Hawk in the Rowan

by Sam Burns

  The nurse wheeled him into the waiting room, over to where Wade sat with Frank and Sean Anderson. Jesse was there too, and though he looked about ready to drop from exhaustion, he was holding Sean tight against him.

  Frank Anderson was a giant of a man, but he looked tiny and old, curled in on himself in a waiting-room chair he barely fit into. His eyes were red, and Devon felt like the worst person in the world for joking around with the clinic staff a few minutes before. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to say something useless about how sorry he was. That didn’t do the bereaved family any good.

  Sean was the first to speak. “Are you okay?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Devon said dismissively. “It’s not even broken. Are you?”

  Sean seemed to think about that for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t know. I don’t really . . . This can’t be real, right? I mean, she’s just gonna come out of the woods when the snow stops, and—” He broke off and turned to bury his face in Jesse’s shoulder.

  Dammit. Devon was not helping. He was supposed to be good at this. This was his job. He knew Frank Anderson well enough to know the man didn’t want a hug, or to be touched at all. He wished there were a magic word to make it all disappear.

  “Wade says it was a troll,” Frank said, and looked up at Devon. “It killed her? You’re sure?”

  Devon nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry, but I’m sure. She got the kids to a safe place, but she didn’t get there.”

  “That’s my Leah,” Frank agreed. “Always the kids first. She’d be proud. She saved them. She’s a hero.”

  “She did, and she is,” Devon agreed.

  Both Andersons drew up slightly, slumped shoulders straightening. Sometimes, it was good to be the guy who couldn’t lie. No one in town would doubt that Leah Anderson had died a hero, protecting the kids she’d loved.

  “I don’t know how she did it. I almost froze up, but she took care of the kids first. Do you want to tell me about her?”

  The elder Anderson looked up at him, as though gaging the veracity of his interest. Fortunately, Devon did want to know. He was about ready to fall asleep, but his town, its people, Leah Anderson, were more important than that. “I’d like that, Councilman Murphy. But I think maybe you should get some sleep now. You saved those kids too, and you had a long night. You could come to the house when the snow clears.”

  As much as he wanted to, Devon wasn’t in a position to argue that. “If that’s what you prefer. Do you have someone to stay with you?”

  Anderson looked at his son and Jesse and frowned. He opened his mouth and closed it again.

  Jesse looked up at him. “We’ll come stay over. Or Sean will, I mean.”

  Frank shook his head. “He needs you now, not me.” When Jesse looked like he was going to argue, the man held up a hand. “I’m not sure how it works, but Leah always said if the boys had her powers, they’d show up at a time like this.”

  Jesse’s eyes went round. “Like this?”

  “Major emotional upheaval. It’s like a second puberty, only as an adult. Hers manifested the year after we got married. She had a miscarriage, and there it was.” The staid, nearly seven-foot-tall man blushed all the way to the tips of his ears. “You, ah, don’t want to be staying with your old dad when that happens.”

  “What about Sebastian?” Sean asked, pulling away from Jesse. “We can’t tell him over the phone, and he’s all the way across the country.”

  Frank looked exhausted and older than his not-inconsiderable years. “There’s no other way. If I could catch a plane this morning, maybe, but I can’t. We can’t put off telling him until the snow clears.”

  Devon wanted to offer to make the call, but he hadn’t even met Sebastian Anderson. Him making that call would not help. He hated to imagine being across the country from his family and getting a call like that.

  “Would you like me to make the call, Frank?” Wade asked. “I don’t know if it would be better coming from me than anyone else, but I know Sebastian. I can do it.”

  Anderson looked sorely tempted. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and gave a sigh. “No. This is having kids. This is the kind of thing I agreed to do when Leah and I decided to have them. Can I”—he broke off and took a few deep breaths—“would you stay while I call?”

  Wade and Devon both nodded, and Wade unconsciously reached out and grabbed Devon’s hand. Anderson’s gaze was drawn by the gesture, and Devon almost pulled away but stopped himself. He was done pulling away from Wade. If he had learned anything from the previous day’s events, it was that he was as “all in” as Wade, and he needed to show it. Mr. Anderson didn’t seem bothered anyway. The man gave them a tiny smile and nodded to Devon as he pulled out his phone.

  He stopped before dialing and looked at Jesse. “Maybe you should take Sean home.”

  Sean frowned. “Dad, you—”

  “Are a grown man who can take care of himself, same as you. But you’re about to fall over where you sit, and there’s no reason for you to be here. You need Jesse and sleep. We’ll take care of the rest when the storm stops.” To Jesse, Frank said, “You’re taking him to your place, right? Not all the way out to the middle of nowhere?”

  Jesse nodded. “Yessir. We’d been planning to stay at my place, since it’s easier to get to and likely to be plowed sooner.”

  The old man nodded. “I’ll call Monday, if not before.”

  Sean didn’t seem inclined to argue any more, just looked defeated and listless. So Jesse nodded to Wade, squeezed Devon’s shoulder and whispered, “Good to see you, man,” and led Sean out the door. Devon appreciated his friend’s way of saying he was glad Devon was alive without reminding the Andersons of what they had lost.

  Frank smiled after them. “He’s a good boy. I’m glad Sean has him.”

  “He’s okay,” Wade agreed, but the expression on his own face was almost like a doting parent, which was weird since he was Jesse’s younger brother.

  Frank stared at his phone for a long time before even flipping the screen on. He gave a tiny, bitter smile when he finally did. “Don’t think I’ve ever wished the network’d be down before.”

  The phone call was one of the most emotionally horrible experiences of Devon’s life. He couldn’t bring himself to try to imagine it from either Anderson’s point of view. It was bad enough from the outside. Frank cried, not hesitating to take Wade’s proffered handkerchief, and Devon sat there, feeling useless.

  After it was over, they all sat together in silence until Devon realized that Eric Lane had come out to stand next to him. He looked up at the nurse, and for some reason, it was funny that Lane, the shortest man present by a good few inches, towered over them. It seemed like a good analogy for his towering strength.

  “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting,” Lane said, though no one had spoken in minutes and he obviously wasn’t. “But it occurred to me that Frank’s house is on the outskirts of town, and no matter how hard Nate and his employees try to keep the streets plowed, it’s probably not in a spot they’re getting to very often.”

  That was an exaggeration, but Devon wasn’t going to question it. He’d long ago learned that the best way for him to deal with well-intentioned white lies was to pretend they hadn’t happened.

  Wade squeezed his hand and leaned forward. Prince that he was, he gave Nurse Lane the prompt he wanted. “Did you have an idea?”

  “Well, my house is less than a mile from Main Street. Just a couple of blocks away from Jesse and Sean, and sure to be plowed regularly. Plus, Fletcher’s got his own place now, so I’ve got an empty bedroom.” He stopped and cleared his throat, inclining his head to Frank. “I thought it might help for you to stay with me, if you wanted to be a little closer to town.”

  Devon could have kissed the man, the gesture was so kind and thoughtful. People underestimated Eric Lane because he was small, human, and covered with painful looking burn scars. They missed the obvious and simple fact that to have survived what he had survived,
a man had to be almost incomprehensibly strong.

  “I’d appreciate that, if you wouldn’t mind the company,” Frank answered after a long pause. “Thank you, Eric.”

  “Always happy to be here for my neighbors,” Lane said with a smile. “And I just finished my shift, so we could head over together.”

  Anderson nodded and stood, but hesitated. “Do you—do you think Doc Jha might give me something, for, uh, sleeping?”

  “I’m sure she would,” Nurse Lane agreed, and his shoulders relaxed a little, apparently relieved by the request. “It’s not a bad idea. Assisted sleep is better than none at all.”

  He motioned for Anderson to precede him, and looked down at Devon and Wade. “Do you two need any help out to a car?” They were being ever so subtly dismissed, and Devon had rarely been so grateful for a thing in his whole life.

  “We’ll make it okay,” Wade told him. “I’ll just get Devon out to the car and then bring the chair back.”

  “And don’t forget the crutches we pulled out for him,” the nurse said, waving at a set of old-fashioned wooden crutches leaning against the wall. Devon hadn’t even noticed them before. He had assumed they would have to figure out their own crutches; he hadn’t expected the clinic to provide them.

  Wade stood and reached for one of the grips on the wheelchair, but paused and looked down. “Are you okay with me steering?”

  “I don’t know how to do it.” He reached back and grabbed Wade’s hand. “Thank you.”

  “For what? If it’s for not yelling at you for disappearing, you might want to hold off, since that’s probably coming at some point.” Despite the words, Wade’s tone was soft, and he twined their fingers together.

  Devon leaned his cheek against their linked hands. “I’m okay with you yelling at me for being stupid, but can we do it after I sleep for a few weeks?”

  “Yeah, we can do that.” Wade leaned down and kissed his forehead, then stepped behind the chair and pushed it toward the door. After tucking Devon into the squad car and going back to return the chair and retrieve the crutches, Wade proceeded to drive five miles per hour all the way home.

  The shop was dark and abandoned, which was for the best since the snow was piling up.

  Wade let out a deep sigh and scrubbed a hand down his face. “The snow’s gotten a lot worse since we dragged you guys out of the woods. I don’t know what we would have done if it had gotten this bad last night.”

  “It wasn’t this bad last night. That’s all that matters.” Devon didn’t much care to think about what might’ve happened, since he suspected he knew the answer.

  “True. You’re safe, and that’s the important part,” Wade agreed, unbuckling and climbing out to dig a path to the door of the shop.

  As Devon watched him, he thought back to the time he’d spent staring at the sky last night, willing the snow to hold off. He was still getting used to not being human and wasn’t sure he was ready to face the extent of what he could do. Gods, what if he’d done it wrong and made things worse instead of better?

  He leaned toward the car window, looking up at the dark and snow-filled clouds.

  “Thank you,” he whispered. He felt a little silly talking to a storm, but it also seemed appropriate. The elements had given him a gift, and good manners dictated that he thank them.

  A bright flash of lightning streaked down into the ocean just off the coast, followed a few seconds later by an immense rumble of thunder. He decided to interpret that as “you’re welcome,” and not something more sinister or threatening. It wasn’t as though a storm had a lot of options for communication.

  And now he thought a storm was talking to him.

  Well, why not?

  Wade got back from his expedition to the door and opened the passenger side of the car. “Is it going to damage your pride if I carry you and bring up the crutches later?”

  “I’ll survive,” Devon answered as he unbuckled his seatbelt and held his arms out to Wade.

  As it turned out, being carried up the stairs hardly stung his pride at all. He got to wrap his arms around Wade and bury his face in his neck, and that was kind of okay.

  7

  Valentine’s, Take Two

  Devon slept for almost a day.

  When he woke, it was six in the morning, and it felt exactly like the day after Valentine’s. Ominous clouds still covered the sky outside, though this time they were pouring snow. Wade was lying next to him, propped up on one elbow and looking down at him while he slept. He smiled when Devon raised an eyebrow at him. “You weren’t drooling, promise.”

  “Good to hear.” Devon wiped his face anyway. Wade wasn’t in the habit of lying, but if he were going to tell a lie, Devon was pretty sure it would be a lie to spare his feelings. “I don’t feel sick anymore, either. Any particular reason we’re playing watch-Devon-sleep this morning?”

  “Because I love you, and for a while on Thursday, I thought I was never going to see you again.” Wade reached out with his free hand and brushed his fingers across Devon’s cheek. “It was one of the worst days of my life, Devon.”

  “But I knew I was going to be fine. I said I was before I—” He broke off and stared into space. “Salli went home, and Jesse went looking for your grandmother. You didn’t know I was going to be fine, because I disappeared like a jerk, and no one was there to tell you.”

  Wade didn’t say a word, only leaned in and brushed his lips across Devon’s.

  “I might be the worst boyfriend ever.” Devon rubbed his face with both hands and then let his head fall back onto the pillow. “Did Jesse tell you when he got back, at least?”

  Wade shook his head. “Jesse told me when we were helping the searchers get home in the morning. He got back after Takao and I went into the woods to find you.”

  “That’s right. He wasn’t there. It was just you, Fletcher, Deputy Akiyama, and the mayor.” Devon tried to remember the scene from his dream. “You were arguing. Fletcher looked worried.”

  With a grin, Wade pressed their foreheads together. “I knew it was you. The mayor thought I was losing it, but I knew. I would have expected a tiny little blackbird, but you were a hawk. You are a hawk, aren’t you? Gorgeous, a big show-off, and more dangerous than anyone gives you credit for.”

  “I’m not dan—” Devon’s mind wouldn’t let him finish the sentence. He sighed. “I swear, I’m learning more about myself this week than I have since I was a teenager.”

  Wade gave him another soft kiss. “It’s okay that you’re dangerous, Devon. You’re not vindictive or petty or cruel. You’re only dangerous to things that endanger what you love. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “I’m also selfish,” Devon said, and of course his annoying fae powers let him say that. “I’ve spent three months looking at my life in Rowan Harbor as a duty. A burden.”

  “And I was part of the burden,” Wade finished sadly. “I’m sorry if I’ve been—”

  “No. You haven’t. I have. It’s true that this is a lot for me. I’m used to walking away from everything two or three times a year and not caring if bridges burn behind me.” It was his turn to lean in, tentatively, and kiss Wade. Wade kissed back, so that was a good start. “Some of the things I have to take on in Rowan Harbor are hard for me. I wouldn’t have chosen to own a yarn shop or be on the council.”

  Wade looked like he was steeling himself for bad news. That couldn’t stand.

  “But I chose you. I know, fate or mates or whatever, but you didn’t push me on that. You never told me we were going to get married. You just put yourself in my path and didn’t leave. You let me choose you. You knew that was important to me.”

  Face almost glowing with pleasure, Wade wrapped his arms around Devon and slid down into the bed next to him. “I didn’t want to make you feel trapped. I want you to want to stay.”

  “I do want to stay. I love Rowan Harbor, and Madame Cormier was right; I belong here. I’m still overwhelmed by everything. But I realized when I w
as stuck out there that you’re not one of the duties. You’re the partner who helps me deal with them.”

  “That’s what I want to be,” Wade agreed.

  “You are. And I love you.”

  “And I love you.”

  Devon grinned. “That’s so much less terrifying than I always thought it would be. It’s actually kind of awesome.”

  “Does that mean we could have a conversation about the future that doesn’t result in you getting hives and hiding in the closet?”

  Without thinking about the whole statement, Devon reached out and flicked Wade on top of the head. “I have never in my life hidden in the closet. And I’ve only had hives once, and it had nothing to do with . . .” He realized he’d missed the point, and hesitated. “Right. Um, I don’t want a house.”

  “Good, me either.”

  Devon frowned at Wade. “Then why do you want to talk about the future?”

  Eyebrows drawing together, Wade looked at Devon for a long time before answering. “Was that why you didn’t want to talk? You thought I wanted you to move? I love your apartment. I kind of wanted—” He cut off and blushed, staring at Devon’s chest instead of looking him in the eye. “I kind of wanted to move in here.”

  “To just be here all the time?”

  “I’m already here most of the time anyway. You’ve got lots of room in the closet. You wouldn’t even have to move anything for me,” Wade said, his words so quick they almost slurred together in his haste to get them all out. “I’d just come here every night instead of most of them.”

  “Okay,” Devon agreed.

  Wade seemed to be building up steam for another argument, but at Devon’s unquestioning acceptance, he let out his breath in a whoosh. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Devon?” Wade leaned in and nuzzled his neck, giving that spot where it met his shoulder a nibble.

  “Mmm?”

  “Are you too tired for sex?”

  “Is that a joke?” Devon ran one hand down Wade’s side and around his back to grab his ass. “That’s the only way I can imagine that question making sense.”