Almost Lost

by Blake Pierce

  “He told me to come round for drinks on the balcony,” Harriet continued. “Then he invited me down the pub. I’ll tell you one thing, he knows how to make a girl fall for him. Those looks, that talk. We slept together a few times, once at his place, the rest at mine. He teased me for having green hair—it was pale green at the time. I told him I’d dye it pink and he dared me to. Then, suddenly, he wasn’t there for two of my afternoons. When I arrived next time, and you were there, it was like talking to a damn stranger. It was like he’d never said, “Oh, Harriet, I’m so lonely and you’re so beautiful.”

  She sniffed hard.

  “Then I saw the way he spoke to you and I was upset. I thought you’d stolen him.”

  Cassie shook her head vehemently. She didn’t want Harriet to believe that for a moment, although she could see why she’d thought so.

  “I didn’t steal him. I didn’t know about any of this. He told me on the phone that he was divorced and that’s why he needed help with the kids. I thought he was telling the truth. Why would he lie?”

  She felt as if she was asking herself the helpless, unanswerable question, but at the same time she longed to find a logical explanation for Ryan’s actions, to prove him truthful despite the weight of evidence building up against him.

  Harriet shrugged. “Some people are like that, I guess. They can’t help but lie.”

  Cassie had never thought that there were people—ordinary people—who would create a fictitious reality for no good reason when they didn’t have to. She was battling to accept this truth.

  Harriet sighed. “Anyway, I didn’t mean to hit you with my car, just to give you a fright. I was so angry when I saw you on the road, but honest, the minute I swerved I started feeling terrible, as if I’d gone too far, as if he’d made me into a bad person and someone I wasn’t.”

  Cassie rubbed Harriet’s shoulders, understanding full well what that was all about.

  “So anyway, you go for it, date him, do whatever, but you should know what he’s like, and what he did to me.”

  “I don’t want to have anything more to do with him, or even spend another night in that house,” Cassie confessed. “Dating’s not in the cards anyway, it’s like I’m already history and nothing ever happened between us. I feel like I’ve been used, too. I feel completely messed up over all of this. I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t.”

  Harriet’s face hardened.

  “Best advice I can give you? Get out of there. You don’t want to be involved in that situation. He’s a liar and a user. I’ve asked to switch shifts with one of the other cleaners, so this afternoon will be the last time I work there, and after that someone else can deal with him. I never want to walk through that door again.”

  Harriet climbed to her feet.

  “I’d better get on. I’m really sorry about what’s happened to you and I apologize again for swerving at you.”

  As Cassie left, she called after her.

  “By the way, I meant it when I said whoever messed with your car, that wasn’t me. No lies. I’d tell you if I’d done it but I didn’t. That was somebody else.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  As the front door of the cozy double-story slammed behind her, Cassie felt like throwing up. Harriet’s story had exposed betrayal of the worst possible kind.

  She stumbled across the road and collapsed onto a concrete drain cover. It was cold and damp, and her jeans would be wet when she got up, but she didn’t care.

  For a few minutes she sat, staring blankly at the road, trying to take in what Harriet had said, and what it meant.

  Slowly, logical thought returned.

  Cassie supposed that Harriet might not have told the whole truth. For a start, Cassie thought she might be lying about having not tampered with her car. After all, swerving at someone was attempted damage, but cutting a car’s wires was actual damage, and a person could get into trouble for doing it.

  However, her confession about the affair, and those stormy tears, had seemed genuine. It all made sense—Harriet’s instant dislike of her, competing for Ryan’s attention, the way she’d snapped and stormed out when she’d realized what was going on. Cassie couldn’t blame her. She knew, too, what it was like to have her world fall apart.

  She had thought this home and this family to be a safe haven, after the nightmare of her previous job with Pierre Dubois.

  Now she was starting to realize that Ryan’s actions had actually been more damaging than Pierre’s. Certainly, Ryan had been more deliberately dishonest with her than Pierre had ever been.

  Cassie couldn’t bear thinking about it any longer. She climbed to her feet and reluctantly turned back toward home.

  Arriving back at the house, she was relieved that Ryan and Trish weren’t there. She had no idea when they would be back, because they hadn’t left a note, and Ryan hadn’t messaged her.

  Even though the house was empty, it felt filled with memories and false hopes. Each sight and smell reminded her of her dreams that she and Ryan would make it their home together.

  Every time she thought about what had happened, a new wave of disbelief hit her. Her brain simply couldn’t accept that everything she’d been told was a lie, and the foundation she’d built her trust on had proved to be as flimsy as a house of cards.

  Thinking of cards reminded her of the magic show they’d watched on that sunny Sunday, when she’d taken the children on their first outing. She still had that damned card in her purse.

  Cassie took out the paper packet the magician had given her, sealed with a sticker, and felt the shape of the card inside.

  The queen of hearts, signifying love, had been gifted to her at a time when she was beginning to hope that there might be a special spark between her and Ryan.

  With a sigh, she opened the packet.

  Cassie stared down in consternation.

  The card inside was the two of spades.

  The magician hadn’t given her the queen at all. His final trick had been slotting a different card inside. One that was disposable, and that he didn’t need to use for his next audience.

  Looking at the card, thinking of the misdirection she’d experienced right here in this house, Cassie felt sick. Harriet was right. Leaving was the only option. She didn’t want to spend another night here.

  She crumpled up the card and tossed it away.

  With a jolt, she realized she had no idea whether Ryan had even told the truth about getting her car fixed. She’d have to hope that he had kept his word in that regard and that it was really where he’d promised to take it.

  She was still worrying about the logistics of the car when Trish arrived back with the children.

  “Would you look after them for the afternoon?” she asked Cassie. “I’m helping Ryan rearrange his office.”

  “No problem,” Cassie said, giving a big fake smile that hurt her face.

  Knowing that Harriet would arrive any minute for her final shift, Cassie decided that after the confessions they had shared earlier, it would be better for both of them if she wasn’t home.

  “Shall we go for a walk to that cake shop down the road?” she asked the children, thinking she would also take the names of the closest guesthouses, so she could plan where to go later that night.

  “Good idea,” Dylan agreed. “There’s a bookshop inside that tearoom. They have some fun books.”

  Madison, however, wasn’t so eager.

  “I’m tired. I don’t want to go out again.”

  Cassie bit her lip. Madison clearly had issues and Cassie was starting to worry that it was because she had worked out what Cassie and her father had been doing.

  Her world would have been shattered, too. Most likely she was confused, upset, and resentful.

  For all she knew, Dylan might feel the same way but was hiding it better.

  “Come on Maddie,” Dylan encouraged her. “The bookshop’s a fun place.”

  Eventually, Madison agreed, and while they changed out of their
school uniforms, Cassie counted her money.

  She hadn’t been officially paid yet, but every time Ryan had given her money for shopping, he’d told her to keep the change. There was enough to pay for lunch at the cake shop and a night at a guesthouse, and she’d be able to go into a bank tomorrow and withdraw more.

  Out on the road, Cassie photographed two of the guesthouse signboards as they passed.

  “It’s a beautiful afternoon,” she said, hoping to encourage some conversation and break through Madison’s silence.

  The tearoom half a mile down the hill was warm and cozy, and it had a good selection of secondhand books. Once they’d had lunch and hot chocolate, and Cassie had allowed them each a slice of carrot cake in defiance of the healthy eating rule, they spent some time sitting by the fireplace with the books they’d bought.

  “What are you reading, Madison?” Cassie asked, hoping she could start up a friendly conversation.

  “It’s a story about a girl who goes to boarding school,” Madison replied curtly.

  Cassie felt at a loss. Clearly Madison was still set on the idea and she had no idea why.

  “Is there a reason you want to go to boarding school?” she asked in a gentle voice.

  Madison shook her head firmly.

  “I can’t tell you now,” she said.

  It was almost dark when they finally headed home. When they reached the house Cassie was relieved to find Harriet had gone.

  “Glad to see you lovely people are home,” Ryan called out as he heard the front door open.

  “We went to the cake shop,” Dylan said. “We had carrot cake and read books.”

  “Cake?” Trish called from the kitchen, sounding stern. “I hope it hasn’t spoiled your appetite for supper. It’ll be ready at six.”

  Cassie headed straight to her room and spent an hour packing her things. By six, she had all her bags ready and her shelves cleared. She was ready to go.

  There would be only one more dinner to endure.

  At the table, Madison had no appetite and Trish reprimanded her.

  “You know the rules. No snacks in between meals, and no cake or sweets during the week. That’s naughty, Maddie.”

  “It was Cassie’s fault,” Dylan said.

  “I didn’t know the rules,” Cassie explained, but Trish had clearly lost interest in the discussion. With a deliberate shrug, she turned to Ryan.

  “My next business trip will be finalized tomorrow. It’s a European tour with a panel of scientists. They’re deciding on the cities tonight. Paris, Frankfurt, and Amsterdam are definite, and it might also include Vienna, Rome, and Istanbul.”

  Cassie ate in silence as, once again, Trish and Ryan discussed a topic that neither she nor the children could contribute to.

  She was glad when dinner was over and she could clear the plates away and head to the family room for television time. Cassie suffered through the hour, fuming with impatience for it to be over. She listened anxiously because although Ryan and Trish hadn’t said they had plans to go out again, she couldn’t leave the children if they did. No matter how angry she was, it would be unfair to Dylan and Madison. After all, none of this was their doing.

  Cassie was reassured to hear Trish say, from the kitchen, “I’m off to bed. I have an early start tomorrow.”

  “I’ll join you in a minute,” Ryan replied.

  After putting the children to bed at half past eight, it was time for Cassie to make her move. The local guesthouses didn’t accept check-ins after nine p.m. and the closest one was a ten-minute walk away. It would take her longer with heavy bags in tow.

  Getting the bags out of the house quietly was a major challenge. The wooden floorboards seemed to amplify the sound of luggage wheels. After wheeling her bag across the bedroom, Cassie was conscious of the unmistakable noise it made. She decided she would have to carry the bags out one by one. It would take longer, but be less risky.

  Cassie opened the door and looked out.

  All quiet. The hall light was off.

  She grasped the heaviest bag and hefted it a few steps. It was so heavy that she had to put it down again and have a breather before doing another few steps.

  Being quiet was costing her far too much time. The bag seemed to weigh more each time she picked it up, and her limbs were burning with the effort.

  Eventually she was outside, and she placed the bag on the front porch, breathing hard.

  She went back for the smaller bag and followed the same process.

  Step by quiet step, she eased the bag out of the house.

  The final journey was the easiest one, with just her purse and her shoulder bag. She paused at the bedroom door, wondering if she should leave a note, but decided not to. There would be no point. Ryan would have no difficulty in figuring out why she left. The only thing he might wonder was why she’d stayed as long as she had.

  She closed the bedroom door quietly and headed down the hall for the last time.

  She reached the front door, stepped through, and stood for a moment, breathing hard, watching her breath misting in the glow from the porch lantern.

  The night was quiet and cloudless, with a cool, steady breeze. In the dark sky she could see stars, bright and clear. Despite the chilliness of the air, the effort of that heavy lifting had made her hot. Relieved that she could drag the bags along from here on, she pulled out their handles.

  Then a click behind her made her jump. She spun round, tensing herself as the front door opened.

  It was Ryan, and in that moment her carefully laid plans crumbled around her and she braced herself for the confrontation that she knew would follow.

  “Cassie,” he whispered. “Is everything all right? Where are you going?”

  To her amazement, he didn’t sound angry at all. He stared at her and all she could see in his eyes was worry and concern.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  Cassie glared at Ryan, devastated that she hadn’t been able to make her escape unnoticed. At the same time, she felt bitter satisfaction that she would, at least, be able to tell him what she thought of him and his lying ways.

  “I’m getting the hell out of here,” she whispered.

  Ryan shook his head, stepping toward her.

  “No, Cassie, please. Why are you going?”

  He took her hand, but she couldn’t bear his touch. She snatched her arm away.

  “Why do you think? I’m sick of being strung along and lied to. I’m only sorry that I was stupid enough to believe you for so long.”

  “But…” Ryan looked at her helplessly. “I explained the situation.”

  “You lied to me.”

  Cassie stood behind her suitcase, its bulk shielding her from him. She didn’t want any more of his good looks, his charming ways, or his false promises.

  Ryan sighed deeply.

  “Please trust me.”

  “Why should I?”

  She shivered. It hadn’t taken long for her to cool down in the chilly evening.

  “Oh, Cassie.”

  Ryan stepped around the suitcase and the next moment, he’d wrapped his arms around her. Cassie found herself blinking tears away, because his embrace felt so strong, so familiar. It made her wish that the nightmare of the past two days had never happened, and that everything was the way it had been before.

  She knew she shouldn’t, but it was so easy, so safe, to lean against him and listen as he explained.

  “I’ve been going through hell myself since Trish came back. Don’t think I haven’t been crippled by guilt over how this must look to you. It’s a process and we are getting there. She’s a difficult person and I knew if I didn’t handle this right, it would turn nasty. I’ve been doing my best. Making her feel valued, but at the same time encouraging her to see reason, that we need to move on.”

  “Is that so?” Cassie wasn’t sure whether to believe him.

  “We have had a few chances to talk things through. She spent the afternoon at my office, rearranging things and let
ting me know what she wanted to take with her, because some of the furniture in the waiting area and admin rooms is hers.”

  “Oh, I see,” Cassie said.

  Relief flared inside her even though she did her best to suppress it.

  “The photos, the memories, are all part of the same process. We agreed after we’d had drinks with the Robinsons that this divorce will be amicable. We have to respect what we’ve built and shared. For the kids, we want to do this in the least confrontational way possible.”

  Then Cassie remembered what she’d seen in the filing cabinet, while searching for any evidence of an upcoming divorce.

  “You had a wedding anniversary and vow renewal earlier this year!” she accused him. “That’s not exactly reassuring to me.”

  Ryan stared at her as if she was crazy.

  “Cassie, who told you that?”

  For a moment Cassie didn’t know what to say. Now she would be the one who’d have to lie, because she couldn’t tell Ryan she’d searched through his private files.

  “One of the children mentioned it,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t ask which one or what they had said.

  “That’s so strange. Why would they have said that to you? Look, we did talk about it early in the year. Trish looked at venues and I think we even had invites designed. I guess, during that process, she might have told the children. When it became clear that a vow renewal wasn’t on the cards, for many reasons, we canned it. If I remember, Trish was actually away over our anniversary, and I took the kids to Brighton for the day.”

  “Oh.” Cassie felt overwhelmed by shame that she’d assumed wrong. “Perhaps I misunderstood.”

  “You must have done.”

  Then Cassie remembered what else had happened that morning.

  “And what about Harriet?” She clenched her jaw and stared up at him, daring him to prove her wrong.

  “What about her?”

  “She said you two slept together!”

  Cassie felt herself tensing in his embrace as she waited for his response. But instead of an outraged denial, Ryan started to laugh.