by Sabrina Kade
I want to snap at her. Tell her she doesn’t understand how beautiful Hujun is, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to convince the rest of Hethdiss that Hujun is attractive. He only needs to be attractive to me.
But I’m worried, and as Kansas pats my back and says she’s heading back to the Gathering Room, the fact that I’m alone washes through like a chilled ocean wave. She looks over her shoulder only once, motioning for me to step inside.
She doesn’t have to ask twice.
As soon as an unfamiliar Sidyth rounds the corner, I duck into Hujun’s room, thinking that, for just a moment, that Yayk’s returned to finish what he started.
***
Kansas wasn’t joking about the snoring. As soon as I fix the cloth back over the opening of the private lair, I swear the walls rumble with each snore. His lungs must be enormous, but the sound itself is quite calming. There’s always been something about Hujun that’s pulled me in. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that he’s, by far, the biggest Sidyth here, the bulkiest, or even the least human looking. Maybe it’s the scales on his stomach. Perhaps it’s that his hands are wrapped in tight bindings as though he’s always ready for the next fight. For someone as big as Hujun, I wonder if he views everyone as little insignificant bugs that need squashing before they can cause anyone harm.
And here I am. The smallest bug on the planet.
I tilt my head at him at first, too nervous to draw any closer, merely taking in the scents and sounds perfuming the room. Like the rest of Hethdiss, he smells like the woods, but there’s also something deeper mingling with his scent. It can only be described as man. Musky and earthy with a hint of spice and dark berries. I love it. And though Hujun is sleeping in a bed made for Sidyths, his feet still hang over the edge as he lays sprawled out on his back, resting a hand over his stomach. That massive hand rises and falls with each rumble.
His cock stands at half mast, and I lick my lips, wondering if he’s dreaming.
Is he dreaming about me? Is he dreaming of another woman?
My lips part as I find the nerve to draw closer, pushing the curls away from my eyes, so I see him. I didn’t bother braiding my hair today, or rather, I haven’t bothered braiding it much lately because my mind wanders during menial tasks. I close my eyes, and Yayk’s always there. I feel his breath on my neck and his hands on my shoulders. I remember how small and fragile I felt in his grip. I remember how easily his finger curled and tightened around my tongue like a cobra. I remember the words he uttered as he stroked his cock. I remember how scared I was seeing the size of it.
Even hidden under his shorts, I notice Hujun’s even bigger.
I swallow hard, and my fingers uncurl toward the lazily, throbbing muscle. Despite him looking much bigger than Yayk, Hujun’s cock doesn’t instill me with fear. I bet he’d be careful with me. I bet he’s worried I’m too small to take him. Well, that’s just fine because I’m willing to find out if that’s true. I bet my pussy would embrace him tightly. I bet he’d enjoy it. I know I sure would.
Hujun groans in his sleep, and I pull my hand back up against my chest, cradling it slightly. He’s not waking up, but his cock is growing thicker and standing up more.
Good God, what I wouldn’t give to find out what’s making him this hard.
I uncurl my fingers again as I lean over the bed and brush a single thumb over the tip of his cock tented in his shorts.
Another rumbling groan escapes.
I feel a wetness between my thighs as Hujun’s mouth curls up in one corner.
This is the touchiest I’ve ever sexually been with him. I should feel fucking dirty for practically fondling him while he’s sleeping, but I don’t give a flying poopsicle. I never get chances like this. I probably never will again if Hujun wakes up while I’m fingering the tip of his dick.
But Kansas is right. This does feel good. It’s incredible to see Hujun in a vulnerable position. It would be all too easy to kill him – not that I’d want to! He looks soft and peaceful. Like a slumbering grizzly bear.
I close my eyes as I pull my hand away again, feeling a tingling sensation between my thighs. I drop a hand down under my skirt, and I’m hardly shocked to find that I’m soaked. Hujun always does this to me. Just a few moments of being around his incredibly, almost unnaturally massive presence and I turn into a horny high schooler. I rub the palm of my hand against my pussy, letting my arousal take over.
Just. A. Few. Seconds.
I picture Hujun’s massive form mounting me in his bed. Eventually, I’d love to try it when I’m on top, but for now, I want to feel his skin against mine. I want him hovering over me. I want his eyes to grow hooded, longing for more than what he thinks he can give me.
I start to circle my clit, stumbling away a few feet, not wanting the scent of my arousal to wake up Hujun. It would be pretty tricky to explain my way out of this, and knowing I’m already treading into dangerous waters, I quickly remove my hand when Hujun shifts. I pull my skirt down and immediately rub my hand across the blanket at the bottom of his bed without thinking and try to make it seem as though I’ve just come to the lair opening.
Hujun covers his face with a massive forearm as he stirs, and I think it’s as good a time as any to let my presence known.
“Hey there—”
My words die in my throat. Hujun leaps out of bed and descends on me before I can even catch my breath. Something this big shouldn’t be able to move so quickly, but it only takes a blink before I can register what’s happened. Hujun’s grabbed one of my wrists and is holding me so my feet don’t touch the ground.
There’s that look. The one he had with Yayk. The wild look.
The I’ll kill you look.
I scream. “Hujun! It’s me! Stop!”
Yayk grins. No. Not Yayk. Hujun. And he’s not grinning. Shock crosses his features as he immediately lowers me to the ground, leaving me to crumble back to the lair opening, cradling my wrist.
“Ellis!” He swallows my name like a bitter pill, staring down as his eyes shift back to normal. “What are you doing in my private lair?” He kneels in front of me.
If I wasn’t so shaken up, I could enjoy that his cock is still hard, but I’m scared to shit now. Everything happened so fast. One moment I’m saying hi to Hujun and the next he has me in the air with a look in his eye that I didn’t ever want to see again. The same look he gave Yayk.
Like he wanted to kill. Like he wanted to kill me.
“Stars and moons, Ellis,” he says, crouching down lower. “What are you doing here?” His voice lowers to something less terrifying, but his eyes are still recovering. He looks angry. And why shouldn’t he be? I was all but masturbating to the sight of him sleeping.
“I’m sorry!” I squeak, hating how scared I sound. Of course, Hujun isn’t going to hurt me. But until his eyes fade to something less intimidating and deadly, my pulse will continue to race. “I just… I don’t…” My eyes prickle, but before they can start to water, a heavy hand cups my cheek.
“I did not mean to frighten you.” His voice is low, and finally, his eyes are soft again. “I am not used to anyone coming into my room unless they have malicious intentions.”
Does masturbating count as malicious?
“I’m sorry,” I say again, hoping my words reach him.
“I do not need you to be sorry, Ellis. I told you. I am the one who is sorry for frightening you.” The pad of his thumb smooths across my cheek. I all but sigh contentedly, closing my eyes.
I can tell Hujun wants to keep asking questions. Try to figure out what I was doing in his room in the first place, but he also worries if he pushes me about anything, I’m going to break. Kansas says my breakdowns are panic attacks. I’m not sure if I agree, but I know when I’m upset or frightened or scared, the breath leaves my lungs. My heart pounds so violently I can feel it in my ears. My hands shake so hard I shove them through my hair as though trying to fix it so the other girls don’t notice. The last thing I need is Korben f
inding out I’m defective and send me away with the next delivery guy in exchange for a fresh human.
Maybe it’ll be Yayk.
I’d be alone on a ship with him. There’d be nothing to stop him from doing anything he wanted.
Hujun presses his thumb against the tip of my nose. My eyes find his.
“Your attention was drifting. I simply wanted to bring you back.” He doesn’t smile. There’s a softness and intensity in his eyes that works just fine. “Did something happen? Is that why you sought me out? Did the dirty-faced one bring you here?”
I smirk. Dirty-faced one. Poor Kansas. “She brought me down.”
“Ahh, good.” He removes his hand from my face, and I feel the chilly open air without his touch. It doesn’t even matter that he has all the sun rayers blasting, I’m always cold without his skin against mine.
Why can’t he accept that we could work together?
Why can’t he take me in his arms, throw me down on the bed, spread my thighs and—
“I suppose you have figured out my reasons for leaving you,” he rumbles at last, shaking my thoughts back to the here and now. “The dirty-faced one told you?”
I nod. “If you needed time to sleep, you only had to tell me.”
He shrugs. “I did not want to upset you.”
“I was upset you lied to me, Hujun.”
He seems to think this over, thick eyebrows pulling and knitting together. His face isn’t attractive in a conventional way with a nose too broad, eyes too deeply set, and a mouth lined with age, but it’s beautiful to me. He’s always trying to figure things out. How to make things less awful for me. How to make me more comfortable after what happened in the fields a few weeks ago.
“I did not realize a small lie would be terrible. I hope you will forgive me, Ellis.”
I love the way he says my name. El-ize. But I have to make sure he understands. “Lying to me is not okay, Hujun. Ever. I’m an adult. Even if the truth hurts, I can take it.”
“You are a small adult.”
My eyes narrow. I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. It’s always hard to tell. I don’t mind, though. I love that Hujun is a puzzle just waiting to be figured out and put together. I want to be the person who does this, but I won’t be a doormat. I steel my jaw and square my shoulders.
“Don’t lie to me ever again.”
And then it comes. A small curve in the corner of his mouth. Not a smile. A Hujun smile. “I am happy you have finally confronted me about this.”
My expression shifts. “Confronted you?”
He nods once. “I did not tell you what I was doing. I wanted to give you the chance to confront me.”
“What? You were testing me?”
“I’m always testing you.”
“Hujun, you fudging poopsicle—”
“Like you are always testing me,” he rumbles over me.
My protest dies in my throat. I’m testing him? What does he mean by that? But just like Hujun doesn’t like to push me, I don’t enjoy pushing him either. I rather figure out what he means without him spelling things out for me. Like I just said, I’m not a child.
Don’t treat me like a kid.
I may be short, but I’m not a kid.
I may be fragile right now, but I’m no one’s charity case.
And apparently, I may be human, but I’m testing Hujun somehow.
I want to ask what he means by that.
CHAPTER TWO
Hujun
Testing me. I swear Ellis is going to ruin me.
If she thinks I can’t taste her arousal in the air, then she not only underestimates me as a Sidyth but as a male. Why must she always tempt me? For years, I convinced myself I was too ugly to have a mate, and then the most beautiful, fragile, little being was all but pushed into my arms by my prince. Worst of all, this little human gives hope that she finds me attractive. It takes everything I have not to take Ellis to my private lair, throw her on the bed and thrust my cock inside her.
This beautiful idea is simultaneously my greatest fear of all.
Physically, there is no way someone as small and delicate as Ellis could be a suitable mate for me. I have to believe Ellis is only testing me, and Prince Korben is as well. He wants to see if I can restrain myself. He must be worried I have grown soft during my time in exile since the dividing, and now, he has given me a woman to watch over. Knowing how small Ellis is, he is trying to see if I can resist her.
So far, I have been. And I would have been able to keep her at arm’s length, if not for what happened before the human Christmas celebration.
One of my brothers (I can barely stomach calling him that after what he’s done) tried to pleasure her without consent. And the thought of it alone makes me hiss lowly in my throat.
“Hujun?”
Ellis’ voice dances across the air like a beautiful star in the cosmos. Realizing that I must be scaring her, I quickly relax my posture. Even to this day, I can not get over how little this woman is. Humans are small, but Ellis is the tiniest human I have ever seen. The top of her head is just above my elbow, and in the few instances where I had a reason to take her up into my arms, she was lighter than some of the youngest sprogs who were not suckling on their mother’s breast.
Through all of that, though, I want her. More than I’ve wanted anything.
If the taste of her arousal in the air is anything compared to what must lie between her legs, I am afraid I am going to fail the test my prince has set upon me.
Ellis will know I am weak.
Prince Korben will know I am weak.
And so, I must never take this woman for my own. Now and forever I will protect her, though. Even when she takes a Chosen, I will watch over her. I think of my brothers like Iriel and Dash, who have no respect for humans and my heart clenches at the idea of them being with her.
“Hujun, did you have a bad dream or something?”
I frown in her direction, and she winces back. I curse inwardly. I hate frightening her. But I am not used to having to maintain a softness about my looks. I’m used to frowning. Frowning lets others know not to mess with me. Ellis does not like this look. Not in the least. And since Yayk attacked her, she is more frightened of me than ever.
Despite her fear, there is so much she doesn’t know. Ellis, and most of the humans for that matter, don't know anything about our time on the fatherland before exile, and even less about the dividing.
“I am surprised to see you, I suppose.” This is not the most elegant of responses, but this does not make it any less right. I shift over to my side so I can look upon Ellis who is still crouched next to my bed. Inwardly, I smile. If I like how she looks beside my bed, how am I going to feel if she gets in it?
Ugh. I should not tease myself with such thoughts.
I am only punishing myself.
“I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’m forcing you to do anything,” Ellis continues, pushing a small hand through her dark, curly hair.
It’s not in the braids she used to wear lately, and though I want to know why she chooses not to style her hair in this way recently, I have never been one to pry into the personal affairs of others.
“I just meant that I don’t want you to lie to me, Hujun.”
“I will not do it again,” I vow to her. I had no idea my words (or omissions) would affect her so much. I never want Ellis to think she cannot trust me, even though I know in my heart and soul that she should not. Another tentative smile crosses her small, almost scrunched features, and I feel my cock twitch within my shorts, begging to be set free. Asking to find a way into Ellis’ cunt.
“What were you dreaming about?” she asks next, leaning closer to me.
I can barely keep myself together and quickly sit up in bed so my face isn’t as close to hers. If she keeps pushing her lips near my face, I am afraid of what I’ll do. Every voice in my head, every thread in my being wants to take this woman. Make her mine. Worship her. Cherish her. Make it so no one hu
rts her again.
I can do all of these without taking her sexually.
Yayk has all but broken this fragile being. I will not be responsible for blowing over the collection of shattered pieces.
“Dreaming about?” I repeat, tilting my head. Ellis blushes when our eyes meet, and I can’t help but detect a faint upsurge of arousal. She’s pinching her thighs together. Interesting. “I have not recalled my dreams in many passings.” She frowns slightly. “I am sorry if this disappoints you.”
“No, it’s okay!” she squeaks, waving her hands around. “Just making conversation. I didn’t mean to get up in your business.”
“You get into the business,” I say awkwardly.
Another tentative smile. “No more than sneaking into your room, I guess.”
Yes. She did do that. I will have to have another chat with the dirty-faced human who seems to have good enough intentions when it comes to Ellis. I am not sure why she cares about Ellis but was pleased when she threatened to tear off my cock if I hurt her.
I snort at the thought.
I would never hurt Ellis.
I would kill anyone who tried.
Ugh, almost anyone. To this day, I am disappointed in myself for not tearing off Yayk’s head, Prince Korben’s delivery boy or not. I am designed to kill. I have been trained to kill.
Worse than that. I love to kill. I like to feel the weaknesses of others in my hands.
Most of that changed when Ellis was presented to me.
When I first saw her, I marveled at how much smaller she was than the other women. But she was no less fierce. Curiosity clenched my heart, and at first, my intentions were not honorable. I wanted to see if her size equated weakness. And when Prince Korben assigned me to look after her, he had given me a fabulous opportunity.
That all changed when she smiled up at me.
She was small, but she was not weak.
She was, and is, fierce.
“I do not mind you coming here,” I say. “I always enjoy your company, Ellis.”
“Do you?”
I frown. “Of course. Do I not stand by your side? Do I not talk to you until you fall asleep? Do I not keep you safe?”