Resisting the Rebel

by Lisa Brown Roberts

  She blinked against the glare of the headlights pointed right at her, wishing she could shove her earbuds back in and tune him out. Wishing she’d never come to this stupid party.

  “I’d like to leave,” she said with a sigh, “but I don’t have a ride.” She’d been so full of giddy expectation that maybe tonight Gus would finally realize how she felt about him, and tell her that he felt exactly the same way. But instead Kay had woven her evil spell, and Gus had forgotten her existence.

  Caleb muttered something she couldn’t quite catch, other than an f-bomb. She glanced at her phone, desperate to escape, but J.T. and Cammie still hadn’t responded to her SOS text.

  “Let’s go, hippie,” Caleb said.

  She glanced up from her phone, surprised to realize he was talking to her, not the stoner guy.

  “Technically, I’m more disco than hippie,” she corrected.

  Caleb rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s go, Disco.” He reached out to grab her arm.

  She flinched at his touch, which felt like fire shooting up her freezing arm. He stalked away from the stoners, towing her like a rubber raft bouncing behind a determined steamship.

  “What are you doing?”

  He opened the passenger door and impatiently gestured her inside, then slammed the door closed, making her jump.

  “Geez, Caleb,” she muttered to his shadowy figure as he walked around the car, “don’t ever go into the limo business. You’ll go broke.”

  But when he slid into the car, his musky scent mixing with the clean smell of snow and completely shutting down her brain cells, she forgot to be indignant.

  “I assume you need a ride somewhere.”

  “Umm.” Mandy tried to focus. She needed another mantra, stat, but her mind was blank. It was startling to find herself alone in a car with a guy she’d ogled from afar—secretly ogled, the same way she did celebrities and other unattainables.

  Caleb started the car and cranked up music that sounded like angry yelling, not at all like the old disco she usually listened to. She darted a quick look at his unsmiling face and took a breath. Maybe a joke would make him crack a smile and help her refocus. “So is this a rescue or a kidnapping?”

  His answering eye roll made her wish she’d kept her mouth shut. She swallowed and fidgeted with her necklace. Okay, so he might win the looks category of a Mr. Badass America contest, but he’d definitely lose the personality competition.

  “Uh, I mean, um,” she stammered, grasping for something else to lighten the mood. “I get to ride in the hearse.” She flashed him a fake grin so he’d know she was joking about calling his vintage car a hearse. “It’s my lucky night.”

  He shot her a smirk. “Lucky night?”

  She squirmed on her seat, because that smirk of his did something tingly to her insides.

  “Well, yeah,” she said. “I mean, it’s awesome of you to give me a ride and…” Her voice trailed away as she panicked, realizing he might have totally misinterpreted her “lucky night” comment. “I didn’t mean that kind of lucky—God!” She felt herself blush as he laughed softly next to her.

  “Your car’s awesome. Really, um, shiny. And black.” She patted the seat. “Very clean.” She knew she was rambling, but she had to do something to make him stop thinking she wanted to get lucky with him.

  Because she didn’t want that. Well…maybe in an alternate universe she might—

  “Are you drunk?” He cocked an eyebrow, and his smirk made another appearance.

  “No!” she protested. “I’m the only person not drunk tonight.”

  “Really? That makes two of us.”

  Caleb’s unnerving gaze shifted from her face to the rest of her, skimming down her body. She swallowed and twirled her hair nervously. The minidress had definitely been a bad idea.

  “You’re cold,” he said, surprising her by shrugging out of his leather jacket and tossing it to her. “Put this on.”

  She touched the warm leather, running her fingers down the worn material, then tucked it around her like a blanket.

  “Thanks,” she whispered, secretly inhaling the spicy Caleb scent emanating from the jacket.

  “Sure.” His gaze swept over her again, then he turned away and put the car into gear. “Where to, Disco?” He pulled out of the cul-de-sac, waiting to turn right or left.

  “Do you know where the Cheap Seats theater is? I’m just a few blocks from there.” She cleared her throat. “And my name is Mandy.”

  “Short for Amanda?” he asked as he accelerated. She assumed he knew where he was going, even though he probably never went to the dollar movies since his family was loaded.

  “No,” she said. “Just Mandy. I’m named after an old seventies song.”

  He shot her a puzzled glance. “Never heard of it.”

  She shrugged. Most people hadn’t. She burrowed deeper into his jacket, closing her eyes, and searching for a mantra to calm her. Everything happens for a reason.

  They drove in silence for a while as she pondered her situation. There was no such thing as coincidence. Maybe this was a bonus gift from the universe: a sorry-you-saw-Gus-and-Kay-kissing-but-you-get-to-ride-home-with-a-hot-guy-you’ve-always-secretly-crushed-on consolation prize.

  “I was just kidding about the hearse thing,” she said, deciding to show the universe she appreciated the gift. “Maybe we should call it…I don’t know. A Batmobile?” She paused. “I bet you have a secret cave somewhere. An underground lair full of, um…I don’t know, death metal posters?” She forced an interested smile. “What is this music, anyway?”

  She heard him take a long breath, then exhale slowly. So maybe he already knew how to meditate? Excellent. He totally needed an outlet for the waves of unsettled energy rolling off him. Maybe it would help if she kept engaging him.

  “That’s great deep breathing, Caleb. It’ll help you relax. That stoner guy was weird, wasn’t he? Did you see some of the other guys at the party? Total lowlifes. No wait! I don’t mean that. What I mean is, um, fellow travelers trying to find their way. Because there’s always hope, right? People can always turn their lives around if they just believe.” She punctuated her words with a firm nod. “Always.”

  He gunned the engine, and she noticed his breathing came quicker now. Uh-oh. Maybe he wasn’t relaxing. Fast breathing might mean he was in danger of losing whatever equilibrium he had. Think, Mandy, think.

  “So how’s Elle?” She searched for a compliment, something to flatter him. “You two are, um, cute together. Okay, maybe not cute. More like…imposing. You with your big towering demon thing and her with—”

  “My towering what?” He took a corner way too fast, then slammed on the brakes, fishtailing slightly on the slick road. He put the car in park and glared at her.

  Mandy bit her lip, pulling his jacket tight to protect her neck because now he reminded her of an extremely annoyed vampire. Cammie kept telling her to stop watching old Buffy reruns; maybe she was right.

  Caleb ran a hand through his tangle of black hair, and she bit her lip harder. She wondered if his hair was as silky to the touch as it looked.

  Simmer down, girl, she told herself. You don’t like bad boys—remember?

  She was supposed to be with Gus. Stupid, Kay-kissing Gus, who didn’t even remember today was her birthday.

  …

  Towering demon thing? What the hell? Mandy didn’t smell like skunk weed, but she sounded like she was on something. She shot him a nervous sideways glance, her huge doe eyes blinking in the glare of the streetlight as her crazy red hair partially hid her face.

  “I’m not a demon. I’m your Good Samaritan, doing you a solid and driving you home.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “A solid? Seriously?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to speak the language of your people. Gus-speak.”

  “Don’t even. Gus is dead to me.” Her eyes flashed with a spark of anger, then her expression morphed to shock, as if she were horrified by what she’d sai
d. “Not really dead!” She gasped. “That’s super bad karma.”

  He studied her under the glow of the streetlight, assembling the limited facts to try to make sense of the situation. She was pissed at Gus. She didn’t have a ride home from the party. After she’d left him on the deck, she’d probably seen Gus and freaky student council president Kay doing…whatever.

  Poor butterfly had just had her heart crushed. Sucked for her, but she might as well figure out now that most guys were jerks.

  “What do you see in that loser, anyway?”

  She blinked, looking slightly stunned. “H-he’s not a loser. I’ve known him since kindergarten and it’s just…I’ve always…he and I, we’re meant to be together.”

  Caleb smirked. “Puppy love isn’t real, Disco.”

  She tensed, taut with indignation. “Don’t mock me, Caleb.”

  “Or what? You’ll suffocate me with patchouli oil?”

  “I do not wear patchouli.” She lifted his jacket to sniff her arm. “Maybe it’s my incense from earlier today. But I definitely don’t wear it. Actually, I like this old perfume called Baby Soft. I order it online. I mean, you can get it at Walmart, but online has a better selection, plus the powder and…um…” Her voice trailed away.

  Damn. Dealing with her was like watching a subtitled anime — weird to look at, and hard to follow the story. He blew out a long sigh, wishing he’d never left his house tonight. “Whatever. I’m just making conversation, which is challenging with you, Disco. Sort of like talking to a kindergartner on crack.”

  She gasped and leaned forward. “What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying I’m stupid? I’m trying very hard to make conversation with you, Caleb. Maybe you’re the one making it difficult.”

  Caleb wondered if his grip would break the steering wheel as he pulled away from the curb. It was about a twenty-minute drive to Mandy’s house, longer now that the roads were icing up.

  “What are you doing?” She sounded panicked when he turned into the 7-Eleven parking lot, like he was an ax murderer in disguise just waiting for his opportunity.

  “Getting a Red Bull. You want anything?”

  She shook her head, eyes wide. “You don’t want to see me on Red Bull.”

  Caleb stared, not sure whether to laugh or hit something.

  If there was even a speck of truth to Mandy’s karma thing, he was earning enough tonight to escape the nine circles of hell.

  …

  Mandy sat in the car scanning social media postings while Caleb got his caffeine fix. She texted J.T. and Cammie that she had a ride home. They replied, saying they hoped she’d survive the ride with her scary driver, and they’d meet her at her house.

  She’d texted Gus three times to tell him she’d left without him, but he hadn’t replied. She closed her eyes and repeated one of her favorite mantras: I am right where I’m supposed to be. The universe has a reason, even if I don’t see it. She stroked Caleb’s jacket with her fingers, then cautiously put her hand into one of the pockets. Totally snooping and probably bad karma, but she couldn’t resist. Her fingers closed around lint and the lighter. Hmm. She flipped the coat over and investigated the other pocket.

  Jackpot.

  Mandy’s fingers closed over a small notebook. She shouldn’t open it. No way. It was a total violation of privacy. Who knew what was in there? Probably angry poetry, or maybe a list of all his hookups ranked by sexual abilities. She shook her head to clear away her stupid thoughts. What was wrong with her tonight?

  Yeah, Caleb rattled her…rattle…rattler. He kind of was like a rattlesnake. If he saw any weakness he’d strike out and bite her neck and…oh wow…now that was an image that made her whole body flush.

  Mandy swallowed. Her finger traced the metal coil holding the pages together. Sometimes she felt like that spiral, tightly wound and responsible for keeping everything together.

  Caleb had no idea how much his “kindergartner on crack” comment hurt. Her doctor said she’d have an easier time if she took meds for the ADHD, but she didn’t want to do that anymore because she’d tried it and hated the side effects. Gran had suggested the occasional puff of weed, but no way was she doing that. She didn’t want to end up like her brother, whose smoking had ratcheted up from the occasional party smoking to an everyday habit that caused his grades to tank.

  Most days she felt like she was white-knuckling it, especially in some of her more challenging classes, but she believed the universe gave her a squirrel brain for a reason. She just didn’t know what it was yet. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. I am in control of my emotions. My mind is calm and clear. I am a ray of light to everyone I meet. Even the cranky chauffeur.

  She stared at the small worn notebook in her hand, wondering what secrets it held.

  Caleb was a mystery, an enigma. He looked like a badass she’d cross the street to avoid, yet he was one of the smartest guys in school according to J.T., who was on the honors track with him. Even though Caleb ditched classes a lot, he still earned As and Bs. It wasn’t fair, when she had to work so hard just to earn Cs and the occasional B in her non-honors classes.

  She plugged the aux cable into her phone and cranked up the volume. Her music sounded awesome on his car stereo, way better than sitting in dark silence. She shoved the notebook back into his jacket pocket, unopened, proud of herself for resisting the urge to snoop. A wave of happiness at the good karma she’d just earned shot through her.

  Determined to stop thinking about Caleb, and Gus and Kay sucking face, she sang along to the music. “You’re a shining star, no matter who you are. Shining bright to see what you can truly be.”

  This music always cheered her up; maybe it would do the same for the broody demon chauffeur.

  …

  Caleb took a long swig of his Red Bull before heading back to his car. He watched Mandy sing along to the annoying disco beat pounding through the closed windows. He glanced around, grateful no one he knew was around to witness his humiliation.

  Sighing, he headed to his car, resigned to his fate. It wasn’t like he could abandon her. For an indefinable reason, he felt a responsibility to get her home safe, especially after Gus had bailed on her.

  He opened the door, slid onto the seat, and hit the power button, killing the song mid-cloying lyric.

  “Hey!” she protested. “Not cool, Caleb. I love that song.”

  “But I don’t.” He held out his Red Bull. “Sure you don’t want some? I hear it cures broken hearts.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “You’re kind of a jerk, Caleb.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “Maybe I’m not the only one with a broken heart,” she said as he pulled onto the main road.

  He glanced at her, noticing her ridiculous spider eyelashes. Were those fake? Unbelievable.

  “I didn’t see you with Elle tonight,” she pressed.

  His hands tightened on the wheel. “Elle is psycho. Even more than you.”

  “I’m not psycho.”

  He snorted. “Debatable. Anyway, Elle and I split.” Even though Elle is in denial, he thought, but he kept that to himself.

  “So you shouldn’t make fun of other people’s love lives just because you can’t keep a girlfriend.”

  He accelerated as much as he safely could in the swirling snow. He had to get this girl home. “I could keep a girlfriend. If I wanted to.” He bit the words out, each one costing him painful life points.

  She tugged his jacket tight around her neck. “I doubt it. Girls don’t like jerk boyfriends, at least not on a long-term basis. But you don’t do long-term, do you, Caleb?”

  If only she were a guy, he’d just toss her out of his car. He glanced at her, surprised by the challenge sparking in her eyes and the stubborn tilt of her jaw. He liked what he saw.

  “Maybe I haven’t met anybody worth the effort.”

  She blinked. “Because you think you’re better than everyone else.”

  Okay, that he d
idn’t like. “I’m gonna clue you in on a secret, Disco, on behalf of all guys everywhere. We don’t like crazy. We don’t like stalkers. We don’t like needy. We don’t like—”

  “Turn here.”

  Her voice sounded weird. He pulled into the driveway and turned toward her. Her eyes blinked rapidly, and he winced at the shock he saw reflected back at him. He was being a dick; he knew that. But he didn’t know how else to deal with her. She wore her heart on her sleeve; she always had, which was another reason he avoided her.

  She’d be fine. She’d go inside and watch some cheesy romance movie and her faith in humanity would be restored.

  And he wouldn’t have to deal with her ever again.

  …

  “Thank you for the ride, Caleb,” Mandy said formally, like he was an Uber driver, not someone she actually knew. She had to get away from him and his insults. Yeah, he’d given her a ride home, but he’d been sort of a jerk, especially at the end.

  The glow of his headlights illuminated her path as she ran up the driveway, praying she wouldn’t slip on the snow and embarrass herself. She opened the front door, and the headlights dipped and dimmed as Caleb reversed out of the driveway and sped away.

  She texted J.T. and Cammie.

  R U almost here? Horrible night. Worst birthday ever.

  Their replies pinged back instantly, saying they were just a few blocks away.

  She had the best friends in the world.

  …

  Caleb walked up the wide, curving staircase, carefully avoiding the cat swirling between his legs. His dad wasn’t home—probably out with his latest arm candy or maybe working late at the office. Not that it mattered; he liked having the house to himself.

  He cranked music while he showered, trying to drown away the night. What a complete waste of time and energy. Why the hell had he gone to that party? He hated people, especially his classmates, 99 percent of whom were morons. Especially the one he’d been stuck driving in circles with tonight, who was apparently living in some sort of 1970s time warp mashed up with some crazy New Age life-is-beautiful-if-you-just-breathe philosophy.

  Never again. Even if Mandy was sort of cute, she was crazy, and he didn’t do crazy.