Wish List (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 2)

by Helen Harper

  For the first time, a flash of real anger sparked in Ethan’s blue eyes. ‘An official apology?’ he asked. ‘An official fucking apology?’

  The troll whose hand was wrapped round my neck responded to his anger by tightening his grip.

  Ethan hissed, ‘I might not have been born when my kind were almost wiped out but I’ve heard the stories. Have you? Men, women and children crushed by an avalanche of rocks, the very breath squeezed out of them without any warning. No chance to run. No opportunity to get away. Just tonnes and tonnes of rock raining down onto their heads. Nobody escaped.’

  He shook his head. ‘Not one single troll got away that day. The only reason any of us survived is because the old and infirm, plus those who cared for them, couldn’t make the journey. Otherwise we’d have been wiped out of existence. And all because the faery godmothers decided to grant the wish of an obscure Welsh landowner who wanted a reason to stop his land being mined. Your lot,’ he spat the word, ‘your supposed miracle workers didn’t even check to see who was there beforehand. You waved your stupid wands and created a massacre.’

  He breathed in, obviously trying to control himself. ‘And then, to add insult to injury, you covered it up. You pretended it didn’t happen. You,’ his voice shook, ‘acted as if we trolls had never even existed in the first place. But then, we weren’t important enough to care about, were we? We weren’t fucking faeries.’

  Ethan’s anguish was still raw. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to put myself in his shoes. I’d never be able to appreciate fully what it meant to be a troll, or to feel what Ethan felt, but that didn’t mean I didn’t agree with him that we faeries deserved our comeuppance. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I am genuinely, truly sorry.’

  He stared into my eyes. The flare of fury in his eyes died away. ‘I believe you are,’ he said. His jaw tightened. ‘But that won’t change anything.’ He tilted his head and focused on the cauldron. He was set on this course.

  Desperate now, I clawed at anything that might help. ‘Destroying the cauldron and ending the faery godmothers isn’t going to make you feel any better. It won’t reincarnate your ancestors or turn back time. It’ll make things worse. You’ll be inciting all-out war.’

  Ethan affected an expression of insouciance. ‘So be it.’

  ‘We change humans’ lives for the better,’ I persisted.

  ‘I don’t care.’

  I gritted my teeth. ‘Well, I do. I can’t let you do this.’

  Ethan laughed. ‘You don’t have a choice.’

  A triumphant female voice rang out. ‘I’ve got it!’ I looked over and saw that she was waving a wish card. ‘I’ve got it right here! This is the wish that will prove what those bastards did to us.’

  Ethan turned away from me. I was no longer important to him.

  The troll trotted over and handed him the card. He glanced down at it, satisfaction written all over his handsome face. ‘Well done, Tess. Now we really can win.’ He smiled at the small assembly of trolls. ‘Destroy it,’ he commanded. ‘Destroy it all.’

  I shrieked, drawing on all the weak magical energy left inside me and coalescing it in one fell swoop. Magic burst forth, exploding in a wave of purple light with the sort of power and scope that I hadn’t believed myself capable of.

  The troll holding my neck was blown backwards and so were most of the other trolls. Ethan staggered; he managed to stay on his feet but only just. I yelled my own battle cry as loudly as I could, then I threw myself at him like a crazed bull. It was sheer adrenaline that was moving me now. If I’d stopped to think about what I was doing, I’d never have managed it.

  I slammed into Ethan’s torso. His hands lunged towards me, grabbing a hank of my hair. I screeched, banshee-like, and kicked wildly. When that didn’t seem to work, I started to pummel him with my fists, raining punches on whichever part of his body I could land them.

  Ethan jerked his head back and then whipped it forward in a stunning head butt.

  I went flying, skidding across the floor, the breath knocked out of me. Whatever sudden burst I’d managed to conjure up was gone in the blink of an eye and I no longer had the energy to move. I lay on my back like a broken thing. Gasping for air was all that I was capable of.

  Ethan walked over, his face looming over me. ‘I told you that we are not in the business of killing,’ he said. ‘But I’m wholly prepared to make an exception in your case.’ He bowed his head. ‘My condolences to your family.’

  He reached out his palm, holding it to one side. I blinked, my vision blurry, as one of the other trolls placed what looked oddly like a gun onto it. Ethan held it up, pointing the muzzle towards me. ‘It’s just as well,’ he said, ‘that we came prepared.’

  From out of nowhere there was a high-pitched cry and what sounded like barking. ‘Leave her al—’

  Ethan turned and pulled the trigger. It seemed to me that Rose kept going for a few seconds, as if she didn’t believe that she’d been shot. The blossom of blood on her chest was unmistakable but she still reached Ethan, grabbing his shirt and glaring at him in the way that only Rose could. Then the light in her eyes began to fade and she collapsed.

  No. Tears pricked at my eyes but I forced them back. I mustered everything that was left to me and rolled over to her side. I fumbled for the wound, pressing down hard on it in an attempt to staunch the blood, but it continued to pump out of her and leak over my fingers.

  ‘Rose!’

  Her eyelids fluttered open and she looked at me. ‘I did it,’ she whispered to me. ‘I didn’t die in a hospital bed. I died fighting.’

  ‘You’re not dead yet!’

  She smiled slightly. ‘Grant my wish, Saffron.’

  ‘Rose…’

  ‘Grant it.’

  My head dropped. ‘I will.’

  Rose relaxed and her eyes closed. I gasped, assailed by heartache and pain. ‘Do something,’ I begged Ethan. ‘Save her. Use your magic.’

  ‘I can’t.’ His voice sounded strange, disembodied.

  ‘She’s not a fucking faery godmother! She’s human!’

  ‘I can’t do anything. She’s already gone.’

  I shook my head. ‘She’s not. She’s still here. She’s…’

  Pumpkin whined and nudged Rose, then he turned and licked my bloody hand. I moaned. Rose’s chest rose one last time before she let out a final, delicate shudder and her body sank into itself.

  For a long moment, no one spoke. I stopped trying to hold back my tears and let them fall freely as if this were some sort of faery tale and I could heal her through my own salty pain.

  ‘Destroy the cauldron,’ Ethan said, turning away. ‘And let’s get out of here.’

  Pumpkin growled. He bared his teeth and launched himself at the troll, all white fur and fangs. I cried out in a weak attempt to stop him. I couldn’t let Pumpkin die too. Then, from somewhere outside, there was the sound of an explosion and all hell broke loose.

  Screams and shouts filled the air. Movement blurred around me. I heard a cacophony of familiar voices – Alicia, Angela, Rupert and more. Something hot and unfamiliar grabbed me and I felt myself being hauled upwards. I blinked, trying to work out what was happening. I saw Pumpkin half a foot away, gripped under one of Ethan’s arms. I was gripped by the other.

  Jasper’s dark, furious features swam into view. ‘Let her go.’

  ‘The faery?’ Ethan enquired. ‘Or the dog?’

  ‘Both,’ Jasper growled. He seemed to grow in stature with every word. ‘You know who I am. You know what I’m capable of. I’ve not been poisoned this time. Harm one hair on her head and I will end you.’

  I was certain I was about to vomit. I heard Ethan chuckle. This was not the time for laughter, I thought dimly; this was the time for wailing and renting of clothes. I tried to shake my head to clear my vision but all that did was make me feel more dizzy.

  ‘You care for her,’ Ethan said. ‘It’s written all over your face.’ He laughed again. ‘Who would have thought that
the mighty Devil’s Advocate would be weakened by a mere faery godmother?’

  ‘I’m going to count to three,’ Jasper replied. ‘And then you will release her.’

  I struggled against Ethan’s arm but it was no good. I no longer had the strength to fight him.

  ‘I don’t think so. There are more of us than there are of you. And I still have a gun.’ I heard a click and felt something warm and metallic press against my temple.

  ‘Sure,’ Jasper said, ‘but we have the home advantage. Pull that trigger and this will not go well for you.’ His words sliced through the air. ‘It’s already not going well for you.’

  There was a beat of silence before Ethan spoke again. ‘We knew what we were walking in to. We knew that no matter how carefully we prepared, we might not make it out of here alive. Our cause is worth it.’

  ‘No, it’s not,’ Jasper said quietly. ‘There’s still a way out. Don’t destroy yourselves.’

  ‘We’re not the only remaining trolls,’ Ethan snarled. ‘Don’t think this is all of us.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. If you continue down this road,’ Jasper told him, ‘there won’t be any trolls left anywhere on this planet. I’ll see to it personally.’

  My legs felt weak. If Ethan hadn’t been holding me up, I couldn’t have stayed upright. I licked my lips and tried to speak. Nothing useful came out.

  ‘I demand safe passage for me and my people,’ Ethan declared. ‘Once we are safely out of this building, I’ll let little Saffron go.’

  I tried to speak again. ‘Don’t do it, Jasper,’ I whispered. ‘He killed Rose. Don’t let him get away.’ I was barely conscious but the rage I felt at what had happened to the old woman was sustaining me. If Jasper didn’t end Ethan, I would. She hadn’t deserved that – she shouldn’t have gone that way. I’d brought her here to ensure her safety and instead all I’d ensured was her death. She…

  ‘Fine,’ Jasper said. ‘But try anything funny – in fact, try anything at all – and there won’t even be troll bones left for the crows to pick over.’

  ‘No,’ I protested. ‘Not like this.’ It was too late. Ethan was already pulling me away.

  It seemed to take an age. The other trolls surrounded us in a tight circle as we descended in the lift to the ground floor. The jazzy muzak that burbled out of the speakers felt like a slap in the face. I wanted something ominous, a funereal dirge. I didn’t want this. But it didn’t appear that I was going to be able to make any decisions about anything. The most I could do was force myself to stay awake. I wouldn’t black out. I still had fight in me. I owed it to Rose.

  The lift doors slid open. Ethan’s hand tightened round my waist as he dragged me forward. A burst of cold air hit me in the face. We were outside and Ethan was about to get away.

  There was a screech of wheels and a van pulled up. The back doors opened and the other trolls lunged for the rear, piling inside.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Ethan said.

  I swung my head and gazed at him. ‘I hate you,’ I croaked. ‘You killed her.’

  His face was pale underneath his tan. ‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘I didn’t mean to. She came out of nowhere and I reacted. Nobody was supposed to die tonight.’

  The tears were running freely down my face. ‘But she did! Rose did! She was nothing to you. She … she…’ I gulped in air.

  ‘It was a mistake.’ His blue eyes blinked at me sadly. ‘Now,’ he added more quietly, but not without callousness, ‘you know a little of what it feels like.’

  He released me and I fell to my knees on the cold, hard pavement. Ethan turned away and climbed into the passenger seat of the van. Something small and white fluttered out of his pocket onto the road and my eyes fixed on it. A moment later, the van’s engine revved. When I looked up again, it was disappearing into the darkness at the end of the street.

  I started to sob, pain wracking my chest. Something cold and wet nudged at my hand and I glanced down at Pumpkin. He opened his mouth, and the white card that Ethan had dropped fell into my lap. I stared at it, unseeing, before I shook myself and shoved it into my back pocket. Then Jasper was by my side, gathering me into his arms.

  ‘How could you be so stupid, Saffron?’ he murmured, holding me tight as if he were afraid that I’d slip away. ‘How could you go up there and try to take them on by yourself?’ His voice cracked. ‘I thought I’d lost you.’

  I looked into the warmth of his green eyes. Finally, I loosened my hold on my own consciousness and let the darkness take over.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  When I walked back into the office two days later, I wasn’t sure what I’d find. The lobby was empty apart from Mrs Jardine, who was sitting primly at her desk, fountain pen in hand.

  ‘Good morning, Saffron,’ she said. ‘It’s good to see that you’re here on time for morning briefing.’

  I grunted at her. Now I knew how this was going to go: I’d head upstairs and be told in no uncertain terms to clear out my desk. The Office of Faery Godmothers had almost been destroyed because of me. Worse, my client had lost her life because of me. I deserved to get the sack.

  I couldn’t raise more than a grumbled reply to the faery receptionist. ‘Morning, Mrs Jardine.’ I plodded up to the register and pressed my down thumbprint.

  ‘Miranda.’

  I looked up, confused. ‘Huh?’

  She leaned across and patted my arm. ‘Call me Miranda.’ She glanced down at my feet and frowned darkly. I spotted the spray bottle of disinfectant at the side of her desk. Ah yes. I’d forgotten about Pumpkin’s little accident and had never had the chance to clean it up.

  I stared at her, waiting for her admonishment, but she merely sniffed, turned away and busied herself opening and closing her drawers. I decided that she was killing me with kindness; she knew she’d never see me again after today so she had nothing to lose by being nice.

  I made for the lift. When I reached it, a vision of the last time I was in it flashed through my head. I’d take the stairs instead.

  I was out of breath when I finally reached the office floor. I pushed open the door and stepped out to the familiar buzz of morning chatter. I wondered if anyone would miss me after I’d gone and my shoulders drooped. I doubted it.

  Billy noticed me first. He got to his feet, without so much as cracking a smile. ‘Saffron.’

  Others heard him. I saw Delilah stand up from the corner where we both worked. Alicia did the same. And then Figgy. Rupert, Philippa and all the others got up, abandoning their work to look at me. Now I knew what it felt like to be a caged animal in a zoo. So much for faery subtlety.

  Adeline appeared in the doorway to her office. I looked at all of them before ducking my head. This was all too weird.

  When it started, I didn’t know what it was. It was a soft sound at first, a mere smattering, but it wasn’t long before it grew louder and louder. I frowned and looked up. They were clapping. Anger lit through me: they might be glad to see the back of me but applause at my firing was completely over the top.

  Angela strode forward, emerging from the HR office. ‘You’re not wearing red, Saffron.’

  I stared at her. ‘What?’

  ‘It’s Rainbow Friday. You’re supposed to be wearing red.’ She shook her head. ‘Honestly, you keep saying you’re part of this office and a team player but I still don’t see it.’

  I looked round and realised that everyone was indeed wearing red. Given the blood that Rose had spilled here, it seemed incredibly inappropriate. Who cared about fucking Rainbow Friday? I opened my mouth to tell Angela just that but, before I could, she leaned forward and drew me into a hug. I froze.

  ‘For what it’s worth,’ she murmured in my ear, ‘I’m glad you’re alright. Tell anyone I said that,’ she continued in the same breath, ‘and I’ll send you on every mind-numbing health and safety training course that crosses my desk.’ She pulled back and nodded at me before walking away.

  Confused, I blinked several times and continue
d to my little cubicle. I dropped my bag then felt something touch me lightly on my shoulder. I jumped and whirled, my heart hammering against my chest. Adeline was standing scant inches from me.

  ‘Don’t do that,’ I snapped.

  She frowned. ‘Do what?’

  ‘Sneak up on people like that!’

  Adeline didn’t even twitch, she simply looked at me for a long moment. ‘Okay,’ she said finally. She jerked her chin. ‘The Director wants to see you.’

  My eyes dropped. I reached for the small photo frame on my desk and unzipped my bag before squashing it inside. I picked the bag up again and swung it over my shoulder. I might as well be prepared. Adeline followed my movements but she didn’t comment.

  I forced a smile onto my face. ‘Great!’ I said brightly. I straightened my shoulders and strode to the other side of the room, knocking on the Director’s door with all the confidence that I didn’t actually feel.

  Clearly, she’d been waiting for me. The door opened immediately. I marched in, noting that Jasper was standing in the corner, his arms folded. A detached part of my brain noted that he had a scarlet handkerchief neatly folded in the breast pocket of his dark suit. The pop of colour suited him. Even the Director appeared to be participating in Rainbow Friday. She had a bright red scarf tied round her neck like some sort of stern flight attendant who was about to eject me from the aeroplane mid-flight. I told myself that it was nice that everyone was getting involved.

  ‘Take a seat, Saffron.’ The Director motioned to the chair of doom in front of her large oak desk.

  ‘I’ll stand, thank you.’

  Her mouth tightened. ‘Take a seat.’

  I took the seat. I sat primly, with my back straight and my bag on my lap. In a few short minutes all this would be over and then I could get on with the rest of my life.