by Sabrina Kade
“I won’t say a word to anyone if you don’t want me to.”
“I don’t want you to. Not even to Korben.”
“Alright. If he knows anything, he hasn’t told me.”
Good. That’s something at least.
And though I should stay in Blythe’s room for a bit more polite conversation, I’m already standing, feeling lighter than I have in weeks.
“You like him, huh?” Blythe asks, smiling cautiously. “Hujun.”
“Hujun.”
Blythe smirks. “I’m not going to lie; you two look funny together.” She holds up her hands. “Beyond the whole height difference thing! I’m not just talking about that.”
I arch an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re beautiful,” she says with a shrug. “And you look so much younger than you are. When the rest of us need put in a retirement home, you’re going to pass for a college student.” She snickers a bit. “I have to say, I’m a bit jealous.”
Jealous? Of me? This beautiful, exotic woman is jealous of me? I can’t even imagine it. She must be trying to be nice… no.
No self-doubt.
Maybe Hujun could learn to love me. Short, baby-faced, curly-haired, Ellis. Sure, there’s not only the human factor, but if an alien prince can overlook that, why can’t Hujun? And if he doesn’t learn to love me beyond protecting me, what will happen at the end of this assignment? Will another alien even want me so that I can stay on Hethdiss? Would I even want another alien to want me? I certainly don’t want anyone other than Hujun to look at me like Yayk did ever again, and I don’t want to pick an alien to possibly end my career as a Human Whore. I want to be with Hujun.
What would it be like to have sex with him? To have his seed spill inside me?
I want to know what it would feel like to be pregnant. I never even considered having kids before, but now, there’s not much else I could think about.
A little version of Hujun.
But that’s only if he decides he wants me like I want him.
At the very least, I know he’s attracted to me. That’s something.
I can’t pretend he doesn’t sport a rock-hard cock when I get close to him. I can’t ignore the look in his eyes when I touch the scales on his face.
“You’re going already?” Blythe asks when I start to move the curtain aside.
I shrug. “Do you want me to stay?”
A hesitant smile crosses her stunning features. “I wouldn’t mind the company.”
And then I realize, I don’t have to run back to the Gathering Room. What exactly am I running back to? Hujun isn’t going anywhere, and a few hours won’t change anything.
I release the curtain and let it fall back with a hushing sweep and turn back to Blythe, playfully rolling my eyes.
“Well, if you’re going to beg,” I tease before Blythe bursts out laughing.
And then it dawns on me. I’m not the only one who hasn’t laughed out loud in a long time.
It feels good to build a friendship again.
***
Spending less time in the Gathering Room and more time with Blythe has given me an opportunity I didn’t even realize I needed. With building my friendship with Blythe again, I don’t have to spend so much time by Hujun’s side. Time goes by, and eventually I realize almost a week has passed, and I’ve barely seen him. I know he checks on me when I go to sleep in the Gathering Room, and he’s often there the following morning, but it’s odd. His attention doesn’t feel the same. Does he miss how much I’ve come to rely on him the past few weeks? And as much as it pains me not to always run to his side and duck under his arm, I have to remember my end goal. I want to be strong again. I want to be the Ellis I was before I was attacked on Hethdiss.
And I have to admit it’s nice spending time with Blythe. We trade stories about some of the jobs we’ve worked over the years and some of the creepiest parts about past alien clients.
Scuts are the worst alien clients with their long, slim bodies and thousands of thin legs running from their shoulders to their hips. They’re human in some ways, but they’re also like those creepy things that hang out in the bathrooms, too. And who wants to fuck a giant thousand legger?
It’s pleasant to have some girl talk, and though Kansas seems a bit miffed every time I leave the Gathering Room without Hujun, she has her own little harem of friends, so I’m not exactly worried. I can’t possibly be that important to her.
Still, it’s a little lonely not seeing Hujun as much lately. I miss the look in his dark golden eyes, the feel of his massive arm when he wraps it around my shoulders. I’m sure he thinks he’s giving me space, especially with how I stormed out of his lair, but I’m keeping my distance from him as well. I don’t want to depend on him so much. I can’t rely on him because there’s no guarantee he’s always going to be by my side. I’ve been a working girl for years, and I’ve never depended on an alien like I’ve been depending on Hujun. Well, that’s stops now. I want to stand on my own. And when I do need someone, it’s best I talk to Blythe, Kansas or one of the others who doesn’t drive me nuts.
Still, it’s a little lonely sometimes.
Especially at night when Korben comes to Blythe’s room, and I politely excuse myself for the evening.
It’s kind of sad when I’m in bed in the Gathering Room, and some of the other girls are chattering at me, asking me what I’ve been up to lately and if Hujun and I are this or that. They have so many questions. I have so little answers.
I want to be more independent, yes, but I miss Hujun.
I want more from him than he may be willing to give. And in some ways, maybe hanging out with Blythe isn’t the best way to get over it. After all, she’s happy (and miserable) because she’s pregnant and Korben tends to her like she’s a damn goddess. And when York stops by, I think Azan worships her even more than Korben worships Blythe! The worst is when I’m with the both of them by myself, and they go on and on about their mates and how they tend to them too much, and it drives them crazy.
And then York’s always carrying around her book.
That’s right; Azan managed to get her a book from Earth for Christmas, or rather, the alien who tried to rape me found her a book on the Black Market, and York’s always carrying it around. She gets to carry around a piece of her life before becoming a Human Whore because her mate cares so much about what’s important to her.
I think Hujun cares a lot about me, but he has a weird way of showing it lately.
I can’t say I blame him. I haven’t exactly been kind since I stormed out, and I’ve never approached his room since. And though I can feel him watching me on some days, he keeps his distance.
Maybe I should talk to him. Maybe I should give him an ultimatum.
Choose me or leave me alone. Now that’s sexy.
I push the thought away, knowing I’d never do that to Hujun, or to myself. Maybe he’s already realized he doesn’t need to talk to me to protect me. What would his answer be if I gave him the opportunity to push me further away? He’d leave. He’d stop watching over me. And if that warm, no matter how faded, feeling of him watching over me was suddenly stripped away, I know I’d feel empty.
“Did you talk to him today?” Blythe asks, propped up in her usual spot in bed with the sun rayers facing every direction in the room beside her.
I shake my head. “I saw him standing outside the Gathering Room when I went to use the privacy stall, but he was gone when I came back out.”
Blythe snorts. “Nothing turns on a man more than thinking about his mate peeing.”
My ears grow hot. “I’m not his mate.”
“Not yet.”
“Not ever, Blythe. Don’t fuck with me.”
One of the only things that annoy me besides Blythe’s overall happiness is her smug comments about Hujun eventually Choosing me. I know what she’s doing. In her own way, she’s trying to build up my confidence again, but sometimes it feels cruel. She’s teasing me, an
d I’m not sure we’re good enough of friends for her to do this to me.
“I’m not fucking with you. Did you know Hujun’s been here to talk to Korben five times since you came to my room last week?”
I freeze. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you say this before?” I gasp, bounding over to the edge of her bed.
“Korben just mentioned last night after we—” she stops short.
“Don’t censor yourself on my account. Just because I’m not getting pleasured by a Sidyth doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it.”
She slumps. “Sorry. I guess I don’t know what you’re comfortable hearing about.”
“I can handle the word fuck; I can tell you that much, Blythe. Do you know what Hujun and Korben talked about?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “But I do know when we were lying in bed, Korben was telling me about how he’s never seen Hujun so restless. I think he knows it has to do with you, but he either doesn’t want to talk about it, or Hujun doesn’t want him to talk about it.”
“Huh.” I try to remain neutral while my heart pounds like a jackhammer. He’s been talking to Korben! Maybe even about me! He’s restless? Hujun? Mr. Nothing-Ever-Bothers-Me-And-I-Always-Look-Sour has ruffled scales? The thought fills me with such intense joy, I almost start laughing out loud like a maniac. I keep it inside, of course. I have some dignity.
“Now that I’ve told you this, are you going to talk to him again sometime soon?” Blythe asks.
“Maybe. I should. I don’t want him to think I hate him or anything.”
“He has no reason to think that.” Blythe smiles to herself. “But it has been over a week now. You should at least see how he’s doing.”
“Okay.” A frown crosses my face before I lift my eyes and meet Blythe’s again. “Korben really said Hujun seems unsettled lately?” I hate needling, but I’ve got to hear her repeat it.
“That’s what he told me.”
“Wow, that’s crazy.”
“Right?” She giggles. “Hujun’s always so serious. I honestly can’t imagine what he’d be like unsettled.”
I shake my head. I can’t picture it either, but if Korben says it’s happening, then, of course, I’m going to believe it. Hujun doesn’t let his defenses down for many people, but I’m sure Korben is one of them. I can’t help smiling at the idea. Maybe there’s a chance—
“Oh. My. God! Here you guys are!”
Layla runs into Korben’s room after pushing the curtain aside and back again without so much as a pat on the wall. Her face is hot pink, and she looks winded as she all but falls into the nearest chair near Korben’s lair opening.
“What?” Blythe and I ask at the same time.
“Dolan,” she grumbles.
“Dolan?” I tilt my head to the side, trying to put a face to the name.
“Azan’s little brother. Looks basically like Azan, but a little younger with shorter hair.” Blythe explains. “He’s also the one who has a crush on her. What happened this time? Late Christmas gift?”
My eyes widen. Christmas gift? “Dolan got you a gift? Even though you haven’t Chosen him?” Jealousy washes over, but I try to push it away. Even if Dolan did get Layla a Christmas gift, she sure as shit doesn’t look happy about it.
Layla nods, looking like she’s in pain. “Oh, God. Yes.” She crumples down in the chair, and her dark, silky hair tumbles forward, hiding her youthful face. Blythe and I share a glance because from the looks of this so far, Layla’s embarrassed but not thoroughly disgusted. Maybe that’s a good sign. Because as everyone knows, the Sidyth Layla’s interested in only has eyes for Sloane.
“What happened?” Blythe asks.
“Was it bad?”
“The worst,” Layla grumbles. “In front of everyone. Whoever gave him that stupid idea is going to die. I bet it was Sloane.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t Sloane. You guys are best friends; she would have never told Dolan to do anything that would embarrass you,” Blythe says. “Come on, how bad could it have been? It was a Christmas gift! I bet he put a lot of thought into it.”
“That may be true, but that doesn’t make it any less humiliating. And he was just… so… I don’t even know how to explain it.” Layla buries her face into her hands, shaking her head.
And now my interest is piqued. What the hell has Dolan done now that Layla’s acting like the world is crashing over her shoulders?
“What did he do?” I ask. “What was the gift?”
“I don’t even think I can talk about it.”
And then there’s another face at the lair opening. Sloane. Layla lifts her head and upon noticing her, frowns.
“Go away,” she says in a tired voice. “You’re the last person I want to see.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Layla stands, looking pink and angry. “Because you’re the one who put Dolan up to… what he did! You wanted him to make an ass out of himself and make an ass out of me!”
Sloane looks like she’s been shot, stumbling into the room. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Don’t play dumb,” Layla says. “Even though I know you’re good at it.”
Sloane’s blue eyes widen. “What’s what supposed to mean?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t understand anything!” Layla mocks. “Seriously, Sloane. Get out of my face. I’m not in the mood to play guessing games with you.”
“I seriously don’t understand why you’re mad me.” Sloane’s lower lip juts out, and she looks at Blythe and me. “I swear I didn’t do anything.”
“If you guys seriously just came in here to bicker, can you go back to the Gathering Room?”
And then Layla and Sloane turn to look at me as though they’ve forgotten I’m there. Seriously, though, all this drama about them and Exer and Dolan is getting a bit high school.
“I didn’t come here to bicker, at least not until she followed me in here,” Layla says, storming out.
“I didn’t follow you. I just wanted to talk! Layla, wait.” Sloane goes to grab her arm, but she wrenches it free.
“I can’t believe you embarrassed me like that. And poor Dolan. That wasn’t fair to him.” More color flushes across her cheeks, but before any of us can ask questions, she’s gone.
“What the hell happened?” Blythe asks before I do.
“Dolan… uh…” Sloane shakes her head as though she can’t believe it. “He came into the Gathering Room today and uh… started singing a song. In English. Loudly. It was weird.” Her blue eyes lift toward Blythe and me. “And before you ask, no, I wasn’t the one who gave him the idea to do it. I don’t like anything by Eric Clapton, anyway. But I guess the person who helped him does.”
Blythe and I share a look. I have to admit; this isn’t that bad. The idea of a Sidyth singing out loud is kind of adorable. Of course, I’m not thinking of Dolan when I paint the scene.
“Was he that bad?” Blythe asks.
“It was terrible. He was kind of shouting the whole thing? And there was no guitar, but he was air guitaring? Making weird sounds. He worked hard on it but performing in front of everyone in the Gathering Room wasn’t the best way to present it. Still, though? It was kind of sweet.”
Yeah. Sounds sweet. Another wave of jealousy hits.
Dolan learned to sing a song in English for Layla.
And yeah, maybe he didn’t give it to her in the most romantic of ways, but he did give her something.
I can’t help but wonder who helped him.
“These guys are different than the Sidyths from their homeworld.” In all different ways, the Sidyths on Hethdiss are proving not to be malicious, beastly maniacs like Yayk. Yayk couldn’t even fathom asking me for consent before pleasuring me. And now Dolan’s in the Gathering Room belting out Eric Clapton? Insanity.
Blythe rests her hand on my arm. “It’s wild, isn’t it? How far these guys will go to impress the ones they care about?”
Suddenly, I have to see Hujun.
Dolan didn’t have to sing a song for Layla, but he did.
Just like Hujun didn’t have to stop Yayk from raping me.
But he did.
CHAPTER FOUR
Hujun
Words cannot express how much I miss having Ellis beside me.
I should not care so much because she is safe, but I am still worried. She is not much larger than a sprog, and she has the uncanny ability to get herself into trouble. I shouldn’t be so obsessed with her well-being. Her safety is what matters to Prince Korben. I have kept my promise to my prince. And yet, there is a part of me that wants more. I see Korben kissing and caressing his mate, and I want Ellis in my grasp. I understand how Azan has changed because of his mate’s love for him. I wonder if Ellis could make me a better man.
I am a fierce male.
I am a healthy male.
But I am not sure if I am a gentle one. I long to find out if I can be better.
The past few days have given me almost entirely too much time to think. I dwell upon what should best be forgotten. I remember the look on Ellis’ face when Yayk had her pinned up against the tree. No one can protect her the way I can. No one knows how much Ellis has lost since that terrible day. Before Yayk ruined everything, Ellis was sharp and witty. She will always be tiny, but before the human celebration, she had a spark within that none of the other silly humans had.
She still has that, but now it is more like a slowly dying star.
I like how she pushes through, but I do not like how she’s pushing through without me.
Lately, she wants nothing to do with me.
She spends her time in Korben’s lair, chatting with his mate. I am not sure what about. A simpler Sidyth would say they are talking about pregnancy and sprogs, but Ellis is not pregnant and seems to have no interest in being a mother at this time. Ellis does not know I stop by the room occasionally, never letting my presence known, but merely making sure she is okay. I see the two of them sitting on the bed. Prince Korben’s busty mate has an arm wrapped around Ellis’ shoulders. That used to be my arm. She used to lean into me. She used to lean on to me. She fears she can no longer turn to me.