The Choices We Make (Relentless Book 4)

by Barbara C. Doyle

  Envy swarms through me, even though I should be grateful that Mrs. Nelson is now, reluctantly, walking back to her group. Sure enough, they’re all looking at me and Addy, whispering to themselves.

  I sigh. “Thanks for that.”

  He looks over Addy’s shoulder. “It’s not a problem. She can be a bit much. She stops by my father’s office daily to gossip with one of our secretaries.”

  I watch how Addy bounces in his arms, her smile ten times bigger than it was with me so far. Noah seems to notice, and sets her back down, ruffling her hair.

  “I missed you so much,” she tells him, sticking close to his legs. “Are you here to win me a duck?”

  My lips twitch. “I thought I was going to win you a duck.”

  Noah clears her throat. “You know, your dad always had a better arm than me. Kicked my butt in sports back in the day.”

  That isn’t true at all, but I see he’s trying to shift her interest back to me.

  I force myself to smile. “So, what are you doing here?”

  He points behind him. “I volunteered to man one of the booths. I, uh, figured I’d see Opal and Addy. Did she come with you?”

  “Nope. It’s just me and Addy.”

  He looks dejected, stuffing his hands in his dress pants. He’s dressed like he just came from work, still in a white button-up dress shirt and navy slacks.

  “Well, I’m glad for you,” he says.

  Addy puts her hand in his. “Are you here to play with me?”

  He kneels in front of her. “I have to work at the ring toss. They have goldfish. Would you like to try to win one? I’m sure your mom wouldn’t mind you bringing home a fish.”

  Would she? Fish seemed low maintenance, but I doubt they had anything they needed for one. Didn’t they need a tank with special water or something?

  Addy jumps up and down. “I want a fish!”

  Of course she does.

  I follow them over to the booth, examining the setup and the goldfish in plastic baggies off to the side. “Man, are you sure Opal will be cool with this?”

  Noah nods. “We talked about getting her a pet. Just never got around to it.”

  I don’t say anything in return.

  They’ve talked about getting a pet. That’s practically one step ahead of getting married.

  Fuck. You shouldn’t care.

  I pull out some money. “How much?”

  “Five dollars for five tosses,” he says.

  I pass him a five, and he gives me the rings. Addy cheers me on as I toss the first one, missing the bottle then and the next three times. Her enthusiasm quickly dulls as I miss the fourth shot, too.

  “Daddy, I thought you were good at this?”

  My lips twitch, and Noah tries to fight off an amused smile.

  “Guess I’m a little rusty,” is all I say.

  Thankfully, I get the last toss. She claps loudly, running over to the fish on display. Thankfully none of them are dead like you see at state fairs. How long do fish live anyway?

  “How many do I have to land to win a fish?”

  “I’m going to name him Bert!” Addy informs us, making cooing noises toward the fish like it’s a baby. “Hear that, Bert? We’re gonna be best friends and live together and talk about princesses and horsies and dollies …”

  Noah watches her in such awe that I can’t be pissed at the guy. Seeing how much he loves her wipes away the fact that he’s with Opal. I know it’s petty since Opal seems to think there’s nothing left of our story, but that doesn’t mean I want to close our book for good.

  “Since she’s already named one, you can take him,” he tells me, passing the fish that Addy has fallen in love with to me.

  “What else do I need?” I ask dumbly.

  He passes me a small bottle of food. “This will be enough food for the next few days. The store should have pet supplies, like a bowl. They make sure to stock them for events like this in case somebody wins.”

  I stare at the fish, making a face. It’s so small, and the weirdest color of yellow-orange. Its eyes are bigger than its head, yet Addy seems to be in love with the thing.

  I blow out a breath. “Thanks again.”

  Addy points toward the duck again. “Can I get the duck now?”

  “Why don’t we get something to eat first, then find a home for Bert,” I suggest, not knowing how long the fish will survive in the little bag he’s in now.

  Surprisingly, she doesn’t argue.

  Noah asks me to wait before heading out. Quietly, he says, “Can you not mention this to Opal? Like, that I was here? I should have just listened to everyone when they told me to let her come to me, but …” He shrugs.

  But he needed to see her. I get that.

  We grab hot dogs from the grill tent, eat, and then head to the car. I let her hold Bert, telling her to be careful so she doesn’t drop him. Last thing I need is him flopping around to his death.

  After half an hour of getting the proper supplies, thanks to the store clerk, I bring Addy home, texting Opal to let her know we’re on our way. I leave out the fact that we’re bringing back a new family member, figuring I’d let her be surprised. I’m sure once she sees Addy’s face, she won’t say no.

  Opal meets us outside, her face dropping to the fish bowl with Bert swimming around in it.

  “Uh … that’s a fish.”

  “It’s Bert!” Addy tells her.

  Opal slowly looks at me, anger swimming on her features. “She wanted a duck. A stuffed duck. How is this anywhere close? That’s a living thing, Bash!”

  Looks like Noah was wrong about her being cool with a fish.

  “I just thought it’d be okay,” I lie. If Noah didn’t want her knowing he helped Addy win Bert, then I doubted he wanted her knowing he was there.

  “Guess who gave it to us?” Addy asks, nearly jumping. I rush to take Bert from her, making sure she doesn’t splash his water everywhere.

  “Who?”

  “It was—”

  “Mrs. Nelson,” I cut her off, cringing. I don’t want Addy thinking it’s okay to lie, but Noah was adamant about keeping out of her business.

  And, okay, I was fine with that.

  “The old secretary?” she doubts.

  “Yep.” I pop my lips.

  Addy stares at me. “But—”

  “Want some candy, kid?”

  That stops her from talking. “Candy?”

  Thankfully, I also grabbed some Sour Patch Kids from the store. I was going to go home and stuff my face with them while watching something on TV, but they work for bribery, too.

  “Here you go.”

  She greedily takes them, hugging them close to her body. Opal eyes me suspiciously, so I pass her Bert, then the plastic bag of food from the store.

  She stops her stare down and looks at Addy. “Did you have fun, baby?”

  Addy quickly nods. “I played games, and saw my friends, and got a fish, and saw Noah, and ate hot dogs!”

  Well, there goes the bribery. Guess kids don’t understand unless you spell it out for them.

  “Noah was there?”

  “He gave me the fish!”

  Opal eyes me. “Mrs. Nelson, huh?”

  I cringe at the way her eyes pierce me. “He didn’t want you knowing he was there. He volunteered hoping to see you guys. The guy is trying, Opal. Take that as you will.”

  “Oh.”

  Yeah. Oh.

  “Did he say anything else?”

  “He misses you,” I tell her quietly. He didn’t have to say it. It was plastered on his face for everyone to see. The pain practically radiated off the guy, and it eased when he held Addy. Even if he only held her for a few seconds.

  Her expression goes blank. Not exactly the reaction I expect to see.

  “Well, we better go inside,” Opal dismisses, swallowing back her emotions.

  I want to ask her what she’s thinking. She loves Noah, doesn’t she? Or is there a thread of hope for me—for us—afte
r all?

  “I had a lot of fun tonight,” I tell them both, smiling down at Addy. Her eyes are trained on Bert. “Take good care of him, okay?”

  “I will! Promise!”

  We say good-bye and they turn to go into the building. As Opal holds the door open for Addy, I quickly call her name.

  She looks over her shoulder at me.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Noah, but I’m here if you need to talk. I know it’s not much, but …” I shrug. “It’s something. You can still trust me.”

  She gives me a soft smile. “I know, Bash. Goodnight.”

  ***

  November settled with a cold front across the east coast, early morning frost coating everything nearly every day for the past week. Newscasters are predicting the first snowfall to happen by the end of the month, which most people in town seem to be groaning over. Me? I’ve always loved the snow.

  And, apparently, so does Addy. Since the fair almost four weeks ago, we’ve gotten to know each other quite a bit. She’s been to my house with Opal a few times, and we’ve watched movies. She chose, of course, so I’ve seen my fair share of Disney flicks.

  Sadly, I can remember every word to every song in The Little Mermaid, Mulan, and Pocahontas, which Ian recorded when the guys were over hanging out with us. Dylan got a taste of Elsa and Olaf, and still couldn’t grasp that a snowman liked warm hugs.

  Go figure.

  Ashton even visited for a week, meeting Dylan’s parents for the first time. When they announced they were expecting, Dylan’s mother could be heard screaming her excitement around town.

  Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but it’s not too far off. Ashton’s visit was kept on the downlow, so people didn’t swarm her. She still got a few pictures in with her fans. Ever since she found out she is expecting, she’s lowered the amount of shows she usually does. Her and Dylan are doing a joint show together in Nashville, then she goes on tour before she starts really showing. I guess her manager suggested she do studio time the further along she gets, so it’s less traveling and less stress on her body and the baby.

  And Dylan, I think he’s warming up to the idea of fatherhood. Although everyone else is still reeling over the fact he’s going to be a parent. Mr. Never-Going-To-Settle-Down has tea parties with Addy whenever he’s around, and I caught him lip singing to Moana.

  Last night, Will and Tessa were over while Addy stayed the night. Opal seemed hesitant to be away from her, but Addy was excited, and Opal couldn’t say no.

  Where Will and Tessa went, Ollie the cat followed, so Addy got to fall in love with the grey, overweight fur ball. Tessa insists he’s lost weight, but I don’t buy it. The cat had to be at least twenty pounds. Addy could barely pick him up, so Will had to set him on her lap when she settled on the couch.

  Being in Clinton was nice. Having everyone settle down in between tours reminded me of what it was like before we left six years ago. Well, minus the fact that I was dad, and Dylan was about to be as well. Will and Tessa weren’t together, Ian was always around instead of back in Vermont where he usually stayed now with Kasey and Taylor, and Ben was … well, somewhere.

  Two weeks ago, I noticed him walking down the street with Ryder Harding. They seemed awfully close, more so than usual, but I didn’t stop them or make a spectacle. Ben didn’t seem to know what he wanted, or maybe he finally had decided. Even though they weren’t touching, their body language said they were together.

  Come hell or high water, they’d be a couple. If they weren’t already. I just wished he’d be honest with me.

  He’s the master of avoiding the truth, but I don’t have the energy to fight him on it. He can live in his own delusion until he has no choice but to admit the truth.

  Opal picked up Addy early when Addy realized she didn’t have the right clothes for school. She realized this at five thirty. I don’t even know why she was up that early when school didn’t start until seven thirty, but she went on and on about taking care of Bert and getting ready all on her own, only to realize she didn’t have her favorite shirt.

  When I roam around the house at six, I glance over at Bert’s fish bowl, which Opal said she’d pick up later. Her hands were full of Addy’s things when they left, so I told her it was fine.

  Except … it wasn’t.

  Because Bert didn’t look so good.

  Not unless being belly-up was how he slept now. I bolt toward his bowl, peering in the glass at the way he just floats there, unmoving, upside down.

  I curse. And curse again.

  Grabbing my cell phone, I try figuring out what to do. Addy can’t know her fish is dead. Was it dead this morning when she saw it? Does she not know what dead fish look like?

  Jesus, I hope not, or she’ll officially turn into a vegan.

  Not knowing what to do, I dial the first person I can think of.

  Kennedy’s tired voice answers. “’ello?”

  “I need Noah’s number,” I rush out, staring helplessly at Bert. I’ve never had a pet before, and maybe this is a good indication of why. I can’t even keep a fish alive for longer than a month.

  “Bash?” There’s ruffling on her end. “I’m sorry, did you just say you needed Noah’s number? As in Noah Fuller? The same dude you secretly hate but pretend to like?”

  I sigh harshly. “I don’t hate him, okay? And yes, that Noah. There’s an emergency.”

  That seems to wake her right up. “Oh my god. What happened? Is Addy okay? Are you okay?”

  “We’re fine, everything is fine. It’s—” I cringe at how stupid this is going to come out. “It’s a fish emergency, okay?”

  She pauses. Then bursts out laughing. “I must still be half asleep. A fish emergency? What does that even mean? Like you need fish? You burnt a fish? Or is fish code for something. Ew, this better not be code for—”

  “I killed Addy’s fish, Kennedy!” I blast. “I don’t know what happened. I fed it last night, but I woke up and it was belly up in fish heaven. I was going to take it to a vet, then realized how stupid that was. So, just, can you help me? Can you give me Noah’s number?”

  She’s still laughing, barely able to catch her breath from all the wheezing. “Wow, this is so never being forgotten. First, why would Noah be able to help you with this?”

  I rake my hand through my hair. “He was the one who gave me the damn fish! I won it for Addy at the school fair, and he was manning the booth. I don’t know what kind of fish it was. It wasn’t totally orange like a goldfish. I have to get her a replacement before she realizes Bert is dead.”

  “She named the fish Bert? I thought she said it was Bill.”

  “How did you get Bill from Bert?” I scratch my stubbled chin. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. Yes, she named him Bert and she gave him a backstory that involves a runaway orphan turned prince that found true love and lived happily ever after with his fish family. Which reminds me, now I need to buy Bert a fish family.”

  “Dear lord,” she muses, and I picture her shaking her head. “You need to breathe, Bash. Those fish never last long. I’m surprised he’s lasted a month. Just be honest with her. You can always get her a fish that has a longer life span or something.”

  “But she loved Bert.”

  “Fine,” she groans. She gives me Noah’s number, and I quickly write it down on the white board on the fridge. “You owe me for waking me up this early.”

  I glance at the clock, remembering it’s only six. “Shit. Sorry, Ken. I’ll make it up to you. Lunch?”

  “Dinner, and you’re also buying me drinks.”

  I chuckle. “Got it. Love you.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She hangs up, and I quickly dial Noah’s number. With him, I don’t care if it’s too early. Hell, knowing him, he’s probably up and getting ready for work.

  When he answers and hears what happened, he tells me the same thing Kennedy does, giving me the address to the nearest pet store. I try explaining that Bert is what Addy wanted, but he didn’t
seem to get it.

  “She’ll love any fish, she’s an animal lover.”

  “Is that why you took her to the farm?” I deadpan.

  He swears. “I didn’t know they were going to bring the cow to the butcher. The kid will never forgive me for that.”

  “Nope. Anyway, thanks for the info.”

  “Hey,” he calls, right before I hang up. “I, uh, was wondering if you could not tell Opal that I helped? She and I still aren’t talking, and I’m guessing she wasn’t happy that I was at the fair since Kennedy suggested I keep my distance.”

  “Why wouldn’t you want her to know?”

  He doesn’t answer right away. “I don’t want her thinking I’m buying my way back into their life. I don’t expect you to get it, Sebastian. I know you guys are … complicated.”

  I want to tell him that there’s nothing happening between Opal and me, but I don’t. I want there to be, but don’t know if Opal will ever consider the possibility. Her and I have been spending a lot of time together, and sure, most of it has been with Addy, too, but there would be some nights when Addy would go to bed and we sit and chat over coffee and cocoa.

  Opal and I … deep down, the old us is there. And some nights I think we both can see that. But every time Opal realizes she’s getting comfortable with me again, she withdraws. It’s like she’s afraid of us being Bash and Opal again, the couple who could have been forever.

  I sigh internally.

  Noah has helped me repeatedly with Opal, and being a jackass isn’t really in my nature regardless of what I want. “I won’t say anything.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  I grunt out a, “Yeah, okay,” before hanging up.

  Time to get a Bert 2.0.

  Age 18

  My heart hammers in my chest the closer I get to the café. Bash is already sitting down at a table with a coffee in front of him, which seems odd. He always waits for me to order.

  Maybe he’s as nervous as I am. He’s always picked up on my feelings, like we’re in tune with each other. Like two sides to a coin, we matched in harmony. When he called and asked to meet at Coyotes, I knew it was now or never.