Mister Naughty: A Romantic Comedy (Small Town Secrets Book 6)

by Cat Johnson

  “First, not the crack of dawn. It’s well after eight. Second, I told you we have an appointment for your surprise at nine, which I only made for that early because you want to leave for downstate by lunch.”

  “I don’t want to leave then. I have to if I want to get there before dark,” I corrected with a huff as I pushed off the bed and tried to sit up.

  “I promise. The effort will be worth it.” He handed over the coffee once I was settled and sitting upright against the pillows.

  Sugar and caffeine helped. So did slipping into one of my favorite, softest sweaters over leggings rather than wrestling myself into jeans.

  Once I was presentable enough for public viewing, I made my way downstairs to find Stone and Agnes in the kitchen together, chatting over coffee.

  “Look at you two. All cozy. No doubt discussing how late I slept.” I scowled.

  Aunt Agnes smiled. “You deserved to sleep late after last night.”

  “Tell Stone that.” I pulled my mouth the one side unhappily.

  He shook his head as he got up and brought his mug to the sink to rinse it before reaching for the dishwasher.

  “I can take care of that, Stone. Just leave it in the sink,” Agnes said.

  “Nope. Since I’m going to be around here even more often than I am now, I have to pull my weight.”

  “You always do. I’ll be happy to have you around here all the time after the wedding.”

  Agnes’s comment had me glancing at Stone. It was something we hadn’t discussed. Where we’d live after we were married. But it was something we needed to decide.

  “Aunt Agnes, I don’t want to impose. After we get married, I figured I’d move out.”

  She went quiet for a second. “I want you to be happy and live where you’re comfortable. So if you two want your own place, I understand. But I want you to know this. You're welcome here. Harper, when I’m gone, this house is yours.”

  “What?”

  “I have no children of my own. Who else would I leave it to but you? My favorite great niece.”

  “First of all you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.” I cut my gaze to Stone. “But thank you. We’ll talk about it.”

  She nodded. “You do that. And if you decide to stay here, when the babies come, you have the pick of the guest bedrooms for a nursery.”

  This was way more than I planned on discussing after having been engaged for less than eighteen hours. I saw Stone react as I had, with a bit of fear.

  We had discussed my changing my birth control. We had never discussed having babies.

  “Thank you, Agnes. Now we have to go. Apparently Stone has a surprise for me.”

  She laughed. “Better get her to wherever you’re going soon, Stone. She’s not good at waiting for things.”

  “Don’t I know it,” Stone chuckled. “See you later, Agnes.”

  He followed me outside to his truck where I climbed into the high passenger seat.

  Stone got behind the wheel and turned to me. “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” I slipped on a pair of sunglasses as a defense against the sun and my champagne headache and leaned my head back.

  As he drove I gave up trying to guess where we were going.

  When we ended up turning into some industrial park I was completely confused. Until Stone pulled into the parking lot past a sign that read, Mudville Inquisitor.

  “The local paper? Stone, if we’re going to submit our engagement announcement I would have liked some time to write it up. And God, they’re not doing photos today, are they?”

  I reached up and pushed my unwashed hair off my forehead. Any points he’d earned for his planning of the romantic proposal and choosing the perfect ring were about to be overshadowed by this current bad idea.

  “We’re not here for our engagement announcement, although, I guess we’ll need to do that soon.”

  “Then why are we here?” I asked as my tired brain searched for an answer.

  Did he want to subscribe to the paper under both our names now we were engaged? It would be a sweet gesture, but we could do that online, couldn’t we? And Agnes already subscribed.

  Stone cut the engine and walked around to open my door while I still tried to reason out why we were here.

  Then, somehow, the pieces started to fall in place. My eyes widened. “Did you decide to take the Mister Naughty column?”

  Was this his way of breaking the news to me?

  “Dammit, Harper.” Stone frowned, looking stern. “You make it almost impossible to surprise you. You know that?”

  “Sorry.”

  He let out a huff. “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have tried to keep it from you. Yes, I accepted the column. But that’s not the surprise.”

  “Then what is?”

  “The column is ours. Not just mine. I contacted the editor and pitched a dual column. His and hers. Kind of a he said, she said thing. Mister and Ms. Naughty. I told them the only way I’d do it was if you did it with me.”

  My heart thundered as I asked, “What did they say?”

  “They agreed with me that the reason the posts on the forum were so popular is because people enjoyed us bickering with each other. They loved the idea. The column is ours, if you want it.”

  I had to wrap my aching head around this new development.

  Meanwhile, he continued, “It shouldn’t interfere with your regular writing. I think we could knock it out in a few hours a week maybe—"

  “I want it.” I let out a shocked laugh. “Let’s do it.”

  "I was hoping you’d say that.” He grinned. “So, was this worth getting out of bed for?”

  “Yeah, I guess.” At his raised brows, I added with a smile, “Yes. It was.”

  Writing a column with my new husband. Of all the things I could have predicted this year would bring, this was not one of them.

  There was going to be a lot to talk about when I got to my parents’ house this afternoon. I’d called to tell them last night about the engagement, but now there was the news about the column too.

  An idea struck me and I said, “Hey, now that we’re engaged and writing partners, do you want to come with me downstate to visit my parents?”

  The look of fear on his face had me laughing. Stone shook his head. “Sorry. Can’t. I have to help get the tree lot ready.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Sure.” I cocked up one brow but couldn’t really blame him.

  First, I knew he did have to set up the Winter Wonderland at the farm market. But more than that, he’d already met my mother once. That first day at Morgan's when she’d accused him of selling her old corn and then said it was overpriced.

  That had been a hell of a day.

  Stone glanced at the time on the dashboard. “We’d better get inside. They’ll be waiting for us. It’s nine.”

  Although I strongly suspected he was changing the subject away from visiting my parents, I agreed. “All right, Mister Naughty. I’m ready.”

  He smiled. “So am I, soon-to-be Mrs. Naughty. So am I.”

  EPILOGUE

  Stone

  “Do you, Boone, take Sarah to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking all others, until death do you part?”

  “I do.” My little brother’s voice shook and I wondered if it was from nerves or tears.

  Damned if there wasn’t something making my eyes a little blurry as I watched him take his vows.

  Standing next to Harper in the small clearing between the trees, I watched the ceremony proceed beneath the twig arbor I’d built and had strung with white lights.

  With barely a week left until Christmas, there were fewer cut trees in the lot, which turned out to be a good thing since we needed the extra room for all the guests. It seemed half the town had turned out.

  There was no guest list for Boone and Sarah’s wedding. Just an open invitation to anyone who wanted to come. That was my little brother. He d
idn’t follow the rules.

  Just like how he and Sarah didn’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen. I signed their marriage certificate, along with Sarah’s sister, so I guess technically we were the best man and maid of honor, but that was where our official duties ended.

  No one had to worry about renting tuxedos or buying overpriced bridesmaid dresses.

  Although Cash and I did stick with tradition and take Boone out for one final blast last weekend for his bachelor party.

  We’d hit up every bar in the area. All three of them, ending with the one at Mudville House where we’d crashed in one of the guest rooms, courtesy of Brandon who’d joined us and comped not just the room but also our drinks and breakfast in the morning.

  I was happy to be able to stand with Harper and the rest of my family and the other guests rather than up at the altar with Boone.

  In fact, except for the extra work of getting the farm spruced up and decorated, which we had to do anyway for the Winter Wonderland and Christmas tree lot, this had all been easier than I’d anticipated.

  With Boone setting the precedent, I could only hope Harper would choose to do something similarly simple for our wedding.

  I glanced down at her now and caught her wiping away tears. I took that as a sign she approved of Boone and Sarah’s choices for the ceremony, which was now ending with the traditional kiss.

  Squeezing Harper closer to my side, I leaned down and said, “We’re next.”

  She glanced up at me with eyes glistening and a red nose from the cold. “Yeah.”

  “Come on. Let’s get you inside. It’s freezing out here.”

  Since we were outdoors, even with the heaters around us and the shortened ceremony the paster had kept brief in deference to the weather, it was too chilly to stay outside any longer than we had to.

  We followed the group as we all moved into the barn where more heaters were running and there was a table set up with mulled wine, and hot cider for the non-drinkers and kids.

  Tables laid with charcuterie boards laden with locally sourced cheese, meat and fruit dotted the space.

  The centerpiece of the room was the multi-tiered cupcake tower which soared high above the table. Apparently Boone and Sarah couldn’t decide on one flavor for their wedding cake, so they went with an assortment of cupcakes.

  I wasn’t complaining. Bethany’s cupcakes were the best.

  The biggest surprise of the night was that the former mayor’s daughter, Emily Pickett, was the musical entertainment until the band arrived.

  Harper had told me Emily had been the one to steal the campaign signs and then she proceeded to convince Boone to hire her anyway, proving life with Harper was bound to keep me on my toes.

  Emily’s guitar playing had accompanied Sarah up the aisle, but now she sat next to a Christmas tree, strumming and singing along to a familiar carol I recognized but couldn’t name.

  “This is so perfect.” Harper sighed. “I’m glad Boone and Sarah hired her instead of using a sound system.”

  I glanced down and saw her smiling as she watched Emily play. “Uh. Yeah.”

  I had to guess Harper didn’t know the rest of the reason why I was so surprised she’d convinced Boone to hire this particular musician.

  Emily and I had a history. Way, way back in high school. So long ago it was barely a distant memory. But I had a feeling Harper might not feel the same. Although, who knew? My woman never failed to surprise me.

  What was a shock was that no one had told her about Emily and me. That was both a miracle and a problem because that meant, in the interest of full disclosure, I would have to. And with all these people around who could spill the bean, I’d better do it now.

  This should be fun.

  “So, there’s something you should know,” I began.

  “Yeah?” She continued to watch Emily, not even looking at me as I spoke.

  “I, uh, lost my virginity to Emily Pickett when we were both seventeen.”

  She slowly pivoted to stare at me. “The guitarist?”

  “Yes.”

  “The mayor’s daughter?”

  “Yes.”

  "Did you date her?"

  "Nope."

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  “Okay? That’s it?” I was afraid to be relieved.

  “Yeah. It makes even more sense that she’d steal my signs. Maybe she was jealous of you and me.”

  I truly doubted that. I was just a blip in the timeline of her life, but if that theory made Harper happy, I was willing to go with it.

  “I guess.” This had gone well, which was probably why I still had the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  “But just so you know,” Harper began. “when we go to my next high school reunion together, I’m so gonna introduce you to the guy I lost my virginity to.”

  And there it was. That shoe hitting the floor.

  I smiled and pulled Harper closer. “I would expect nothing less.”

  I’d just gotten my lips near Harper’s when Red and Cash rushed over.

  “Oh my God. Isn’t this beautiful?” Red asked, clutching a cup of mulled wine with one hand and my brother with the other.

  Cash shook his head. “I have to admit, I thought Boone was nuts when he told us he wanted to have the wedding in the barn. But as it turns out, it works.”

  “It does,” Harper agreed, her eyes now on Boone and Sarah as they slow danced and looked so happy that even I was in danger of getting a little choked up.

  I wrapped my arms around Harper from behind and watched them as Cash said, “Next year, that’ll be you two.”

  “Have you decided when yet?” Red asked.

  “No. I love this idea, but I don’t want to copy Boone and Sarah and have a Christmas wedding too.”

  “They won’t mind.” Cash blew out breath. “Hell. We could make it a Morgan tradition. A wedding every Christmas.”

  “And who would be next after us?” I asked. “You and Red?”

  Both Red and Cash froze like a deer in headlights.

  “I’m not sure they’re up for that,” Harper said, watching them react just as I had.

  “Come on, you two. Jump in. The water’s fine.” I grinned, enjoying teasing my brother, especially now I could see how uncomfortable it made him.

  “You would say that.” Cash scowled at me. “Misery loves company, you know.”

  “Hey.” Harper glanced up at me. “I think I’ve just been insulted.”

  Red backhanded Cash. “Don’t be rude.”

  As Cash and Red debated his behavior, I leaned close to Harper’s ear. “Honestly, I’d be happy if we didn’t have a Christmas wedding.”

  “Why?” she asked, twisting to face me.

  “I’m not sure I want to wait a whole year to marry you.”

  She smiled. “Aww. You’re so sweet.”

  “So what month should we do it?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist.

  Now that I’d committed to her, I wanted to get the plans started.

  She narrowed her eyes, contemplating. “Maybe spring when the apple blossoms are blooming? That would be a pretty time of year. Or, no. Maybe fall when the leaves are changing and the pumpkins are ripe. But are you too busy then, harvesting or something?”

  I laughed, shaking my head at her.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “I think my city girl has turned country. You’re planning our wedding around the harvest. And no, I’d never be too busy to marry you. No matter what time of year it is. So choose whatever month you want.”

  She bit her lip. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

  “While you’re thinking, I have some good news for you.” I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten to tell her. Although it had been hectic getting all the last-minute things done for the wedding. “Your little library can stay at Agnes’s house.”

  “What?” Her eyes grew wide.

  “Yup.” I nodded. “So you—or more likely I—can paint o
ver your little message about it being private.

  “But how? Why?”

  I lifted a shoulder. “I was at the library board meeting during the week and heard some smug comments. Enough that I deduced it was the library board behind the complaint that led to the violation.”

  “You deduced?” she asked, with a smile.

  “Yes, I deduced. You’re not the only one who can use fancy words, you know.” I cocked up a brow in challenge.

  She wobbled her head back and forth. “Well, to be fair, it’s not that fancy of a word.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Do you want to hear this or not?”

  “Yes, of course I want to hear it.” She slapped at my arm playfully.

  I contemplated making her wait but then gave in. “So they admitted they made the complaint to the zoning board.”

  “But why?”

  “Apparently, so many people use your book box that they think it’s taking business away from the public library.”

  “What business? It’s not a store. They don’t sell books. They are on loan for free. And they’re only open like three days a week for a couple of hours and they don’t shelve any romance novels and—"

  I held up one hand to stop her rant. “I know. I know. That’s all true.”

  “Did you tell them all that?” she demanded.

  “Yes. And I also told them, in my new official capacity as mayor, that they had a choice. If you had to remove your little library, then the town library would have to step up to fill the need that yours serves. So they would have to add romance books to the collection and they’d have to expand their hours drastically.”

  She widened her eyes. “What did they say to that?”

  “That they would withdraw the complaint and wouldn’t pursue the technical violation on your little library.”

  “Technical violation, my ass—"

  “Hey. Relax. You won.”

  “I still want that stupid ordinance about no structures for public use being on private property overturned.”

  “Working on it, baby. There are a lot of archaic local codes that need looking at in this town. I can’t guarantee anything, but give me time.”

  As it turned out, I kind of enjoyed pawing through the code book. It was a nice change from scrolling through the posts on the Mudville forum.