’ was half an hour, so to make the trip go quicker, Jason told me a bit about his family. He explained that he had a twin sister, Emma, and detailed some of the things they used to get up to. They sounded just like Sam and me.
After I thought about that, the rest of what he was telling me went more or less unheard, as all I could think of was Russell. Well, Sam too, but I tried to blot her out of my mind. All I wanted to see was Russell. I would never tell anyone that, though.
Every now and then, I heard bits of whatever Jason was saying. I think he spoke of his mum, and I’m sure he said what she did for a living, but like I said, I was only half-listening. I know Jason mentioned his dad, and that he liked golf. From then on I did my best to listen better, just in case.
When we arrived at our destination, I realised I’d had nothing since breakfast and was now starving. I just hoped my stomach stayed quiet. Now, that would be embarrassing! I was glad I’d had the forethought to bring my shawl with me. Even though we only had to walk from the car to the door, it was freezing out. I pulled the shawl tighter around me and Jason draped his thick, warm arm ’round me, too. He must have noticed my teeth were chattering.
Finally, the door opened, and I was glad to feel the house’s heated air flow our onto my icy cheeks. I smiled, in greeting, at the young woman who opened the door. She looked back at me with glee. I could only imagine that this was Jason’s sister. She held her slender hand out to me. I noticed that her long hair and eyes were colored the same as Jason’s. It became evident within a few minutes of being in her company that their personalities were much alike, too.
“Hello, nice to meet you, Beth. Can I call you Beth?” Emma asked.
“Yes, of course,” I replied.
I looked back at Jason, and he understood straightaway.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Beth, this is Emma, my sister.”
I turned back to Emma.
“Hi, nice to meet you,” I said. “I’ve heard lots about you. and it’s nice to finally put a face to the name.” Emma smiled once again. I noticed an older man behind her. He had a grin that matched Jason and Emma’s.
By this point, we were in the entry hall. The man stood just shy of Jason’s six foot two.
“This, Beth, is my fantastic father, Stuart.”
<
br /> I again I smiled sweetly and said my most feminine hello.
Stuart said, “My, Jason. She is a beauty. You weren’t wrong there. Lovely to meet you, my dear.”
“Dad, where’s Mum?”
Jason took my hand, and walked into the living room.
“She’s upstairs. Just finishing off preening herself,” Stuart said.
I took a seat next to the blazing coal fire that had been lit. Jason walked out of the living room, and left me with his Dad and sister. The next thing I could hear were voices in the hallway. Then the voices began to get louder, so I presumed they were coming into the living room. As I thought it, Jason stepped into the room again.
He said, “This is my Mother, Beth. Mum, this is Beth.”
The woman walked out from behind Jason. Looking at her, my heart dropped to my boots. I had already met this lady. Suddenly I didn’t feel so hungry anymore. Instead, I felt sick! Sicker than I’d felt in a long time.
Jason’s mother was the barmaid that had served Russell and me, when we had first met up together!
CHAPTER 10
From the way that she was stared at me, I was beginning to think that Jason’s mum recognised me, too. I stood there like a statue. I didn’t know what to do. Eventually, she held her hand out towards me and smiled. Well, it was more of a sneer.
I took a side glance at Jason. He seemed fine, so I guess nobody suspected anything… at the minute. His mum then walked out of the room, mumbling something about going to finish the tea. When she had left the room, my nerves and sweating subsided and I began to relax. Jason grabbed my hand and pulled me down towards the sofa. When we were sat, he wound his arms around me, like the lovebirds that we were supposed to be. Then there was silence.
“So Beth, would you like a drink?” Jason’s dad asked me, with a twinkle in his eye.
“Yes, please,” I told him.
“What would you like? We have tea, coffee, something fizzy or, of course, you can have something stronger, if you like.” He grinned as he said the last option. I was beginning to think that Jason’s dad was a bit of a player. Don’t get me wrong, he was nice and all that, but he definitely wasn’t my type. He was a casual dresser; dark navy blue khakis and short sleeved shirt. At a guess, I would have said that he was in his mid-to-late 50s.
I smiled sweetly and tried to look cute as a button.
“I’ll have something stronger, please.”
“Lager, vodka, gin?”
“A lager, please.”
With that, he disappeared from the room and went to get me the drink. I sat there, quiet for a little while. Jason and Emma were in conversation. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. This was a modest house, from what I’d already seen. The living room was cosy and tidy. It had a burgundy and cream colour theme. On one side, there was a cream corner sofa and paintings of Paris on the walls.
The paintings were wonderful. They were so lifelike that it seemed if you got too close, you might find yourself sipping coffee and eating croissants on a little wrought-iron garden table in a wonderful regal courtyard.
On the other side of the room, there sat a flat screen TV, a leather two-seater sofa and some more paintings. This time, though, they were countryside scenes; they may have been French, too, but I couldn’t say for sure. There were also some flowers in a fancy pot. That was about it for the contents of the room.
When I got bored of dissecting their front room, my mind began to wander to a place that it ought not to go. I felt melancholy thinking about him. I wondered if he was OK and what he was doing right at this minute. Was he thinking of me and what I was doing? Or was he lying through all of this; doing very well having his cake and almost eating it, too?
I snapped back to reality when Jason’s dad shoved a glass filled to the brim with a golden liquid into my waiting hand.
“Thanks.” I smiled warmly.
“You’re very welcome, lovely.”
He smiled back, and went to sit in his seat again.
This evening was already beginning to take its toll on me. I just hoped that no one else was feeling it, as well. I thought his mother might be an exception. Speaking of which, I’d been there for the better part of an hour and she hadn’t come back into the room once. I daren’t ask Jason if she liked me, I might get an answer neither of us wanted to hear.
It was now half past six, and I doubt that I would be home before 12. I had a long time to go yet.
“So what do you do for a living, Beth?”
I turned my head to see Jason’s sister looking at me. Again, this brought me back into the room.
“Um, I’m a hairdresser.”
“That’s cool. Do you work in a salon, or do you do it mobile?”
I took a sip of my drink.
“Mobile. I found I could make more money that way.”
This time, I took a larger gulp of my drink. It was beginning to hit the spot now I was starting to feel warm inside. I think at that point, I realised that the drink wasn’t lager. It was something much stronger. I wasn’t complaining, though. It was doing the job, and I was starting to feel a little light-headed!
“How long have you been doing that for, now?” Emma asked.
“Gosh. Well, I went into it after I finished school, so about… 16 years now.”
Emma raised her eyebrows in amazement.
“Wow, that’s quite an accomplishment.”
I replied with as much courtesy as I could muster, “Thank you.”
That was where our conversation dried up. I took another mouthful of drink, trying desperately not to pour it down my throat all in one swift move.
“So... Um... Have you set a date yet?” Emma asked. I think this was her way of keeping me interested.
I looked at Jason, not knowing what to say. Jason took the lead.
“No, not yet. It’s early days, really.”
Again, I just smiled. I wanted as little as possible of this line of talk. This was still a sore subject, as far as I was concerned. I was still annoyed that I had said yes to him, but the topic had legs.
“Do you know how many bridesmaids you’re having?” I think she was hinting with this question. Again, Jason did the honors.
“No, Emma. We really haven’t spoken about it. Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll be in there, somewhere,” he finished, chuckling.
“Jase, that’s not what I meant by asking that question!” Emma replied, playfully swatting him on the arm. He grabbed her in a tight embrace and swung her gently ’round.
“I know. I’m only pulling your leg.” Jason came and sat back down next to me.
Jason and his twin were really close; closer than Sam and me. This was surprising and a little bit disturbing. After all this lovey-dovey crap, I was beginning to like Jason’s family less and less. There was a mother who obviously knew too much, a sister that was more like a lover and a dad that leched over anything in a skirt! This just wasn’t my thing. I would be glad when this was over and I could go home to my almost-normal life and never see any of this family again.
For the next half hour or so, I just sat there in-between Jason and Emma, and listened to them reminisce. I nodded, smiled and said yes or no in all the right places.
Finally, two hours after I arrived, his mother (the “secret-knowing old bitch,” as I now mentally referred to her) walked into where we were all sat, and declared that tea was ready. Walking into the dining room I was completely gob-smacked! This room was not at all like the living room. Every inch of wall space was covered in something. There were numerous glass cabinets, filled with, what looked like, expensive bone china, glass, and porcelain figurines.
There were also more paintings, but this time there were many more around the room. Again, they all had a French and/or countryside theme going on. The curtains that filled the windows were a deep crimson red with a cream lace frill all around the edges. The table was so large that it almost filled the room. It was made of a dark mahogany wood and had a cream runner all the
way down the length of it.
She had also laid out, it looked like, their best plates and bowls. With silver knives, forks, and spoons spread out like tiny soldiers on parade. There were even crystal wine glasses, which, I for one, was intending to use to the fullest extent. They had gone the whole nine yards tonight. All for their son’s mystery girlfriend, who was nothing but a filthy liar, and a cheat!
I suddenly began to feel bad. After all, it wasn’t Jason and his family that were in the wrong. It was me. I had done something bad. Mind you, not as bad as I had wanted to, but still, bad nonetheless. For the rest of the evening, however rotten I was feeling, however much his mum actually knew about what happened that day or however much I wanted to see Russell right that second, I was determined to sit there and smile.
I would eat the food that was put before me and listen to all the old stories. Jason’s mum scowled at me occasionally while I gulped down my chicken and vegetables in which she had probably spat.
For the next few minutes, all that could be heard was the bang and clatter of knives and forks as the family ate like ravenous prisoners. I kept my head down and forced tiny forkfuls into my mouth hoping that someone would make conversation. I don’t know if everyone could feel the tension, or if it was just me.
Jason must have felt how quiet it was, also. He began a conversation about the weather. Oh my God, this was like hell come to greet me early!
I looked at my watch as discreetly as I could. It was only a quarter to eight! Life started to drain out of me quickly. Glancing up after I placed yet another forkful in, I noticed that Jason was smiling sheepishly at me. I could only guess that he knew how bored I was, and was apologizing. An apparent apology made me feel even worse.
I gave him a smile that said, I’m having a great time. Towards the end of the evening, after dinner, I got up to go to the bathroom. In there, I straightened my dress and reapplied my lipstick. I walked back out through the kitchen. As I turned the corner, I almost walked into Jason’s mum.
My heart rate rose. I said, “Sorry,” smiled, and went to go ‘round her.
Betrayal Page 12