Words Heard In Silence / Xena Uber

by T. Novan

  "Yes, but I know you prefer the back parlor as your own personal space. Perhaps your husband had an office with a separate entrance? Or the farm manager? Here in the main house, but not in the middle of your daily life? If there was a room like that, I would like it very much."

  "There is an manager’s office that has a separate entrance. You are most welcome to use it if you wish. Then we can retain the parlor for our personal use."

  "I would like that very much, Miss Rebecca. And that way, the back parlor remains private. I know how much time you spend in that room, and how lovely the view is in the late afternoon as the sun is setting behind the mountains. I would not want to take that from you, dear lady."

  "Then you will not. You will use the manager’s office and we will still have the parlor."

  Charlie stepped closer to the woman standing before him, and caught her hand in his own. The care she had given him, the things the thought of and offered for his comfort and convenience all touched him in places no one had ever reached. "I cannot even begin to tell you how much I appreciate the care you have shown for me, and for my men. I promise you, I will do my best to make it as comfortable for you as I can."

  "You have already given me more than you will ever know, Colonel Redmond." She paused for a moment then slowly stepped closer and embraced him, holding it for a long moment. "More than you will ever know." She whispered before stepping back.

  Charlie's arms encircled her automatically. The feel of her arms around him, the soft silk of her hair against his cheek, the warmth of her slender body against his own was heaven. He felt like he had been given a brief taste of Eden, like she heard the words in the silence of his heart and had answered them. He wanted to cry out when she stepped away, the sense loss was so great. He tried to speak, and had to clear his throat. "Miss Rebecca." He could not express what he felt in that moment. Instead, he simply bowed over her hand, pressing it to his lips in a long, tender tribute.

  The two came to a truce, and Charlie had permission from the lady of the house to hold his first staff meeting in the manager’s office. To have a place where his men could gather and stay reasonably warm was a blessing. It was amazing just how cold a large tent could get in the winter.

  Together, Charlie and Rebecca went downstairs to sample Sarah’s breakfast cooking. They entered the morning room, traditionally used by the family for intimate meals like breakfast, to find Dr. Walker already there, and happily eating Sarah’s lovely, fluffy drop biscuits with butter and honey. Appropriate greetings were exchanged, while Rebecca poured cups of coffee for Charlie and herself. She then settled at the small table with the two old friends. Elizabeth watched the two with a twinkle of amusement in her eye. Clearly, these two had a connection. It remained to be seen just how intense it was and if Charlie would have the courage to act on it.

  "Ah, Mrs. Gaines. I must thank you for the lovely hospitality you afford me. I cannot tell you how much more pleasant it is to have a room and a bed of my own when out in the field with the boys."

  "Dr. Walker, please, call me Rebecca."

  "And you must call me Elizabeth, as Charlie does."

  "It is my pleasure, I assure you. I have been alone in this big old rambling place for so long that company is most welcome. I trust you slept well?"

  "Most assuredly. Colonel Polk was kind enough to escort me back to the house last night when I finished surgery and I was so exhausted that I simply retired after a light supper. I know it was not the most polite action, but I was sure you would understand."

  Charlie broke into their chat. "So how did the surgery go, Elizabeth?"

  The physician’s face shifted into a focused look of concern. "He had a compressed skull fracture. I have cleaned the wound, relieved the pressure on the brain and removed a number of bone splinters. Now it is a matter of time. He may stay as he is until something like pneumonia takes him, or he may begin to recover. It really depends on how strong he is."

  "Thank you for your efforts, ma’am. I will write his family again, providing them with at least some information as to his status and prospects. If you do not mind looking it over when I am done, I would deeply appreciate it."

  "Of course, Charlie. I know how hard these things are for you, my friend." Elizabeth patted his arm gently.

  A pang of jealousy shot through Rebecca as she watched the easy exchange between the two. The closeness of their friendship, shown both in the fact that they were on a first name basis and in the casual touch, burned into her. She wanted that kind of easy intimacy with the Colonel.

  "So tell me, Elizabeth, how did you and Colonel Redmond meet?"

  Elizabeth glanced at Charlie, a little concerned over inadvertently revealing more than perhaps the Colonel would like.

  "It is all right, Elizabeth. She knows." There was a calm self-assurance in the statement that was a testament to Charlie’s faith in this woman’s discretion.

  One eyebrow rose with that knowledge. What is there between these two? Charlie only came to me because of absolute necessity and then I thought I would have to drag it out of him. Yet he has only known Rebecca for a few days and yet he speaks of her knowing with so much confidence. Has our good, austere and isolated Colonel fallen?

  "To be honest, we met as doctor and patient. Charlie was injured and needed help. He sought me out, hoping I would understand and keep his trust. From there, we became friends."

  As the three of them sat and chatted politely over breakfast, Beulah escorted Colonel Polk into the room.

  "Good morning, Miss Rebecca, Doctor Walker, Colonel." Polk’s manners were still impeccable. He stood there, fidgeting with the brim of his hat.

  "Please join us, Colonel." Rebecca motioned to Beulah to get the Colonel a cup of coffee.

  "Thank you, Miss Rebecca." He turned to the physician. "Did you sleep well, Doctor? I was concerned about you last night. You seemed so exhausted. You know," he admonished, "if you wear yourself out, I would not –– you will not be able to help any of the men," he finished rather lamely.

  "Thank you for your concern, Colonel. I truly appreciated your waiting for me last night and escorting me back to the house." She smiled very gently at the slightly flustered officer. "Your concern and care for me, Colonel, is always appreciated."

  Rebecca watched these two, then glanced at Charlie. The look on his face almost made her giggle. He had leaned back in his chair and was watching the two of them like a satisfied, well fed cat. The look of benign amusement in his eyes, coupled with the small smirk that twisted his lips immediately conveyed the message. Elizabeth and Polk? Well that had possibilities. The stab of jealousy receded, and instead Rebecca thought that perhaps, just perhaps, Elizabeth would be someone she could talk with.

  Elizabeth and Polk came to something of an impasse, with neither of them willing to move forward in their conversation nor willing to break their eye contact. Charlie raised an eyebrow and decided to break the tension.

  "Polk, I am glad you are here. I have a couple of issues I would like to discuss with both you and Dr. Walker." The two broke their gaze and looked at Charlie inquiringly. Rebecca hid her smile behind her coffee cup.

  "We have a couple of morale problems to deal with. First, Dr. Walker, I have orders to try to build bridges to the civilian community. President Lincoln is aware that this war cannot continue for too much longer. The end is inevitable." Both Polk and Elizabeth nodded their agreement, as did Rebecca. "He wants us to do whatever we can to lay a groundwork of relationship with the civilian populations that will make the reconstruction of the Union as painless as possible, given the antipathy of the situation."

  "I would like to offer the people of Culpeper County access to our medical services, plus what ever else we can provide them. Can you organize such an outreach effort, Doctor?"

  "Well, I can certainly organize the resources. But I have no relationship with the people here. I have not lived in the area for years, and when I did it was down in Charlottesville." She turned to Rebecca.
"Perhaps, Mrs. Gaines, you could assist in this process? Surely providing medical care for your neighbors is not an issue related to which side of this conflict you support, but instead can be framed in terms of being a good neighbor."

  She nodded, placing her cup on the table. "I would be delighted to help Elizabeth. There are many good people here who just need a helping hand to get back their good standing. But I must warn you. There are some very sharp beaks in Culpeper."

  "Excuse me?"

  The Colonel laughed. "Miss Rebecca is referring to what she like to call the biddie brigade."

  The doctor and Polk, both burst out laughing. Charlie looked to Rebecca, but did not even pretend to try and hide the grin on his face.

  "Oh you!" She scolded, giving him a playful slap to the hand. "The doctor will think awful things of me if you tell such stories."

  "Then dear lady, do not say such things." He teased, causing further laughter from the guests.

  Elizabeth glanced down to the table, noticing that Rebecca had not moved her hand from Charlie’s and that he had wrapped his fingers around hers. They do not even know they are holding hands. What they have is so natural they do not even notice. Oh Charlie, you have found yourself quite a lady here. Be strong and hang on to her.

  Charlie turned to Polk. "What about ways that the men can create some relationship with the locals? Would you think they would accept help in getting their properties back in shape for the spring? Perhaps checking and fixing fencing, roofing, barns and such? I would think the men might actually enjoy doing things like this, as it is certainly better than sitting around being bored and they might find it comforting to be able to do something familiar."

  "I also think it would be a good way to help erase some of the lines that have been drawn between the original troops of the 13th and the men from the 49th that we have used to build the regiment back up to full force."

  "Your opinions are most welcome. Miss Rebecca, what do you think about the citizens’ willingness to accept such support?"

  "As I said before," She moved her hand from Charlie’s to pour him another cup of coffee. An action that went totally unnoticed by Charlie, but most certainly did not by Polk and Walker. "There will be those who will gratefully accept the help. Then there will be others who will be obstinate and half-witted."

  She continued fussing with his coffee, adding just a touch of milk then stirring it in before placing it back in front of him. It was all Elizabeth could do not to laugh out loud when she watched Charlie pick up the cup without even looking at it. He just knew it would be there.

  Oh dear, Charlie. You have managed to fall in love. She glanced at Rebecca, who was watching Charlie. And she adores you.

  "Well, Polk. I think you have your work cut out for you in terms of building civilian relationships. On a different subject, I am concerned about some of the issues that raised themselves the other day. In particular, how common is Montgomery’s attitude among the men?"

  "I have asked the company commanders to feel this issue out, but because of the sensitivity, I wanted to have the reports given verbally. I expect to have the information at today’s staff meeting."

  "And the issue of the integration of the men into a solid team?"

  "That is also on today’s agenda."

  "Then, my friend, we need to go hear what our officers have to tell us."

  "I will bring them around to your office just at one o’clock, after the noon mess, Sir."

  "Oh, I am not going to be using the overseer’s cottage as an office after all. I will be using the office here in the main house. Why do not you use the overseer’s cottage as your facility, and put the quartermaster in with you. That would probably be more convenient for you, my friend."

  "Well, I am not going to argue about an office with a real roof and a good clean-burning hearth. Thank you, Sir. Where shall I have the staff assemble then?"

  Charlie knew that Rebecca was listening in on their conversation. He looked at her and received a smile of confirmation. "Ah, I will have Beulah show you on your way out. Oh, and have the dispatches brought to me there."

  Charlie turned to Dr. Walker. "Perhaps, Elizabeth, you will join me for lunch and give me your views on the state of our infirmary and our injured?" She nodded her acknowledgment, and smiled at Rebecca. Polk was waiting at the door to escort her to the infirmary. "Until later then, my friends."

  Chapter 9

  Sunday, November 20, 1864

  The day had been more tiring than Charlie expected. Perhaps it was his own illness, perhaps it was the dreams that had plagued his fever-ridden sleep the previous nights, perhaps it was the enormity of trying to heal the rifts between the Union and Confederacy, even on the small level of the community of Culpeper County.

  He sat on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed and pulled off his half boots. The coat and weskit were neatly folded on the coat rack already. He slid out of his trousers and folded them over the bar on the coat rack. Standing by the hearth, staring into the fire, wearing only his shirt and socks, he stretched, twisting back and forth trying to relieve the knots in his back and shoulders.

  Rebecca came to the door, holding a bottle of liniment that Elizabeth had given her to help Charlie's cold. She paused, seeing him there, mostly undressed she nearly dropped the bottle, but managed to hold on to it. "Colonel?"

  Charlie started, turning around quickly. "Oh, Miss Rebecca. I am sorry. I did not realize you were there." He flushed slightly, then realized she had seen pretty much all of his body at one time or another.

  "It is all right." Rebecca swallowed hard. "Um, Doctor Walker was kind enough to give me this menthol rub for your cold. She said I should give your back a thorough rubbing with it"

  Charlie flushed a darker shade of red. "Um, its not necessary. I am feeling much better. And I am sure you would rather not sleep with a bedmate that smells like a medicine ball."

  She stepped into the room and closed the door. "I really think we should follow her orders if you are going to recover fully." She bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling.

  "Um, I guess that means you need my back bare?"

  "It would make the job a bit easier, yes."

  Charlie looked very much like a startled deer, in the moment before it bolted. "And you would like me to be somewhere that you could get at my back?" With your hands. "With the liniment."

  "Yes." She could only smile now. "Why do not you take off your shirt and lay down on the bed?"

  Flushing a deeper red yet, Charlie turned away from her, facing the bed, and slowly took of her shirt. The strong shoulders, tapering down to a slim waist and trim hips emerged hesitantly. From behind, Rebecca could see the simple cotton underpants she wore - and the band around her ribs that constrained her breasts.

  Rebecca took a deep breath to try and calm her racing heart. Oh, Lord. She could only stand there and find Charlie nothing but astounding. "Let me help you." She stepped forward, licking extremely dry lips before placing the bottle on the nightstand and reaching for the bindings that would free the Colonel and bring the woman completely into being.

  Charlie closed his eyes. Her hands on his skin were warm and gentle. Alone, this moment was one of freedom, when the bands around his chest were freed and he could breath deeply, releasing Charlotte, if only in private. Before this woman, it was a moment of extraordinary fear and anticipation. With the transformation from Charlie to Charlotte, would she be repelled? Charlotte’s voice was loud in his head, reminding him of just what an abomination he was. You have lived as a man for so long, Charlie Redmond, you have forgotten what it is to be a woman. Except for moments like this, when you emerge from your costume and your role and face the truth of who and what you are. His breathing was shallow, and every muscle in his torso tense. It was as if she held him in her hands.

  Rebecca’s hands were actually shaking. She took slow, deep breaths to control everything she was feeling as she unwrapped Charlie’s bindings. The urge to touch this beautiful c
reature before her was overwhelming. Once the bindings were dropped to the floor, Rebecca whispered "Lie down." She recognized the timbre in her own voice, but hoped it would escape Charlie.

  Rebecca’s whisper shot fire through Charlie’s body. The combination of Rebecca’s touch and her voice were almost enough to make her lose control. She wanted to turn around, to take her in her arms, to feel her skin against hers. She lay down on the edge of the bed, face down, with her head cradled in her crossed arms. A deep breath, let out slowly, helped her to gather herself and her rampaging hormones. "Is this how you want me?"

  Oh, D ear God, give me strength. She wanted to tell Charlie no and then figure out exactly how she did want her. Instead she picked up the bottle and poured a little of the oil in her hands. "That is fine." It came out almost as a squeak.

  Charlie nodded. "Uh, would you mind covering my legs? Its a little chilly in here." Chilly was not how she was feeling. But maybe a little modesty would help. Maybe. Some.

  "Thank you. It was a little nippy in here." Charlie buried her head deeper in her folded arms. Maybe I can slip up to Washington for a few days. Maybe that would help. If I just got some of this wanting out of my system a bit, it might be easier. Who the hell are you kidding Charlie?. The voice in her head was back, making it a bit easier to manage the feelings in her belly. She could not want you. You are no man, just the image. No woman like her could ever love an abomination like you. Why look at you - the only time you have ever been touched is from whores. She is just kind. That is all it is, just a kindness from a lady who is far too good for the likes of you.

  "Tell me if I hurt you." She said before laying hands on the flesh before her. Her breathing hitched when she first touched Charlie. Despite the scars, the skin was smooth and warm and Rebecca felt a unique sensation settle deep in her belly as she began a gentle massage.

  Charlie could not help it. She could not stop it. A long groan was forced from deep within her. The feel of her hands gently kneading her body, her shoulders and the heavy muscles in her back was infinitely sensual. Her breathing became deeper. Goosebumps pulled her skin tight. Her nipples hardened so that the gentle pressure of the sheet was almost painful. "You can use a little more pressure." Her voice was tight. It was all she could say right then. Anything else and she would know.