Diary of A. . .

by Sylvia Hubbard

  I followed her, snatching the receiver out of her hand and hanging up the phone. “Lauren doesn’t know half of what I know. If she did, she would be here questioning you, too. Did you know Uncle E was bilking people out of money?”

  “He hit some hard times. He did what he had to do to provide for you all. He did all he could.” She looked hurt.

  I hated seeing her like that. I wish I hadn’t asked her the question, but I wanted to know the truth. On paper my father wasn’t dead, but my mother said differently.

  “Just go!” Nina hissed angrily. She left the kitchen and went into the trophy room in an attempt to get away from me.

  I followed her. “I’m sorry, Momma,” I said solemnly. “But I’ve been doing some looking around and I’m confused about everything you’ve told me. I want to know the truth about my father. I want to know if he’s alive and I don’t want to leave until I know he is.”

  She wiped the tears that had welled up in her eyes. “Why can’t you believe that Lauren’s talking crazy?”

  “Because things just don’t add up on paper. Now answer the question and I’ll leave,” I demanded.

  “You’ll leave this matter alone?” she asked hopefully.

  “I’ll leave it alone, Momma, if you just tell me the truth about my father.

  She took a deep breath and said, “He robbed those people and he gave me some of the money. I didn’t want to accept it, but like I said, I was so poor. We were living off rice up here and I didn’t know what to do. But I used the money for good, even though it was ill-gotten gains. You got a good education, didn’t you?”

  I felt horrible from the inside out. Oh lawd, my father was a dirty rotten thief and I had lived off his dirty money. I felt dirty all over.

  I leaned against the wall near some of my mother’s plaques, feeling queasy. I wanted to throw up knowing who my real father was.

  My mother continued talking. “He killed himself. It wasn’t an accident. He killed himself, because he knew he would forever be on the run. He didn’t want to live his life like that. What was I supposed to say? Your father was a coward?”

  My eyes began to water. I fought the urge to cry at the horrible reality I was being presented.

  “So he’s dead?” I asked.

  “And good riddance to him. I used up all the money paying Lauren’s bills and keeping her quiet.”

  “She knew about the money?” I asked, even though Lauren had already discussed this part with me.

  “She saw some of it when I was sick. I didn’t expect her to find out because of the nature of where the money came from. I felt it should be used to do good. But Lauren has always been so shallow and spoiled and so wanted most of it for herself, though I never felt she deserved any of it. Yet because I didn’t want to explain this to you, didn’t want to see you hurt knowing that your father was like this, I gave Lauren whatever amount she asked me for. But now that all the money is gone and I can’t pay her anymore, she thinks she can just divide us by doing this.” Nina came over to me. “Come on, baby. Let’s have a cup of tea,” she insisted.

  It felt so nice to feel her arms around me. At least she wasn’t angry with me anymore. Since I really didn’t want to cry, I tried to get a minute alone to collect myself. “I’ll be in there in a moment, Momma. Give me a minute.”

  “I’ll stay,” she said adamantly. “Right now, I don’t think either of us needs to be alone.”

  “No, Momma,” I said obdurately. “I really do. Please. Just a second and if I’m not in there by the time the water boils, you can come get me.”

  She looked reluctant to let me go, but didn’t want to press it. When she was gone, I closed my eyes tight and bit my tongue.

  He’s dead. So what. The money’s gone. So what. Just let it go. At least you know the truth and this silly thing my sister has going can just be forgotten.

  I really intended to leave and go on to work. Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened my eyes to the wall I had been leaning against.

  I noticed my mother had put up some new pictures and awards. Most likely she had cleaned up and organized her scrapbook, which was her life long project. She was always adding things that were packed away in the attic. Things she had not touched at all since we’d moved into this house.

  I looked at each picture and award on her wall. Then I noticed something that left me really, really cold - an award from the Sunnybrook, Florida Morgue Department for a successful internship completion.

  My mother had worked in Sunnybrook, Florida at one time. Which meant she most likely still had connections when E. Heasley decided to plan his death.

  Nina had a hand in the lie and that bitch had been two seconds away from getting away with it.

  Hearing her footsteps coming back to the trophy room, I turned away from the wall.

  When she smiled at me as if there was nothing wrong, I knew right then my mother had more up her sleeve. But I didn’t want to see her hurt face anymore, so I told myself not to ask her about it until I had more proof.

  I would prove that my father was alive without her. Once I found proof of this, I was going to make her say sorry until the day she died.

  “You ready for your tea, Sheryl?” Nina asked.

  Forcing a smile on my lips, I said, “Sure Momma. Sure.”

  Entry Twenty-Eight

  When I arrived at work, earlier than expected, I found Cassandra in my office crying. She looked startled to see me and quickly wiped her face.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Don’t be,” I told her. “What’s wrong?”

  She looked reluctant to tell me at first, but then said, “My husband is cheating on me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “No. But I’ve known the whole time we’ve been married that his heart was never really into us. Yet he does love me and I do love him.”

  “Do you know with whom?”

  “Someone I can’t compete with.” Cassandra began to cry again.

  Feeling bad for her, I grabbed the Kleenex and sat beside her. “Do you want to leave him?”

  “I don’t know,” she said forlornly.

  Passing her the box of tissue by the couch, she wiped her face and thanked me.

  “I’ll figure something out,” she promised. “Don’t you worry about me, Ms. Banks.” She stood up, taking a deep breath. “What did Peter want the other day?”

  “To talk,” I lied easily, standing up.

  “I thought he was going to ask you to do another favor. I heard all of his accounts were taken away except for the Mackeroy account.”

  Going to my desk, I saw a note on my computer. It was from Erin. She wanted to see me. Things on my desk were again pushed around.

  WTF?!

  This has got to stop.

  I found the post-it notes and went to her office. Lisa looked really tired. More tired than normal.

  “She’s waiting for you,” Lisa said. “But I don’t think she expected you this early.”

  I walked right in, ready to tell the bitch to stay out my office, but the wind flew out of me because she wasn’t at her desk. Her voice was coming from the private bathroom and the door was partially cracked.

  Instead of doing the polite thing and walking out, I decided to sit on the loveseat in her office and patiently wait.

  “…can’t I see you, Lowe? Just for a few minutes.” She huffed in frustration. “How many times do I have to say sorry? … I still love you. You know this, right? … No! I won’t give you a divorce. I don’t care if you want to see other people.”

  ‘Was this heartbreak day?’ I wondered, but I didn’t make a sound.

  “I could care less if the business is in both our names. You try to get a divorce from me and I’ll make sure you never open the business. Ever!” Her voice became very harsh and vicious. I felt terrible for the guy on the other line. “Lowe, I have no intentions of ever granting you the divorce. So just get used to it.”

  She came out the bathroom hanging
up her cell phone.

  ‘Bitch.’ I wanted to say. I’d divorce her ass, too.

  “What the fuck are you doing in my office?”

  I had every right to curse this bitch back, but I didn’t. She was upset. Her old man wasn’t dicking her anymore and she had a right to miss the dick. She was still married to it. LOL.

  Standing up, I pulled out the post-it notes. “Next time, I’ll just leave them with Lisa.”

  “No!” She walked up to me and took them out my hands. Instead of putting them on her desk, she stuck them in her jacket pocket.

  I thought to myself, ‘Business my ass. That move looked personal.’

  “Could you stop roaming around my desk, please?” I said.

  Erin smirked evilly. “There you go with that my stuff. Last time I checked this was Earl’s company.”

  With no smart ass comeback, I just decided to make an empty threat. “Then maybe I should let Earl know you keep snooping around my office. If there’s something you want, just ask my assistant or myself. I’m not hiding anything.” Not wanting to be in her company any longer than necessary, I started to leave out until she called my name.

  “That isn’t the only reason I wanted to speak to you. Have a seat, Sheryl.” She moved behind her desk.

  “Never mind, I’ll stand.”

  “I insist.” There was this cold look in her eyes as if she wanted to jump over the desk and yank my hair out.

  Reluctantly, I took the seat in front of her desk. Inside I was screaming, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!

  “How did your New York trip go?”

  “It went fine actually. The PowerPoint presentation for the first client went wonderfully and Colonel Debner’s given me leeway to make it up-”

  She cut me off, “We didn’t do anything to be sorry for.”

  “In my opinion that doesn’t matter. We still have to make the customer happy.”

  Erin shrugged. “You’re the customer service manager. I listened to your meeting with your managers. And I should let you know that you shouldn’t discuss gossip at business meetings.”

  Was she smoking crack?

  “I didn’t discuss personal items at the meeting,” I refuted.

  “Didn’t Ms. Newsome say something to the point of you being in charge?”

  “She made an observation that it would seem that way, but in no way am I trying to usurp your authority, Mrs. Nabors.”

  She leaned over her desk. “Well, then Ms. Newsome will be the only one fired.”

  “What?!” I stood up, angry as hell. “You can’t do that. She’s a part of my team.” And a damn good PowerPoint layout person!

  “Last time I checked, I was your boss. And since I’m over you, I’m over this whole damn office. So I can make decisions of firing people.”

  Forgetting my manners and my mother teaching me about respecting my elders, I said, “Listen, Erin, I don’t know what’s got your damn panties in a bunch, but you can’t fire someone for speaking their thoughts.”

  “I can fire someone if she’s been consistently late.” Erin pulled out an employee file on Ms. Newsome.

  I knew Ms. Newsome had been late a lot, especially during the school year when she had to get her kids back and forth to school. But she did a damn good job.

  “If you weren’t so concerned about clients and more about what your team is doing, then you’d know she’s consistently late.” Erin opened the employee file and lifted up about fifty late slips and a computer printout detailing when Ms. Newsome started working on her PC each day.

  “That’s no good reason to fire her.”

  “I wasn’t going to fire her. You were.” She handed me Ms. Newsome’s pink slip.

  I knew I couldn’t fight this one. Ms. Newsome would have to fight it on her own. I felt like shit. Damn Bitch!

  Taking the slip, I started to walk out the office again until Erin called my name once more in a sing-song voice.

  “And don’t think I don’t know you’re sleeping with clients. But I guess a girl’s gotta do something to get to the top.”

  “What are you talking about?” I sneered.

  “Aren’t you seeing Mackeroy Jackson?”

  “I see Mackeroy Jackson on my personal time, which is none of your business.”

  “Keep this up and I’ll see why Earl favors you. He does like them young.”

  Gritting my teeth, I slammed out the office! Fucking bitch!

  Entry Twenty-Nine

  My day was pretty much ruined after I left Ms. Newsome’s office. The distraught look on her face as I passed her the pink slip was devastating. It took everything I had not to sympathize with her. I’ve fired people before, but for good reason. This time I felt horrible and I really couldn’t function correctly at work because of it.

  At times like this, I feel unsure of my job and wonder if I am really qualified to do this. Not because of the job itself, but because of the stress the job entails. Hell, I feel qualified to run the damn country, but there aren’t enough qualifications in the world to prepare you for the stress that comes with a job like that.

  Can you feel me?

  I spent the rest of the morning concentrating on making sure no one else from my team was fired. Cassandra let me know Lisa had forwarded three pink slips to other office clerks. Erin had also fired two more managers and a sales rep – not Peter.

  Every fiber of my being wanted to pick up the phone, dial Earl and ask him why the fuck did he have this crazy bitch in charge.

  I had made plans to have lunch with Mackeroy, but I was so consumed with getting my work done that I forgot.

  At noon, Mack strode in my office carrying a dozen pink roses. I felt even crappier and I looked pitiful.

  “Please don’t tell me no,” he said before I even said a word.

  Obviously the look on my face said it all, but he looked as if he didn’t want to hear that.

  “You need to eat,” he said.

  I still had not said anything. Instead I looked at Cassandra, who had been all too happy to help me pull out every open service request, find out why they were open, and start closing procedures. The majority of the reports were open because the managers just never went back to close them, even though they were already completed. This was an effort to make sure no one else from my team was fired for incompetent work habits, whom I just had a feeling were next on Erin’s firing list.

  I think the more people she could fire, the better she would feel. How the hell did that woman sleep being so damn evil?

  We were almost done, but I really didn’t want to stop.

  “I know I should, but this is much too important,” I told Mack.

  “How important?” he asked skeptically, as if I wanted to avoid going with him.

  “I need to make sure all of my managers have been doing their jobs before they get pink slipped, Mackeroy.”

  “But you’re doing yours, so why should you care?” he asked.

  That was evil to say. I was shocked that it had even come out his damn mouth.I guess the look on my face said that, too, because he immediately apologized.

  “I’m sorry, baby,” Mack said and put out his hand for me to stand.

  I had been sitting beside Cassandra on the couch. She also stood with me and took the flowers from Mackeroy before leaving to give us a moment of privacy.

  “I just don’t want work to mess up this good thing we have.”

  Cupping his clean shaven cheek, I said, “I know, but this is so important to me. I promise when I take you up on that rain check, which will be soon; I will make sure you never want for another thing from me. Things are just a little tight here and I want to make sure I keep the best team possible. Can you understand that?”

  He had no choice. He nodded and kissed my cheek. “All right.”

  I was glad he hadn’t kissed my lips. It was a shallow thing, but I hate for my lips to be messed up while I’m at work. Even when I eat lunch, I wear lipstick that won’t come off. Plus, kissing made my lips all
puffy and I didn’t want my employees to know about my personal life.

  It was none of their business who the hell I was kissing, though I’m sure all of them saw Mackeroy enter my office and Cassandra leave out.

  “Thanks for understanding, honey,” I said, still a little turned off by his evil remark.

  Maybe because I had too much evil coming at me in one day that I took that snide comment to heart. Or maybe Mackeroy could give a rat’s ass about anyone else, except whom he chose to care about.

  I wasn’t asking him to put the world’s problems on his shoulder, but damn! That was cold as hell.

  When he was gone, Cassandra returned and helped me get to work. Her silence perturbed me.

  “When we’re done,” she asked, after another hour of going through everything. “Do you think you could take a meeting with a friend?”

  I frowned. “Who?”

  “My old employer. He was helping me look up all your stuff and called me this morning and said he wanted to meet you.”

  I thought that was strange of her to ask. “Did he say why?”

  “He never says what his intentions are and to ask would be… you just don’t ask him questions.” Cassandra looked very nervous.

  I shrugged nonchalantly. “Okay.”

  She excused herself for a moment to make the appointment.

  Another hour passed. Just as I was handing her the last folder to take back to the file room, Mr. Lethal Heart entered the room.

  Now I didn’t know his name when he stepped into my office. All I can say is that a big ass motherfucker filled my doorway. He was the first black man I’d ever seen wear a black Stetson hat, with middle of the back length dreads, a massive chest and colossal thighs. He looked like a tree, which could explain why there was a tattoo on his arm that read “TRUNK,” over a Navy Seal insignia. The man looked like he could give John Henry a run for his money.

  Lethal wore all black. From the hat, to the t-shirt, tight black jeans and Timberland boots that had to be specially designed to fit on his large feet. Even his belt was black with a black gold heart on the buckle.