Walls of Ash

by Amber Newberry

  “I have brought you some things. You are of the blood of the Eckhardt family, so I do not feel they are my place to keep, though I saved them from the men who came to take their debt repayment from my husband’s things. There is the family bible, it has a tree with all the names on it, including your Grandmother’s. There was also a second writing that had all the branches of illegitimate children. I found it in my husband’s things after he passed. I believe it was kept so that the Eckhardt’s could track those who might stand in the way of the fortune being passed down to pure blood. It would seem that it served the family well, until now. There are a great many secrets in these records that I will not elaborate on, as I’m sure you will see and understand for yourself.”

  She handed me the books which she pulled out of an old basket that was sitting beside the sofa.

  “I will not cause you any further damage, Lady Rhineholt. The Eckhardts have put both you and me through enough misery.” She stood.

  “Surely you must stay the night, it is a long ride to the inn--” Celia began, but Mrs. Eckhardt stopped her.

  “I cannot impose myself on you any longer.” She was looking at me when she said that.

  “I will take my things and be gone.” She took Celia’s offered hand and waited while she rang for Bernadine to come and take her to the door. As soon as she’d gone Celia turned to me.

  “What a strange woman!” she said, shaking her head.

  “I’m glad she’s gone,” I replied, not bothering to hide the disdain. I wanted to forget about the Eckhardts.

  Celia laughed and after a pause, “You know, I’m a little relieved, myself.” She came to sit next to me and looked down at the books.

  “Shall we look?” she asked. I was as eager to see what was inside the bindings as she was.

  The family bible was large and leather-bound with an embossed blue design on the cover. It was thick, and there was large, exaggerated writing in in blue and red before the black text of the verses began. I opened it to a page which had a golden tree painted on it with name after name, Eckhardt after Eckhardt leading down until it stopped with Otto. I slammed it shut and startled Celia. I passed the book over to her and moved on to the other.

  “Do you not want to find Damask?” she asked.

  “Perhaps later,” I said.

  The other book was thin and of a black leather. It was plain with no great detail apart from several gold lines down the spine. I opened it to see that it had many different styles of hand writing from generations of Eckhardts. The pages were yellowed and obviously were not properly cared for the way the family Bible had been. I began to read through the names that were simply written as a list, not as a tree. The names were separated by the countries of birth. I came to my Mother’s name and read the scrawled letters aloud.

  “Annaliese Eckhardt, born of Damask Eckhardt and Unknown”

  That was all it said of her, but there were several names in the England section, including my own. I was shocked that they were able to keep such good track of the so-called bastards of the family, and I was disgusted that they did so.

  “Tamsin Rhineholt, born of Annaliese Eckhardt and James Rhineholt”

  I read the two names that were before my own...

  “Mahon Crowley, born of Baldric Eckhardt and Flora Crowley”

  “Carmel Crowley, born of Baldric Eckhardt and Flora Crowley”

  So there were two children born of the same Eckhardt to one woman, who could only have been the mistress... and there was only one more after.

  “Edwina Crowley, born of Johann Eckhardt and Unknown”

  I saw that there was a letter “D” after many of the names, but only one of the names in the England section had one, “Carmel Crowley” and I assumed that must have meant the letter “D” was for “deceased.” I also noted that both Mahon and Edwina were of the same last name, and I wondered what the connection was. Crowley was a fairly common name in Britain but it certainly seemed odd that they would be listed both as illegitimate Eckhardts and by different Eckhardts, as well. I noted that there was a generational difference separated by my name and pointed it all out to Celia who was also puzzled by it. Could it be that one of the men had kept a secret family?

  I had heard of ship’s captains who had wives at every port along their trade route. It was not so far-fetched that the Eckhardts, who performed business in London often, might keep another family.

  I was glad that my interaction with the Eckhardts was finally and completely over so that I could move on from that chapter of my life. They continued to disgust me.

  CHAPTER 16

  It was a few days later, and I was in the drawing room reading when Julian came in. I still could not face the library, so I would only go in for a moment to get a book and usually read in the drawing room. He was just back from London and practically picked me up off of the chair I sat in. I attempted to wriggle free to no avail and gave him a scornful look for causing me to lose my place in the book.

  “How can you expect me to be away from you for a week and not want to touch you!” he said smiling down at me.

  “If you don’t let me go, I’ll never get any of the preparations done,” I said and he finally put me down. Celia stepped into the room and sighed, crossing her arms.

  “Julian, I’m glad you’re back but must you insist on handling her in such a manner? It’s positively distasteful without having been to the altar, yet,” she said, and I knew that she was not really mad, she was only trying to play the watchful caretaker, but I began to get angry that I was being treated as a child. Julian saw this and came to the rescue before I could say anything.

  “It was totally my fault. I am just back from bawdy old London, after all.” Celia’s hands were now on her hips. I scowled at the thought of all the coming gown fittings and preparations for not only Li’s wedding, but now mine, too. I was not so sure I could handle it all.

  “Tam, dear, the seamstress will be along tomorrow afternoon to start your trousseau so I will need you to--”

  “I don’t think I’ll be needing the seamstress. I will wear one of the gowns I got in London before we came here. They are all so lovely, there’s no need to spend the time on a new one,” I said, and Celia’s dismay was apparent. I pulled Julian along out of the room. I noticed that he shrugged at a shocked Celia on the way out.

  She was calling my name, but we ran, laughing down the corridor and out the door. We ran through the garden and out into the field where he had found Leo and me standing in the rain. When we were far enough away from the house that we could not hear Celia calling for us anymore, we stopped and hid between the blades of grass.

  My head rested on Julian’s arm, and we stared up into a cloudless sky. A chill was in the air now and the leaves were beginning to turn from green to hues of orange, brown, and dark red. The sun shone through the trees and appeared red, filtered by the leaves. It was just after tea time, and I knew that Celia would be angry with us at dinner, but we didn’t care, this was contentment. We lay like that for a long time before I sat up with my arms around my knees facing Julian.

  “I want to tell you some things. While you were gone, Mrs. Eckhardt came to visit.” He shot up.

  “You let that woman come here? How could you do something so stupid?” He was looking at me with hard eyes.

  “She wrote, and it was Celia’s idea to let her come. She had information on my Grandmother, and I had hoped about my mother, as well...”

  “And?” he asked, he was now leaning up on his elbows, interested in what I had to say.

  “She gave me the Eckhardt family Bible and another book. Their family has been keeping track of illegitimate heirs for some time, over one hundred years,” I said.

  “So it turns out they were all demented,” he said.

  “Mrs. Eckhardt said that it was a way to ensure that the family fortune would fall only into the hands of pure blooded Eckhardts. There was no fortune left to be had, so she brought the only thing that was left
to me... She was odd, though I do not feel she had intent against me,” I said.

  “I still think it was a bad idea to let her into this house. Especially with Leo and I gone to London,” he said.

  “It was unpleasant, but I did find something interesting in the books. There are apparently two other living illegitimate Eckhardts somewhere in England. One born before me and one after, but both by the last name Crowley. There was another of the same last name, but it appears she is deceased. Don’t you think it odd that there is more than just myself?” I asked.

  “That is rather bizarre. Do you think that they might be cause for concern?”

  “I don’t know. Mrs. Eckhardt had nothing to say for them. I would assume they probably don’t even know that they are Eckhardts.”

  “I hope they realize it’s all over if they do know. The Eckhardts had no fortune left to fight over, even if there was, I daresay it would serve you well to refuse it.” Julian was looking at the trees again.

  “I think you are right about that,” I said and we were quiet again for a moment.

  “Creeda said some disturbing things to me when I went to see her,” I began.

  “That woman, she was a good nurse to Leo and me, but I don’t think you should take what she says too seriously. That old bat tried to tell me that something terrible would befall me in India, and I’ve been at least three times since, and I appear to be fine,” he said with his hands out, gesturing to his chest.

  “I found her words alarming. She knew that I have been affected by nightmares for some time, now. She said that they are the key to discovering the ‘evil that pursues.’ It just seems uncanny that she would know something that I have talked about with so few people,” I said, watching Julian’s expression.

  “I imagine it was just a guess. It would be easy to see if someone was not sleeping well by the dark circles beneath their eyes.” He touched my cheek.

  “Sometimes I wonder if they will haunt me forever.” I was twirling a blade of grass between my fingers.

  “It has been so long and nearly every night in my sleep, I see Rhineholt burning.” The wind picked up and the tall, golden field looked like a body of water with waves swelling across it.

  “It takes time to move past the things you have dealt with. Maybe it’s time you went to see Rhineholt? It might help you to see that this ordeal is finished. It will, no doubt, be a shock, but maybe it would help?” he asked. I thought about it in silence then finally gave my answer.

  “We can try that. You will come with me?”

  “Of course,” he said, and he leaned back with his arms crossed beneath his head and closed his eyes.

  “I’ll be going to London in early November for a few weeks. You and Celia can accompany me to town, and we will part ways a few days after. I daresay Celia can occupy herself with shopping.” He opened one eye and squinted from the sunlight.

  “Celia could buy out the village in a few days’ time,” I moved so that I was on my side with my face cradled in my hand, looking at Julian.

  “At least it will keep her off our backs for a while,” he opened one eye and smiled at me.

  * * *

  I was right to assume that Celia would be looking for me as soon as I came back in. Julian went to see his father, and we parted ways so that I could go and dress for dinner. Celia was waiting for me in my room.

  “I am sorry for the way I acted earlier, I just...” She shook her head as I said it and patted the bed asking me to come and sit with her.

  “You do not have to apologize to me. Sometimes I forget that you are not my daughter. You know that I do feel an urge to treat you as such, perhaps that gets a little out of hand at times. Li has been a dear to let me take over for her wedding plans. You have been patient with me for some time, as well.” She spoke quietly, obviously ashamed.

  “Well, I don’t think that Li minds all that much, though neither of us seem to have adoration for dress fittings,” I said.

  “That is why I have come to see you,” she said, “I think that Li’s wedding will be rather large and perhaps it will be a big undertaking for poor Madame Bourdeaux and Bernadine. It might be a pleasant break for them if Christmas Eve is a little more of an intimate affair?”

  “You would not mind?” I was relieved.

  “Of course not. It is your day, after all. I think that Julian would prefer it that way, also,” she said, smiling.

  “Thank you!” I said and kissed her on the cheek. “That sounds perfect!”

  “Perhaps you would rethink the seamstress’s part in all of this?” She asked, and I raised an eyebrow.

  “It does not have to be excessively elaborate, but I think you would like to have something to pass down. I was thinking that perhaps you might want to refashion my own, since I do not have a daughter to pass the gown on to. It would only need small changes, to update it.”

  “I think I can manage that,” I smiled. This seemed to appease her, and we talked about the small number of people who we would ask to be there. I insisted that she allow Fleur and Bernadine to attend the ceremony. Celia looked as though she wanted to protest, but she did not, knowing that I would not drop the subject until she agreed.

  * * *

  The day of Li’s wedding finally arrived. We stayed in her room the night before, and it was like old times. We giggled away well into the night and slept only a little then got out of bed just as the sun was lighting up the bedroom. Breakfast and lunch were served in Li’s bedroom to ensure that Leo would not see her, as it might bring them bad luck on their wedding day. Celia joined us for lunch and almost immediately after that we began dressing for the ceremony.

  The wedding gown was resplendent. It was white with gold embellishments that were scattered all about the skirt, which was followed with a very long train. The shoulders of the gown came to a rolled fabric with gold lace that stuck straight up and fanned out. She wore a long veil that was accented with tiny pearls all over. Beneath it, Li’s hair was crowned by three gold ribbons that wrapped around the curly bunch atop her head. She was radiant.

  My gown was silver. It was the first time Celia asked that the seamstress did not use green, though I still wore a necklace that was spotted with emeralds. The light material came apart in the middle of the skirt to reveal a white underskirt that had the same embellishments as Li’s, only in silver. The shoulders of my gown were similar to Li’s but not nearly as extravagant, and my hair was also piled high on my head, but it was wrapped around with two silver ribbons which had a square pattern.

  Li’s step-father bestowed Leo with an exceptional dowry, and she was told that her trousseau rivaled that of a French princess, which delighted her. She thought it was far too much, but for once she was enjoying the attention. Had she actually made it out for the entire season in London, I think she might have done very well. She was happy with Leo, though, and I could not think of a better man for her to wind up with.

  The whole of the wedding was exquisite. All of society was staying at Hilbourne, thanks to Celia, and she could not have been happier for it. The dining hall had been filled end to end for several nights leading up to the wedding. Li did not care for the crowd so much, but I think that she was finally enjoying that people were making such a fuss over her.

  At one point, we realized Celia forgot Li’s bouquet downstairs, so I left them to go and find it. Everything had to be just so, and I found opportunity to escape the bustling women who were buttoning gowns and ruffling skirts in the room. As I descended the stairs, Julian was coming up, and we both stopped to survey one another. He wore a blue velvet jacket and his cravat was accented with the same tiny pearls that were placed on my gown and on Li’s veil.

  Our eyes did not move from one another as we passed on the stairs, but he did not touch me knowing that Celia would lose her composure if one fold of fabric came back upstairs out of place. When I turned at the bottom of the stairs to look up, he was at the top looking down at me. We smiled at one another, and then I w
alked away, with his eyes still on me, to retrieve the missing flowers.

  The ceremony was held in the chapel at Hilbourne, which was in the original monastic part of the Abbey. I had never seen Li look more happy, and I guessed that Leo felt the same because his reaction to her as she entered the chapel could only be described as awe. Celia called the moment ‘just perfect.’ Then she wept with the realization that her son was getting married.

  There was a ball after the ceremony that was surely the most splendid affair for society that year. Reginald had rare wine shipped in from Italy, and there was also a drink called Courvoisier which was said to be Napoleon’s favorite, though I was sure he would not be enjoying any while he was locked safely away on the isle of Saint Helena.

  The ballroom was decorated in beautiful shades of gold and autumn hues which really seemed to compliment both Li and her gown. It was a welcome change from the pastels that were the style in London. There was also a string quartet and a man who played the large piano while the guests danced. When Li finally broke away from her many congratulations to dance with Leo, you could see how they longed to be alone. They were truly happy together and Celia was absolutely right, it was all ‘just perfect.’

  Julian found himself tied up with many of the guests in attendance, as well. I stood with the old couple who I’d met at breakfast at Li’s engagement party when he came over to me and took my hand, leading me to the dance floor.

  “Madame, you have a look that competes with the bride herself! How very scandalous that you have schemed to take all the attention from her,” he joked as we spun around the floor.

  “I was only hoping for the attention of one,” I said back, and he knew I meant him.

  “Surely you jest, not an eye is off of you at this moment.” He looked around the room.

  “You are ridiculous!”

  “I am only telling you what I see.” He smiled down at me.