Almost Lost

by Blake Pierce

  She was about to continue, and explain that Ryan had asked her to return it as poisons affected the food chain, but Trish interrupted.

  “Well, are you going to put some out? It won’t kill any mice standing on the counter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted. I was supposed to return yesterday morning, but we had to stay on to organize additional press conferences. I’ll be resting now, until I have to fetch the children.”

  She walked out of the kitchen with her drinks.

  Cassie watched her go, feeling sick with doubt.

  She’d had a chance to look at Trish’s neatly manicured hands while she was carrying the tea, and on the third finger of her left hand there was an elegant gold ring.

  The evidence was indisputable.

  There was a valid reason for Trish’s extended absences. None of her actions since she’d arrived back had hinted that there was any conflict between herself and Ryan, never mind a divorce being in the cards.

  Cassie was starting to suspect that she had been misled in the worst, most terrible way. How was any of this possible?

  She’d slept with Ryan—slept with him—believing he was genuinely divorced when in fact he was married and had been spinning a sob story.

  What would happen if Trish found out?

  Cassie buried her face in her hands as the horror of her situation hit home.

  Here she was, living as part of the family, under the delusion that the man of the house was divorced and available. She’d kissed him; she’d slept with him and spent the night in his room. She hadn’t made a secret of it because she’d seen no need to.

  Had Ryan been lying to her all along?

  Cassie never wanted to open her eyes again.

  Eventually, she managed to pull herself together enough to stand up. She stared numbly at the hardware store bag on the counter.

  Trish had said she must use it, Ryan had said not to. Until she was told otherwise, she was going to go with what Ryan said. She put the bag in the broom cupboard.

  Then she walked back to her room, with fresh waves of horror hitting her every step of the way as she thought about her situation, how trusting she had been, how recklessly she’d behaved as a result.

  When she saw her phone lying on the bedside table, her heart nearly stopped as she remembered the cheerful email she’d sent to Jess. It was insane that an hour ago she’d believed herself to be in a completely different situation.

  At some stage, Jess would open that mail and read its outdated, incriminating content. Her tell-all, when she thought she’d had nothing to hide.

  No wonder the children had never shared with her about the divorce. It was because their family was still together, although their mother was away a lot. Which they were presumably used to, and why they hadn’t mentioned her much.

  Cassie stayed holed up in her room for the afternoon, hiding away from Trish in a state of utter shock. She’d never felt so miserable, or so alone, in her life. She thought of calling Ryan but didn’t know what she should say, and what if Trish overheard her speaking to him?

  When it was time for the children to be picked up, she heard Trish walk down the corridor and the click of the front door as she left. Cassie heard the sound of a car starting up, and she was gone.

  The front door opened again ten minutes later and she heard Ryan call out, “Hello!”

  At the sound of his voice, adrenaline surged inside her. She didn’t feel as if she was welcoming her lover home, but rather as if she was preparing to do battle with an enemy.

  She burst out of her room and marched down the hall to find Ryan taking off his coat.

  “Afternoon, gorgeous,” he greeted her.

  Cassie was having none of it.

  “Ryan, what the hell is going on? Your wife just arrived back from an overseas trip. Your wife. Not your ex. Your actual wife. She said she lives here. You didn’t tell me about any of this. I had no idea you were still married, or that she was coming back here. Do you know how much of a fool I felt when she explained?”

  Cassie could feel herself hyperventilating. She feared she would explode from the emotions boiling inside her.

  “It’s OK. It’s OK. Calm down, Cassie,” Ryan said.

  “Calm down? You want me to calm down after she walked into your bedroom and put her bag in there, and told me she travels overseas a lot, and the rest of the time she lives here? What the hell am I supposed to be calm about?”

  “She—” Ryan began, but Cassie was unstoppable.

  “And there is a wedding ring on her finger. A wedding ring! I saw it, right there on the third finger of her left hand. Ryan, you need to tell me the truth now. I am not accepting any more lies.”

  Her voice was rising to a scream.

  “Cassie, please. Don’t be upset. Come here.”

  Ryan spoke gently.

  “Please, come into the lounge. Sit down.”

  Cassie didn’t feel like sitting. She was far too angry. But Ryan shepherded her into the family room and somehow she found herself on the couch, remembering that this was where they had first kissed, and where he’d first told her that he wanted her to be a part of his life.

  “Cassie, listen to me. Please.”

  He sat next to her, his knee touching hers. Angrily, Cassie pulled her legs away. She didn’t want to touch him, ever again. It was all she could do to look into his handsome, lying face.

  “We are separated. The divorce is pending. The only step that has to be completed is that some of the documents need signing. You are right, and I must apologize because I didn’t tell you how badly Trish was taking all of this.”

  Cassie glared at him, challenging him to make her believe his version.

  “She has been acting very erratically since we started the process. Coming back on short notice like this is just one example. There have been a few others.”

  Cassie was going to demand that he name them, but Ryan continued.

  “She suffers from depression. It’s been a problem for a while. Remember I said how demanding, how needy, she was becoming?”

  Reluctantly Cassie nodded.

  “It was symptomatic of what she was suffering, because I do understand it’s an illness. It meant I had to proceed very slowly with this. Even though our relationship isn’t what it was, I still feel responsible for her. I couldn’t even make a start on the process until her medication was right. That took months, and Cassie, they were not happy months.”

  She stared at Ryan and no matter how hard she looked, she could only see truth in his eyes.

  Then she remembered that Trish hadn’t looked like a depressed person. She knew herself what depression was like, how anxiety was the devil on your shoulder that never went away.

  Although, perhaps Trish was able to hide it well, if her meds were finally in balance.

  “She’s the mother of my children,” Ryan continued. “I would never forgive myself if my actions, my own selfishness, caused her to harm herself. So I have been patient. More patient, and more accommodating, than you’ll ever know.”

  He sighed.

  “This is just the latest hurdle but it’s the final one. I didn’t want her to come back here—but if she has had a hectic business trip and wants somewhere familiar to lay her head while this whole process wraps up, I can’t say no. Would you say no?”

  “Where’s she been living?” Cassie challenged him.

  “She has been renting an apartment close to Heathrow Airport. It makes sense for her to be there because she travels so much, but the problem is she has no friends or support structure nearby. I told her she should rent within the village until all this was finalized, but she refused. I guess she was worried that people might talk.”

  Cassie shook her head.

  “You didn’t even tell me. Do you have any idea how upset I felt when she walked in?”

  Ryan leaned closer and she thought he wanted to take her hand, so she pulled it away and bunched her hands together in her lap.

  “I d
idn’t know she was arriving now. She told me she was stopping by work first, and would get here after supper. I intended to sit down with you before we collected the children, and explain what was going to happen. I see she’s had a look at the timetable and has gone off to pick up the kids herself.”

  “Yes,” Cassie said.

  She suddenly felt like bursting into tears because she’d been longing to catch up with the children and to find out how their big performance in Canterbury had gone. It would have meant a lot to her to have been waiting when the bus arrived.

  “Please, Cassie, help me get through this. It’s not going to be easy, but it hopefully won’t be for too long. If you want proof of my feelings toward you, I brought you a present. As a thank-you for being so special, and to remember the amazing experience we had while away.”

  To Cassie’s astonishment, he produced a small velvet box from his pocket and handed it to her.

  She opened it, realizing her hands were shaking.

  Inside was a pair of gold earrings, with beautiful green jewels set in the shape of flowers.

  “The stones are emeralds. When I saw them, I thought how beautiful that color would look on you. It’s a gift from the heart, because you’ve brought so much joy into my life, but it’s also a promise. We have a future together. We just have to get through the next few days. You are strong enough. I hope I’m strong enough.”

  Cassie stared down at the earrings.

  Did they make a difference?

  She decided they did. Ryan’s calm, logical words had finally gotten through to her and they made sense. She accepted that this was just the final, difficult phase of a tricky divorce.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll try. But please, Ryan, this can’t go on too long.”

  “It won’t,” he promised.

  *

  Trish arrived home with the children at five.

  Cassie had hoped to hear all about their adventures, but when she came out of her room to greet them, she found herself facing two sullen children who barely acknowledged her. Madison headed straight for the bathroom, and Dylan folded himself down on his bean bag in the dining room.

  Cassie hovered nervously at the dining room door.

  “How was your trip?” she asked.

  Dylan looked up from his book reluctantly.

  “It was OK,” he said, and then turned back to his reading.

  The bathroom door slammed, and Cassie hurried off, hoping to catch up with Madison, but she marched into her bedroom and closed the door firmly.

  Standing outside, Cassie frowned. She was sure Madison had seen her, but the closed door was a clear message she didn’t want to talk.

  Then, to her surprise, she smelled food cooking in the kitchen.

  Ryan had told her that the family had fast food on Sundays, usually pizza. Trish either hadn’t remembered about this, or maybe it only happened when she was away. Either way, she was cooking for the family and that unsettled Cassie, because what had happened to Ryan preparing all the meals? It felt as if Trish was entrenching herself.

  Cassie went back to her own room, feeling like a dog with its tail between its legs. She didn’t venture out again until she heard Trish calling out for everyone to come for supper.

  The square kitchen table was made for four. Five was a squeeze. Trish had set a place for her next to Madison, but there wasn’t enough space and Cassie had to shift sideways so that her legs were on either side of the table leg. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and gave her the feeling that she truly was a fifth wheel in the home.

  The children ate in silence, and Trish updated Ryan on her trip and asked after people Cassie knew nothing about. From the context she realized some of them lived in the village.

  “The Richardsons are opening a stationery store in town,” Ryan said.

  “Part of the post office? Or separate?”

  “I believe it’s opposite. On the other side of the road.”

  “I’m unconvinced about the viability of a stationery store in this small town,” Trish said. “If it was part of the post office, it would be different. But separate, I’m not sure.”

  Cassie could contribute nothing toward this conversation. She ate her food, discovering that Trish was a substandard cook and the chicken pasta she had made was bland and under-seasoned. She wished she could be somewhere else. Sitting at this table made her remember all the other times she’d enjoyed meals here, and how during every dinner, she’d been looking forward to sharing wine with Ryan outside. That would be impossible now.

  “There was a power outage yesterday morning,” Madison said.

  “Really?” Trish asked.

  “There was a scary storm and then everything went dark.”

  “That must have been frightening,” Trish said. “Are there flashlights in the bathroom and in your bedrooms? That’s something you could see to tomorrow,” she said, addressing Cassie for the first time.

  “During storm season these outages are fairly frequent,” she continued. “If there are flashlights in everyone’s rooms, you won’t have to find your way to the bathroom in the dark.”

  “I know my way around,” Madison protested. “Sometimes I test myself by walking to the bathroom with my eyes closed.”

  “You must think of others. It’s a long walk from the guest bedroom to your bathroom.”

  Madison frowned, puzzled.

  “Cassie wasn’t sleeping—”

  Just in time, Cassie realized what the young girl was going to say.

  With a mouth full of food, she had no way of stopping the innocent statement that was going to land both her and Ryan in an ocean of trouble.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Cassie knocked her water over.

  It was the only conversation-stopper she could think of.

  She slammed the back of her hand into the glass, and it thumped down onto its side. Water sluiced all over Madison’s plate, which was almost untouched, and into Madison’s lap.

  Madison uttered a dismayed shout.

  “It’s cold! Yuck!”

  Cassie hastily swallowed her food.

  “Sorry, Maddie. That was clumsy of me,” she apologized.

  Ryan jumped up and grabbed a dish towel from the hook above the sink.

  Cassie’s heart was pounding from delayed shock at the bombshell Madison had come so close to dropping. She helped Madison mop up the splashes on her lap and dried the table while Ryan dished another helping of food for her.

  “Do you want some more water?” Trish asked Cassie, coolly polite, once everything was back to normal.

  “No, thanks. I’m fine,” Cassie said. She felt even more on edge than before, knowing that at any moment, innocent dinner table conversation could give the game away

  She glanced at Madison anxiously, but she was not her talkative self, and had relapsed into silence again.

  Once everyone had finished their food, Trish checked her watch.

  “It’s already after seven, and we are meeting the Robinsons at half past. Do you need to get changed?” she asked Ryan.

  Cassie couldn’t stop herself from gaping in astonishment at what was unfolding before her eyes.

  “It’s only drinks at the Seafarer’s Arms. It’ll be fairly casual,” Ryan said.

  “Well, we’d better get going.” Trish turned to Cassie. “You’ll ensure the children are put to bed by eight thirty? And could you tidy the kitchen?”

  “Sure, I—sure. I’ll do that.”

  Cassie had to bite back a stinging retort, realizing it would be completely out of place. After all, she had been hired to do this work. She just hadn’t thought she would be taking instructions from Ryan’s wife.

  Ryan walked out of the kitchen, humming to himself, and a minute later, he and Trish were on their way out.

  Cassie turned on the TV for the children and then headed back to the kitchen, agonizing over Ryan and Trish. She’d never been to the Seafarer’s Arms but guessed it was among the pubs and restaurants d
own by the harbor. From the sounds of it they were meeting a married couple.

  Another married couple, Cassie corrected herself.

  This seemed like a normal life being lived; that was the most worrying part of this whole inexplicable situation. When had this drinks arrangement been made? Why had it even been made if there was so much uncertainty surrounding their relationship?

  She wished she could drive down to the pub and peer through the windows and see how Ryan and Trish were interacting, whether they seemed friendly, or even loving. Was Trish going to try and use this outing to make Ryan change his mind and rethink the divorce?

  Cassie stopped herself as she was putting the salt and pepper shakers into the dishwasher, realizing she was so distracted she was messing up horribly with the simple job of tidying.

  Rechecking, she found a few idiotic errors. The cheese was in the cupboard and she’d folded a dirty dish towel and put it back with the clean ones. Quickly she corrected her mistakes, now frantic with worry that she would keep buckling under stress. Trish seemed to be a stickler for correctness and Cassie didn’t think she looked like the forgiving type. Even a small slip-up might land her in trouble.

  She went back into the family room to find that Dylan had already gone to bed, and Madison was dozing on the sofa. She’d been doing a puzzle, but the tray had tipped sideways and some of the pieces had fallen onto the floor.

  “Come on. It’s bedtime. You’ve had a busy day,” Cassie said, carefully righting the tray to salvage as much of Madison’s work as possible.

  “What time is it?” Madison asked, confused.

  Cassie glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece.

  “It’s a quarter to nine.”

  She’d run late without even realizing it.

  On her hands and knees, Cassie picked up the puzzle pieces and peered under the couch to make sure none of the others had fallen out of sight.

  She could see no puzzle pieces, but something else, pushed far under the low-slung couch, caught her eye.

  Scrabbling her fingers along the carpet, Cassie grasped it and pulled it out, before staring at it in consternation.