Left Hanging

by Cindy Dorminy

  “See you tomorrow?” I ask. Please say yes.

  She nods. I take both of her wrists in my hands and slide my fingers around until I find her radial pulse. She’s right. I do make her heart race. I lean down and kiss her on the cheek, and the years we’ve spent apart vanish. Her breath hitches. I want to make her do that and more all day long, but not so soon…

  In her ear, I whisper, “I have a secret too.”

  She blinks. “Huh?”

  This is going better than I expected. She slides her hands up my chest. Now, I’m having trouble focusing, and my heart rate is way beyond my maximum target range.

  I smirk. “I kind of left my diabetes bag on purpose.”

  She snarls at me. “You are evil.”

  “It worked, didn’t it?”

  She throws her head back and cracks up. She pats my chest and wipes her face with her hands. “I’ve got to get back to work. See you soon.” She moves to leave and runs smack-dab into the wall. “Ouch.”

  “I’ve been meaning to get that wall removed.”

  Her face is suffused with a pretty shade of pink, and she mumbles something under her breath.

  “See ya.”

  She picks up her purse and leaves. I watch her from the front door as she gets into her old Ford Escape. She waves as she backs out into the parking lot. I wave back.

  After she drives away, I take out the Hangman puzzle I printed out from my front pocket. It’s like a drug calling my name. There’s no harm in finishing the puzzle. If she’s the one sending me the messages, we’ll get a big kick out of it.

  However, if she’s not the one and someone else is trying to facilitate me in figuring out her secret before she’s ready to tell me, I risk hurting her. I should throw the puzzle away and enjoy the grand prize. I fold the paper and stuff it back in my pocket. I can’t let a game go unfinished.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Theo

  “Seth, your hemoglobin A1C level is great. Your glucose control is so good for a teenager.”

  I glance up from his chart to see him strutting around the exam room. If I didn’t know better, I would think I was seeing a younger version of myself. Seeing how proud he is makes me happy. I know it’s not easy to keep diabetes in such a tight check at that age. As long as I had a normal routine, I was good. But nothing is normal about those teen years.

  “Now if I could only get a girl to check me out, my life would be perfect.”

  “Seriously? You don’t have the girls fighting over you?”

  Seth slides back onto the exam table and stares at his swinging legs. “Nope. They all think I’m dying.”

  I sigh and run my hand through my hair. Boy, do I know what that feels like. I roll my stool over to him. “Seth, if there’s anyone that knows what you’re going through, it’s me.”

  He raises his head. I can see the sadness in his big eyes. He’s sixteen. All the other guys his age have girlfriends and are out partying. Seth feels as though he’s missing out.

  “They can make you feel like damaged goods.”

  He bobs his head. “Exactly. Pisses me off. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  I grin at him. “No, it pisses you off, and it pisses me off too. I had a girlfriend who wanted me to wear my shirt untucked all the time to hide my pump.”

  “Dude, that’s so wrong.”

  Mallory made me promise not to mention my disease the first time I met her parents. They didn’t want her to date a guy who was sick, and she didn’t want to upset dear ole dad. “But trust me, you’ll find someone that sees you for who you are and not just one part of you.”

  “Hope so. I guess you don’t have that problem anymore, do you?”

  I wish I could lie to him. It would be easier. But I would hate myself if I did. “It’s complicated.”

  He lies back on the exam table, making the paper barrier crinkle. He covers his eyes with his arm. “Why do adults always say ‘it’s complicated’ when they don’t want to tell the truth?”

  I groan. “Truth is, I recently got out of a relationship because she’s not the right one for me. The one I want is terrified of me. Not my diabetes, but me. She’s my complication.”

  Seth chuckles. “You seem pretty harmless to me.”

  “I know, right?”

  My cell phone buzzes with a message.

  Good job. You get two letters.

  Maybe it’s Shelby. She seems like the pushy “go get it” type. I need to interrogate her next time I see her.

  “Hey, Seth, you want to help me out with something?”

  He sits up. “Huh?”

  “The complication has a secret, and someone—not sure who yet—is sending me clues to help me figure out what it is. You want to help me select some letters to the puzzle?”

  Seth grins. “Dude, this is so cool.” He peers over my shoulder at the puzzle. “Hmm, how about O and E?”

  I rub my hands together before I type O and E and hit send. “Thanks, man. You have a good summer. See you in six months.”

  Seth leaves the exam room, and my phone buzzes again. I really should ignore it, but I love a puzzle. I check my phone, and the text message has the Hangman puzzle with some pieces filled in.

  – O – – A – E A – O – – – – E –

  Good job!

  I knew you would think this is fun.

  But wouldn’t you like your lunch in the sun?

  I know what would put you in a good mood.

  A noontime visit with you, Darla, and food.

  Okay… whoever is doing this sucks at rhyming. But it is a nice day for a picnic, and I’m free until my afternoon clinic. I have to eat anyway, and I could certainly use some pretty company to go along with it. I click open my email and send her an instant message.

  Hey, Juliet, did you bring your lunch today?

  I finish Seth’s history and physical report. When my computer beeps that I have a new message, I grin.

  Darla: Yep

  Me: Me too. How about I meet you somewhere?

  Darla: Maybe another day.

  Me: Chicken

  Darla: Ha! I thought I was a chicken hawk.

  Me: Oh yeah. My bad. I have some free time around 11:30. See you at the big magnolia by the library.

  Darla: I didn’t say I was coming.

  Me: I know. See you there.

  Darla: You are exhausting.

  Me: ;)

  When I head toward the magnolia tree, Darla is already there. She’s doing some kind of yoga stretch. They are all the same to me. Her shoes are off, and her feet grip her yoga mat, showing off her pink toenails. My mouth goes dry as I watch her. She catches me gawking and grins. The summer heat couldn’t melt me more than that face.

  “You’re late.”

  I cock my head. “I figured you’d chicken out.”

  “Me, chicken? Nope. I’m hungry.”

  I chuckle and sit next to her on her mat. I drop my diabetes kit and lunch next to me on the grass. I slip off my shoes and peel out of my socks. My toes enjoy the freedom even though they aren’t anywhere near as cute as Darla’s.

  Her eyes dance. “Did you clear this lunch date with your betrothed?”

  “She’s not my betrothed. So, this is a date?”

  She growls at me. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “It’s what you said.” I retrieve my sandwich and take a bite out of it.

  She rolls her eyes. “It’s lunch. Where’s Mallory?”

  Ah, the green-eyed monster makes an appearance. I wipe her cheek with my napkin. “Something’s on your face. It’s green… oh, could it be… jealousy?”

  She smacks my hand away. “Answer the question, Romeo.”

  I groan. “How ma
ny times do I have to tell you? It’s over between us.”

  She focuses on her yoga mat.

  “I don’t want to be with her, but I also don’t want to hurt her.”

  “You’re a good guy. It’s your kryptonite.”

  “She’s been fun… a lot of fun, but—”

  Darla covers her ears. “Too much information. Sorry I brought it up.”

  I sneak a peek at her. “I just realized I know nothing about you.”

  She stretches her feet out in front of her, and I admire those cute pink toenails again. She bends down until her chest rests completely on the front of her thighs. If I did that, I would never be able to stand up again.

  “There’s not much to tell.”

  “Parents?”

  Her shoulders slump. “Mom died when I was little. Dad never got over losing her. He passed away a few years ago.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say.

  She opens a yogurt cup and fishes out a spoon. “Not your fault. He was not the nicest of fathers.”

  From my lunch bag, I remove a container of baby carrots.

  “Did you check your sugar?”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  “Sorry. I guess moms are never off the clock.”

  I stretch out on my back, staring up at her. It feels so good to relax and feel the warm breeze blowing across my face. Only peace and quiet and… Darla. “So, tell me about your daughter.”

  She snatches a few blades of grass out of the ground and twirls them around between her fingers. “Well, she’s uh—”

  My phone buzzes, and I hold up a finger. “Wait a sec.” I fire off a text message to the clinic nurse. “Sorry. Where were we?”

  “I was about to ask you about your family.”

  Now, that’s a topic I never get tired of talking about. “Let’s see. My mom is the coolest person on the planet. You’d like her. She’s a hippy-chick, lawyer hybrid.”

  Darla snickers. “That’s going from one extreme to the other.”

  I nod. “I know, and she’s everything in between too. My dad is a minister. I think I already mentioned that.”

  Scraping the last bit of yogurt out of the cup, she nods. She takes out a bag of grapes and pops one into her mouth before offering me some. I take one and chomp on it.

  “And there’s us kids. I have one older sister, one younger brother, and a baby sister.”

  “That’s a houseful. I bet your parents did a lot of praying.”

  “Whenever we had a fight, my dad would make us stand hand in hand and pray for each other out loud.”

  She laughs.

  I shudder at the memory. “It was worse than any beating we could ever get.” Heather’s prayers were always the most creative. Oh, Lord, please give Theo the wisdom to understand that he can never outdo me in an argument. Tommy always tried his best to crunch my fingers together. I don’t remember ever having a fight with Jennifer.

  “Do you get to see them much?”

  “Some. Tommy is at Sallister University in Boston, and Heather’s at the University of Tennessee. They’re both in graduate school. But my big sister lives here, and Mom and Dad still live here too.”

  She stops mid-bite on a grape. “Here?” She spits out the grape and wipes her mouth.

  “Yeah. Dad’s church is down the road. I guess I figured you knew that already.”

  “I cannot believe you grew up here!” she squeals, punctuating each syllable by bombing me with grapes.

  I catch a few, which makes her even more annoyed. “What’s the problem with that?”

  “Ugh. So did I!” she replies.

  “No way,” I say, using my best girly voice.

  I throw grapes back at her, and she giggles as she tries to dodge them.

  “What high school? Please don’t say Hillsboro. If you say Hillsboro, I will scream.”

  I shake my head. “Montgomery Bell Academy.”

  “Oh. You went to a private all boys’ school. It suits you.”

  I wear my snootiest smirk and scrunch up my nose. “I see you are a commoner and went to public schools. I must not associate with such low class.”

  “Shut up.” She pushes me over and pummels me with sissy punches.

  I roll over on my back, laughing like a hyena. “Okay, if you stop, I’ll let you wipe the mud from my shoes.”

  She climbs on top of me and finds my tickle spot. She remembers that sensitive area under my floating rib. This is going better than I imagined.

  “Stop. Oh. Not there. Stop,” I beg through my laughter. But inside, I’m thinking, “Don’t stop. Oh, there. Yeah, do it again.”

  Suddenly, she stops. I think she finally registers the position she’s in. She’s been in this position before, and it was fantastic. I slide my hands to her waist. When I try to bring her down for a kiss, her phone rings. She snaps out of her daze and drags herself off me.

  “Saved by the cell,” she says.

  She crawls over to her purse and finds her phone. I grab her foot to snatch her back. She tries to wrestle free, but I grab the other foot and tickle it. She giggles as she answers the phone, and I lose my grip on her foot.

  I sit up on an elbow to watch her.

  “Hey, baby. Are you having fun?” The smile on her face reaches her eyes, and she radiates. “That sounds like fun. You did? Will you get Aunt Diane to send me a picture? I miss you so much. Okay. Can I talk to Aunt Di? I love you. Call me tonight.”

  She holds up a finger to indicate it will be a minute. I try to grab her foot again, but she tucks both of them under her body. She wags her index finger at me while she talks on the phone. I love how her voice became all singsongy when she talked to her daughter. Cute.

  She hangs up the phone. “She’s spending part of the summer with my sister in California. They’re at Disneyland. Di loves her, but when she gets home, I’ll have to deprogram the little critter.” She puts her phone away and sits back down.

  I cock my head to the side. “Would a child that young enjoy a theme park?”

  Darla laughs. “You’re never too young for Mickey.”

  I look at Darla and can’t stop staring at her.

  “What?” she asks. “Do I have something on my face?” She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

  “You’re a good mom.”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know about that. I do know that it’s the only thing that makes me happy.”

  Her face lights up when she talks about her baby. Boy, do I wish I were in her shoes. It would make me as happy as she seems to have a mini-me to love and dote on. I want that so badly. I think I would be a good dad. At least I would love the opportunity, but it’s not in the cards for me. “You’re blessed.”

  “I know I am. I didn’t do the ‘marry first, have a baby second,’ but it worked out all right.”

  “Enjoy her.”

  “I do.”

  “Lots of people can’t have kids.”

  “I know.”

  “People like me.”

  Her eyes get misty. I’m not sure she gets it. I’m saying that it’s a good time for her to cut and run before she gets involved with me. It’s better for her to know early on so no one gets hurt. I would never want to lead her on, so it’s best she knows these things before she invests too much time and effort in me. If she wants more kids, it’s not going to happen with me.

  “Why?”

  “Diabetes. It makes it really hard for dudes to father children.”

  Her hands tremble. Shit. I’ve scared her. She would like more kids, and she knows it’s out of the question with me. I knew she was too good to be true.

  “Damn. I shouldn’t have said that. Few women want to be with someone when they know the chance of kids is extremely rar
e.”

  “You don’t know that for sure.” Her voice is hardly above a whisper.

  I slide on my socks and shoes. She does the same. We were having fun. She was letting go of her reservations, and I messed it up. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  “It’s enough to scare people away,” I say.

  She hugs her knees to her chest. “It didn’t scare off Mallory.”

  I soak in the warm summer sun while I scan her profile. “It’s because she didn’t really want children.” I focus on the grass. “But I do.”

  She buries her face in her hands and groans. She mumbles something, but all I can make out is “do it” and “idiot.” I pick up my lunch bag and my diabetes kit and stand. The deafening sound of a robin singing comes from the magnolia tree. Darla looks away, and I wave my hand in front of her face. She rolls up her mat and tries to take my hand, but I keep moving it to mess with her. She finally grabs on to it, allowing me to hoist her to her feet.

  “Are you scared?” I ask.

  She takes a deep breath. “I’m not scared.”

  “By the way, you never told me what your daughter’s name is.”

  “It’s uh…” She looks down at her watch. “I have to get back to work.” She points in the direction of the fitness center building.

  First, she doesn’t tell me her name for seven years. Now, she’s going to withhold her daughter’s name. She is one strange but wonderful person. I kiss her hand. She leans down and picks up some grapes on the ground.

  “See you soon?” I ask, hoping for the truth.

  “Sure,” she says casually before strolling away.

  As I turn to leave, I feel something hit my back. A grape rolls by on the path.

  “No fair,” I yell at her.

  “Oh, like you always play by the rules. I seem to remember that you like to make them up as you go, Romeo.” She waves and rushes off.

  I can’t tell if I scared her. Her reaction was certainly not typical. She was surprised but not turned off. She didn’t give me a “poor dear” look or a “get the hell away from me” look. It was more as if she didn’t believe me, which is even weirder. She has me so messed up, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.